The Way Forward
by amarie14
Summary: Takes place in Season 7 and tells the story of the progression of Emily & JJ's relationship after Emily returns from Paris. Each chapter is written around each new episode  as they air in the US .
1. Chapter 1

13

**Author****'****s ****note: **This is my very very first attempt at fanfic. So, please be gentle but do not hesitate to be honest and forthcoming with the reviews/input.

The format of my writing right now is closer to, shall we say, an embellished recap more so than straight original fiction. Particularly the 1st chapter of this story sticks closely to the story (and dialogue) of the episode with my additions on some of the thoughts and motivations of the characters. I want to read into/create subtext from the episodes, telling my vision of the Emily/JJ story. So the "fiction" (in so far as the story diverges from the actual episodes) will increase as the chapters progress.

*****I do not own these characters or Criminal Minds*******

**Chapter 1: "It Takes a Village"**

Three and a half months after JJ returned – Senate Committee hearing.

"How often do spend months on a case, Agent?" the Chairman spat contemptuously down at Agent Jareau.

"We don't, but this one was – "

"Personal?"

"_Different,__" _JJ countered firmly. She was fighting back fury at the bullshit of this bureaucratic mechanism. This guy had no idea how things worked in the field, let alone the context in which the team was working. And he obviously had no intention of listening.

"Do you realize what you've _done_?" the Senator's condescending tone further provoked JJ.

"Yes, we put an international criminal with terrorist connections in federal custody." _Asshole_, she thought.

"You may consider that a victory. But you used government funds for a personal vendetta. And now, six people, including two of your agents, are dead." JJ stared hard at the chairman, biting back the angry retort that rose to her lips. _Except__that__the__other__four__were__international__criminals._She wondered if that actually made her feel better. She was exhausted. This Senate hearing was taking far too long, although she should have known something like this would happen. _They __could __be __a __little __more __grateful. __Sometimes __the ends justify the mean__s._

...

- 2 Months Ago -

JJ leaned into Morgan's office. "Hey, have you guys seen Reid?" Penelope, who was sitting across from Derek's desk, jumped slightly at the sound of JJ's voice, and turned in her chair, looking very much like a child caught in the act.

"He's at the firing range," the technical analyst told JJ, looking at her then quickly averting her eyes.

"_Again_?" JJ asked. Reid had been there are least 3 or 4 times a week since JJ had been back with the team.

"Yeah, ever since Prentiss died…" it was obvious Penelope was uncomfortable saying those words aloud, but had failed to come up with an alternative. JJ, uncomfortable with the situation herself, but for her own reasons quickly interjected.

"Yeah, yeah. Ok." She paused, unsure of whether to stay or go. She knew Morgan and Garcia were working on something together, they were always cooped up around Morgan's desk or huddled over Penelope's computer. And JJ had a pretty good idea of what it was. "Did you guys get a new case?" She feigned. The look of a guilty child quickly restored itself on Penelope's face and she opened her mouth to speak, but Derek cut in.

"No. Just an old one." JJ thought it was pretty obvious he knew she didn't believe him.

"Need a pair of fresh eyes?" JJ knew how Morgan was, but she desperately wanted to help. She wanted to be a part of this effort, more than Garcia or Morgan could know, because she knew the implications if Doyle were out of the picture. _Emily__can__come__back_. In an instant JJ's mind was back in Paris, where she had last seen Agent Emily Prentiss. At that cafe, when she handed over Emily's new identities that not even JJ, her State Department contact, knew. Their hands had brushed when JJ handed Emily the envelope, and she had felt (or had she imagined) Em's fingers linger on hers for a moment. "Good luck" was all JJ had been able to muster, as she looked at her friend the last time…for any foreseeable future anyway. JJ could see the pain in Emily's eyes for a brief moment before she had braced herself, nodded, and strode away into the Paris night. And then she was gone, just like that.

"Not just yet." Morgan's voice brought JJ back to the present. His eyes met hers with a look of sincerity and she knew he would include her when the time came. JJ couldn't help but wonder if Morgan's trust of her would change if he found out the truth. _Getting __ahead __of __yourself __Jay, _she thought and she nodded to him and Garcia and closed the door.

Emily's absence had affected JJ much more than she anticipated. _At __least __you __know __she__'__s __not __dead_, she often reminded herself. But it didn't change the fact that she longed to hear Emily's deep laugh echo from the bullpin, or see her stern face break into that infectious smile. JJ missed Em's constant bickering with Reid, and the way that she could go head to head with Morgan. During their cases, JJ often found herself waiting for Prentiss to interject with the most obscure insight that only she could, or to look up from her slides and see Em's face, frowned with concentration and the tender concern that Emily always seemed to harbor for the victims.

JJ shook her head as she walked into her office. _They __will __find __Doyle_, she told herself. _If __anyone __can __it__'__s __Morgan __and __Penelope. __They __will. __Then __she __can __come __home._

_..._

It didn't take long for JJ's prediction to come true. Penelope and Morgan found Doyle, after 2 months of surveying his son, Declan. JJ was ready, she wanted to go out and take action. _Bring __Emily __home_, she thought steely. Not that she didn't have a vendetta against Doyle too – just because she knew he didn't succeed in killing Emily didn't mean that she wasn't just was ready as Morgan to see him suffer for what he had put her through. The memory of Emily's broken body on the hospital bed made JJ's blood boil.

The tactical operation revealed the death of the two agents who had been on watch duty over Declan, and the fact that Declan himself was missing. JJ had been furious, and terrified. He was in a way, a direct connection to Emily. Almost like her child, and JJ's mind went into a panic trying to figure out where Doyle could have taken him. However, once they had apprehended Doyle and Morgan began questioning, it became apparent that Ian Doyle had no idea that his son was missing. This was worse than JJ imagined. The thought of some unknown person out there with Declan…what if this other person had found Emily? They had spent so much time focusing on Ian Doyle, it never occurred to JJ that someone else might emerge with something to gain from Emily. There was so much she hadn't known – no one had known – about Emily Prentiss before all of this with Ian Doyle had started. Where there other ghosts from Emily's past? She was in Europe, where she had worked for Interpol, so…

"How long as Agent Morgan been looking for Doyle?" Chief Strauss' voice interrupted JJ's mental racing.

_Oh__shit_, JJ thought, taking a deep breath, not moving her eyes from the window into interregation room. "Since the night he killed Emily in Boston," JJ exhaled. "He refused to believe Doyle just vanished." She glanced over at Strauss who looked taken aback. JJ quickly looked away.

"He's been investigating Doyle for _seven __months_?" Strauss demanded. JJ, whose mind had already darted back to that night in Boston, nodded somberly. She turned to look at Strauss, who's look of incredulity caught her off guard.

"Are you surprised?" JJ asked. _If __she __had __any real __idea of __what __Emily __means __to __this __team, __she __wouldn__'__t __be __so __shocked_. JJ turned back to the questioning scene in front of her, examining Ian Doyle. She didn't have time for Strauss's pointless questions. They needed to find Declan. "He seems genuine," JJ mused aloud.

"Well of course he does," Strauss snapped. "He's a mastermind manipulator."

The profiler inside JJ rolled her eyes. "See his carotid?" She pointed out to Strauss. "His heart started _racing_ when Morgan mentioned Decalin. The tightness in his forehead, his darting eyes are signs of real concern." Strauss sighed and the realization that this had just gotten much more complicated looked like it was sinking in.

"Well if he didn't take his son, then who did?" JJ didn't have a response to that. _Where__'__s __Emily __when __you __need __her?_ Immediately, JJ's heart ached at the question, and she immediately regretted letting her mind go there. She drew in a deep breath, drawing herself up. _There__'__s __no __point __in __thinking __like __that. __Do __your __job, __and __she __can __come __home._

...

Two hours later, JJ was sitting next to Garcia, watching the analyst work her technology magic. JJ's phone beeped, and looking down she saw a text from Hotch, "Need to talk ASAP."

"They got something?" Penelope asked upon hearing the phone, though not looking up from her computer.

"Don't know," JJ answered as she walked out of the room. "I'll call you if I do." She ran into Hotch halfway down the hall. "Hey, got your message," she started.

Hotch stopped in front of her, the look on his face was disconcerting to JJ. "It's time."

"Why?" JJ's heart started beating a mile a minute. She wanted Emily home, but she knew that revealing that she was alive while Doyle still was meant there was no room for error. And even less than that. Doyle could send someone for Emily, even if he died along the way. This is not how JJ wanted this to go. "I thought Morgan may be able to break Doyle without her." Even just talking about Emily like she was alive made it difficult for JJ to breathe. With the rest of the team, it was a constant charade of grief – not that she didn't have real grief over Emily's absence, but it was different, having to pretend she was dead. JJ and Hotch hadn't seen much of each other since Hotch had been in Pakistan, so glaring truth reflected in the eyes of someone else who knew wasn't something she was used to. Not to mention discussing Emily in the present tense.

"Declan tried to make a call, she's on her way," Hotch said, making it apparent that this wasn't how he wanted to do this either, but they had no choice.

"Alright, " JJ sighed, bracing herself. "I'll get Morgan."

"I'll get the others."

JJ's mind was racing all over the place as she walked down to the interrogation room. _She__'__s__on__her__way._ Hotch's words echoed in her head. It was pure nausea – from anticipation of seeing Emily again, to terror of her safety, to more terror over how the team was going to react. Plus the fact that Declan was still missing. _Not __exactly __how __I __imagined __her __homecoming __would __be_, JJ thought.

"Everybody have a seat," Hotch told the team once everyone was present in the conference room. JJ could feel his nervousness as she went to stand next to him in the front of the room. Her heart was racing.

"She's _alive_?" Penelope whispered as tears began pouring out of her eyes. JJ looked from the technical analyst to Derek, who had remained standing the entire time Hotch spoke.

"_Issues?_" Morgan tensed. "Yeah, I got _issues._" JJ had known he wouldn't take it well, but she hoped – movement in the doorway interrupted her thought. _Emily. _JJ's mouth went dry, her heart seemed to burst in her chest as her eyes rested on the tall brunette standing in the back of the room. She couldn't help her face breaking out in an enormous smile as she stared. _She __looks __beautiful_, JJ thought. _Healthy, __strong __even_…_slightly __tired, __but __that__'__s __to __be __expected__…_JJ couldn't tear her eyes away from her friend's face. _In __the __flesh_. Something inside JJ seemed to come to rest. Like _she_ was the one who had just returned home. She felt whole, and safe. _Because __the __team __is __all __here,_ she thought. _The __family __is __back __together_.

...

Emily stepped into the room apprehensively. She had registered the anger and betrayal in Morgan's voice, and wasn't sure how her presence would be received initially. She couldn't believe she was seeing all these people again – _A __sight __for __sore __eyes __for __sure_, she thought. Her eyes flicked to the front of the room where JJ stood next to Hotch. She caught sight of JJ beaming at her and suppressed the urge to cry at the obvious joy on her friend's face. Overcome by her anxiousness about the rest of the team, she only managed a nod of acknowledgement to JJ, and looked back at the rest of them.

"I am so sorry," she said, taking steps into the room, and reaching out for Garcia, then Reid. "Not a day went by when I…" She trailed off as she saw Morgan's face. "You didn't deserve that." She didn't know what to say to repair the damage between them, but reached out for him, hoping he would be glad enough to see her alive. Confirmation came in his feeble hug back, and though Emily knew that there was more work to be done, her priority at this moment was Declan. The team sprang into action, filling her in on what they knew, asking questions. Emily could feel JJ's eyes on her the entire time, and when she looked over to meet them, she saw genuine fondness pouring out. _At __least __I__'__ve __got __her_. The intensity of JJ's gaze immediately took Emily back to the night in Boston. She had been sure that she was dying, laying there on the roof. Thoughts of Declan filled her with anguish. And…something about those blue eyes. Emily didn't dwell on her "dying" thoughts for long, as the urgency of the situation kept her focused. After coming to the conclusion that Gerace was working under the lead of a woman, she accompanied Garcia and JJ to Garcia's office to go over the suspect list.

"Doyle had relations with all these ladies?" Garcia asked, her voice full of humor and life more than it had been since Emily had "died."

"And more than that," Emily said, soaking in every minute of being reunited with her team members. She stole a quick glance at JJ over Garcia's head. Jayj flashed her a smile, her bright blue eyes still glowing. _God, __just __the __blue __of __those __eyes __made __the __trip __back __worth __it_, Emily thought before redirecting her attention back to the computer screen.

"Hey can you shoot these into the roundtable room for me?" She asked Garcia, who looked up at her adoringly.

"Anything you say, Visitor Prentiss," she smiled. Emily laughed and met again JJ's gaze over the tech analyst's head. Emily dropped her hand from the back of Garcia's chair as she turned to leave the room with JJ, whose hand somehow connected with Emily's for a brief moment, sending her heart racing. She returned JJ's smile as they exited the room, wishing she had the courage to take hold of the blonde woman's hand. She just wanted to feel close to JJ, something about her presence made Emily feel grounded, like everything _was_ going to be okay. The moment had passed though, and Emily left Garcia's office feeling embarrassed about her intense reaction to the briefest moment of physical contact with the blonde agent.

"So you're _actually_ back," Emily said smiling as the two made their way down the hall.

"Yeah," JJ laughed. "They'd been looking for your replacement, and Rossi called me." Emily smiled at the thought. She always knew JJ would make an incredible profiler. _I __bet __you__'__re __brilliant_, she thought.

"How's Will with the long hours again?" Were the words she chose instead, unsure of how to compliment her friend as sincerely as she wanted. She watched JJ's face at the mention of her significant other.

JJ sighed, "Long story." _What? _Emily wanted to ask more, to make sure JJ was okay, ready to be furious at Will for not supporting his brilliant partner. But she didn't - JJ's mind was clearly moving into unpleasant territory. _Change __the __subject__…_"I haven't seen Ashley," Prentiss remarked.

"Yeah she transferred," JJ answered.

"Mm," Emily paused, not really interested in talking about Seavers. "So, uh, how angry is the team?" Emily was glad to be able to have JJ to talk to about this, she was just glad to have JJ, period. She wasn't sure how the team would react to JJ's being in on the cover-up, but it was nice to at least have someone she knew wasn't angry with her.

"They're in shock," JJ answered honestly, even though Emily felt like she was toning down her real assessment. _She__'__s __sweet,_she thought. _She __wants __to __protect __me._ The thought of JJ acting out of affection for her made Emily's insides melt. _It__'__s __because __she__'__s __your __friend, __Emily. __And __she __knows __how __difficult __this __is, __plus __the __stress __of __the __current __situation __with __Declan__…__nothing __more __than__that. __Get __a __grip._

"Of course," she answered softly, biting her lip. She really wanted the rest of the team to understand the reasons behind the last seven months, but she could not even begin to express to JJ what her companionship meant to her at this moment. She stopped walking and turned to face JJ, looking straight into those familiar blue eyes. "Thank you," she said decisively. There weren't really any other words.

JJ tilted her head and smiled fondly at Emily. "It is _really_ good to see you." Emily could feel the sincerity in JJ's eyes, hear it in her voice. She longed to reach out and touch JJ's face, to draw her close, and tell her how much she truly meant.

JJ seemed to read Emily's mind about the desire for contact, and moved toward her, sliding her arm around the older woman's waist. Emily put her arm around JJ's shoulder and pulled the blonde against her side as the two walked in step down the hall. She smiled down at JJ affectionately, reveling in the feeling of JJ's body settled against her own. For the next 50 feet to the roundtable room, Emily was caught up in a blissful world of the brief scent of JJ's shampoo (_something __vaguely __floral __and__…__was __that __vanilla?_) and the curve of their bodies together (_it__'__s __amazing __how __perfectly __she __fits __right __here_). JJ's hair brushed against Emily's arm. _So__soft,__so__…_ the hairs on Emily's arm stood on end. Again, the brunette was embarrassed by the intensity of her reaction to the slightest contact with JJ. _Slight __contact? __Her __whole __body __is __pressed __against __yours. __You __can __practically __feel __the __texture __of __her __hair __on __your __cheek_. Emily's mind dwelled on the short distance from her mouth to the top of the blonde head. _All__of__this__in__30__seconds__of__physical__contact,_she shook her head slightly in an effort to clear it, as seconds later they broke apart as they entered the conference room.

...

5 days later – the Hearing

The entire team sat before the hearing board, awaiting their fate. JJ looked toward the center of the long table, where Emily sat, her hands folded in front of her, staring the chairman square in the eye as he reprimanded them. Declan was safe, Doyle was dead, the team was back together…_Emily__is__home_. JJ could hardly believe the whole thing. _They __can__'__t __disband __this __team, _she thought. _Not __now, __when __Emily__'__s __come __back __to __us, __when __we __have __the __chance __to __be __the whole __team __again_.

"May I?" The sound of Emily's voice made JJ sit up in her chair. "This team neutralized 4 international criminals and save the life of a little boy." JJ tried to hide her smile. Emily's ability to go head to head with these bigwig bureaucrats while maintaining perfect political decorum was something that she had learnt growing up as a child of ambassadors. JJ recognized the tone in Emily's voice, that calm defiance that JJ loved.

"You started a war with Ian Doyle years ago that this team and the US government had to finish," the Chairman snapped. JJ saw Emily bite her lip. Anger rose inside JJ. _Don__'__t __you __dare __make __her __feel __guilty, __after __all __that __she__'__s __been __through __and __done __for __this __country_. She wanted to stand up and yell at that stupid committee.

"The rest of you may go. Agent Prentiss," the Chairman said, looking down at her, "we are not done." JJ's heart sunk. Even if the team was allowed to stay, if they sent Emily away, it wouldn't matter. JJ could see the worry flash across Emily's face, but it quickly disappeared at the brunette drew herself up and stared back at the committee. As they left the room, JJ reached over and gave Em's shoulder a quick squeeze. _You__'__re __going __to __be __okay, _she thought, willing Emily to hear her unspoken words.

...

Half an hour later, JJ and Hotch walked down the hall, seeing Rossi and Emily standing by Emily's picture on the wall honoring fallen agents. JJ smiled as they approached, hearing Penelope and Prentiss talk about Sergio.

"Oh he's a love, isn't he?" Emily smiled at Garcia.

"He takes after his mama," the technical analyst smiled back. At that moment Emily looked up and caught JJ's eye, who was beaming in agreement with Penelope's statement. _I __can__'__t __believe __you__'__re __actually __here_, JJ could only smile at the beautiful brunette in front of her. Interrupting the moment, Chief Strauss marched by.

"We need to talk." The team followed her into the conference room, nervously awaiting the conclusion of the committee.

"The committee has made it clear that they will not support a rogue team." Strauss looked sternly around the room. "Agent Prentiss convinced them that you are not that."

JJ looked over at Emily. _Of __course __she __did._ She could not contain her adoration of the woman before her. Strong, resilient, driven…_Beautiful_. The last word surprised JJ as she caught herself staring at Emily's mouth. Not quite sure what to make of her own thoughts, JJ returned her attention to Strauss.

"This team is lucky to have you…that is, if you're interested," Strauss directed the question at Emily, who seemed surprised to be having her old job offered to her. JJ closely watched Emily's face. _Please __say __yes, __oh __God __Em, __please __say __yes!_

"May I think about it?" JJ's heart sunk a little. She didn't think she could handle the anxiety of waiting for Prentiss to decide.

"I'm in." JJ looked up, startled. Then seeing the smile on her colleague's face, she laughed and shook her head. _That __woman_…_she__'__s __home! __She__'__s __staying!_

"Prentiss." Morgan's voice cut across the room, as he frowned at Emily. _Not __now __Derek, _JJ thought. _Can__'__t __you __tell __she__'__s __been __through __enough today?_ "What exactly did you say to them?" His question came as a relief to JJ. And Emily smiled.

"I just told them that the only people who could've pulled off that mission walked out the door," she said. "And then I reminded them of what our job is." The team broke into laughter and a visible sense of relief overwhelmed them, as they stood in the conference room, hugging one another and mocking the committee. JJ couldn't keep her eyes off of Emily. _God __it __is __so __good __to __see __her __again,_ JJ just rested in the sight of Emily Prentiss alive and well in front of her.

...

As Emily lay in bed in her hotel room that night, a million things went through her head. She worried over how working with the team was going to be – _tonight __was __good, __but __they__'__re __still __hurt, and probably angry too,_ she reminded herself. _Especially __Morgan._She couldn't quite assess Reid, but thought that he was probably more hurt than angry. _Well, you knew this whoe process wasn't going to be easy. And __time __heals __all __wounds, __right?_ The thought wasn't all that comforting, but she didn't quite see what else she could do. _At __least __there__'__s __Penelope __and __JJ. __JJ__…_Emily's mind wandered back to the look on the blonde's face upon seeing her for the first time. Every look, every brief touch, every word the two had exchanged that day was replayed in Emily's head. _God __she __was __even __more __perfect __than __I __remembered_, Emily thought of JJ's hand on her shoulder as she left the conference room. The thought of the younger woman's arm around Emily's waist sent her stomach fluttering. _Emily, __you__'__ve __got __to __stop_. _She__'__s __your __friend, __she__'__s __wonderful, __and __you __love __her __like __a __sister._Emily sighed and turned over in her bed, punching her fist into her pillow. All those thoughts and images and feelings that had overtaken her when she was near death…she didn't know what to make of them. _What__'__s __so __difficult __to __understand? __You __nearly __died, __and __the __whole __time __you __were __unconscious, __it __was __JJ__'__s __face __you __saw. __You __love __her. _As a friend. _It__'__s __more __than __that __and __you __know __it._ Do I? Emily argued vehemently with herself. _It__'__s __just __not __like __that. __It__'__s __not _that _kind __of __love, _she thought decidedly to herself as she turned over again, still unable to get comfortable.

_Then __what __was __all __that __about __in __Paris?_ She stared up at the ceiling. It was true, once Emily had found out that JJ was to be her State Department contact, she had written her a letter, pages long about how while she was losing her life, all she could think of was JJ, of not seeing her, not being near her again. She had even written the words "I love you." _But __you __weren__'__t __even __sure __of __what __you __meant __by __that __then_, she reminded herself. _That__'__s __why __you __didn__'__t __give __it __to __her._Emily slammed her hands down onto the bed in frustration. _Get __a __grip, __Em. __You__'__ve __been __through __a __lot, __it__'__s __natural __to __feel __affection __towards __your __friends. __Stop __making __a __big __deal __out __of __this. __Just __be __thankful __you__'__re __back __with __the __team._ And she was. She was very much looking forward to seeing everyone tomorrow, and getting back to work. _Concentrate __on __that,_she commanded herself, and turned onto her side, closing her eyes to go to sleep. And as she drifted off to sleep she was filled with happiness about Declan's safety and the BAU being back together, interspersed with visions of the perfect smile of a certain blonde agent and the memory of the faintest vanilla scent that Emily couldn't quite place.

…~~~….


	2. Chapter 2: Painless

*****I do not own these characters or Criminal Minds*******

**Chapter 2: Painless**

Emily drummed her hands on the steering wheel, exhaling through her teeth as she stared at the never-ending line of traffic in front of her. She could feel this was going to be a long day, and she didn't even know if they had a case yet. Being back with the BAU team was a relief, though not without its rocky moments. Emily thought back to the first case they'd worked, all together as a team, remembering Reid yelling at JJ for lying to him about Emily's being alive. The look on JJ's face had been…_crushed_, Emily thought. She had felt guilty for the burden she'd placed on JJ and Hotch, like she'd forced them to lie to the rest of the team. Even though it wasn't true, she couldn't help feeling the guilt, especially when she remembered the pure despair on JJ's face in that moment with Reid. _JJ__'__s __face_…Emily's mind wandered, lingering on the blue of those eyes that, even when filled with the most utter sadness could – "Oookayy…" Emily verbally interrupted herself, sitting up and readjusting herself in her seat. "Enough of that." She shook her head slightly, trying to clear all the thoughts of the blonde from her mind. _Inappropriate __thoughts,_ she clarified herself. _Deny __it __all __you __want __but __you __know __where__your __mind __would __go __if __you __didn__'__t __stop __it__…_ She reached out and punched the car radio on. Drowning out the truth had become her M.O. lately when it came to her thoughts of JJ. They just wouldn't stay in their boxes anymore, and Emily wasn't sure what to do. _Um, __nothing. __Because __there __is __nothing __to __do __anything __about_. Emily wasn't gay. Actually, she didn't really like the whole idea that you had to choose a label for yourself, but either way. She was attracted to men. Not that she hadn't been with women before, it was just that they were few and far between and mostly because she had been curious and in her twenties. Besides, what she felt for JJ was the love of a friend. _And __appreciating __your __friends__' __physical __beauty __is __normal __for __women, _she was constantly justifying. But there was that little part of her that preserved those feelings from her near-death experience, that remembered the intensity and desperation she had felt upon the near reality of never seeing JJ again. But that part of her was easily reinterpreted now, months removed from the event. _And __all __those __feelings, __you __felt __them __for __the __rest __of __the __team __too. __It __was __love __for __your __family_. If you tell yourself something often enough, even you start to believe it. And that's what she was counting on.

...

"Do you guys recognize this picture?" Penelope Garcia stood in front of the team in the roundtable room, gesturing to the projection screen. It was a picture of the principal from a high school shooting ten years ago, Emily vaguely knew the details.

"High school bombing in Boise, right?"

"School shooter _and_ school bomber," JJ interjected from across the table. Emily smiled inwardly as she looked to her colleague. JJ began recapping the event, it was sounded familiarly like her days with the remote.

"It was one of those 'where were you events,' my whole campus was glued to the tv." _God __she__'__s __young,_ Emily thought, trying to picture JJ in college. _She __is __so __damn __cute, __I __bet __in __college __she-_

"Last night Principal Givens was killed by a bomb, modeled exactly like the one used ten years ago," Penelope's nervous voice cut into Emily's budding fantasy. _Get __your __head __in __the __game, __Emily_, she chided herself. _This __is __ridiculous. Can you please b__e __professional?_

_..._

Boise

After returning from the Slade's house, Emily sank down in a chair at the police station. She watched as Morgan smirked to himself as Reid's phone rang for the 4th time in the ten minutes they'd been back.

"This brings back memories of the high school social ladder," Reid said, silencing his cell phone. "The cool kids and everyone else." Emily resisted the temptation to think back to her high school days. Not something she remembered fondly, she was definitely _not_ one of the cool kids. "Hey did you guys know that JJ was one of the mean girls?" Reid turned to Morgan and Prentiss.

"I was not!" JJ walked into the room and placed a cup of fresh tea next to Emily, turning back to Spencer. "I told you I was one of the nice girls, Reid." _How __did s__he __know __this __was __just __what __I __needed? And it's decaf too!_ she looked over at the young blonde appreciatively.

"Yeah, like I said, valedictorian, soccer star, corn-fed and still a size zero…" Reid continued matter-of-factly and Morgan nodded.

"Mmmhmmm, yeah, Jayj I think you're fighting a losing battle here. There's no way you weren't one of the popular kids."

"Just because I was popular doesn't mean I was _mean,_" JJ insisted, turning to Emily. "Help me out here!" She threw her hands up in exasperation. Emily just laughed and shook her head, taking a sip of her tea, averting her eyes from the blonde's figure, trying to push Reid's comment about her clothing size out of her head.

"Yeah but you couldn't recall one person who tormented you in high school, which means you weren't," Reid countered. "Even the nice girls get made fun of every so often. It's the mean girls who non one dares to pick on."

"What. Ever," JJ rolled her eyes, as Morgan laughed again and rose from his chair to leave the room.

"Coffee?" He asked, looking at the other three. JJ shook her head and indicated to the cup in her hand. Emily did the same, catching JJ's eye over the rim of her cup.

"Thank you," Emily stressed, appreciatively, trying to convey gratitude for a lot more than the tea with the words. JJ waved away the thanks as she took another sip.

"I know how you operate," she said, giving Emily a wink as she turned and faced the drawing board on the wall. Emily's body tingled at the blonde's words. While her senses were going crazy she struggled to control her mind. _Tea, __it __was __tea, __everyone __knows __you__'__re __an __addict now__…__friends__…__you __guys __are __like __family__…__.she__'__s __so __fucking __cute__…__shut __up__…__it __was __just __a __cup __of tea__…__but __she__'__s __so __sweet__…__aaand __time __to __get __back __to __work __Prentiss. _Sitting up in her chair and taking a deep breath, Emily turned back to the case file in front of her, fighting the very strong urge to revert her attention to the beautiful mess of golden blonde hair to her left.

...

Another victim. One of the guys Emily had just interviewed. She hated when cases went like this, with the bodies piling up, adding extra urgency to everything they did. She was standing next to JJ's chair, going through high school yearbooks, looking for any clues to point them toward the unsub. Without the rest of the team around, Emily felt oddly nervous standing in close proximity to JJ.

"It's so weird seeing yearbooks again," Emily broke their silence, feeling slightly awkward. She stole a quick glance at the top of JJ's head. "A friend of mine who teaches said Facebook is making them practically obsolete." _Nice, __Em. __Fascinating __topic. __Why __are __you __making __small __talk __like __you __guys __are __awkward __acquaintances? __It__'__s __JJ __for __god__'__s __sake._

"I am having serious flashbacks looking at all these senior bios," JJ responded, not seeming to notice Prentiss' discomfort. "Four years of accomplishments boiled down to a few sentences. Wait…hey Em," JJ paused in the middle of turning a page. Emily warmed at the endearment from the younger woman. "Did your school have anything called the 'Top Ten?'"

"No...is it an academic thing?" Emily turned the page in the yearbook she was holding, figuring JJ, the valedictorian, beautiful soccer star and nice girl, would have been all over anything called the "Top Ten."

"Doesn't look like it," JJ started. "Only 10 of the survivors list it, including Jerry and Chelsea and neither one of them were valedictorian material."

"You would know," Emily muttered, smiling without taking her eyes off the pages before her.

"Hey now." JJ looked up and her gaze drew Emily's. JJ tilted her head, giving Emily an indignant look. Prentiss just laughed and turned back to her yearbook, afraid to be looking at those blue eyes too long. "Okay," JJ sighed standing up. "What are we lookin' at here?" The proximity of her shoulder to Emily's did not go unnoticed by the older agent.

"Well, maybe it's a clique within a clique," Emily posited, shifting her weight in JJ's direction. _To __get __a __better __look __at __the __pictures __obviously_, Emily justified her movement, while attempting to squash the overwhelming urge for physical contact with the blonde.

"Yeah, but it's jocks, nerd, theater geeks…nothing that would bring these kids together," JJ stared intently at the pictures on the table. Emily's eyes travelled upward, noticing JJ wringing her hands as she worked through her thoughts. _Fucking__adorable_, the brunette thought to herself. _She __has __got __to __be __the __cutest __profiler_. "Except…" JJ's voice interrupted Emily's adoration momentarily.

"What?" Emily looked intently at the younger profiler's features. She just couldn't help it. JJ embodied _that_ girl, she was intelligent, beautiful, had adorable, endearing mannerisms…and Emily couldn't help but be impressed with JJ's profiling skills. She was proud of JJ for becoming a profiler, and for being so good at it. _Like __an __older __sister __would __be_, Emily thought, feeling triumphant at her conclusion that was far from anything that could be construed as inappropriate. Holding onto the feeling of sisterly – _it __is __definitely __sisterly_ – pride and ignoring the fact that her gaze was lingering on JJ's perfectly formed lips, Emily waited for the younger woman to share her thoughts.

"I know what the Top Ten is."

...

Emily rested her head against the back of her seat. The case was over, Robert was dead. Hopefully the nightmares for that school in Boise were finished. She adjusted the newspaper in front of her eyes, not really reading the words, but lost in thought, reflecting about the case. It was her fourth case back in the field, and she was feeling mostly alright about how she was doing. Those hours of take-down training with Morgan hadn't hurt, but she wasn't about to tell him that. She glanced next to her smiling at the man who had insisted they redo the training. He had a confused look on his face and was pressing random buttons on his mp3 player. Suddenly Emily heard a faint high-pitched noise coming from Morgan's headphones and he tore them off his head.

"Ok kid, that was cute," Morgan said to a "sleeping" Reid across the jet. "But that's all you got?" Immediately, Morgan's phone rang, and upon answering it, more Reid-screams filled the air. Emily chuckled as the young doctor feigned snoring in response to Morgan's threats. Looking past Reid, she saw Hotch sitting alone, going over paperwork. She stood up and crossed the plane. Taking a seat across from the leader, she looked at him intently. "How's Jack?"

Hotch looked surprised. "How did you know?" Emily just shrugged.

"I had a feeling." She listened as Aaron Hotchner told her about Jack's encounter with a bully at school, and tried to console the obviously concerned father. "You can show him he doesn't have to go through it alone." Hotch smiled faintly.

"How did you get by in Paris?" He asked, seeming to know that her advice was coming from some kind of personal experience. Emily paused, thinking back to all those nights alone in her Paris flat, the despair at thinking she would never see her team again, at being unable to communicate directly with even the people that knew she was alive, constant fear of Doyle discovering her, anger and impatience at being cooped up, unable to _do_ anything. How _did_ she survive being "dead"?

"I, umm…" Her eyes flicked up to the front of the plane where a certain blonde was picking the crumbs out of a bag of Cheetos. Emily couldn't help the smile that broke across her face. _Have __I __mentioned __how __adorable __that __woman __is?_ She thought to herself. "I played a lot of online Scrabble," she paused and looked back at Hotch, still wearing the JJ-induced grin. "With _some __girl_ named Cheeto-breath." Hotch turned to follow Emily's gaze, to JJ, still searching out the last bits of her snack. He smiled at Emily's impromptu name for the young agent, and Emily herself leaned back against her seat and let out a small laugh, still observing JJ move around the front of the plane. All those nights, afternoons, mornings, alone in her flat, with only a game to keep her connected to her old life. When JJ had walked away from that café after handing Emily the envelope, Emily had felt the reality of her loss. She knew she should be grateful to be alive, and she was…but she still couldn't help feeling like she had, in a sense, lost her life – all her friends, her family, her work. Later, back at her hotel room, she had opened the envelope and found the note scribbled onto a scrap of paper. _I __know __you __like __words. __We__'__ll __play. __RedSkinsFan01._ Emily had instantly recognized JJ's handwriting and had broken down in tears upon reading the note. She didn't even know JJ knew about her obsession with playing Scrabble online, and the gesture meant everything to her. It was actually amazing that they had managed to maintain that connection without Garcia finding out. Emily had a suspicion that the technical analyst knew everyone's business, and the fear that she would discover that Emily was alive was part of the reason Emily didn't try to directly engage JJ in conversation over the internet. But every time they played, Emily pictured JJ, across the ocean, sitting in her office, or curled up on her couch with her laptop…that faint connection with the world she used to belong to, and that woman she cared about deeply, had kept her sane. She hadn't told JJ how much those games meant to her. She wasn't sure she could put into words the emotions wrapped up in an online board game. It was like the cup of tea. JJ just seemed to know and respond to her needs. She made Emily feel safe, cared for. Emily was glad that it had been JJ and not anyone else who had been the other one to know she was alive. First of all, she wasn't sure she would have been able to handle thinking about JJ dealing with her "death." And Emily wasn't sure anyone else would have stuck that note in the sealed State Department envelope. She loved JJ for that.

At that moment JJ looked up, catching Emily staring at her. Emily smiled as JJ looked slightly confused, glancing behind her and back, as though to check and make sure the brunette was actually looking at her. She smiled innocently, and gave a small, orange-fingered wave before turning her attention back to her snack. In that split second, it was confirmed. Emily didn't have time to form coherent thoughts to fight against – she didn't need to. She sat there soaking in all that was JJ – the golden hair spilling over her shoulders, the crinkle on her forehead as she intently dug in the bag for the last bit of Cheeto, the form of her body, the softness of her skin that was visible from across the plane…it was the briefest moment, so intense a feeling that Prentiss couldn't have argued with it if she wanted to. And right then, she didn't want to. She knew, she had known: she loved that woman. She was _in__love_with that woman. And she closed her eyes and leaned back in her seat, basking in the knowledge of that truth. Whatever that meant, she put those thoughts aside for the time being and just held onto the thoughts of pure JJ, and the happiness that came with them.

...~.~...


	3. Chapter 3: From Childhood's Hour

Chapter 4: "From Childhood's Hour"

The team, minus Rossi, was sitting around the table in the conference room getting briefed by Garcia on a new case in St. Louis. Children were going missing, but it didn't seem like a case of pedophilia, or even one of those couples with fantasies about creating their own family. Emily wasn't quite sure what to make of the information in front of her and she was really craving some caffeine in that moment.

_Why did I give up drinking coffee again?_ Before she could remind herself of all the reasons she was healthier for having done so, David Rossi hurried into the room.

"I'm sorry I'm late! I got held up with some…things," Rossi huffed as he took the seat next to Emily. Rossi was never late, and the glowing look on his face said something was up.

_And I'm guessing it rhymes with schmomance,_ Emily thought as she looked around the table to see if her colleagues were catching the same vibe. She caught JJ's eye, and when the blonde raised her eyebrows suggestively, Emily suppressed a laugh and looked away.

_She's so damn cute._ Emily raised her eyes across the table to glance at JJ again. Her attention had turned raptly to Garcia, who had continued the briefing, and Emily couldn't help but get caught up in the blonde woman's features. The way her hair tumbled over her shoulders, the small crease that formed in the middle of her forehead when she was concentrating particularly hard…A small smile formed on Emily's face as her gaze travelled down and rested on JJ's hands, tapping her pen lightly on the table.

_Even her mannerisms are endearing._

Emily looked back up at the blonde's face, still smiling, and was caught off guard to see JJ's blue eyes looking right back at her. Their eyes met briefly and JJ flashed Em a smile and a wink before turning her attention back to Garcia.

_Oh. My. God._

Emily stared straight down in front of her, hoping it appeared that she was engrossed in the case file open on the table. _Did she see me staring at her? Watching her? Oh God. No, no, she couldn't have. Then she wouldn't have winked, right? What's with all the winking anyway? Seriously, doesn't she know what kind of message that sends?_ All the winking? Really Em? The other voice in Emily's head showed up to argue (as often happened when Emily's thoughts crossed into "Jennifer" territory). It was like one other time, over a week ago. That hardly qualifies as a lot of winking. _Right. But she's probably totally creeped out that I was looking at her, yeah? Oh my god I am so embarrassed! But then, if she was uncomfortable, she probably wouldn't have smiled. Or winked. So…_ Emily hated how lately she had been overanalyzing everything when it came to JJ. Every look, every interaction...

******** Flashback*********

_Two whole days off._ Emily was really looking forward to the break from work as she packed up her things. _Even serial killers need vacations, right?_ She was really hoping not to receive any case calls this weekend, as she had major weekend plans with her hot tub.

"Have a nice weekend guys," Hotch called down to the profilers as he passed the bullpen on his way to his office. "Get some rest!"

"Oh I am planning on doing more than that," Morgan laughed as he gave Reid a nudge and a wink.

"What…?" The young doctor looked confused at Derek's innuendo.

"I got dates, man! Hot women, just waiting for me to have a free night." Morgan raised his chin, looking supremely pleased with himself.

"Plural?" Reid's eyebrows went up. Emily rolled her eyes at her "player" of a coworker. _I do love you all, but I reeeeally need some time apart,_ she thought as she shut the last folder and dropped her pen into her bag.

"Well. That sounds fascinating. And…exciting. But I am out. Don't call me." She slung the bag over her shoulder and turned to leave, but the sight of an approaching blonde stopped her in her tracks. JJ had her coat folded over her arm and a broad grin on her face.

"Hey you guys ready to get outta here?" The young woman asked as she drew closer to the group.

_How does she look so perfect just like that?_ Emily couldn't help but smile at the mere sight of her coworker. When JJ's eyes met hers, the brunette's smile widened.

"Anyone wanna grab a quick bite? I'm starving," JJ asked, looking at the rest of the profilers.

Morgan shook his head. "Uh huh, my weekend is starting right now. Rain check though." He winked at Reid as her grabbed his jacket and headed out the door.

"Morgan has _dates,_" Reid told JJ, emphasizing the plurality of the last word. "And I'm game, if we can go to that diner on 3rd. They have amazing milkshakes."

"Sure, wherever has food," JJ laughed as she turned to Emily, reaching out and placing her hand lightly on the older agent's arm. "Em?"

"Um." Emily froze, caught off guard at the physical contact. _Don't move your arm, don't move closer she'll get freaked out, don't pull away she'll pull back too and might not touch you again._ Emily could not believe that her mind was behaving like a 13 year-old girl with a crush. _What is wrong with me?_

"Em," JJ repeated, closing her hand over the curve of Emily's forearm, and increasing the contact before Emily could decide on an appropriate response. "Food?" She looked inquisitively at Prentiss's face.

"Uh," Emily coughed, "Yeah! Ahem, sure. I could use some food." _And can't resist an opportunity to spend time with you._

"Great." JJ gave her a genuine smile and her arm a brief squeeze before letting it go. _Good god_, Emily took a deep breath and rubbing her arm where JJ's hand had been, she followed her coworkers out the door.

*******End Flashback******

Remembering the interaction, Emily still could not believe the effect that the younger woman had on her.

_You're not a teenager for Christ's sake. Act like an adult, please. And STOP STARING._ Emily's eyes had somehow wandered back across the table to JJ's hands. Taking a deep breath, she willed herself to focus and brought her mind back to the conversation happening around the table.

The little boy had been missing for 48 hours, Reid was reminding them. And if it was a case of a stranger abduction, the first 24 hours were the most critical. At this point, they were long past that.

"Which is why we shouldn't waste anymore time," Hotch said, addressing Reid's observation. "Let's go. Wheel's up in 10."

...

The case had been going slowly. It seemed like they had all this information about the children, their mothers, but were still only making minimal progress as far as catching up to the unsub. Emily had been primarily working with Rossi and they had just gotten off the phone with Garica. Emily sat back in her chair, trying to process the information Garcia had just given them, while Rossi stood staring out the window.

"A 911 operator would be why the kids trusted him. He must've gone back to do some sort of follow-up on his own, and they remembered his face," Emily spoke, trying to work through how the unsub could have gotten children to trust him enough to go with him. Rossi didn't respond, just stood with his back to Emily, staring out into the dark.

"Rossi?" Emily spoke after a few seconds of silence. "Did you hear me?"

The older man turned, and the slightly startled look on his face provided an answer.

"You know," she started, "Morgan and I were just joking around on the jet, but something is definitely up with you. Is there anything you want to share?" Emily asked, the concern evident in her voice.

"Eh it's nothing," Rossi looked like he was trying hard to shake "nothing" out of his head. Emily continued displaying her concern on her face, and after a moment he sighed and sat down. "I had breakfast with Caroline the other morning," he began.

"Wait…Caroline…" Emily tried to dig into her memory of Rossi to recall where this name fit. "Ohh, she's wife number…four or five?"

"Look, let's get our facts straight," Rossi said, slightly taken aback. "I only had three wives. That's within the realm of reasonable."

"Oh," Emily giggled slightly. "Sorry. Ahem, continue. Which one was she?"

"Number one." He paused for a moment, frowning slightly. "I don't know, I might be way off here, but I think she's putting some feelers out. To see if that old spark is still there. Or something."

"And is it?" Emily asked with anticipation. Rossi was a good friend, and though he had struggled with relationships in the past, Emily really wanted him to have happiness. Plus she loved a classic romantic story.

Dave shrugged. "I'm having her over to my house for dinner when we get back. I'm crazy, right?"

Emily thought for a moment, her face suddenly became more serious. "We don't always get second chances in life, Rossi," she said softly. "I say take the plunge. See where it goes." She gave her coworker a smile as he sighed and stood up.

"Yeah, we'll see."

As he walked away, the somberness returned to Emily's face. She couldn't help but be drawn into thinking of her own "second chance." Before she got that chance, she had been consumed with thoughts of JJ, the panic and despair at the thought of never seeing her again. Emily had cursed herself every day in Paris for not giving JJ that letter when she had the chance. The ache for her friend had throbbed in her heart constantly, and Emily had some not so fond memories of sitting in front of her computer screen, waiting for JJ to make a move on their Scrabble game, and sobbing at the loneliness for that blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman across the ocean.

After the first couple of weeks, she had spent her time convincing herself that JJ was happy – she was with Will, they had Henry, that it was actually a blessing in disguise that Emily had never said anything of her "feelings" to JJ.

_I mean honestly, what would she have said? It would have ruined our friendship and the dynamic of the team if I would ever have said anything before. And if I'd given her the letter, then what? She'd come running to Paris to sweep me off my feet and be with me, giving up Henry and Will? No, of course not._

Obviously Emily knew her silence was the right decision. It wasn't the same as Rossi's situation at all. Rossi's ex-wife actually seemed like she had feelings for him.

_You know JJ doesn't feel for you that way_, Emily reminded herself. _You know that. Don't kid yourself with romantic notions of unrequited love and happy endings_. She sighed. _But would it make me feel better if I told her? I mean, what if? She smiles at me, makes unnecessary physical contact, winks, brings me tea, we laugh together_…Yeah because you are FRIENDS! Emily, for the love of god, are you really willing to risk your friendship and basically try to tear apart a family because you're struggling with maybe having feelings for a friend? You're just confused! All this stuff you think is between you and JJ, isn't there! Which probably means you're just taking your appreciation for her support while you were away and blowing it out of proportion.

_I know I love her_.

Emily couldn't stop the thought. She knew the truth about her feelings, which also meant she knew that nothing would or could ever come of them. _I need to stop this. If I really love her that much, I need to be supportive of her as a friend. Plus, I'm not entirely sure I'd even want to be in a relationship with a woman. So I'm okay with this_. The last thought was hastily tagged on the stream to make herself feel better. It was true, Emily had never considered being in an actual romantic relationship with a woman. Sure, she'd slept with a few. _Only two_, she corrected herself. _Christine and Sofia_.

Sofia had been the best friend of Emily's college roommate. Since she spent a lot of time in their apartment, Emily had gotten to know her quite well. Emily had always thought Sofia was beautiful, and enjoyed her company, and one night when the two of them were alone things just…happened. They even happened more than once. But both girls had been content to keep the relationship behind closed doors, and centrally about sex. As least as far as was spoken explicitly.

_Not that it didn't break your heart when she started dating that Brian guy and ended things between you_. Emily was reminded what else she had said to Rossi: "There's always something about your first. In everything."

With Christine, things had been different. Emily was in her major "party" stage, and Christine was an out-and-proud lesbian. When they got together, everyone knew. She barely knew Christine, and their multiple encounters were of the "it's late and I'm lonely" variety. It wasn't that Emily was "substituting" for a guy, she genuinely enjoyed sex with Christine. And that was when Emily had decided that she didn't like that you had to choose a label for your sexuality. She never lied about having been with women, but at the same time she didn't feel the need to walk around with a sign that said "Kinsey 3" on her chest. And after things with Christine ended when Emily had started seeing Jonathan, she hadn't pursued another opportunity to be with a woman. She was pretty sure her mother wouldn't be too pleased if she came home and announced she was starting a family with a "Mrs. Emily Prentiss." Call it closed-minded, but if Emily pictured her future with a spouse and kids (and sometimes she didn't even see that), it was the traditional version: husband, wife, 2 kids.

_But with JJ_, she interjected on her own reflections, _you've always had a different kind of feeling_. She rolled her eyes at her own inability to let this JJ thing go, but couldn't help remembering an exchange that occurred between them a few years ago.

It was after the case in Denver, where two foster brothers were making their way into homes and murdering entire families. One killed the parents, brutally, and the other killed the children by some kind of lethal injection. But Carrie had survived. Emily had been so attached to that girl, just in the few days they were working the case. And her affinity for the young girl had gotten her thinking about being a mom. It wasn't something she thought about often, her experience with her own mother hadn't exactly cultivated the nurturing parent side of her, but on the jet back to Quantico JJ had said something that had struck her.

*******Flashback*********

"They're good people."

"Hm?" Emily looked up at the blonde woman sitting across from her, still half immersed in her thoughts.

"The family. They're good people."

"Mm." Emily nodded and turned back to the window, losing herself in her own world again.

"I think it's a good idea though." Emily glanced back at JJ, who was looking at her intently. "You, kids. I can see it." Emily had stared for a second at the woman, who was biting her fingernail and peering at her through clear blue eyes. She inclined her head and smiled back at JJ.

"Yeah?"

JJ nodded, lowering her hand. "Yeah." A small smile played at her lips and Emily couldn't help but look at her with affection. She had been surprised that JJ had made such an observation, but took an immense amount of joy that her friend could see her as parent.

*******End flashback********

Emily wasn't sure why the fact that JJ could see her with children mattered so much to her. But it did. _You're doing it again. Pretending there's something between you that could possibly BE something someday. You decided to stop, remember?_ Emily got up from the chair where Rossi had left her, and went to find some tea and some food. She really needed to get her head back in this case. _Back in real life, more like it_.

...

Walking into the break room, Emily saw JJ. She was standing with her back to the doorway, drumming her fingers on top of the microwave while she waited for whatever she was heating to finish. Emily fought herself, and hard, from letting her eyes wander all over the figure of the young woman before her.

"Hey, looks like we had the same idea."

JJ turned and her face broke into a wide grin upon seeing her colleague. "Hey, there you are! I was just putting together a cup of tea for you!" she indicated to the humming microwave. "I thought maybe you could use a pick-me-up, even if you've kicked the caffeine habit." Despite all her earlier decisions, Emily couldn't help but smile at the blonde's affectionate tone.

"You are a wonderful person," Emily sighed as she rested against the counter beside her friend. "That is exactly something I could use." JJ held Emily's gaze for a moment and returned her smile.

"Good. Here." She removed the St. Louis Police Department mug and handed it to Prentiss before reaching to pour herself a cup of coffee. "I don't have your strength in resistance when it comes to this stuff," JJ said as she mixed in quite a few packets of sugar.

"It took some time, but I've always had a taste for tea, and they make some really good ones without caffeine!"

"I'm sure, but it's the caffeine I need," JJ stressed, turning and leaning back against the counter as she stirred her coffee.

"I understand that, "Emily answered, taking a sip of her tea. A few seconds passed by in silence and Emily studied her coworker. JJ did look tired, and more so than usual.

"How are you holding up?" She asked. She assumed this case couldn't be easy for JJ, with children being taken from their parents, and Emily knew she had been the one to question Marlene Smith before she was killed. JJ seemed to look intently at her coffee for a second before looking over at Emily.

"Good," she said, making a visible effort to brighten her voice. "I'm just tired." She looked quickly back to the beverage in her hand.

"Hmm." Emily nodded. Something else seemed to be on her friend's mind, but she wasn't sure how far she could push it. Before she had a chance to try, JJ tossed her stir stick in the trash and headed for the door.

"Better get back out there. Hotch said he was expecting a call from Garcia." Emily took a deep breath and followed JJ back to the rest of the team.

...

The case was over. It had turned out relatively well. _A look body count anyway_, Emily thought as she walked with her coworkers out of the office for the night. They were all laughing at Reid and his adorable naivety about women.

"What about ten pairs of shoes? That's enough, right? Ten?" Reid could not comprehend women and their affinity for shoes, a lesson he had learned that week while working with Morgan.

"Ohh Spence," JJ laughed. "It's different with the ladies. We need shoes to match our belts, our handbags, our skirts…and fashions change with the seasons." Walking behind JJ, Emily tried very hard not to notice that when she had said "skirts," the blonde's hand had wandered back to her perfectly formed –

"Yeah!" Garcia's voice snapped Emily's mind back to the present and her eyes upward a few feet. "Boys are so boring," the technical analyst continued. "Pants, shoes, out the door."

"Although it's not like men don't have their things," Emily interjected as the group approached the elevator. "I dated a golfer once, he had twelve putters in his closet." Her eyes met JJ's for a brief second before the blonde turned away.

_Did she just look uncomfortable because I talked about someone I dated?_ Something inside Emily was smiling and dancing with hope. _Shut up_ , she tried to ignore it and continued, but took note that JJ remained intently watching the numbers change above the elevator.

"But this conversation is reminding me I need new boots." At the mention of the footwear, JJ turned back and shot a lopsided smile at Emily, pointing at her as if to agree.

"Oh they're having a sale at DeMilles on those tall kitty heels, you like those! Do you wanna go?" Penelope seemed thoroughly excited at the prospect of shoe shopping.

"Sure!" Emily shrugged as they all trailed into the elevator. She really did need new boots. _Opportunity: convince JJ to go too._

"Jayj?" Penelope was all over it.

"Depends when," the blonde answered. She definitely seemed distracted. "Right now all I can think about is soaking up as much time as possible with a certain blue-eyed three-year-old."

"Oh bring him!" Garcia exclaimed. "It's never too early to teach a man the art of shoe shopping," she gestured at Reid. "It's something I feel is my duty as godmother."

JJ smiled at Garcia. "We'll see." She turned her attention back to the changing numbers as they descended. Emily looked intently at JJ's face, as the smile faded and it was obvious something was weighing heavily on her mind.

"Well, Em and I will scope out the deals for you then," Garcia said turned to Emily and squeezing her arm excitedly. "Tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yeah," Emily smiled back at her enthusiastic friend, still watching JJ out of the corner of her eye.

"You all enjoy that," Morgan said as they crossed the parking lot to their vehicles. I'll see you Monday, wearing the same pair of shoes I got on now." As they all laughed and waved good-bye, Emily caught up with JJ before she got into her car.

"Hey, Jayj" she said quietly, reaching out and brushing the young woman's arm. "Is everything ok?"

"What? Yeah," JJ looked briefly at Emily before opening her car door. Emily wasn't convinced.

"Are you sure? You've seemed pretty distracted…if there's anything you want to talk about, I'd be more than happy to listen…" JJ's blue eyes met Emily's and seemed to be considering for a second.

"Thanks Em," she said. "Really though. I'm just tired. And I miss my little boy." JJ turned away from Emily's gaze and climbed into her car. Emily was unconvinced, and stood for a moment, while JJ adjusted her seat. Once settled, the blonde looked up at Prentiss, still standing beside her car. She raised her eyebrows.

"Okay?"

"Yeah," Emily blinked out of her intent study of JJ's face. "Yeah, but you know, if you need anything…I'm here."

"Yes. I appreciate that. Now go get some rest."

"'Kay." Emily gave her friend a smile. "Good night JJ. Drive safe." Emily turned and walked to her own car, feeling slightly disappointed. She knew something was up with JJ, and she wanted her colleague to be able to trust her. She was also disappointed JJ wouldn't be coming shopping with her and Penelope the next afternoon. Though Emily had resolved to be mature and focus on being a supportive friend, she couldn't help feeling that infatuated 14-year-old inside her pouting about having to wait until Monday to lay eyes on JJ again.

...~...~...


	4. Chapter 4: Epilogue

Chapter 4: "Epilogue"

Monday morning came faster than expected, and Emily was glad for it. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy the break from work, reprieve from chasing around the scum of the earth and witnessing all the damage they left in their wake. It was just…well…

_Monday means JJ._

Mondays had come to mean getting to be around her entire BAU family, and Emily treasured every minute of that. Her forced separation in Paris had made her ever grateful for the days she spent with her team members. It also didn't hurt that seeing JJ had the consistent effect of making her day.

So here she was, Monday morning, sitting at her desk, fighting the constant urge to look over her shoulder every time the double glass doors swung open to see if a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed agent had arrived.

After the fourth or fifth – IOk sixth or seventh/I – time or whipping around to see some random field agent walking through the door, Emily was getting annoyed with herself and resolved to ignore the next time the door opened, no matter what.

_Fail._

The sound of the door and approaching steps ruined Emily's half-hearted determination and she looked up to see Spencer Reid approaching.

"Good morning Emily," the young man greeted her as he reached his desk adjacent to hers.

"Hey Reid." She gave him a tired smile. He wasn't JJ, but she was happy to see him nonetheless. "Did you have a nice weekend?" Emily anticipated his response with amusement, always prepared to be surprised at the young genius's description of his weekend activities.

Before she could begin to hear Reid's response however, the glass doors were pushed open once more and the object of Emily's affection was ushered though before a laughing Derek Morgan.

"Maybe he just takes after his mama," Derek was saying to JJ as they made their way to the cluster of desks.

"Yeah, well, Will's really hoping for a football star, so we'll see," JJ replied over her shoulder before turning to give the two awaiting agents a broad smile. Emily immediately broke into a wide grin of her own upon meeting the eyes of her friend.

_I knew I loved Mondays_, Emily thought happily, taking in the sight of JJ for as long as she could without feeling like she was obviously staring.

"If you're talking about Henry, I told you he's going to be a genius like his godparents," Penelope Garcia called the comment out as she bustled past the group of profilers.

"Agreed," Reid piped up, not moving his eyes from the open file in his hands.

"Now who says he can't have it all?" Morgan turned from Spencer to JJ inquisitively.

"He does have the genes," Emily muttered, mostly to herself, as she spun her chair back around to face her desk.

"Exactly! Just like his mama," Morgan concluded triumphantly, nudging JJ's arm.

"Oh please you guys," the blonde laughed and headed straight for the coffee maker to start her morning.

…

The morning was passing by slowly, and work was going even slower. It was at about 11 o'clock when Emily found herself with some company.

"Hey Em."

She looked up from the report she was writing and saw JJ perching herself on the edge of Emily's desk. The look on the blonde's face indicated that she too, was suffering from the tediousness of the day, and her tone implied that she was looking for something to occupy her time.

"Hey yourself Jayj," Emily laughed, amused at JJ's boredom-induced fidgety, childlike demeanor. "Bored, I take it?"

"Something like that." With those words the young woman had hoisted herself fully onto Emily's desk, her feet leaving the floor, and crossed her legs.

Emily's jaw nearly hit the floor at the movement. _Those legs. Those LEGS._ Emily had had to exercise some serious self-control to stop from reaching out and touching the bare skin before her that she was _sure_ would be irresistibly soft.

_Why does she insist on torturing me like this?_ Emily lamented internally. She couldn't help but stare. Smooth, long, obviously athletic…Emily's eyes ran up to JJ's hip, her skirt hiding the skin of her perfect thighs. It didn't stop Emily's eyes from lingering on the fabric that hugged the toned upper leg, imagining the flesh beneath.

_Whoa. You need to stop. Now._

Emily quickly tore her eyes away from her coworker's figure, glancing quickly at JJ's face before turning back to her desk. Thankfully, JJ had been too preoccupied with the chipped wood on the edge of the desk to notice Emily's blatant ogling. She thought she'd seen a small smile playing at the edges of JJ's mouth though, and wasn't quite sure what to make of that.

_How about nothing?_ The voice inside her head answered for her. Nodding in resolved agreement with that little voice, Emily still couldn't help but feel like JJ was teasing her with the display of skin.

"Well, distractions are welcome," Emily smiled as she put away the folder she'd been looking over. She surely wouldn't be getting anything done with JJ's legs sitting next to her. "This paperwork is killing me."

"Exactly," the blonde said, drumming her fingers on the desk. "So entertain me." She flashed an innocent smile, blinking expectantly at her coworker.

_She is so flirting._ Emily just grinned broadly again at JJ's childish demand.

"Oh, that's my responsibility?" Against her better judgment Emily allowed herself to return JJ's flirtatious tone. Probably because her better judgment was busy pulling her mind out of the gutter, where it had pursued the many ideas for entertainment that were definitely _not_ childlike.

"Oh, I got some new shoes this weekend!" Emily suddenly remembered, very excited about the new boots she and Garcia had discovered while shopping. "What do you think?" She pulled up her pant leg to show JJ her purchase.

"Nice," the blonde said as she leaned over to see. Her golden hair tumbled down, veiling her face. She tucked it back behind her ear, but a few strands immediately fell again, brushing against her cheek. As always, Emily was mesmerized by JJ's hair, and her movements, and her bone structure…_and her legs._

"Was it a good sale?" JJ's voice saved Emily from losing her mind once again to thoughts of those legs.

"Yeah, not too bad." Emily looked back up at her blue-eyed coworker and smiled as she settled back into her chair. "Garcia got some bright orange heels. You should see them." Speaking of Garcia, a flash of orange had caught her eye and Emily looked up to see the technical analyst in Hotch's office. Seeing the distraction, JJ turned, following Emily's eyes to the unit chief engaged in intense conversation with Penelope.

"ISo/I don't miss that look," JJ sighed.

Emily had that foreboding feeling that they were about to get rounded up for a case. _So much for a light week_, she thought.

"No matter how many cases we solve, there are always more," JJ had continued somberly.

Emily nodded, understanding that the blonde knew better than she about the volume of cases that came to the BAU.

"Insert Dr. Reid statistic about the number of serial killers at any given time here," Emily pointed in the direction of Reid's desk, feeling that this was the time when he would normally chime in with some way to quantify what had just been said.

"Reid?" Emily spoke again when her comment received nothing but silence. Looking over she saw Spencer concentrating on something across the bullpen.

"Yooohooo, Spee-eencer," JJ whistled, joining Emily's attempts to obtain the doctor's attention. Reid simply raised a finger to silence the two women.

"Something's wrong," he said, not removing his eyes from whatever he was so engrossed in watching across the room. Turning, Emily saw that he was referring to Rossi, who was seated a few yards away, reading a newspaper.

"What makes you say that?" JJ had also turned to watch their colleague.

"He's been reading the same page for 16 minutes and 24 seconds," Reid stated, glancing at his watch.

"Maybe it's a really good article," Emily suggested, tilting her head trying to get a better look at Rossi's face.

"No, it never takes him longer than 11 minutes 17 seconds to read a page." Emily blinked, taken aback at the young doctor's statement. _Who knows that about a person?_

"Wait, you time how long it takes," Emily began in disbelief, looking up at JJ for back up, but JJ's raised eyebrows and "let it go" look stopped Emily's question in its tracks. "Ahem. Right," She nodded, turning back to look at Rossi. "So, what's your theory?"

"I'm extrapolating probabilities as we speak." Reid said has he had already begun to move across the room towards the older man. Emily exchanged a look with JJ, who was moving to follow Reid. Deciding she wanted to know what was going on as well, Emily followed, also not missing the opportunity to view JJ's legs fully extended. _And her gorgeous…figure._ Emily couldn't stop herself from raking in the full form of her colleague as she stepped in front of her.

As the three agents approached Rossi, Morgan entered the office and cut them off. "Hey, Rossi," he called, rousing the reading man from whatever had been holding his attention for over 16 minutes.

"Do you think you could help me with a consult?" Rossi looked up, looking evidently startled, obviously having been shook out of deep thought, and not simply reading.

"Now that I noticed," JJ said, referencing at Rossi's face as she, Prentiss and Reid reached the older agent. He just frowned at her.

"Something going on?" Morgan asked, furrowing his brow in concern at the exhausted look on his coworker's face.

"Hey, how did it go the other night?" Emily asked, remembering their conversation the previous week about his ex-wife.

"What happened the other night?" Morgan looked from Emily back to Dave.

"Are you ok?" Spence interjected before Rossi had a time to address any of the questions aimed at him.

The older agent scoffed slightly, looking at the agents surrounding him. "Why wouldn't I be?"

JJ glanced back at Emily, who returned her skeptical look. Internally, Emily was rejoicing at every time those clear blue eyes found hers. "You…seem distracted," JJ said hesitantly, turning back to Dave.

"I'm," he paused for a second. "Considering a purchase…"

It was quite apparent to Emily (and the rest of the profiler crowd she was sure) that this was not in fact what Rossi had been mulling over for the past 16 minutes and 24 seconds.

"Ok what's really going on?" Morgan continued to frown at his older colleague.

"Look," Rossi said, sighing and taking a sip of his coffee cup. "It was a late night with Ringo. I mean, the guy's a world-class drummer, but don't think I didn't wipe the floor with him in Rock Band."

Again, JJ turned to look at Emily. "What do you think?" Those blue eyes pierced Emily's own.

_That your eyes are incredible._

"I don't know," Emily spoke, keeping her original thought to herself and looking back at Dave. "He could be telling the truth…I only played him to the easy level." JJ laughed at Emily's attempted humor, her blue eyes sparkling at her friend before turning back to Dave.

_She thinks I'm funny._ Emily had been feeling particularly closer to JJ since she'd returned. It always seemed like Jayj had been making an effort to be around her more at work, they laughed more together, it was like they understood each other in a deeper way through all those online Scrabble games. _That doesn't really make any sense_, Emily thought, but it didn't change the way she felt about her relationship with the blonde.

"I can't tell," Spencer's voice pierced Emily's thoughts as he studied Rossi intently. It was almost amusing to watch profiler's try to read each other, adept at both perceiving and hiding facial expressions.

"And you never will," Rossi joked, smiling at the young genius. The groups started to laugh, but the humor was short-lived as Hotch's called them to the conference room to begin briefing the new case.

…

The new case was in California, where three bodies had turned up in Ridge Canyon Lake an Angelus National Forest, which, as Reid had informed them, was 1,016 square miles of terrain. One young man was missing, somewhere in that expanse of land, and Prentiss had the feeling things weren't going to end well for this particular young man.

After Hotch had informed them they would be leaving in 20 minutes, Emily had returned to her desk to straighten up and check her go bag before heading to the jet.

"Why do I get the feeling we're about to start a wild goose chase?" JJ had appeared at the edge of Prentiss's desk with her duffel bag in hand. The young blonde had been popping up around her lately, and Emily did not mind one bit.

_Don't read into it Prentiss, really._ The exasperated and thoroughly annoying voice of reason spoke its piece before Emily's imagination could run off into JJ-is-longing-to-be-near-me territory. Even still, the brunette couldn't help the smile from fighting its way out upon hearing JJ's voice lingering next to her.

"Yeah, all that space, tracking down someone who knows the area is going to be difficult," Emily replied, looking up to meet JJ's gaze. _Oh I could never see enough of those eyes._

At the moment their eyes met, JJ tilted her head and smiled broadly at her coworker. It was like she could read Emily's mind, as her eyes seemed to increase their sparkle with a teasing intensity.

"What?" Emily asked unable to contain her own grin, but curious as to what about her response had evoked such a look from the blonde. JJ's look lingered for a moment before she averted her eyes, looking somewhat embarrassed.

"Hem, nothing," she coughed, clearing her throat and picking at the chipped edge of Prentiss's desk that had so occupied her attention earlier.

"Mkay," Emily nodded suspiciously, still looking at the young profiler. _She is so flirting again._ Silence from the Voice of Reason only made Emily's heart beat faster.

"Ready to hit it?" Morgan had appeared from somewhere Emily didn't care. She remained watching JJ for a moment, who looked up briefly to meet her gaze. The two exchanged a quick smile, some kind of mutual acknowledgement that something unspoken and unnamed was passing between them. The exchange did not go unnoticed by Derek, who glanced from Prentiss to JJ and back to his partner with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah!" JJ said, with sudden enthusiasm, taking a step back from Emily's desk and turning towards Morgan. "Ready."

Zipping her go bag and shaking her head at herself, Emily just grinned as her heart ran away without hesitation. As she followed her coworkers out of the office, she knew that later she'd have to be, painfully, reigning herself back into "friendship territory," for now her heart could not be distracted from that spark behind those blue eyes.

…

The plane ride to California was full-on profile mode, as the team wasted no time going over information and discussing ideas to build a profile. Midway across the country, Penelope phoned in to inform them that the missing young man's body had turned up at a new site, 20 miles away from the lake where the other bodies were found.

"So the unsub changed his dumpsite," Hotch stated in response to the new information.

"And his victimology," Emily held up her tablet, displaying pictures of all four victims. "Look at Nick Skirvin compared to the previous three," she said, indicating to the dark hair and strong build of the first trio of victims and Nick's differing stature and hair color. JJ watched her colleague intently, focusing on the photographs of the victims and definitely Inot/I noticing the way her lips moved when she spoke, or the curve of her hand as she pointed to the display.

Suddenly realizing that she was indeed lost in thoughts of Emily-ness, JJ looked away and smiled into her coffee as she took a sip. Simply being around that woman brought her comfort.

Returning her focus to the case, JJ looked up as Morgan spoke. "Or he's trying to shake us. By moving to another lake, he just doubled the size of his killing field."

"And our search area," JJ chimed in. Emily looked up at her and the words "wild goose chase" seemed to be flashing across both of their minds.

…

Upon arriving in California, Hotch sent Emily and Reid to the morgue to hear the medical examiner's report on the victims. Apparently, the unsub was drowning, then attempting to perform CPR to resuscitate them.

Emily was driving them back to the field office, absorbed in thoughts about why the unsub would be trying to kill and resuscitate his victims multiple times.

"She liked you, you know." Reid spoke, interrupting the agent's processing.

"What? Who?" Emily glanced at her young colleague before returning her eyes to the road.

"The M.E. She practically only spoke to you, even when I asked a question. And she watched your face, even when you were indicating to the x-rays."

"Wait," Emily laughed. "What?" Emily found the idea that Reid would be able to tell if anyone was interested in anyone humorous, and told him so.

"Well yes, normally I'd agree with you, but I've been thinking about ever since we walked out of the morgue, and it's the only logical explanation I can come up with to explain her behavior. Normally, a person would follow your line of sight to, say, the x-rays, when you reference them and you yourself turn to look. But she didn't. Plus she hardly looked at me twice and seemed to be observing you, not just listening to you speak."

"Huh," Emily scoffed as she pulled the SUV into the field office parking lot. "So do you profile everyone you meet?"

"You don't?" The young doctor asked in earnest.

Emily laughed and ducked her head as she parked the vehicle, unable to categorically deny Reid's assertion. "Maybe not medical examiners," she said in an attempt to defend herself.

"Hm." Reid raised his eyebrows in interest as they climbed out of the car and walked into the office. "Pay attention if we go back there. I'm right and I'm going to need back up when I tell Morgan."

"Oh you are not telling Derek," Emily said, shooting Reid a threatening look.

"Not telling Derek what?" JJ apparently had overheard Emily's comment as she rounded the corner and came down the hallway behind the two agents.

"That the medical examiner," Reid paused. "How would Morgan say it? She has a 'thing' for Emily. Is that right?"

"It's not right because she does not have any_thing_ for me," Emily rolled her eyes and fought off her embarrassment that this subject was being discussed in front of JJ. As far as she knew, none of her coworkers knew she'd ever been with women romantically, and she was certainly not admitting that in front of JJ right now.

_Yeah, considering you're in love with her. _Emily huffed and rolled her eyes again, this time at her own ridiculousness.

"Oohh Emilyyy," JJ teased, falling into step beside the brunette. "She? Could it be that you have a way with the _ladies_?" Emily felt JJ's elbow nudge her ribs and laughed.

_If only I could get it to work on one particular lady_, Prentiss thought, relishing the physical contact with blonde. "No," she answered definitively. "Reid's just…_over-profiling._" She shot Spencer another look.

"Just wait until she asks for your phone number," Reid said confidently as the trio continued into the conference room area to meet the rest of the team.

"Or mails me her business card with lipstick on the back?" Emily replied, referencing the time Spencer had received such an item from a bartender they met on a case.

"How did you…" Reid looked surprised that Emily had known of the card, and stared in awe as she shrugged smugly and walked past him to join the other members of the team already gathered around the evidence board.

JJ laughed at the exchange and nodded at Emily. "Nice." The brunette took the opportunity to wink at her friend who - _or did I imagine it?_ – blushed slightly at the gesture. Either way, Emily was greatly enjoying the flirtatious mood that seemed to be persisting between the two of them lately.

…

The next day, Reid and Emily were sent back to the M.E.'s office when another body turned up. The rest of the team stayed to deliver the profile, and Emily couldn't help but wish she had been part of that group because the whole time at the morgue she felt Reid watching her and fighting off smiles. She would never admit it to him, but the M.E. did seem to be paying particular attention to her. However, thankfully, there was no awkward offering of personal phone numbers.

Returning to the field office, Emily had found Rossi sitting in a closed office, obviously preoccupied with something that wasn't the case. When he had told her about his conversation with Caroline, Emily's heart broke for him. She could understand Caroline's wanting to end her life on her own terms, but could not imagine being in Rossi's position.

"Rossi," Emily began, not sure of what to say but genuinely concerned for her friend. "It's ok," he stopped her, taking a deep breath and standing up.

"I appreciate your concern. But our interview is here." He indicated through the open door behind Emily, where the mother of Jake Shepherd, the first victim, was approaching, escorted by a local cop. Emily watched as Rossi changed into work mode, and she followed suit, standing to greet the woman they were to be interviewing.

…

After the interview, Rossi and Prentiss joined the rest of the team to discuss what they had learned concerning Jake Shepherd's near death experience.

"If this unsub is so obsessed with death, then Jake Shepherd was the perfect person to talk to," Hotch said, his arms folded as he stared down at pictures of the victim.

"But come on guys," Morgan interjected, laughing half-heartedly. "Gentle lights, shadowy figures, those are the lights in the emergency room and the doctors hovering over the patients. I mean, we all know that. No one actually sees the 'afterlife.'"

Emily glanced down at her hands, rolling her pencil between them. She was trying not to think of her own experience with death when Reid spoke up.

"I did." All heads at the table turned to the young doctor. "Before Tobias Hankel resuscitated me, I had that exact experience. And I wasn't in an emergency room. I was in a shed."

"Reid, you never told me that." Morgan looked at the young man closely.

"I'm a man of science," Reid answered hesitantly. "I-I didn't know how to deal with it. There's no quantifiable proof that God exists, and yet in that moment I was faced with something that I couldn't explain. Still can't."

Reid sharing his experience only made Emily feel worse about her own. She looked back down at the writing utensil in her hands, starting to understand exactly what the unsub was doing.

"What if this unsub has had a similar experience and is looking for answers," Hotch suggested.

"If that's the case, why kill Jake Shepherd?" Rossi started, shaking his head. "Why not just talk to him?"

Emily knew she had to speak.

"He wanted to see if he had the same experience as before," she began slowly, staring at the air in front of her.

"Once isn't enough?" JJ asked, leaning forward. Emily felt the blonde's eyes examining her face.

"Not if Jake didn't see the same thing the unsub did," she answered, meeting JJ's gaze for a moment. "He wants to know," she continued carefully, "if the experience can change. I can relate to that." _There. It's out there. Don't make me elaborate._

JJ looked surprised and her eyes stayed locked on Emily's, as the rest of the team turned to watch the brunette, much like they had when Spencer spoke up. Seeing everyone looking at her, she knew she wasn't going to get out of this without explaining.

"Reid felt a warmth and saw a light," Emily started, not daring to look up until she spoke the difficult part aloud. "When I coded in the ambulance, all I felt was…cold and darkness." She raised her eyes across the table to see her coworkers' looks of shock and concern.

"And I would like to think that there's a different future waiting for me," she finished quickly taking a deep breath. She stole a quick glance at JJ, whose blue eyes burned with emotion. Emily recognized the blazing look, it was almost the same way JJ had looked at her when they said goodbye in Paris. Concern, some kind of anguish, and full of unspoken words, the choice of which Emily could only guess.

Not daring to hold JJ's intense gaze for too long, Emily moved her eyes across the table and fell upon Reid, who was looking at her with a pained expression.

"You actually died?" he asked, as though this information changed how he processed her absence and return. Taking a deep breath, Emily could only return Reid's look before Morgan spoke, bringing the team back to the case.

"Alright, but resuscitation is hit or miss. He can't guarantee that he can actually bring anyone back."

"Reid," Rossi spoke, drawing away the doctor's lingering attention on Prentiss. "What's the best way to ensure that his victims had an experience?"

Spencer thought for a moment before concluding, "Keep them dead longer."

…

For the rest of the case, when they went out to the lake to get the unsub and made the arrest (after having to resuscitate him when he tried to kill himself), Emily had been all business. She didn't like the vulnerability she'd felt sitting at the table with all her coworkers looking pained at her experience of the afterlife. And JJ looking like she was about to cry was not something that Emily wanted to see again, although the emotion conveyed was touching.

On the jet back to Quantico, Emily was trying to nap when she heard someone take the seat across from her. She resisted opening her eyes, hoping whoever it was would take the hint and go away, but the loud crackling noise and crunching prompted her to open her eyes in annoyance. The annoyance immediately dissipated, however, when she saw the source of the racket.

"Cheetos, huh?" Emily said, tilting her head and giving the young blonde across from her a soft smile. JJ returned the look with a sheepish grin and licked her orange-covered fingers.

"I can't help it! I'm addicted." Emily closed her eyes briefly and laughed, trying desperately to continue breathing normally after the sight of the woman licking her fingers.

_Good God she has no idea how crazy she makes me._

"I supposed there are worse things to be addicted to," she conceded, opening her eyes and looking back at JJ, who nodded in agreement before polishing off the contents of the bag. _So fucking adorable. I can't even stand it._ Emily could do nothing but stare at the beautiful woman and smile.

"So," JJ began, looking up from the empty bag to see Emily smiling at her. "What?" the blonde woman smiled hesitantly and glanced around, evidently confused as to the cause of the brunette's grin.

Emily just shook her head. "Nothing. Just you and the Cheetos. What were you going to say?"

JJ's smile faltered a bit, and her light blue eyes grew dark with concern. "Em," she said, placing her hands on the table between them and leaning in slightly. "You didn't tell me about…" the younger woman hesitated, looking slightly uncertain. "About when you coded."

Emily sighed and looked down to study her own hands. _What was I supposed to do? Tell you during our five-minute conversation in that café in Paris? Spell it out on a Scrabble board? Besides, I had a whole lot of other stuff on my list of things to tell you besides my new fears about death._

"Jayj," Emily looked back up at her coworker. "It wasn't that big of a deal. I never really had anything to say about it." JJ continued to look at her with evident care and concern and pain and a whole mix of emotions Emily couldn't bear to see brimming in those azure eyes.

"Look," she sighed, reaching out across the table and covering JJ's hands with her own. "Yeah, I didn't see the most comforting thing,"

JJ laughed humorlessly.

"But, I really don't spend my time worrying about it," Emily continued. "It's like Hotch said, we don't get to know what happens when we die, and I'm not convinced what I experienced in that ambulance is the real end. It's pointless to dwell on, so I'm just trying to live my second chance as fully as I can." She squeezed JJ's hands. "Okay?"

The blonde smiled. "Okay. But," she leaned further across the table toward the older agent who was becoming more aware of the physical contact as JJ's movement caused the scent of her perfume to reach Emily's nose. "If you ever want to talk about it, you know I'm here, yeah?"

Emily was totally lost in JJ's essence at that moment. Her brown eyes were locked with JJ's, which were darkened with a deep sincerity. The faint vanilla scent was intoxicating and strands of blonde had tumbled off JJ's shoulder as she leaned forward. Her hands were warm and incredibly soft and becoming aware of all these things at once, Emily was sure her own heartbeat was visible through her shirt.

_I__s there a word for the color of her hair?_ The thought appeared in Emily's head as she noticed it matched the glow of the sunlight coming through the window of the plane. _"Blonde" just doesn't do it justice. There must be another word for hair that contains the rays of the sun._

"Em? Okay?" Emily snapped out of her daze at the sound of JJ's voice.

"Yeah! Of course," the brunette answered sincerely, giving the blonde (_I am going to have to come up with a better word_) a reassuring smile and squeezing her hands once more before quickly letting go.

"Good," JJ returned the smile and leaned against the side of the plane, resting her head against the window. The two women smiled at one another for a minute before Emily closed her eyes, intending to return to her nap and hoping to dream of soft skin and sun-soaked hair.

"Hey wait," JJ said suddenly sitting up and causing Emily to open her eyes again. "Was Spencer right about the M.E.? Did she give you her number?"

"Ha ha," Emily said sarcastically at the twinkle in her young friend's eyes. "No. She did not."

"Oh, ok," JJ sat back against her seat once more. "Disappointed?" She teased, raising an eyebrow.

"Heartbroken," Emily replied in an exaggerated voice, shaking her head and doing her best to look somber for a moment.

JJ stood up with a laugh. "You'll recover I'm sure," she said as she moved past the brunette, pausing to give Emily's shoulder a squeeze, and lay a quick kiss on the top of her head. "Need some more Cheetos," the blonde explained as she made her way to cabinets at the front of the plane.

"Mmm," Emily smiled, absolutely treasuring the affection expressed by the younger profiler. The gesture was so natural and simple and conveyed so much about the closeness of the two women. Emily just loved the past two days. _Okay, not the unsub and the parts where people died,_ she thought, but the way her and JJ had interacted over the past couple of days made all the work worth it. She couldn't help but smile to herself as she turned to look out the window. Emily also couldn't help but notice that the sky passing by seemed to be a particular familiar shade of blue.

...~...~...


	5. Chapter 5: There's No Place Like Home

**A/N: Thank you everyone for the reviews! I'm glad you all are enjoying the story so far. A BIG thanks to Zuzana, without whom I would be most discouraged.

Chapter 6: "There's No Place Like Home"

Emily sighed, hoisting her go-bag higher on her shoulder as she pushed through the doors into the BAU. She had been out with a few old friends from college when she received a text from Garcia calling her into work. Apparently a couple bodies of missing teenagers had turned up in the aftermath of tornadoes in Kansas.

_Such __is __the __life __of __a __profiler,_ Emily thought as she regretted having to leave her friends before the night was over.

"Looks like your evening plans were interrupted too," Morgan looked up as Prentiss entered the roundtable room, slightly more dressed up than usual. She gave Derek a sympathetic smile, sure that her coworker had been in the company of one or more attractive women when Garcia sent the text. Emily looked around the table as she sat down, and saw that JJ was still missing, but Garcia clicked her remote and started the briefing anyway.

Not two minutes later, JJ rushed in.

"Sorry," the blonde said grabbing the nearest empty seat. "Henry isn't feeling well." Hotch nodded and indicated to Garcia to continue her presentation. Emily looked at JJ, seeing the lines of exhaustion etched on her face. Their eyes met and JJ gave the brunette a small nod before turning her attention to the file in front of her.

It wasn't clear from the evidence whether the mangling of the victims' bodies was caused by the unsub or by the storms, but either way, Emily felt slightly uneasy about going into an area devastated by storms.

"Wheel's up in thirty," Hotch told them, and before they could leave the table Garcia threw in a warning.

"Pack for foul weather because the forecast is _nasty._"

"Awesome, hunting a murderer in the middle of killer tornadoes," Emily muttered. She was not scared of many things, but giant funnels of wind that could rip whole cities to shreds were not her favorite natural phenomena.

…

On the jet, Hotch gathered the team (which really meant waking up a sleeping Morgan) to start going over the preliminary profile work. The bumpy ride was making it difficult to stay focused on their work, for every time they hit a patch of turbulence Rossi's face turn white and he gripped the edges of his seat, while Reid and JJ tried to stop the water glasses from spilling all over their files.

"Central Plains," JJ said as they passed through a particularly rough patch. "Right in the middle of Tornado Alley."

"If the unsub is in fact using tornadoes as a forensic countermeasure, Kansas is the perfect setting," Reid supplemented, as he usually did with some statistic or fact. "Tornadoes do pose a significant threat. During this year's super outbreak back in April, there were 336 confirmed tornadoes in several days. Resulting in over 300 lives lost."

Rossi just glared at the young doctor from across the table, and Emily secretly shared his sentiment. _I __know __tornadoes __are __a __serious __threat_, she thought biting back a smart retort. _I __don__'__t __need __to __know __the __odds __I__'__m __going __to __wind __up __underneath __a __house._

Penelope's face appeared with a beep on the computer screen before them, and their work resumed before Reid could continue sharing.

"Hey Mama, tell us something interesting," Derek said to the blonde head on the screen.

Garcia winked at her man and informed them that the local police had identified the most recent victims. One was a 16-year-old runaway who had been missing for a year, and the other was a 15-year-old foster kid who'd only been missing 3 weeks. Apparently they both also had criminal records for drug possession and prostitution, which brought up the question of a sexual predator unsub.

"He'd be an extremely violent sexual predator if the unsub is responsible for this mutilation," Morgan spoke as he flipped through the photos of the victims' bodies. "Especially the missing limbs."

"Well now, he could be keeping the body parts for some sort of fetish," Emily said, glancing around at her colleagues. She noticed JJ making at slight disgusted face at her words, and gave a small laugh.

"Oh! Ew!" Penelope apparently agreed with JJ about the fetish idea. "That is my cue. I'm here if you need me, with my binary machines that don't say gross things. Peace." She disconnected the video feed and Prentiss laughed out loud. She met JJ's eyes, who was also smiling about the technical analyst's words, and Emily couldn't help but feel a burst of happiness. Seeing JJ smile after the way she'd looked that morning was pure heaven. Basking in the glow of JJ's dimples and twinkling eyes, Emily turned her attention back to the case.

Before the team could jump back in, the plane began to shake, slightly more violently than the last time. This time, Reid noticed Rossi's fear as he clenched his armrests, and let the case file fall from his lap. The older man looked like he was about to be sick, and he closed his eyes, breathing deeply. It was when he reached up and crossed himself, as though blessing the end of his life, that Reid spoke.

"I didn't know you were a bad flyer."

"I'm not. I just don't like turbulence," Rossi said through gritted teeth, not letting go of his chair.

"You know," Reid began matter-of-factly, and Emily could tell this was going to be another unhelpful statement a la the tornado comment earlier, "Turbulence rarely causes planes to crash."

"That does me absolutely no good at the moment, thank you," Dave shot Reid a severely irritated look as the plane rattled again.

"What you really need to be worried about are microbursts," Reid continued, apparently oblivious to his older colleague's irritation. "Some small bursts of air associated with thunderstorms, but a small craft like this, if we hit one of those at the wrong altitude, boom, we'd be pulverized."

"I _beg __of __you_ to make him stop," Rossi said to JJ, who was sitting beside Spencer just shaking her head. Emily giggled to herself, loving every minute of the interaction between her team members, but she took care not to let Rossi see her taking enjoyment from the situation. She wasn't crazy about turbulence either, but having flown so much all her life, it wasn't something that worried her.

….

Morgan and Emily went to the crime scene, if you could call it that. It was a trailer park, but it looked more like a landfill because of all the destruction.

"You say you were able to clear this place before the storm hit?" Morgan asked the detective who was showing them around.

"I didn't know you could do that for tornadoes," Emily mused. In her mind, those things came out of nowhere, and there was no escaping. Part of the reason they freaked her out so much.

"Yeah, when we get enough lead time, we try to clear all the mobile home parks," the detective said. "The last place you wanna be in a twister is in a trailer."

_The __last __place __I __want __to __be __in __a __twister, __is __in __a __twister_, Emily thought as she surveyed the mess of debris around her.

"I think the storm means something to this guy," Morgan said, negating the idea that the unsub was just using the tornadoes to cover his tracks. "I played ball in college with a guy from Indiana, and he said that he and his buddies used to get drunk and chase storms." Morgan glanced at Emily, who had an incredulous look on her face. _What __person __in __their __right __mind__…_

"They said it was the closest they could get to seeing the true power of God," Morgan finished, as if trying to explain. "I think we should be looking at actual storm chasers as a possibility. This guy knows enough about the weather to use it to his advantage, and so far it's working."

Emily nodded, still perplexed at the kind of person you'd have to be to go chasing after one of nature's rogue vacuums.

….

Back at the field office, JJ had interviewed one of the victim's mothers, and when Morgan and Prentiss arrived, she and Hotch were standing in front of the evidence board discussing the possibility that the unsub could have been a former foster kid.

"If his MO is connected to the weather, he's going to be killing again soon," Hotch finished. "There's another major system expected tonight."

"Perfect," Emily mumbled as she turned to head to the break room to find some tea. _Chocolate __would __work __too._

"Not a fan of tornadoes?" JJ's asked, falling into step next to Emily.

"Huh," Emily scoffed, shaking her head. "Let's just say "Tornado Alley" has never been on my list of top vacation spots."

"I don't blame you," JJ smiled. "They're dangerous but we'll be ok." She reached up and laid a hand on Emily's shoulder, causing her to turn and meet her gaze. "Seriously Em, as long as you have access to a basement or cellar, you're good." JJ gave the brunette a soft smile, her bright blue eyes instantly calming Emily's nerves.

"Thanks," Emily said, looking at the younger woman. "Really. That was much more comforting than what Reid said earlier on the jet." Both women laughed as Emily held open the door for the small kitchen, ushering JJ in before her. The blonde brushed against Emily ever so slightly when she passed, and Emily caught the briefest scent of JJ's shampoo. The vanilla-floral was quickly becoming Emily's favorite smell.

…

The next day, after surviving the night's storm that had left another victim in its wake, the team was giving the profile to the local authorities.

"We think he might be using the weather as some sort of forensic countermeasure, but he might also be a symphorophiliac," JJ said.

"I'm sorry, symphor-what?" One of the local policemen asked, looking thoroughly confused. JJ's phone beeped, and instead of answering the detective's question, she excused herself and hurried out of the room. Emily didn't miss the frown that had formed on the blonde's face when she glanced at her phone, nor the fact that it was the third time her phone had gone off during the presentation of the profile. But resisting the protective urge to rush after to JJ to make sure everything was ok, Emily turned to the confused detective.

"Symphorophiliac," she said. "Someone who is sexually aroused by disaster. Usually fires, or traffic accidents. In this case the weather must enhance his excitement."

"He hunts street kids," Morgan continued. "So he may be from a similar background." Emily was only half listening to Derek's words as she looked through the glass divider that revealed JJ in the hallway on her cell phone. From the look of mixed panic and frustration, Emily was pretty sure there was only one reason for the phone call, and she prayed that Henry was okay.

It was strange, since she had been back from Paris, moment like this would occur where concern for JJ would consume her and she'd almost lose herself in it. Like right now, all she cared about was knowing if JJ and her son were alright. She was practically contemplating excusing herself from the briefing to go be with JJ in the hallway. Of course, these emotions defied all logic - _I __mean, __there__'__s __no __reason __for __me __to __go __stand __with __her __while __she__'__s __on __the __phone, __I __don__'__t __even __know __what__'__s __happening_ – but it was the effect that JJ had on her. That blonde woman had the key to all Emily's compartments, and she was able to break down any barriers Emily tried to erect.

It wasn't until she heard Hotch clearing his throat in a very distinct way that Emily tore her eyes away from the scene in the hallway. Hotch was looking at her pointedly, and Emily knew her distraction must've been obvious.

"You should talk to the press, and warn any transient kids you know," Hotch turned from Emily and addressed the group. "As the weather gets worse, so will the unsub." The crowd dispersed and Hotch turned to Emily before she could make it out the door.

"Prentiss, I want you and Dave to go to the college and talk to the storm team there. They might be able to help us get a head on this weather."

"I was…JJ…" Emily started to say, indicating out to the hall.

"I'm going to talk with JJ," Hotch said in his typical stern fashion. "Right now we need to get moving before the weather gets any worse."

_Great, __I __can__'__t __know __if __JJ__'__s __alright __AND __you__'__re __sending __me __out __in __a __tornado_, Emily thought bitterly. She knew he was right, they needed to move quickly if they were going to stop the unsub before he had a chance to kill again, but it was that protective instinct over JJ that took priority over everything else that was dominating Emily's mind. It scared her how much she was prepared to throw the case aside to be there for JJ.

"Come on Emily, let's go find some…umbrellas," Rossi said humorously as he glanced out the window at the torrential rains.

Emily just raised her eyebrows at her colleague and followed him out of the room. A few steps down the hall and they came across Hotch and JJ.

"Henry, he had a febrile seizure," JJ was saying as they approached. "Will took him to the ER. He's fine now," she said hurriedly in response to the worried look on Hotch;s face. "Apparently it's totally normal, but I-I gotta get back home." The panic was evident in JJ's voice and for a second Emily thought she was going to cry.

"What can I do?" Hotch asked, his face stern, but his voice full of concern.

"Can I borrow the jet?" It was clear that JJ wanted nothing more than to get home as soon as possible.

"I don't think the Budget Committee would appreciate my generosity," Hotch answered.

_Screw __them!_ Emily yelled internally, feeling desperate to help JJ, but utterly helpless as to what to actually do. _Another __feeling __I __don__'__t __particularly __care __for_…

"Yeah, well, worth a shot right?" JJ smiled humourlessly.

Hotch nodded understandingly. "Check in with us when you get home," he said.

"Ok," JJ nodded at her superior, and glanced up, meeting Emily's eyes briefly before hurrying off to make travel arrangements.

Before Rossi and Prentiss could continue their search for an umbrella - _an __ark __might __be __more __appropriate __at __this __point_ – Reid came shooting around the corner.

"Hey Hotch, I have a theory," the young doctor exclaimed, before launching into a long-winded explanation. It turned out the unsub was building a body with his collected body parts, a theory that was confirmed after a conversation with Garcia.

….

As Morgan, Rossi and Emily walked into the common work area, Emily saw JJ's figure hunched over a desk.

"Hey, I thought you were outta here," Morgan said as the three of them came to a stop in front of her.

JJ raised her head slowly. "All flights are suspended because of the weather. I can't get out until tomorrow."

"How's Henry?" Emily asked, hating the level of pain she saw on her coworker's face.

"He's headed home," the blonde smiled briefly, her eyes still full of anxiety. "Finally released."

"That's great news," Rossi said as he and Emily donned their coats. "I'm going to see Hotch quickly before we leave," the older man said to Emily and she nodded.

"I'll wait here."

"Where are you guys off to?" JJ asked, as Morgan and Rossi walked away.

"To the university to talk to some storm chasers," the brunette answered, giving her friend a soft smile.

"Well, stay dry," JJ sighed, attempting to return to smile, but failing miserably, her eyes filling with tears, causing her to drop her head back into her hands.

"Hey," Emily said softly, walking around the desk and taking a seat in the empty chair beside JJ. "Jayj." She reached out and laid her hand on the younger woman's back.

At her touch, JJ sat up and rubbed her hands over her face. She turned and looked at Emily, her tears crystallized the color of her blue eyes, making it sharper somehow and Emily could not believe that, by some miracle JJ's eyes had _increased_ in beauty.

"Are you worried about something else with Henry?" Emily asked, running her hand up and down the top of JJ's back.

"Um, he's fine," JJ cleared her throat, shaking her head to regain her composure. "I guess those seizures are normal for kids his age or something." Emily nodded. This was not a side of JJ she had often seen. Or ever. The woman in front of her looked exhausted, defeated. Emily kept her eyes fixed on JJ, consumed with concern and compassion, and fighting the overwhelming urge to gather the young woman in her arms and just hold her close.

"JJ," Emily spoke again, coaxing the blue eyes back up to meet her own. "What is it?" She could tell there was something else on her friend's mind besides worry over Henry, and she had a feeling it had to do with Will.

JJ ran her hands over her face, exhaling emphatically. She paused for a moment, a hundred emotions swirling, embattled behind her eyes. "I'm just tired." She threw a sideways glance at Emily, who was still looking intently at her, her brown eyes dark with concern. Emily frowned slightly at JJ's words, knowing that there was something else she wasn't saying. JJ glanced at her friend again.

"Will has just been frustrated lately," she sighed, seeming to resign herself to the fact that Emily wasn't going to let her get away without talking. "He's struggling with me being back at the BAU, he's _really_ not crazy about me being a profiler now…and when things like this happen with Henry, I just feel even more guilty about being away." The blonde shook her head heavily. "I just don't always know how I'm supposed to balance everything."

"That's not fair of him to put it all on you, JJ." Emily spoke, trying to contain her inner outrage at the former detective from Louisiana, who in her opinion, was not even close to being worthy of the amazing woman before her. "He can take care of Henry, he's perfectly capable. And you're incredible at this job. You're out here doing things that matter."

JJ looked up abruptly. "Are you saying that raising my son doesn't matter?" Her blue eyes lightened again, this time with obvious anger.

"What, no, JJ, I-" Emily stuttered, startled at her coworker's reaction. "That's not what I meant at all!"

"No offense Emily," JJ continued harshly before Emily could try to clarify herself further, "but you really have no idea what you're talking about. You're not a mother, you haven't had a relationship that's lasted longer than two dates since you've been here, and quite frankly," she said pushing herself away from the desk and standing up, "you have no idea the kind of sacrifices this job requires when you've got a family." With that JJ turned her back on Emily and walked away.

Emily was left recoiled from the words like she had been slapped across the face. She sat for a moment, completely taken aback. _I __didn__'__t __mean __that_, she thought, the pain from JJ's anger welling up inside her, threatening to fall in tears from her eyes. _Maybe __my __tone __was __a __little __harsh __when __I __said __that __about __Will, __but __it__'__s __the __truth! __They __agreed __that __he __would __leave __his __job __and __move __up __here __so __JJ __could __keep __hers, __and_…_I just __didn__'__t __mean __to __come __across __that __way._

Determined not to cry, Emily pushed away the hurt and turned to anger. She was trying to be supportive, comforting, and this is where it had gotten her. In that moment she hated the vulnerability that JJ made her feel. _Whatever. __She __can __deal __with __her __stuff __by __herself._

"Emily? You ready?" Rossi's voice interrupted Emily from her inner rage.

"Yeah, sure," she said bitterly as she pushed herself out the chair with anger, and turned to follow her older colleague out the door.

…

While they were at the university, Hotch had called to tell Rossi and Emily that they'd be picking them up. Apparently the unsub was trying to build some sort of Frankenstein version of his brother he'd lost in a tornado when he was young. And the team had to find him before he found the tornado to give life to his creation.

_Fucking __awesome._ Emily was not happy about doing exactly what she thought was insane: chasing a tornado.

She was still upset about what had transpired between herself and JJ, but was trying hard not to think about that. Luckily, she got in the car with Hotch and Rossi, and didn't have to deal with the presence of the blonde in close proximity. She understood that JJ was probably just stressed about Henry, and being away, and things weren't going very smoothly with Will, _but __that __doesn__'__t __mean __she __had __to __snap __at __me_, Emily thought, still bristling at the thought. The truth was she was mostly irritated at herself. _It__'__s __only __because __you __let __JJ __have __this __effect __on __you __that __what __she __said __is __upsetting __you __this __much. __If __it __were __anyone __else, __you__'__d __understand __they__'__re __just __under __a __lot __of __stress, __you __wouldn__'__t __be __hurt, __and __you __wouldn__'__t __be __mad __at __yourself __for __feeling __hurt._ Emily sighed and rolled her eyes, turning to focus her attention back on what was happening outside the vehicle. _If __this __storm __shows __up, __I __want __to __make __sure __I __see __it __coming_.

Apparently there were two potential tornadoes forming, and the team had to split up, relying on Garcia's direction to get them to the right spots. Emily controlled the panic that was building up inside her, at the thought of being caught between two huge funnels.

_At __least __I __haven__'__t __lost __my __ability __to __compartmentalize __completely_, she thought, taking comfort in her retained ability to control her emotions.

"Hotch, I think we got him!" Morgan's voice came crackling over the radio, causing Aaron to swing the SVU around and head towards the others. When they reached the site, the yard of an old farmhouse, Emily could see Morgan, Reid and JJ standing, guns pointed at the unsub and the most recent abduction, Sean. The unsub, Travis, was waving a hatchet dangerously close to Sean's head, and she, Hotch, Rossi jumped out of the SUV, guns drawn.

"Just let him go and we can help you!" JJ screamed desperately over the roar of the wind.

"We don't need your help!" Travis yelled back, still gripping Sean around the neck. At that moment, there was a loud cracking of tree branches, and a sound reminiscent of a freight train. Emily looked up in horror to see a gigantic tornado heading right towards them.

"We need to get to cover _now_!" Hotch yelled.

"Come on man," Morgan tried again desperately. "Put the weapon down!"

Looking over his shoulder to see the twister tearing ever closer, Travis threw down the hatchet, dropped Sean and ran over to his headless assemblage of body parts. Immediately, Morgan and Reid ran to Sean, as Hotch and Rossi were pulling open the cellar of the old house. Emily stood rooted to the stop as the air swirled around her, filled with dirt, bits of rock and debris. She could not tear her eyes from the tower of wind roaring just yards away.

"Emily!"" JJ called, turning to see the brown-haired woman frozen in horror. "_Emily!__" _JJ screamed again, running towards her. "Come on! We've got to get out of here now!" JJ grabbed Emily's arm and pulled, dragging the older agent toward the open cellar where Morgan was waiting to close the door.

"Come on, you're okay," JJ soothed, barely audible, as she pushed Emily down the stairs before her. Morgan struggled, but managed to get the cellar doors closed over the team, and they stood in silence as the storm raged above them.

Emily stood at the back of the cellar, leaning against the damp dirt wall. She was trying to control her hands from shaking, and she could feel JJ watching her. She couldn't believe what had just happened. She could deal with the most sadistic serial killers, she had faced Ian Doyle and lived, but when she saw that tornado so close, she'd been paralyzed. _So much power concentrated right there, coming right at me_..._It was like there was no way out of its path._ She shuddered at the thought. _Thank God JJ was paying attention, otherwise I don't know what would've happened._ The fact that her ability to react and remain calm in a crisis had failed scared Emily almost as much as the thought of the tornado. Remembering JJ's face as she yelled for her to move, Emily glanced up involuntarily, her eyes falling on JJ's, who was still observing her from a few feet away. For a brief moment the two women connected across the small cellar. Emily couldn't quite read the emotion behind JJ's eyes, and she felt unsure of how to act, given what had transpired between them earlier. She quickly looked away, concentrating on her fingernails, determined not to look up again.

…

Emily stood observing JJ from across the field office. They were stuck in Kansas for another night, waiting for the weather to clear before they were allowed to fly home. Emily hadn't spoken to JJ since the tornado, and JJ hadn't really made an effort to speak to her. Although she was immeasurably grateful to JJ for saving her from her immobilizing fear, Emily was uncomfortable with how she had been letting her feelings for the younger woman consume her lately. _I __really __feel __like __I __need __to __take __a __step __back_. She knew she'd made the same resolution before, a dozen times probably, to make sure she kept herself, including her thoughts, in the "friend zone" with JJ. Those attempts had failed, but this time Emily had felt her feelings impeding on her ability to focus on her job, to prioritize the victims, _and_ she had felt that her dislike (_and __envy_) of Will had been too obvious._And __I __ended __up__ hurting __JJ_.

Emily watched as JJ recited Henry's favorite story from memory over the phone. She could see the tears rolling down JJ's cheeks, and Emily's heart broke. She loved JJ more than anything in the world, and watching her be a mother was a beautiful, though agonizing thing. JJ's harsh words from earlier still stung, and the fact that they came from the woman Emily was in love with only increased the brunette's pain. Additionally, Emily had taken what JJ had said to be a form of rejection, not romantically necessarily, but just of her care for the woman. _It's pretty obvious from that reaction that she doesn't have the same feelings toward me as I do her, _Emily thought. Obviously not, the voice in her head replied. Look at her, she has her own family. The voice was right. It was what made the scene before her so heartbreaking. Emily knew JJ wasn't going to be hers, not in the way that she wanted anyway. And with that despairing knowledge being painfully reinforced, Emily couldn't help feeling like her heart was shattering.

"She's had a rough week." Hotch appeared at Emily's side, and joined her in her observation of JJ. Emily simply nodded, afraid that her voice would give away all that she was feeling.

"People say things they don't mean when they're under a lot of stress," he spoke again. Emily glanced at the unit chief, unsure if he knew about the earlier exchange between the two women, and how.

"We should all get some rest," Hotch said, not offering any more information about what he had meant with his previous comment, before walking away. "See you in the morning."

Emily glanced at her beautiful JJ one more time before turning and heading for the hotel herself.

…

The next afternoon, they were finally cleared to fly. Emily was sitting playing cards with Reid, Morgan and Rossi, and was beating them all thoroughly. She was happy too, someone had put M&Ms on the plane, so she would be getting her spoils in chocolate.

Emily still hadn't spoken with JJ, who now sat alone at the back of the jet, observing the boisterous group.

"Did you hear anything about Henry this morning?" Hotch took a seat across from the blonde.

JJ looked up at her boss, offering him a grateful smile. "Yeah, he's doing fine Will said. No fever."

"Good," Hotch smiled ever so slightly in return, pausing a moment to look over and watch the rest of the team, who were laughing loudly at Morgan's impression of Reid losing at cards.

"You know, JJ," he said, looking back at his young colleague. "I understand what it's like to be a parent and try to do this job."

"Hotch, I-" JJ started, but Hotch shook his head, indicating for her to let him finish.

"I understand better than most what kind of sacrifices the job requires. But," Hotch continued to look at JJ, little emotion besides sincerity visible on his face. "I'm not the only one who knows. We've all made sacrifices for the job. Including giving up our families." JJ looked up to meet her boss's eyes.

"I'm not talking about me," he said, seeing the sympathy in her face.

JJ glanced over at Emily, who was in the middle of pelting Reid with M&Ms, while Rossi was trying to quiet the situation and Morgan was peeking at Reid's cards. JJ couldn't help but laugh at the sight. She knew Emily had suffered unknowably while in Paris, separated not only from her biological family, but her BAU family as well. Regret panged at JJ's chest when she thought about the words she had thrown at the older woman in frustration. She knew Emily hadn't meant what JJ had accused her. It was just easier to lash out at Em than face her own frustrating circumstances.

"Thanks," JJ nodded, looking back at Hotch. He just tilted his head and smiled briefly. JJ stood up and approached the chaotic poker players.

"Hey," she smiled standing next to the table. "Mind if I join?"

"Thank God," Rossi said, throwing down his cards. "Please. Save me from these lunatics." He stood up giving JJ his seat as Reid gathered the cards to re-deal. JJ looked across the table at Emily, whose dark brown eyes magnetically found her own. The look that passed between them conveyed an apology that probably couldn't have been expressed in words. JJ didn't know how, but Emily always seemed to be on her wavelength, and she was grateful for the soft smile the older woman gave her as she accepted cards from Reid.

"I hope you know what your got yourself into," Emily said, looking back down at her cards. "I don't lose, and especially not when there's chocolate involved."

"She cheats," Reid said, stealing and eating a candy from Emily's pile. Emily just laughed and shook her head.

"You just can't stand that I can beat you." JJ smiled at the banter between her coworkers, and settled back into her seat, preparing to lose terrifically at least a few times before they landed.

...~...~...


	6. Chapter 6: Hope

A/N: Thanks to everyone for your reviews! And again, thanks to my favorite (and only) beta who gives me fantastic inspiration and direction.

I'm sorry for the delay in updating, but this chapter is extra long, so hopefully that makes up for it. Enjoy!

**Chapter 6: "Hope"**

Emily was sitting at her desk resting her head on her hand, trying desperately to concentrate on the case file in front of her. Since the team had returned from Kansas, things had been relatively quiet around the BAU, which was nice but meant that the profilers had no excuses to put off their mountains of paperwork. It also meant that Emily had no chance to escape sitting next to JJ day in and day out.

Since their little confrontation in Kansas, things had been somewhat awkward between the two women. While they had shared a small moment on the jet on their way home, the damage was mostly done. JJ's harsh words had driven Emily back behind the defenses of her walls. She had been caught off guard at how much power the blonde had to cause her pain, and Emily did not like letting someone get that close.

_Don__'__t l__ie, __you__'__re __also __all __torn __up __because __you __can__'__t __pretend __anymore. __You __can__'__t __kid __yourself __that __she __doesn__'__t __have __a __family __or __is __going __to __run __away __with __you __and __live __happily __ever __after._

Emily frowned hard at the words in front of her, trying simultaneously to drown out the thoughts running through her head and the voices laughing next to her.

"Don't you think so Em?" JJ giggled as she placed her hand on Emily's desk to get her attention. "Don't you think Reid should grow a mustache?"

Emily really didn't want to look up. She had been avoiding JJ since last week, and it was easier to control her tornado of emotions if she just didn't spend time with the blonde.

_Tornado. _

The word brought up complex emotions, as Emily was constantly torn between her hurt and self-preservation attitude which led her to try and stay as far away from JJ as possible, and the other extreme, in which Emily wanted nothing more than to stare into those deep blue eyes and take JJ in her arms. JJ had practically saved Emily's life back in Kansas when she dragged her out of the path of that tornado when Emily had been unable to overcome her terror at the sight of the storm.

"If he _could_ grow one," Morgan's teasing reminded Emily of the ongoing conversation of which she was supposed to be a part. Reluctantly, she glanced up at Reid, resisting looking at JJ altogether.

"I could see it," she said, making her voice light and shooting the young doctor a face. "Or you could just go full beard, like Hotch." The other profilers laughed at her reference to the facial hair their supervisor had acquired while in Pakistan.

"Now _that_would look good," JJ said, smiling at Reid, then turning to smile at Emily. The brunette quickly averted her eyes, suddenly needing to be absorbed in the case file on her desk.

_I __just __can__'__t __handle __that __smile_, Emily thought, gritting her teeth. She felt bad, she knew JJ had been noticing her distance. JJ apparently had taken their exchange on the jet as an amends, and it probably would have been, _if __you __weren__'__t __in __love __with __her_. Either way, JJ had been making an effort to be nice to Emily, bring her tea, sharing Henry's Halloween candy that she'd snuck into her purse…_I __just __can__'__t! _Emily thought, trying to justify her pushing away the woman she loved. _I __can__'__t __keep __pretending __there__'__s __ever __going __to __be __something __between __us. __I __need __to __move __on, __get __over __her. __I __need __to __be __in __a __place __where __I __can __look __at __her __as _just _a __friend. __And __until __I __can __do __that, __I __need __to __keep __my __distance._

Feeling rather depressed and generally exhausted from battling the force of JJ all day, Emily checked her watch, hoping it was 5 o'clock.

_4:30. __I __can __claim __an __impending __migraine __and __go __home __with __minimal __suspicion_, she thought confidently, just ready to put some physical distance between her and the way too beautiful blue-eyed blonde sitting next to her.

…

JJ watched as Emily walked down from Hotch's office, making her way toward the door.

_She__'__s __leaving __early_ _again._

JJ had watched Emily be the first one out all week. She avoided walking with the others, and she definitely had been avoiding being around JJ.

_This __is __getting __really __old,_ JJ thought angrily. _I__'__ve __tried __to __apologize, __but __every __time __I __try __to __talk __to __her, __she __just __brushes __me __off __and __walks __away __before __I __can __actually __say __anything._ JJ was growing more frustrated as she watched Emily walk out of the BAU without so much as a glance backward. _She __is __going __to __talk __to __me. __Today._

Deciding now was the time to act, JJ stood up quickly, throwing a few folders into her purse and hastily grabbing her coat. "I'm gonna get out of here now too. It's about time anyway, right?" Morgan and Reid looked up at JJ curiously.

"About time?" Reid examined his watch. "That's too vague a statement to really have meaning. It's 4:43, if that counts as –"

"Thanks Reid," JJ cut him off. "Sounds good. See you guys tomorrow." Morgan laughed and nodded at her as she hurried out the door.

JJ jogged down the hall, hoping that she could catch Emily in the parking lot before she left. As she pushed open the door and stepped outside, she saw Emily getting into her car. _Damn._

"Emily!" JJ called, running toward the older agent's vehicle. "Em! Wait!" JJ waved her free arm, trying to get Emily's attention. For a split second she could swear that Emily was looking right at her and was going to wait, but in the next moment she was pulling out of the parking spot and driving away.

"Seriously?" JJ dropped her hand to her side. Watching Emily's car disappear out of the parking lot, a fresh rage boiled up inside her. _This __is __not __happening. __She __is __not __avoiding __me, __AGAIN._

With that, JJ climbed into her own car and slammed the door, resolved to track Emily down and force her to listen.

…

On the drive to Emily's condo, JJ held onto her rage. She was afraid if she started rationalizing, she'd turn around and go home. _This __is __too __important. __I__'__m __not __losing __her __again __over __my __own __stupid __temper __and __her __stupid __stubbornness. __She __is __going __to __listen __to __me __whether __she __likes __it __or __not._

Once she pulled into the parking lot of Emily's complex, however, JJ's resolve started to fade. She stepped out of her car, and looked up in what she assumed was the general direction of Emily's unit. _Ok, _JJ thought. _I__'__m __doing __this._ She took a few steps away from her car, up onto the sidewalk in front of the building.

_God __what __am __I __doing?_ _I __should __have __called __first._She stopped in her tracks and turned back towards her car. She turned back and looked at the building. _Why __am __I __even __this __upset? __I __will __see __her __tomorrow, __I __can __just __corner __her __then. __I __mean, __she__'__ll __have __to __get __over __this __eventually, __our __friendship __is __too __strong __for __this._

JJ was literally oscillating between choices as she took a few steps toward her car, hesitated, then walked a few feet back toward the building.

"JJ?"

She jumped, turning around to see Emily emerging from her car, parked a few spots away.

"What are you doing here?" The brunette's forehead creased in confusion as she approached the blonde woman.

"I, um," JJ stuttered, suddenly uncertain of what she wanted to say. "We need to talk!" The words came out a little more forceful than JJ had intended, and Emily looked slightly taken aback.

"Um, you _followed __me __home_ to talk to me?"

Emily's incredulous response had the necessary effect, bringing back JJ's previous anger. "Yes! You won't stand still long enough at work for me to put two words together! You've been avoiding me all week and I _know_ you saw me in the parking lot today. So _yeah_! I _followed __you __home_."

The older agent looked slightly sheepish at the mention of the parking lot, but she regained her stone-faced composure and looked back up at JJ. "Fine," she said almost defiantly. "What do you want to talk about." It was more a command than a question, but JJ was still angry.

"Invite me inside Emily. It's freezing out here, and I'm making you listen to me until I've said what I need to say."

Looking at JJ who was still not wearing her coat, Emily rolled her eyes and mumbled something under her breath and as she turned towards the building.

"What?" JJ asked, still annoyed, but not quite sure if she should follow.

"I said _fine_," Emily said loudly, without looking back at the blonde who was standing uncertainly on the sidewalk.

"Oh," JJ said softly, slightly nervous about Emily's abrasive manner, and she began to wonder if this was a terrible idea after all.

…

The two women walked silently into Emily's condo. Emily wasn't quite sure what to make of this whole situation. JJ had _followed__her__home_. On one hand, she was pretty sure that JJ was just going to demand an explanation for her icy demeanor over the past week, but she hadn't really been expecting JJ to drive all the way to D.C. to get it.

_I __don__'__t __have __an __explanation __anyway, _Emily thought. _What __am __I __going __to __say?__ '__Sorry, __I __can__'__t __look __you __in __the __eye __because __I __resent __how __happy __your __smile __makes __me?__'_

Sighing and throwing her coat on a kitchen chair, Emily turned to face her guest. _Uninvited __guest_.

"So. What is it?" She still couldn't manage to hold JJ's eyes for more than a few seconds, and almost immediately looked down and began to pick at her fingernails.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry," JJ began quickly, afraid Emily might throw her out if she didn't start speaking soon. "For what happened in Kansas." Emily glanced up at the blonde's face, but quickly averted her eyes.

"I'm really sorry I snapped at you, Em. I was really stressed out, with Will and Henry being sick…" JJ took a step closer to Emily, not sure if the older woman was really listening. "It's no excuse, but I was wrong. You do know what it's like to make sacrifices for this job, more so than most. I mean, you've _died_ for us, basically," JJ rambled slightly. "I just wanted you to know that I didn't mean what I said. It's not true, and I really don't think that. And I'm sorry I said those things to you."

"It's fine," Emily said almost immediately after JJ finished speaking. She paused and focused her attention back on her nails.

"Okay…" JJ said, clearly waiting for more. Emily looked up and saw the way JJ was standing, obviously nervous, playing with her ring that held Henry's birthstone.

"Really, JJ," Emily said, softening her voice a little. "It's fine. I know you were stressed." She gave JJ what she hoped was a look of sincerity and turned to rummage in her cupboard for Sergio's food. She was hoping JJ would take her actions as a signal that the conversation was over.

"Ok so what else is wrong then?" The blonde woman demanded, not moving from her position in the middle of the kitchen, and watching Emily closely.

_Damn. __I __hate __that __she__'__s __a __profiler_, Emily thought, trying to think of some way to get JJ out of her house.

"Nothing," she said, throwing a glance over her shoulder and trying to sound cheery. "Why?"

JJ scoffed at the response. "Well, you still won't look at me, for one thing. It doesn't take a profiler to see that you're clearly upset about something Emily."

The brunette sighed, setting Sergio's newly filled bowl on the floor and straightening up to face the younger woman.

"JJ, I'm not sure what you want me to say."

"I just want you to tell me what's going on! What did I do?" JJ's blue eyes were pleading as they met Emily's own. "Seriously, Em," the blonde continued. "I can't keep going like this. Things are just, they…" Emily watched painfully as JJ visibly struggled for words. "Things _suck_ when you're not talking to me!" She exclaimed, exasperated.

Emily didn't know what to say. _How __do __I __explain __that __I__'__m __being __an __ass __because __I __love__you?_

"Nothing's wrong," Emily insisted. "I've just been tired this week, you know with-"

"Oh please," JJ interrupted, exasperated. "I know there's something else Emily. I know what I said in Kansas was inexcusable, and I am _sorry_." JJ emphasized the last word with sincerity. "But, you are…" the blonde paused, closing her eyes and shaking her head, her frustration evident. "I just don't know what is going on with you!" JJ seemed to burst with the words. "You're pushing me away, completely shutting me out!" Her blue eyes were lit up with conviction, and she continued on passionately, almost angrily, not stopping to breathe. "And I can understand that you'd be angry, but Emily, after everything we've been through together, and almost losing you completely to Doyle, and having to pretend you were dead, thinking I'd never see you again, the way you're acting now, it just feels like I'm losing you all over again, and I _need_ you, Em, I need you around me-"

Emily didn't know if there was more to that sentence or not. She didn't know anything except that she was losing the battle of wills within her. She had seen in JJ's eyes a passion, that when combined with her words ("_I __need __you __Em__"_ ), crumbled all of Emily's resolve. In a split second, she had taken JJ's face in her hands, and pressed their lips together, hard. The kiss was immediately deep, and after an initial moment of shock, Emily felt JJ responding, her mouth pushing back against Emily's own.

_Her __scent, __her __taste, __the __warmth __of __her __skin__…_Everything about the contact was intoxicating to Emily. She was kissing JJ. Somewhere in the middle of her drunkenness, though, she realized that she was _kissing __JJ._

Abruptly aware of what she had just done, Emily broke away suddenly, taking a step back from the blonde.

"Oh my god, JJ, I'm so sorry –"

Her apology was interrupted by JJ's lips on hers once more. JJ was kissing her fiercely, her hands finding their way to the back of Emily's head, pushing Emily's lips deeper into the kiss. Emily reached her own hands around the small of JJ's back, pulling the blonde closer. She could feel the curve of JJ's hips beneath her fingers, loved the taste of JJ on her mouth, as she inhaled deeply, breathing in the young woman.

This time it was JJ who broke the kiss, slowly pulled her lips away from Emily's, and lingering for a moment. JJ dropped her hands, but kept her gaze fixed on Emily's. Emily couldn't quite read the emotion behind those eyes, colored a shade of dark blue she had never seen before.

"JJ…" Emily murmured, desperately wanting to know what the blonde was thinking.

JJ looked down, suddenly avoiding Emily's eyes. "I should go," she said, her voice coming out in a hoarse whisper. "I really…should go." Emily opened her mouth to protest, but before she could say anything, JJ had turned and hurried out the door.

…

The next morning Emily woke up having thought of nothing but JJ all night. _I__kissed__her_. Overnight, Emily's emotional cocktail of feelings over the kiss had become dominated by fear from over-analyzing JJ's quick exit.

_I __can't __believe __I __did __that. __I __cannot __believe_...

Emily alternated between being furious at herself for risking her friendship with JJ to trying to calm herself with reminders that JJ _did_ kiss her back, so things might be okay, better than okay even. But she hadn't been able to read the look in JJ's eyes before she left though, so Emily really had no idea where things stood.

_Well __she __went __home __to __Will, __so __I'm __not __really __sure __what __you're __expecting __here_, Emily's inner voice spoke harshly to her hope. _It's __not __like __one __kiss __means __she's __going __to __leave __her __family. __You __kissed __her __first, __practically __pushed __yourself __on __her_.

Yeah but she kissed me the second time...

_She practically ran away from you afterwards, she probably regrets the whole thing and is completely freaked out and -_

"Shut _up_!"

Emily groaned as she rolled out of bed, trying to verbally silence the turmoil in her head. She didn't know what to think, and the thought of seeing JJ at work brought up a whole other mix of emotions to deal with. She was terrified that JJ would avoid her, and that her actions had not only ruined their friendship, but that she would have to face the reality that JJ didn't feel the same way, without anymore "maybes". At the same time, that part of her that never stopped hoping was busy inventing all sorts of interactions where JJ would give her an intimate smile, reach out and take her hand, acknowledging their secret and reaffirming the passion they'd shared the night before.

Emily rolled her eyes at her own romantic delusions, as she stood staring at her closet trying to decide what to wear. She hated how self-conscious JJ had made her. She had been constantly paying more attention to what she wore to work, for some reason thinking that JJ paid attention to her outfits.

_Right. __She__'__s __constantly __checking __you __out, _she thought sarcastically to herself. Even still, it mattered to her.

Flicking through the row of hangers, Emily mused aloud, "Now, what do I have that says, 'It's no big deal that we kissed last night, but it is if you think it is'?" Suddenly all her clothes looked stupid. Sighing and letting out another groan, she decided to get in the shower first.

Standing under the warm water, Emily's inner voices that hadn't shut up all night resumed their bickering.

_Why am I so worked up over this? It's JJ for god's sake!_

Yes, JJ. You know, the woman with whom you are secretly in love? Your friend? Coworker? Who you also happened to kiss last night?

_She kissed me too, though. So…there's a chance that maybe she might maybe feel the same way._

Ha, right. Why don't you mention that when you're asking her why she bolted from your kitchen right after.

_Should I try to talk to her? I mean, should I bring it up? Or should I let her bring it up? I should probably let her bring it up. ...Right?_

She's not going to bring it up. She's going to avoid you.

_But she might…I mean, what if we're in a situation where no one else around? Are we just going to *not* talk about it? She could say something then…_

Emily was so caught up in her hypothesizing that she didn't even realize she was trying to wash her hair with shaving cream until she had already lathered it through her hair.

"What the fuck!" She swore, completely annoyed with herself for being such an idiot. "Seriously, Prentiss," she spoke to herself as she reached for the _actual_ shampoo, "Get. It. Together." Shaking her head, Emily tried to focus on getting herself showered properly and ignore the impending confrontation with JJ.

…

Unfortunately, the rest of Emily's morning seemed to go like her shower. She spilled her tea, dropped her toast (Nutella side down), and had discovered that her favorite sweater had a hole in it, but only after putting it on inside out and backwards. _And_ she had been unsuccessful in ignoring the "JJ thing," as all her hopes and fears had replayed themselves over and over the entire way to Quantico.

Upon pulling into the FBI building parking lot, Emily was not any calmer than she had been when she first woke up. In fact, she was arguably in worse shape after her fiasco of a morning. She saw JJ's car in the lot, and therefore every step down the hallway to the BAU was one of terrified anticipation. She reached the offices without running into JJ, and didn't see her at her desk. So feeling slightly relieved, slightly disappointed, and still extremely nervous, Emily set her bag down at her desk. She could feel her palms sweating and her stomach turning continuous flips. Drawing in a shaky breath, she decided she needed to go to the restroom to pull herself together.

_Seriously, __Em. __You __gotta __calm __down_, she tried to console herself as she pushed her way through the bathroom door.

The sight of a familiar blonde standing at the sink greeted her on the other side of the door. As Emily stepped into the room, JJ looked up, noticing the movement behind her through the mirror. Both women paused in awkward uncertainty.

It was Emily who spoke first. "Hi," was all she could come up with as she desperately tried to read the look on JJ's face.

The blonde quickly looked down at her hands, which were still under the running water. "Hey," she said, her voice trying to sound casual and she busied herself with washing her hands. A prolonged moment of silence followed in which, for all of her deliberating about how to handle this exact situation, she had no idea what to do next.

"Erm," she began, taking a hesitant step towards the row of sinks where JJ stood. "How are...you?"

"I'm good," JJ said with a distant cheeriness in her voice. "And you?" she had glanced up at Emily only for a brief second before turning to dry her hands.

Emily couldn't help but feel like she was being treated like some vague acquaintance. JJ was definitely keeping her distance. Her tone of voice, the fact that she was avoiding eye contact with Emily and seemed to be frantically trying to get out of the bathroom to get away from her.

_We __are __not __doing __this __again, _Emily resolved, suddenly determined to discuss the events with JJ.

"JJ," she said, taking another step towards the young woman, trying to strategically place herself between JJ and the door to prevent her from making a quick escape. "About last night, I -"

"It's fine," JJ cut Emily off, not glancing up from drying her hands.

_Great. __Things __are __totally __awkward. __She's __totally __freaked __out __to __be __around __you. __Nice __job, Prentiss._

Emily began to panic as she realized that she may have actually completely damaged their relationship.

"Jayj, I didn't mean-" she tried again, desperate to say something that would fix things.

"I'm not _gay_," JJ interrupted Emily again, this time turning to face the brunette and practically spitting out the last word. Her blue eyes held Emily's for a moment, flashing with defiance, like she was daring Emily to say otherwise.

Completely taken aback by the abruptness of her statement, Emily stuttered for a moment. "I didn't think- I wasn't trying to- I mean, I know that." She had definitely not expected JJ to just blurt out something like that.

JJ nodded firmly. "Yeah. Well, I just wanted make sure that you didn't think...anything. I'm _not_," she said stressing the last word. "Not to mention I have a family and I...I love Will." The second statement was made with just the slightest hesitation in her voice that only a profiler could detect, but Emily was sure it was there nonetheless.

_Are __you __sure __about __that?_ Emily wanted to ask, foolishly allowing herself to apply hope to that moment of hesitation.

"Of course!" Was what she came up with instead. Walls had shot up the second their eyes had met in the mirror and she had seen JJ look away with obvious discomfort at the sight of her. There was no denying her insides were being crushed in that moment, but she sure as hell wasn't going to let an obviously regretful JJ know that.

"Obviously. I didn't think, I mean, it was..." Emily was trying desperately to make the right words come out of her mouth when all she wanted to do was scream, _but __you __kissed __me __back!_

"I don't know what happened," she finally sighed out. "I just want to make sure," Emily paused again, looking desperately at JJ who had raised her eyes again to meet hers. "The last thing I want is to mess up our friendship." The words came out softer than she intended, and immediately she worried that JJ would hear her heartbreak.

"Yeah, no, we're good!" JJ gave Emily a brief, and obviously difficult, smile. "Everything's fine. I just didn't want you to get the wrong idea." She moved, trying to get around Emily to the door.

"Oh. Right. Understandable." _Yeah, __you're __making __it __abundantly __clear __how __much __you __want __to __get __away __from __me __right __now._

"Well…I have work to do, so… JJ indicated towards the door, still avoiding the brunette's eyes.

"Oh, sorry," Emily stepped aside so JJ could exit the bathroom. As the door closed behind her, Emily stepped in front of the mirror. She stood there, staring at herself as she replayed the interaction in her mind.

_There's __nothing __to __go __over __Emily,_ she told herself. _She __doesn't __feel __the __same __way __about __you __that __you __do __about __her. __And __she's __obviously __uncomfortable __with __what __happened. __She's __practically __disgusted_.

The last thought overwhelmed Emily with a sense of grief, as she leaned forward and hung her head. She just stared into the sink, gripping the edges of the counter, and berating herself for completely screwing things up.

_I knew this would happen. I fucking knew there was no chance she'd feel the same way. How could I be so stupid to risk our relationship... That's it. I mean, I've totally messed up the closeness between us, which I swore I wouldn't do because I value her as a friend too much, and now..._

She sighed heavily, fighting back tears.

_Just __fuck __it. __This __is __why __I __don't __do __this __letting __people __close __bullshit. __I cannot handle__feeling __this...vulnerable_.

She looked up to see herself in the mirror. The heartbreak was written all over face, even she could see it.

_Pull it together, Prentiss._

Clenching her jaw tightly, she decided she wasn't going to be some weak, lovesick sap.

_This __is __what __you're __good __at,_ she reminded herself. _Building __walls, __compartments, __and __keeping __people __out. __JJ is n__o __different._

With that, the brunette's features rearranged themselves, her face becoming wall itself, and she walked out of the restroom to join the rest of the team.

...

The rest of the day was uneventful as far as Emily's interactions with JJ, for which Emily was grateful, but secretly (_very _secretly) she hoped that JJ might throw a smile her way, or come over to chat like she usually did, signaling that things were normal between them. Thankfully too, there was an endless amount of work that needed to be done. It seemed that despite the relatively quiet week prior, paperwork never stopped piling up. Not to mention the whole team had to spend the afternoon attending a painfully boring procedural workshop, where Morgan and Reid had spent the whole time throwing small bits of paper at each other. Emily, though, had sat apart from her colleagues, taking a seat in the very front of the room where she listened raptly to everything the presenter said and took diligent notes. It was all part of the strategy. She was in full "Prentiss mode" now – throwing herself into work, all intellect and no emotion. Polite conversation, maybe a joke here or there, but this kind of stonewalling, self-preservation, these were things growing up with her mother had taught her well.

As relieved as Emily was to leave the office that night, going home alone with little distractions would make not thinking about JJ and the events of that morning more difficult. So when Hotch called at 9:30pm while she was flipping channels trying to find something sufficiently distracting on TV, Emily wasn't completely irritated. Although going back to work did mean facing JJ again.

...

The case they were dealing with was a woman in Garcia's support group who had gone missing. Her daughter Hope had been abducted seven years before, and there were some convincing indications that the same unsub was responsible for both abductions.

"So these were found on Heather's bike two weeks after Hope disappeared," Emily announced as she walked up to the evidence board where the team was gathered. She held out a bag that contained a few butterfly charms, and passed a copy of the note left with them to JJ (without looking directly at her).

"That's the girl Hope was playing with before she was abducted," Garcia spoke up, looking up at Emily, hopeful for additional information.

"Without you she wouldn't have been set free," JJ read aloud from the note Emily had given her. "This is a token of my appreciation."

"He sent a thank-you note to the girl he _didn__'__t _abduct?" Penelope asked, looking sufficiently creeped out.

"Something like that," Hotch mused. "Prentiss, JJ. First thing in the morning, you two go talk to Heather. See if she remembers anything about that day."

Wondering how the blonde would feel about being forced to spent time alone with her, Emily glanced over at JJ. Her mouth was open as if she was about to speak in protest. When the she saw Emily looking at her, however, she stopped and nodded at Hotch. "Got it. Is eight okay?" She asked, turning to Emily.

"Sounds good to me," the brunette replied, thrilled at her own ability to keep her emotions out of this interaction.

"Good well then whoever wants to can go home and get some sleep. You've only got about three hours or so, but you should get what you can," Hotch told them. No one wanted to leave Garcia, who was refusing to go anywhere until they had found Monica. Emily decided, however, that even if she wasn't going home, she desperately needed sleep, so she borrowed the couch in Rossi's office for a quick nap. She fell asleep almost immediately, her emotions about the past two days packed away neatly, her mind centered on the case, on helping Penelope and finding Monica.

…

JJ really wasn't looking forward to going anywhere alone with Emily. She hadn't managed to sleep at all, since she didn't move from Garcia's side since the case had started. She considered the technical analyst her best friend, and wanted to be there for her at any moment she might need. But it had meant that she was exhausted in the morning when she was supposed to accompany Emily to talk to Hope's friend.

_I __suppose __it__'__s __not __a __bad __thing,_ JJ thought to herself as they rode to the school in silence. _I__'__m __too __exhausted __and __preoccupied __with __Penelope __to __even __try __to __think __about __what__'__s __going __on __with __us._

It seemed that Emily was as well, as she hadn't tried to bring anything up, and really hadn't spoken at all during the entire car ride.

Upon arriving at the high school, the two agents had been directed by the principle to a teenage girl sitting out by the school buses.

"Heather?" JJ spoke as she and Emily approached the young girl who had stood up to meet them. "I'm Agent Jareau, this is Agent Prentiss. We're with the FBI, and we have some questions about Hope Kingston, do you remember her?"

"What do you think?" The girl answered humourlessly, looking from JJ to Emily.

"I know you've been through this before," Emily spoke up. "But we really need to talk to you about that day."

JJ hated how much she loved the gentleness of Emily's voice when she spoke to witnesses and victims. Glancing at the brunette quickly, JJ continued, "Heather we have reason to believe that the same man who took Hope abducted her mother last night."

The teenager suddenly looked terrified. "This can't be happening again," she said, seeming on the verge of panic.

"Did you and Hope play together often?" JJ asked, trying to keep the girl's mind focused and calm.

"Every day, she was like a sister," Heather's voice faltered slightly.

"Now," Emily spoke again in that steady gentle voice of hers. "You told police that you saw a man watching you guys play that day."

"Look, I've been through this a thousand times," Heather said, her demeanor changing, making it obvious she did not want to be reliving these memories. "I wish I could help you guys, I really do, but I can't. I gotta get to class." She turned to leave and JJ was mid-sigh, about to get extremely frustrated, when Emily stepped forward to follow the teenage girl.

"You put streaks in your hair because it's a constant reminder of how much the two of you looked alike," she said, causing Heather to stop in her tracks.

"You don't know anything about me," she said to Emily without turning around.

"I know that you struggle to let people in, because you're afraid of losing them." JJ stared at Emily as she spoke. The pained look in her brown eyes, the way she was biting her lip, it was obvious that the brunette was speaking from experience.

"And that you're constantly asking yourself why he took Hope instead of you," Emily pushed further, as Heather remained unmoving, her back still to the agents.

"Are you done?" The girl's voice broke and JJ looked up at Emily who gave her a nod.

"Look," the blonde agent said, stepping beside the young teenager. "If there's something that you know, please tell us. We're trying to help."

At her words Heather turned to look at the two agents, tears running down her face. "It wasn't the first time I'd seen him," she sobbed. "It was a week earlier when Hope and I were in the park."

"Did he say anything to you?" JJ's own heart ached at the tenor of Emily's voice. She ignored it and focused on the crying girl in front of her.

"No," Heather answered Emily and returned to staring at the ground.

"Can you tell us about the day Hope was abducted?" JJ asked gently, not wanting to push to the young girl too far too quickly.

Heather was in obvious pain as she recounted the day Hope was taken – the two of them playing hide-and-go-seek, the man with butterflies in a jar who asked if he could play the game with them. She completely broke down when she told them that she had never told anyone about that man, even when the butterfly charms had shown up on her bike.

Emily reached out and placed her arm around the sobbing girl.

"It's not your fault," she soothed, looking up to meet JJ's eyes above Heather's head. They exchanged a look over the fact that they both knew it would have been helpful if Heather had mentioned this a long time ago, but there was no changing that now. And it was obvious that the poor girl had beat herself up over it for the past seven years.

JJ couldn't help but feel emotion towards Emily as they walked away from the school. Hearing Emily say what she did about not letting people get close, and seeing her be so gentle with Heather had brought up all the affection she felt towards the older agent.

_These are the feelings __that __messed __you __up __the __other __night_, JJ reminded herself as she remembered the overwhelming emotion she had felt towards Emily that had prompted her to follow Em to her condo and pour out all her feelings and…_cause __her __to __kiss __me._

JJ threw a sideways glace at the brunette walking next to her, her eyes lingering on Emily's mouth. She quickly looked away, not wanting Emily to notice her staring.

JJ really didn't understand what had happened two nights ago. She had been standing there, yelling at Emily about how important she was to her, and the next thing she knew, Emily's lips had been on hers. If she was honest, there _had_ been times when it had crossed JJ's mind that there might be more to Emily's feelings than just friendship, but she had just brushed the thoughts away as some kind of vain misperception. She felt ridiculous for thinking that Emily had feelings for her, and felt even more embarrassed that she secretly liked the attention indicating that possibility. There had been more than a few times when JJ had found herself flirting with the older brunette, and she couldn't figure out why she constantly found herself slipping into that mindset.

_And __whenever __she __mentions __someone __she __dated_... JJ thought of the flashes of jealousy that had overwhelmed her at certain moments when Emily brought up her love life.

_But __she__'__s __your __friend, __and __she__'__s __a *woman*, _JJ concentrated hard on the ground in front of her. She was constantly reminding herself of this. _You__'__re __not __gay, __you __know __you__'__re __not._ She did know. She liked men. She was attracted to Will. But Emily…_she __makes __me __feel __so__…__so __fucking __confused! _Frustrated, JJ swung her foot in stride, kicking a pinecone along the ground in front of her. In her next step she delivered another forceful kick, sending the pinecone sailing out of their path. She felt Emily's eyes on her, and looking up she met the gaze of the brunette, who was looking at her with raised eyebrows.

"Sorry," JJ said smiling sheepishly at her visible display of frustration. "Soccer habit."

"Ah." Emily nodded, as she turned and looked back at the ground as the pair continued to make their way back to the car.

JJ remained looking at her colleague for a moment longer, trying to comprehend her emotions towards the older woman. She hadn't been able to make sense of anything since that night in Emily's kitchen. Every time she had convinced herself that she had just been overwhelmed by the intense emotions about how Emily had been acting towards her, there was one thing she couldn't get out of her mind:

_How __completely __right __it __felt._

The softness of Emily's lips on hers, feeling herself in Emily's arms…it had all been so perfect that JJ wanted more. _And __hence __the __second __kiss._ She was a little freaked out at how much she had enjoyed kissing Emily, and how disappointed she'd been when Emily pulled away. She had no idea what to make of it, she felt confused, and guilty for betraying Will, but she was absolutely sure that she was not gay.

_Except that you'd totally kiss her again if you got the chance. _

She tried to ignore that thought as they reached their vehicle. She looked over at her brown-eyed colleague climbing into the SUV, and remembered the sincerity of Emily's voice when she'd been talking to Heather. JJ immediately felt guilty about their interaction the previous morning.

_I __just __didn__'__t __know __what __to __do!_ _I __don__'__t __want __her __to __get __the __wrong __idea. __I __mean, __I __don__'__t __like __women __like __that. __I __don__'__t. __I __can__'__t. __And __I __don__'__t._

JJ had panicked after their shared kiss(es), having never been with another woman before, not even in college. She didn't have problems with gay people, she didn't believe that it was morally wrong or anything. It just wasn't her. Of course she loved Emily. But as a friend, not like _that._

_Not __like __that_.

…

Aside from the trip to interview Heather, JJ hadn't spent much time dwelling on the status of her relationship or feelings with Emily. As soon as the two of them returned to the BAU, JJ's head was back in the case, and all her time was spent with Penelope. She had even taken the lead on negotiating with the unsub. While it had ended badly for him, JJ was just glad to have gotten Monica out of the house alive.

Exhausted and relieved that the case was over, JJ had collapsed into bed immediately upon returning home. Her exhausted brain had no defenses, and as she drifted off to sleep next to a snoring Will, memories of a certain brunette snuck into her head. Too tired to argue with herself, she couldn't do anything but let them take over, wondering if the object of her dreams was dreaming about her too.

…


	7. Chapter 7: SelfFulfilling Prophecy

A/N: I apologize for the delay...the next chapter should be coming soon as well. Thank you everyone for reading! Please let me know what you think! And as always, much love and thanks to my incredible and dedicated beta, Zuzana, without whom this would not be nearly as good.

Chapter 7: "Self-fulfilling Prophecy"

Things seemed to get worse between JJ and Emily as the weeks progressed. Instead of her mental compartments providing the usual fortress of numbness and apathy, Emily found herself struggling to even be in the blonde woman's presence every day. She was having a more difficult time managing the resentment and pain she felt towards JJ than she'd anticipated. Listening to JJ talk or joke with the team brought up that whole ball of emotions that Emily struggled to control. Seeing her coworker smile and hearing her laugh made the brunette's heart ache, which immediately made her furious at her own weakness. Then of course she blamed JJ, because admitting that her own feelings had a hand in creating this situation was just too much.

At first, and thankfully, JJ seemed to think that avoiding Emily as much as possible was the best idea as well, so there weren't very many times when Emily found herself having to deal with JJ one-on-one. This helped Emily's mental sanity, as well as her ability to focus on work, and despite her apparent weakness for young, blonde, FBI media liaisons-turned-profilers, Emily _was _a Prentiss, _and _a profiler. Which meant that she knew how to play "pretend happy" and hide her real feelings with the best of them.

After a few weeks, though, it suddenly seemed as if JJ was over the awkwardness of the situation, and had started reaching out to Emily. She would come over to chat with Morgan and Reid, and turn to try and actively include Emily in the conversation. Last week, Emily found herself in a little corner of hell when she got stuck riding the elevator with JJ. Instead of their usual awkward silence, JJ had insisted on trying to make small talk, which had caused Emily to stand there, counting the floors in a silent fury, and praying JJ would take the hint and stop talking to her.

But she didn't. And things only got worse for Emily, as JJ seemed insistent on pretending that nothing had ever happened and things between them were going to get back to how they were pre-kiss. She had even brought Emily tea at her desk one day, but the look of shock and less-than-enthusiastic response from the brunette seemed to scare her away from such blatant gestures.

Emily was hoping this week would be better than the previous three.

_You'd think someone as intelligent as her would be able to take a fucking hint_, she thought, remembering the tea incident as she stepped onto the elevator up to the BAU. It was Monday, and Emily had brought her _own_ tea today, just to avoid giving JJ an excuse.

"Morning Prentiss," Morgan greeted her as she entered the bullpen. "Did you have a nice weekend?"

Emily saw that JJ and Reid had already arrived as well, and she cursed herself for stopping for the tea as the blonde woman turned to face her.

"Nothing too special," Emily said, making sure to only address Derek. She gave a slight nod in the direction of the younger two agents as she unloaded her bag and coat at her desk. "Didn't you go to a basketball game or something?" She turned back to Morgan again, careful to avoid eye contact with JJ, although she could feel the blonde woman's eyes on her.

"Yeah!" Derek smiled. "Georgetown. I had a great time. And a great date," he winked. Emily rolled her eyes, as per her usual response to her coworker's social life.

"Hello my pretties!" Emily turned to see Penelope Garcia hurrying across the room. "I hate to infect you all with a case of the Mondays, but it seems as though we do indeed have a case."

"Of the Mondays?" Reid asked, with an adorable confundedness at Penelope's word choice. Immediately, JJ caught Emily's eye and smiled. For the briefest of seconds Emily almost forgot about everything, and began to smile back, caught up in their usual amusement over Reid's particularities.

_Stop it._ The voice in Emily's head caught her mid-grin, and Emily dropped her eyes quickly. _DAMN it._

She cursed herself. This was exactly why she was so annoyed with JJ. _She can't just pretend everything's fine! What, it's suddenly okay for her to be around me? Not afraid of catching the "gay" anymore, Jayj? Ugh. _

Emily turned her back on the group and shuffled through her bag to busy herself as the anger boiled up inside her. It was anger at herself, mostly, but she'd never admit that. She hated feeling the way she did about JJ, and she hated that her feelings hadn't gone away even after JJ had freaked out about their kiss.

"Perhaps that too," Emily heard Penelope saying behind her. "But we actually have a case. Hotch wants you all in the conference room in two minutes."

"Got it, Princess," Morgan said to the technical analyst and grabbed his ipad from his desk. "Nothin' like a first-thing-Monday-morning case, huh kid?" The older agent ruffled Reid's hair as he walked past him, following Penelope to the briefing.

Emily grabbed her tablet and followed as well, avoiding looking at Reid, who would certainly have a disgruntled look on his face, and at JJ, who was certainly trying to catch Emily's eye to laugh about it.

…

Upon entering the conference room, Emily immediately knew there was something significant about this case, as Section Chief Strauss was seated at the round table.

_Fantastic_, she thought, already in a bad mood because of her slip-up with JJ minutes before. _Another person I really don't want to deal with today._

Emily respected Strauss and her position, but detested the way the woman was so concerned with politics and kissing the Director's ass.

Ironically enough, Emily was left to take the seat next to Strauss, as it was either that or beside JJ, and at this point Emily wasn't going to put herself in _that_ position, no matter what the alternative.

Hotch began the briefing right away, explaining that five cadets had been found hanged at Somerville Military Academy in Oceanside, Florida. It appeared as though the group of boys had committed mass suicide while on a camping trip, but nothing could be determined for certain without visiting the scene, which meant the team was going to Florida.

"Now who takes sheets camping?" Rossi mused, looking at the photos of five bodies hanging from tree limbs by what appeared to be bed sheets. There had been similar incident at the school a few weeks prior when one young cadet hung himself in his room, using a sheet.

"They would if it was the plan," JJ piped up. "Could be a domino effect."

"Hm," Rossi nodded, taking in what JJ had said. "Campus would have been on high alert after the first one, so the kids wait until they're alone in the woods…" he continued, working out the scenario as he spoke.

Hotch interjected, explaining that the boys were alone camping in the woods on some sort of outward-bound experience for upperclassmen.

"The campus is completely off the grid," he continued. "There's no internet."

"I can help with that," Penelope perked up from beside the Unit Chief .

"Which is why you're coming with us," Hotch answered matter-of-fact, and Garcia looked quietly pleased.

"And so am I."

Emily started as Strauss spoke up from beside her, speaking in a rather self-important tone. There was visible movement around the table as the other agents shifted uncomfortably at the Section Chief's announcement.

"Isn't Somerville the Director's alma mater?" Rossi asked, doing well to hide the fact that he knew very well that it was, and that _that_ was the reason Strauss was inviting herself along.

"Yes," Strauss nodded emphatically. "The Academy has enjoyed a _spotless_ reputation, so the hope is to keep the investigation in-house."

Emily exchanged a glance with Hotch over Strauss's head, knowing that Strauss was going to be a pain in the field, especially if she was trying to control the investigation to how she saw politically fit.

"I imagine there's a lot of concern for Josh," Emily said, breaking the uncomfortable silence and looking away from Hotch. She avoided looking to her right, where the Section Chief was seated. "He's been in those woods almost a week."

"Yeah, how is he surviving?" JJ spoke, looking up from her tablet and meeting Emily's eyes across the table. Emily immediately broke the eye contact, shrugging and looking down at the table. She suppressed annoyance at JJ for directly addressing _her_, and exerted significant effort on trying to stay focused on the case as the briefing continued.

…

Forty-five minutes later, Emily was sitting uncomfortably on the jet, waiting for them to take off. She was significantly irritated at the fact that JJ had chosen, out of all the available seats, to sit immediately next to her. She hadn't acknowledged the blonde as she sat down, and now Emily could feel JJ getting ready to attempt conversation.

At that moment Strauss strode onto the plane, saving Emily from having to endure any of JJ's small talk. "There's still no sign of Josh Redding," the Section Chief announced as she took an open seat, referencing the one cadet who'd been camping but not found hanged with the other five.

"We'll join the search," Hotch offered, as he came through the door behind her. His demeanor always shifted slightly when Strauss was around, and it drove Emily crazy. She didn't care for Strauss's priorities, which always seemed to revolve around kissing someone's ass.

"So," Penelope spoke up, starting to give her normally televised continuation of the briefing in person. "The Somerville Academy was founded during World War II. It is _hardcore _old school – they don't even have a website."

Emily frowned at the information sheet she was holding. "The socio-economic breakdown is all over the map," she said, thinking it odd that the admissions data showed such a varied student body.

"Yeah, so are the ages," JJ added. Emily didn't look up. She was annoyed; JJ seemed to be tagging onto every thing that she said today.

_And WHY is she sitting so damn close to me right now?_

Emily shifted slightly, trying to put more distance between herself and the blonde without making it obvious. She knew she was probably making things up in her head – _again_ – but it really seemed like the past couple days JJ had been hanging around her. She'd look up and catch JJ's eyes fixed on her; nearly every time she spoke, JJ had something to add, and it was always in agreement.

_Like she's trying to get back on my good side or something_…

It was all very confusing to Emily, considering the three weeks before had been nothing but the two of them definitely avoiding each other.

"Same administration has worked there for a lifetime." Morgan commented, and Emily looked up as Strauss spoke again, adding that most of the administration were also alumni of the school.

Morgan shook his head at her statement. "These types of places have their own type of infrastructure. If it ain't broken, they ain't gonna fix it."

"That's probably why they banned modern technology," Emily mused, flipping through the pamphlet in her hand.

"Didn't need it back then, don't need it now."

_Again? Seriously?_

The sound of JJ's voice drew Emily's gaze. Their eyes met and JJ raised her eyebrows, as if trying to emphasize her skepticism about the school. Emily just stared at her before turning back towards the group. Her walls were firmly in place, and she wasn't about to change that just because JJ suddenly wanted to be all friendly. Professional, she could be, but putting up with JJ's dumb (_adorable_) comments was more than she needed.

…

When the team arrived in Florida, Emily and Rossi immediately went up to the woods to assess the scene while the others met with Colonel Massey, the director of the school. Emily enjoyed working with Rossi. He was a great friend, and an amazing profiler, and being around him at work relaxed her - especially after such a frustrating morning. She was finally able to settle in and do what she was good at: her job.

After an hour or so in the woods talking with Tawes, the man second in command to the Colonel, Emily and Rossi returned to campus. It was on the ride back that Emily noticed the poison ivy rash appearing on her arm.

"God damn it," she swore, unable to stop scratching up and down both her forearms. Rossi just laughed.

"I'm sure Garcia or JJ will have something you can put on it when we get back to the library," he said smiling. "But you shouldn't scratch." Emily just shot him a pointed look and silently prayed that Garcia would be the one with the medicine.

_The only possible way poison ivy could be more of a nuisance would be if it forced me to have a conversation with JJ_, Emily thought. She knew she was being immature, getting all worked up about the possibility of a conversation. It's not like she had to go to dinner with JJ, or be her partner on the case. _But still_, she pouted, holding onto to her feelings of resentment towards the blonde. _She's being so annoying and me asking her for help would just make it seem like I'm suddenly okay with everything too._ It didn't help that she knew her resentment was really just fear about her emotional attachment in disguise.

…

"Leaves of three, let them be," Rossi announced as the two entered the library where Reid and Garcia were examining something on one of Garcia's computers. Emily just kept scratching her arms.

"Oh god, poison ivy!" Penelope exclaimed, turning to her all-containing bag and pulling out some alcohol swabs for her itchy coworker.

"Thank you," Emily sighed. She was especially grateful that apparent her prayers had been answered, since it had been Garcia, and not JJ, to give her relief.

"You know," she said, turning to a grinning Rossi. "If I've got it, so do you."

"I'm Italian," the older man said. "It knows better."

"Ha," Emily rolled her eyes and gratefully took the swabs from Garcia. At that moment, Hotch and the rest of the team joined them.

"JJ, how are Josh's parents?" Hotch asked as they entered the room, and Emily instinctively looked up at the sound of the blonde's name. She couldn't help looking at her for a brief second, and it was moments like that which made Emily so determined to keep away from JJ. She was certainly not going to acknowledge it, but she _still_ couldn't help feeling fluttery at the sight of the young blonde. And that's what made her so angry.

"Upset," JJ answered Hotch's question. "They sent him here to keep him _away_ from trouble."

The Unit Chief nodded understandingly as the team took seats around Garcia's set-up.

"Tawes made it seem like these guys are the only family they have," Emily said, her attention away from the blonde and back on the case. She couldn't keep the slight hint of the suspicion she felt for the school out of her voice.

"You make it sound like it's a cult," Strauss interjected, giving Emily a look that clearly communicated she did not appreciate the agent's tone.

"Well, it _kind of is_," Rossi said, coming to Emily's defense. The brunette smiled inwardly at Her partner's emphatic comment.

Strauss, though, was having none of it. "This is a well-respected institution," she said, sharing the same stern look she'd given Emily with Rossi as well.

"Hey, they're not on trial," Rossi interjected, before the Section Chief could continue. He was obviously sharing Emily's annoyance of Strauss's priority for politics in this case.

JJ caught Emily's eye across the table and raised her eyebrows as if to say that she too agreed with Emily and didn't understand why Strauss was being so defensive.

The look thoroughly irked Emily.

_What are we like besties now, sharing secret glances right under the teacher's nose? _Emily was frustrated, and really didn't understand JJ's continuing behavior. _You're the one who freaked out because we kissed, now you want to be best friends again?_

The infuriating truth was that she missed JJ more than ever. She missed their shared secret glances, their jokes, teasing Reid together…she missed being close to JJ, and the comfort she'd felt knowing JJ cared about her. JJ had always made Emily text her when she arrived home after they returned from a case late at night. Emily had teased her about it, and acted like she was annoyed – "I'm a grown woman, I can take care of myself!" she had said – but secretly she liked knowing that JJ cared about her enough to worry about her. Emily even missed their online Scrabble games, which had continued intermittently after Emily returned from France.

But everything had changed three weeks ago.

_That stupid fucking kiss._

Emily barely let herself think of it, or dwell on how things were before because if she was honest with herself, it hurt too much. She was still in love with JJ and if she even let herself think that, she would lose all resolve she had.

"Massey said he never got any respect from Josh," Hotch was saying in response to Dave's comments about their trip to the woods. Emily looked up, bringing her attention back to the room and tried again to push her frustration at JJ out of her head.

"Josh's own parents said he was impossible to control," JJ spoke up again, looking at Hotch. Her eyes travelled back to Emily, who immediately averted her gaze.

"His course-load indicates increased isolation," Reid commented, and Emily looked around the table at her colleagues. She had a bad feeling about where this was going.

"Isolated, smart, angry," she counted. "That could be a budding psychopath…" JJ again met Emily's eyes and nodded in agreement.

"What are you saying," Strauss butted in, sounding appalled. "That Josh Redding killed his classmates?" No one spoke as they all began to process what this would mean for the case. "Then he's not missing, he's on the run," Strauss concluded.

"And he has been for a week," Morgan added, looking significantly worried.

"With all the skills he could ever need," Emily muttered, saying out loud what they all were thinking. _This just got a lot more complicated,_ she thought to herself, looking down and tracing over the line of red bumps on her arm.

"Well, this changes things," Hotch said, breaking the silence that had befallen the team after Emily's comment. "We'll have to talk to Massey about this. But it's late now, so it'll wait until the morning. Go get some rest." At his dismissal, there was a flurry of movement around the table.

"Hey, Garcia," Emily called from her seat. "Do you have another alcohol swab? This stuff is really killing me."

Garcia gave Emily a concerned look. "I'll check dahling, hang on."

"What happened to your arm?" JJ had gotten up from her chair and started to move around the table towards Emily.

"Erm, poison ivy," Emily mumbled, really wanting JJ to keep her distance. She stood up and walked towards Garcia, hoping that JJ would let it go and take the hint.

"I think I actually have some lotion with anti-itch cream in my bag," JJ was following Emily around the table.

_This would be comical if she wasn't so damn annoying_, Emily thought, still moving away with JJ following.

"It's from when I got poison ivy really bad when we were in Colorado. I could go get it – "

"It's fine," Emily cut her off. "These alcohol swabs are really helping." She glanced up at JJ, who was looking slightly taken aback at the harshness of Emily's tone. "But thanks," the brunette added quickly, not wanting it to seem like she'd _meant_ to be harsh.

_Which of course you did._

Ignoring herself, she nodded gratefully at Garcia and turned to leave the library. She just wanted to get away from everyone and go to bed.

…

The next day, while Morgan, Hotch and Strauss were out talking to Massey, the rest of the team conferred over breakfast.

"Ok," Emily said between bites of her scrambled eggs. "So how did he do it? How did Josh control five strong kids?"

Eyebrows went up around the table, but no one had any ideas to offer.

"Well, and what does 'we're sorry' mean, if it wasn't written for suicide?" JJ asked as she reached for a photo of the crime scene. "What if Josh wanted them to apologize for something?" She looked up at Emily, who nodded in agreement at the idea, but didn't let her eyes linger long on JJ's.

"For their sins?" Emily offered, looking back down at her food, and not quite sure if the explanation fit. "There's no record of bad behavior, but all of these guys were alpha males." She gestured to the evidence board where pictures of all the victims and Josh were hanging. "They were all upperclassmen who might've bullied Bailey."

"The message was carved under Tucker Calhoun's tree for a reason," Rossi said as Emily took another bite of her breakfast.

"Yeah, we definitely need to know more about that kid," she agreed through a mouthful of eggs. Across the table, JJ chuckled, and sparkled her blue eyes in Emily's direction.

_Good lord. _Emily looked down at her food so JJ wouldn't see her rolling her eyes. _This is getting really old._

It's obvious she really wants to be friends again.

_Yeah, well…no. We are friends. We're coworkers. And we're friendly. That's enough._

You're not friendly, you never talk, and you can hardly even look at her.

_Yeah well she made it pretty clear she didn't want to be around me after what happened, so I don't really see how I'm doing anything wrong._

Maybe she was just caught off guard by everything and didn't know how to act. Maybe it doesn't matter that much to her anymore and –

_The whole "I'm not gay" thing was really hardly her just being "caught off guard." And SHE was the one who could barely look at ME in the beginning, so I'm just giving her what she wants._

"What are you looking at?" Garcia's voice interrupted Emily's mental boxing match.

"The M.E.'s report," Reid replied as all heads around the table turned to look at him. "Only one of the five victims had fractures consistent with a hanging."

"Which one?" Emily asked, leaning forward, trying to get a glimpse of the report in front of Reid.

"Tucker Calhoun."

Emily sat back in her chair and let out a sigh.

"Sheesh," Garcia breathed, in a sort of terrified awe. "Who _is_ this guy?"

"Staging the crime scene," Rossi spoke. "Josh is more sophisticated than we thought."

"And vindictive," Emily pushed the last few bites of her breakfast around her plate as she spoke. "He wanted Tucker to suffer. The question is _why._" The other profilers around the table nodded, but were silent. Emily continued eating her breakfast, while Reid stood up and announced he was going to take a walk around and see if he could get a look into the laundry room. Rossi volunteered to accompany him, and the breakfast briefing broke up as the two men headed out the door.

Emily was trying to finish the last bites of her meal before going to see what Hotch and Morgan had found out, but found herself delayed by the most unwelcome of company.

"Hey Em, I brought you some of that lotion." The brunette looked up to see JJ approaching her with a bottle of calamine lotion in one hand and a package of cotton in the other.

"I…" the elder profiler hesitated, unable to think of a valid excuse to refuse the ointment, as she had been scratching her arms all morning. "I'm fine, I-"

"I have cotton balls too," JJ said hurriedly, before Emily could protest further. She was already opening the package of cotton balls and loading one up with lotion. "Here, let me see your arm."

"Um, I can do it myself, thanks," Emily snapped, recoiling from JJ's outstretched hand. She was utterly horrified at the thought of JJ touching her. _What is wrong with her, seriously?_

"Right. Yeah," JJ answered, shaking her head and holding out the lotion-laden piece of cotton. "Sorry." For a second Emily felt guilty about her snippy tone, but she tried to justify herself with anger at JJ.

_She can't just act this way all of the sudden! Like we're old, close, pals!_

You kind of are.

_Not anymore! That changed weeks ago and after how she's been acting for the past two weeks, I don't know what she expects from me._

Emily was concentrating on dabbing the lotion on her arm, arguing with herself, and ignoring the fact that JJ was still standing in front of her.

"You know," JJ paused, and Emily looked up at the sound of a sort of desperate defiance in her coworker's voice. Emily's direct gaze seemed to startle JJ, but she held her ground.

"Look, Emily," she said, and as she continued to speak her blue eyes softened. "I'm sorry about…everything. About how things have been between us. I know it's my fault" – Emily raised her eyebrows at the words and returned to tending to her arm – "And I'm not proud of how I've acted," JJ continued earnestly. "But I don't want things to continue like this." JJ paused again, laughing slightly, which caused Emily to look up.

"What?" The brunette asked, wanting to know what JJ could be finding humorous right now.

"It just," JJ smiled and looked shyly away from Emily's piercing brown eyes. "This is just reminding me a lot of our conversation in your kitchen."

Emily had no idea how to take what JJ was saying. All the hurt from the "kiss aftermath" burned too intensely to allow her to simply fall back into that flirty banter with JJ. And she couldn't believe that JJ would bring up that night, not after how she reacted. Which made Emily angrier. She was torn between wanting to yell at JJ and tell her just how ridiculous her mood-swinging behavior had been and just stonewalling, letting JJ finish whatever schpiel she had and then leaving. She glanced over to see Garcia sitting at a computer across the room, and decided the yelling should wait.

"What about it?" she asked bluntly, looking up at JJ, her expression devoid of emotion.

"I- just…" JJ seemed surprised at Emily's reaction. "Nothing. I just meant that that's what I came to talk to you about, because things were…" JJ trailed off as Emily just continued to stare, unresponsive. The blonde woman shook her head. "Nevermind!" She said, with a forced cheeriness. "Are you finished with the lotion?"

"Yeah," Emily answered, having only put it on one of her arms, but just as eager to get out of this conversation as JJ apparently was. "Thanks."

"No problem," JJ said, not looking at Emily as she gathered the bottle of lotion and cotton and turned to leave.

After watching JJ exit the library, Emily sunk down in her chair and covered her face with her hands.

_Why? Why does this have to be so fucking painful?_

She hated herself for being cruel to JJ. The pained look on JJ's face contrasted with the smile she had worn seconds before, broke Emily's heart.

_But I can't…I just…can't._

Sighing, Emily ran her hands through her hair and closed her eyes. She was going to have to pull herself together. She couldn't keep being so dismissive and just_...mean_ to JJ.

_Why is everything so difficult when it comes to her?_

She knew the answer, and the thought of it just made the situation worse. Rubbing her eyes she tried to forget the last three weeks of her life.

"Prentiss?"

_Shit._

Emily sat up and opened her eyes to see Morgan standing in front of her.

"Hey," she said, busying herself with collecting her breakfast debris from the table.

"Everything okay?" her colleague asked, a look of genuine concern written into his brow.

Emily stood up, holding the empty food container. "Yeah!" She chirped, hoping her frustrations from earlier were neatly hidden away, no longer displayed plainly on her face. "I'm just a little tired, but I'm good." Morgan continued to look at the brown-haired agent with concern.

"Alright," he said, not moving or changing his expression. "But you know, if you need anything or need to talk about anything…you got people." The young man gestured to himself with the statement.

Emily smiled, truly appreciating the care displayed by her coworker. "I know that," she said, returning his look of sincerity. "But really, I'm fine."

Morgan nodded. "Well in that case, Rossi was looking for you. He wanted to go question some cadets."

"Sounds fun," she joked and Morgan gave her a wry smile as they both left the library.

...

Emily and Rossi spent the rest of the morning talking with various cadets around the campus. They discovered that the school employed a point reward system, that seemed somehow related to the deaths of the five boys in the woods. Especially when they discovered that Josh wasn't supposed to be on the camping trip because he didn't have enough points, but Massey had sent him anyway.

Sometime during the mid-afternoon, Tawes called to say that he had found the father of the first boy to commit suicide, Bailey Shelton, dead in the woods. Hotch sent Emily and Rossi out to see the body and the site. Emily enjoyed the escape from the campus, although Mr. Shelton's death appeared especially painful. After their examination and collection of Mr. Shelton's possessions as evidence, she and Rossi returned to the library where JJ had Garcia going through looking for students who were having trouble with authority.

"Look for kids who had disciplinary issues before they came here," JJ was instructing Garcia as the technical analyst typed away at one of her laptops. Emily listened to the two agents' conversation as she set down Mr. Shelton's backpack and started removing items.

Nothing seemed to come up from Garcia's search, so JJ had begun to go over her conversation with the Medical Examiner from earlier that day.

"The M.E. said Bailey had blisters and burns, his fingertips were raw, his trachea had internal scarring…" JJ listed off.

"Guys," Reid piped up, sounding excited as he did when he had come to a major revelation. "That could be damage done inside an industrial-sized dryer!"

"Oh my god," Garcia breathed, utterly horrified.

"That's how Massey is breaking these boys," JJ said, in similar horrified awe.

"No, no," Garcia protested, clearly not wanting to believe something so disgusting. "In all the materials it says they don't believe in corporal punishment!"

Rossi, who was standing next to Emily, going through Mr. Shelton's things, spoke up. "Bailey writes about each of those boys and how they bullied him," he said, indicating to the small notebook he was holding.

"His father must've read it and wants revenge," Reid responded eagerly.

"Well, does it mention Josh?" JJ's attention had turned to where Emily and Rossi were standing.

"Not at all," the older man said and JJ shook her head with incomprehension.

"Then why would Chris Shelton go after him?"

Emily, who had paused her own examination of the evidence to listen to her colleagues exchange thoughts, suddenly had an idea.

"What if Massey lied to Chris Shelton?" She said, turning to look at JJ.

"And set Josh up," Rossi continued, clearly on the same page.

Emily nodded enthusiastically. "And he convinced Shelton that _Josh_ was responsible for Bailey's suicide."

"It still doesn't explain how he found the secluded woods," JJ said, meeting Emily's eyes for a brief second, but looking away quickly. Emily felt a pang of guilt, knowing it was her actions earlier that were responsible for the change in JJ's behavior.

"Where's Mr. Shelton's phone?" Reid asked, and Emily held up the cell phone she'd found in the backpack recovered from the woods.

"It's got a couple of contacts on it," she said as browsed through the contents. "Somerville Academy being one of them."

"Any unknowns?" Reid asked. "Tawes has a cell."

"No way!" Emily exclaimed looking up from the phone in surprise. "Lieutenant No-Tech?" She scoffed and shook her head, returning to look through the phone's recent activity. "Well, there's a few unknowns…there's one, it's a text. It looks like phone numbers."

"What are they?" Reid asked, pulling out a pen.

Emily read off the numbers and everyone watched Reid's mind working as he wrote them down.

"Those aren't phone numbers, that's latitude and longitude," the young doctor said as he strode to the map on the wall.

"Right where those boys were camping," Rossi said, not having to wait for Reid to find the exact point. They all knew what this meant.

"Oh my god," Garcia said, again horrorstruck. Emily nodded grimly and walked out the door to find Hotch and relay the latest breakthrough. Her mind was ticking away, sorting out the details of the case, but she hadn't failed to notice that JJ was now routinely avoiding her eyes, and she had sat picking her nails and staring at the table every time Emily had spoken.

…

That evening, the team was gathered back in the library to plan their approach, now that they knew Massey and Tawes were out to eliminate Josh.

"We need to find Josh before Tawes does," Hotch said, and the discussion began about where Josh would go if he was trying to escape. Garcia discovered that Chris Shelton drove a truck, and upon Rossi's confirmation that neither him nor Emily had found keys on Mr. Shelton's body or in his belongings, they realized how Josh would be making his getaway.

"We need to divide up," Hotch commanded.

Twenty minutes later, it was Hotch and Morgan who found Tawes and Josh brawling on the side of the road near Mr. Shelton's pickup truck. Luckily, they had arrived before either one could do any real damage to the other.

The following morning, Morgan arrested Colonel Massey for giving Chris Shelton the coordinates to find Josh in the woods. They all stood and watched as Massey was taken away in handcuffs, and Josh was reunited with his parents. All in all, it was a fairly happy ending for one of their cases, Emily thought. However, she couldn't help but feel as though her actions towards JJ had maybe been too harsh. Seeing the blonde avoid her with a kind of reserved pain was different than JJ's previous attitude, which had mainly been of discomfort. Emily felt guilty, though she remained frustrated with herself for her weakness when it came to JJ.

...

When the team returned to Quantico, Hotch gave everyone the choice of staying and finishing paperwork, or heading home early. JJ had immediately left, and Emily also opted to go home. She was exhausted, and not just because of the case. This was one instance where more work wouldn't help and she really just needed a long nap.

_And maybe a large glass of wine._

Upon arriving at her condo, Emily had done just that, falling asleep as soon as she hit her couch, even though it was only four-thirty in the afternoon.

She hadn't realized she'd even fallen asleep until she woke up. Sitting up in a sleepy haze, she was confused at the darkness outside. She looked across the kitchen and saw the clock on the microwave blinking 1:28am.

_Jesus_, she thought. _How the hell did I sleep that long?_ Her stomach growled and she realized she hadn't eaten anything since the handful of pretzels she'd had on the jet that morning.

She rubbed her eyes and was going to get up from the couch when her phone rang. Jumping at the sudden noise piercing her silent apartment, she frantically dug around in her purse for the device.

_I really don't want another case, _she thought, dreading picking up the phone to hear Hotch on the other end telling her to come in. She flipped her phone open without looking at the caller id display.

"Prentiss," she said, the sleep evident in her voice.

"Emily_?_" Instead of Hotch, she heard a barely recognizable female voice coming through between sobs. "Em? Please I-I_-_" The woman's sentence dissolved into muffled crying.

Emily was shocked, and immediately knew something was wrong.

"_JJ?_"

...~...


	8. Chapter 8: The Bittersweet Science

Thank you all for your fantastic reviews! I hope you enjoy this extra long chapter.

**Chapter 8: "The Bittersweet Science"**

Emily was sitting on her couch, straining to hear the voice on the other end of the phone.

"JJ?" She said again, almost positive that the few words and muffled crying she had heard seconds before belonged to her blonde coworker. What on earth could possibly be happening to cause JJ to call her crying at 1:30 in the morning though, Emily had no idea. And it really worried her.

"JJ is that you? What's going on?" Emily asked again, trying to keep her voice calm.

She heard a few more quick sobs, some soft sniffling and then the familiar, though shaky, voice of Jennifer Jareau coming from the other end of the line.

"Yeah," JJ whispered hoarsely. When she didn't say anything else, Emily spoke again.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she clapped her hand to her forehead, a hundred different scenarios running through her head. "Is everything okay? Is Henry okay?"

"Yeah, uh, Henry's fine," JJ answered. Her words were muffled and slightly slurred, though Emily wasn't sure if that was due to her crying of if JJ had been drinking. "Hesat my mom's. I just, I just…" Her words ran together before dissolving into more tears.

_Yeah, she's definitely been drinking, _Emily thought at hearing JJ speak again.

There was another moment of silence, and she wasn't quite sure if JJ was still there.

"Jayj?" Emily said worriedly, prodding the young woman to continue.

JJ let out a small hiccup, but remained silent for another beat before speaking.

"Will and I hadda fight," she blurted out suddenly. "I left. I couldn't be there anymore Em, I just had to…" The rest of her sentence was lost in resumed crying. Emily wasn't sure what was going on, or why JJ had called her instead of someone like Penelope, given everything that had happened between them recently. Regardless, Emily couldn't help her heart's reaction to JJ in tears.

"Hey…hey, JJ, it's okay," She soothed, trying to calm the sobbing woman. JJ inhaled sharply, trying to get control of herself. "Where are you, JJ?" Emily was seriously worried about an intoxicated, upset JJ getting behind the wheel of a car.

"I'm sorry, Emily," JJ said, seeming not to have heard Emily's question over her crying. "I'm so sorry. I diddinknow who else to call and I…I can't go back there right now."

_Shit. You cannot let her come over here. Tell her to call Garcia. You cannot play the comforter right now. Not to her._

"It's okay," Emily said again softly, as JJ continued to cry quietly over the phone. "Jayj, it's alright. Tell me where you are and I'll come get you."

_What? Didn't I just say you CAN'T have her coming over here all emotional? Hello? Remember what happened last time she brought all her emotions over? You are just setting yourself up for – _

"Inner parkinlot," JJ's tearful voice interrupted Emily's inner scolding.

"What?" Emily wasn't sure if she understood correctly. "In my parking lot?"

JJ sniffed quietly. "Yeah."

"You _drove here_?" Emily was about to launch into a full-scale rant about the recklessness of her driving drunk, but stopped herself short. "JJ," she sighed, as she walked over and unlocked her front door. "Just come in." Emily stepped outside and saw the figure of her coworker emerging from a car parked a few rows back.

"Come on," she called, beckoning the teetering figure toward her open door. "God, JJ," Emily said when she saw the young woman's eyes, swollen from crying. Reaching to put her arm around her, she led JJ through the front door. "Come on, I'll make you some tea."

JJ nodded appreciatively as they shuffled into Emily's kitchen.

"I'm so sorry," she said immediately as Emily left her side to put a kettle on the stove. "I called Penelope, but she…" JJ trailed off, her eyes filling with tears. Shaking her head and obviously trying not to cry, she wiped her eyes quickly. "Um, she didn't answer," she finished, swallowing back more tears.

"It's okay," Emily said again, coming away from the stove. She was quickly realizing that the situation was probably just as awkward for JJ, given how their last interaction had gone. "Really," she emphasized, trying to communicate her sincerity to the blonde woman in front of her. "You really shouldn't have driven though," Emily scolded softly, as she helped JJ out of her coat. As she did so, Emily couldn't help but notice how beautiful JJ looked, even with her face all red and puffy from crying. She was just wearing yoga pants and a tank top, with a sweater thrown over top. The sweater had fallen down on one side though, revealing her bare shoulder underneath the strap of her shirt. Emily's eyes lingered the faint cluster of freckles on the exposed skin.

"I know," JJ nodded, brushing a loose strand of hair from her face, and Emily looked back into her watery blue eyes. "I just didn't know what to do, I had to get out, I was so angry – "

"Hey, shh," Emily could see that JJ was getting worked up and pulled her into a hug as the young woman began to cry again. She had no idea what had happened, but she couldn't stand to see JJ so distraught. She stood there, stroking the blonde's hair, as she sobbed into Emily's chest. "Shh," Emily soothed, kissing the top of JJ's head. There were a hundred things being screamed inside Emily's brain at that moment. Part of her was yelling about how she needed to keep her distance, how she should offer to drive JJ to Garcia's or her mother's, or anywhere but Emily's living room. Another part was too intoxicated by the scent of JJ's head to do anything. And yet another (very related) part just wanted to hold JJ close and make everything better. It was the latter part that was winning at the moment.

"Come sit down," Emily whispered, pulling away slightly from the embrace and looking down to see JJ's face.

"Okay," the young woman nodded and allowed herself to be led to Emily's couch.

"Oh I'll get the tea," Emily said as she heard the kettle whistle. She handed JJ a blanket and walked back into the kitchen.

_Prentiss? Hello? What are you doing? _

Shut up, Emily commanded the obnoxious voice in her head that was trying very hard to get her attention. She took the kettle from the stove and focused on pouring two cups of tea.

_All I'm saying is there is a fine line between being her friend and being there for her, and letting all your feelings take over. _

Shut. Up.

Emily took the two large mugs and carried them to the couch, where JJ was huddled beneath the blanket.

"Here you go," she said, setting one down on the coffee table in front of her friend, and sitting down on the other end of the couch. Maybe it was better to keep some distance between them, at least when JJ wasn't crying.

"Thank you," JJ sniffed, wrapping her hands around the warm mug. She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. She seemed significantly more sober than she had just ten minutes previous.

After a moment of silence, the blonde turned to look at Emily, her eyes once again brimming with tears.

"I am so sorry to come here like this Em," she said, her voice steady, though a tear slipped down her cheek. "I'm a mess, I'm drunk, I'm a mess…" Emily set down her mug and moved closer, reaching her arm around the young woman's back. JJ shook her head, indicating she wanted to continue speaking.

"Will and I went out to dinner," she said, setting down her tea and struggling to keep her composure. "And, well, we were drinking." She glanced at Emily, who was listening attentively. "Henry is at my mom's," JJ explained, and Emily knew she felt the need to make it clear she wasn't being a bad mother.

"Anyway, we'd both had a lot to drink by the time we got back to the house," JJ paused, picking up her tea again and taking a sip. "At some point, we started talking about work and he just got really angry," she continued, staring down into her cup. "I don't even know how it started really." She set the mug down again, and leaned back against the couch, not looking at Emily.

"We started arguing – we always do when the work comes up – and he started slamming things around and saying that I'd promised him I was done with the BAU when I went to work for the State Department, and how," she paused again, her voice cracking, "how it's obvious I don't care about him or Henry because I won't leave my job for them." Tears began to trickle down JJ's cheeks, and Emily moved forward to take her hand.

At her touch, JJ looked gratefully at Emily and squeezed her hand before taking a deep breath and continuing. "He yelled at me, said I was selfish, that I care more about "dead victims" than I do about our family…" JJ trailed off. "He said that he knows I don't care about him and Henry because I won't marry him." The blonde shook her head, closing her eyes against more tears. "At first I yelled back, we went around and around, but then I just…had to get away from him. I tried to go to bed, but he followed me, he kept going on about it all, telling me I'm just proving his point by walking away. But things have been so bad between us lately, I just couldn't stand to keep fighting." A sob escaped JJ's lips and she took her hand back from Emily to cover her face. Emily's heart was aching, her feelings seemed to have escaped their compartments, as she reached out and ran her hand up and down JJ's shaking back.

"Jayj," Emily whispered, moving again closer to the sobbing woman.

"I just had to get out of there, Emily," JJ said, taking her hands down from her face, and meeting Emily's gaze. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have called you since we're…" JJ glanced down at her hands, her tears falling into her lap.

"It's okay," Emily said before JJ could speak again. "You should have called me. I'm glad that you did." JJ looked back up at her with grateful eyes.

"Thank you," she said, her voice breaking again, and Emily immediately pulled JJ into her arms. She rubbed her back, and stroked her hair as she cried, whispering over and over that everything was going to be okay.

It was too late. Emily's heart had already broken out of its walled-in enclosure and reached out to JJ. She couldn't help it. Holding the smaller woman in her arms felt too right. And Emily wanted nothing more in that moment but to hold all of JJ's heartache away.

They sat that way for a while, JJ clinging to Emily, while she smoothed her hand over JJ's hair and brushed her lips occasionally across the top of her head. After some time, Emily felt JJ's breathing calm into a slower, rhythmic pattern.

"Jayj?" She whispered, tilting her head to try to see if JJ was still awake.

"Mm?" A muffled sound came from Emily's chest.

"Ok," Emily smiled, settled back against the couch and patting JJ's back. "Just checking." They were almost laying together at this point. JJ's feet had come off the floor, and Emily had maneuvered sideways so that the blonde was positioned between her legs, curled against her torso.

"Emily?" JJ's soft voice floated up from between Emily's arms.

"Myeah?" the brunette answered, absent-mindedly running her fingers through the soft blonde hair.

"I'm sorry about how I treated you after…" her voice trailed off, but she didn't need to finish her sentence. Emily knew what JJ was referring to. She kept her hand moving steadily through JJ's hair, but her mind was racing. _What am I supposed to say to that?_ _"It's okay?" Well it wasn't really, was it? But I don't want to make her feel worse – _

"I was being stupid," JJ's voice interrupted Emily's thought. She moved her head slightly to look up at Emily. "I'm really sorry," she said, her blue eyes piercing directly into Emily's. "I didn't know what to think, so I just kind of panicked."

"Yeah, I understand," Emily said quickly. "I don't know what happened either. Just an…accident with all the emotions I guess," she forced a laugh and JJ rested her head against Emily's chest once more. "Yeah…" The blonde said uncertainly, playing with the fabric of Emily's sleeve with her left hand. "An accident."

Emily stared over JJ's head as she resumed stroking the mane of blonde hair. _Right. An "accident."_

"Do you want to go to sleep?" Emily asked, not wanting to stay lost in her own head for long.

JJ didn't answer right away. She just lay there, toying with Emily's sleeve some more. "Well we could just…" She paused, seeming to be deciding on whether or not to follow through with her sentence.

"You can sleep upstairs if you want, and I'll make a bed down here on the couch…" Emily prodded, not sure what it was the blonde wanted to ask or say.

"It's so warm right here though," JJ breathed softly and Emily could feel her smile as she snuggled further into the embrace. Emily's heart skipped a beat at JJ's action, but immediately she chided herself.

_Stop it. She didn't mean it how you think. You CANNOT go back to thinking like that. _

Emily didn't know what to think, but she didn't want to _think_ right now. She was tired of always analyzing and over-analyzing everything JJ did and said. Right now, she decided, she was just going to concentrate on keeping her friend comfortable.

"Okay," Emily smiled, feeling firm in her decision to not think about the position she was currently in. She tightened her arms securely around JJ and nestled further down on the couch. "Okay," she repeated herself in a quiet murmur, lightly kissing the crown of JJ's head before resting her cheek against the swath of soft blonde hair. She felt JJ smile against her again, and the blonde moved to pull the blanket over both of them. Emily couldn't help but smile herself, as she closed her eyes and felt her breathing fall into rhythm with JJ's.

…

After what seemed like hours, Emily woke up with a start. Her body was halfway off the couch, as JJ had some how rolled off of her to wedge herself between Emily and the back of the couch. Emily could hear JJ lightly snoring – _Oh my god she snores? She is so unbelievably adorable._ Sliding herself the rest of the way out from underneath JJ (who barely stirred at the movement), Emily got up from the sofa. She stood, staring down at the blonde woman sleeping soundly on her couch.

_She is so perfect_, Emily thought. She shook her head at herself, for letting herself get so wrapped up in JJ. _God I really need to stop before things get out of hand. What happened to keeping my distance? To holding her accountable for the way she treated me after our kiss?_

Well she _did_ apologize…

_Ugh._ Emily shook her head. Ignoring the thought of what would come the next morning or the day after or the day after that, she adjusted the blanket, pulling it back up around JJ's shoulders. She couldn't resist laying one last soft kiss on her head before stepping away from the couch and heading upstairs. She would have preferred to have JJ sleep upstairs in her bed, but as she seemed perfectly able to sleep soundly on the couch, Emily wasn't about to move her. She just hoped JJ would still be there when she came downstairs the next morning. _Or later this morning, rather_, she thought, checking her cell phone and realizing it was now 4:17am. She had to be up in practically two hours. Sighing and running her hand over her face, she climbed into her bed. She felt significantly less warm and comfy without JJ's body as her blanket, but fell asleep smiling at the not-so-distant memory.

…

"Good morning, sunshine."

Emily was awakened by the sound of JJ's voice. Her eyes fluttered open and she saw the young blonde leaning against the doorway to her bedroom, a steaming mug clasped in her hands. Emily sat up, having to blink a few times to figure out if this was real, or some kind of wonderful dream. JJ standing there in her yoga pants and sweater, holding a cup of coffee and smiling, her loose blonde hair tumbling somehow perfectly over her shoulders after a night's sleep was all too close to the image of Emily's dreams about their life together. Dreams, of course, which Emily would never admit to having.

"Hi," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes and looking around, trying to ascertain what time it was.

"I had to run out to get coffee," JJ gestured to the cup in her hand. "You seem to have gotten rid of all yours with your caffeine cleanse. I found the coffee maker though." Her tone was playful, and she seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the sight of sleepy Emily.

"Uh, yeah, sorry about that," Emily's voice was still hoarse with sleep, and her mind was elated at the thought of JJ making herself at home in her kitchen. "Ahem," she cleared her throat and shook her head. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay," JJ shrugged, pushing herself off the doorjamb and taking a step into Emily's room. "Anyway, I just wanted to check in and make sure you were awake before I left."

"What time is it?" the brunette blinked up at her, finally starting to see clearly and wake up a little bit.

"It's ten til seven," JJ said, sending Emily into a mild panic.

"Shit, I am going to be so late," she said, throwing her blankets off her legs and jumping out of bed. She was already standing in front of JJ when she realized that in the unusual series of events last night, she had gone to bed in her camisole and underwear, having just thrown her clothes on the floor when she moved up to her bed. Suddenly embarrassed, but unsure how to cover herself discreetly, she simply crossed her arms over her chest and stood there awkwardly. Simultaneously, she realized that JJ was in the same time crunch situation as she.

"Yeah, I was pretty much resigned to being late," the blonde spoke from the doorway and Emily looked up to see JJ watching her, a bemused smile playing at her lips. "I have to go home and shower and get clothes anyway. I feel like I smell like a bar."

"Well," Emily said, moving around to the other side of the bed, pretending to have a purpose other than hoping the bed would cover her exposed legs from JJ's view. "Do you just want to shower here?" The two women's eyes met, and for a second it seemed that the same thought, of getting in the shower together, was flashing through both their minds.

_Oh god. I hope she doesn't think that's why I'm offering._ Emily's brain went into full-on panic mode.

"I mean, separately of course," she blurted out. _Jesus Christ. _Emily quickly looked down at her bed, away from JJ, who was grinning broadly, clearly amused at the older woman's flustered panic.

"I just meant," Emily said, concentrating on each word that came out of her mouth in order to avoid another embarrassing comment, "that if you have your go bag, maybe it'd be easier than going home."

"Actually, that would be really helpful," JJ said, still smiling at the brunette. "I do have clean clothes in my car." Emily looked back up at her. "If you really don't mind," she added.

"No, no, that's fine," Emily said, starting to move from behind the bed toward the bathroom, but stopped when she remembered she still wasn't wearing any pants. "Er, you can go first…"

"No, go ahead," JJ said, taking a step back into the hall. "I'm going to run out to my car to grab my bag anyway." Emily nodded as JJ flashed her a grin and turned to go back down the stairs.

_Oh my god._ She hurried into the bathroom and immediately started the water. She was mortified. First jumping out of bed barely clothed, then the word-vomit about the shower…_Good god._ She climbed into the shower before it was hot, but didn't think a cold shower was necessarily a bad thing at this point. She couldn't believe how she had completely lost her cool in front of JJ.

_And um, speaking of JJ, what the hell is going on? _Memories of the previous night came flooding into Emily's head. _She seriously has gone from cold to…friendly in a very short time, and we hardly talked about what happened…_ The thought of that conversation exhausted Emily. Maybe she'd just keep going with the flow and see how things played out. _Except that you're already letting yourself get carried away, so things are probably going to play out badly_.

"Ugh," Emily sighed audibly and stuck her face under the water. She heard JJ coming back in through the front door and pushed all the processing out of her head while she hurried to finish her shower.

…

Forty-five minutes later (and only running about ten minutes late), Emily and JJ were on their way to the BAU. For some reason they had decided it would be easier/faster/better to take one car, so Emily was driving them both. JJ was putting on her make-up as they drove, and Emily couldn't help stealing sideways glances at her immensely beautiful coworker peering into the visor mirror.

"Your driving isn't so conducive to applying my make-up," JJ teased as Emily made a particularly quick stop.

"Sorry," she grimaced, looking over to see JJ wiping eyeliner off her nose. Emily let out a small laugh at the sight, which warranted a pointed look from JJ. She smiled as she turned back to the mirror though, causing Emily's heart to beam.

This was so comfortable, the two of them doing their morning routine together. While JJ had showered, Emily had dressed and fixed toast, leaving one slice on the counter as she usually did while she went to do her hair. JJ had come down and picked it up, like the second slice had always been rightfully hers and it was just waiting for her to be there to claim it.

After the initial awkwardness, they had moved around each other with ease, and their timing seemed to be on about everything- the hairdryer, the bathroom sink, the closet mirror, JJ had even fed Sergio without Emily saying anything about it.

_It just fit_, Emily thought to herself, stealing another look at JJ, who was finishing up her make-up. _It fit so well, it's dangerous. _She knew she shouldn't even be allowing herself to entertain such thoughts. She was (sort of) trying to control them, to ignore the happy feeling of comfort she felt riding in the car with JJ on her way to work.

Although it wasn't like everything was _all_ warm and fuzzy. She still had a hundred different emotions about everything that had happened over the last six and a half hours. There was a large contingent of her brain that had been constantly calling for Emily to run in the opposite direction ever since the blonde had appeared in the parking lot outside her condo.

In any case, Emily didn't have the time or energy to sort through everything now. She was running on about three hours of sleep, and as they pulled into the FBI parking lot, JJ informed her that Hotch had texted that they had a case.

"Looks like a busy week," the younger agent remarked as they exited the car. Emily raised her eyebrows and inhaled sharply, as if bracing herself for the day. "Maybe we'll get to go back to Florida," JJ joked, wrapping her coat tighter around herself. Emily couldn't help but smile at her friend as they walked into the building.

"Maybe," she said, her smile faltering slightly as entering the office seemed to bring her back to reality, and the soft little world they'd built that night faded away.

…

Upon entering the office, Emily and JJ dropped their things off at their desks and headed straight for the conference room, where the rest of the team – sans Hotch and Rossi – was waiting.

"Morning ladies," Penelope smiled as the two walked into the conference room. She looked from JJ to Emily with a hint of questioning in her eye. Emily was praying that no one would think anything of the fact that they both were arriving ten minutes late, and together.

_Right Em, because everyone's first thought is that you two slept together. Seriously, get a hold of yourself. _

Giving Garcia a quick smile, she took her seat with a sigh. Morgan raised an eyebrow in her direction.

"Long night, eh Prentiss?" Suddenly everyone at the table was looking at her, except for JJ, who Emily felt look quickly down at her hands.

_Well we're practically acting like we slept together_, she thought, not sure why it was her instinctive response to be embarrassed at Morgan's question.

"Just seems like it's going to be a long week," she remarked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. She wasn't sure if she pulled it off or not because at that moment Hotch and Rossi were heard coming down the hallway.

"You know what they say about riding a bicycle," Emily heard Rossi's voice, and seconds later the two men appeared in the doorway.

"Who's getting a bicycle?" Reid asked, looking inquisitively at the Unit Chief. The rest of the team tried to hide their smiles, both at Reid and at the obvious avoidance tactic by Hotch.

"No one," he said sternly as Rossi grinned and took his seat. "Let's get started," he indicated to Garcia, who was looking from Rossi to Hotch with a similar look in her eye to the one she had given Emily and JJ minutes before.

Emily was pretty sure there was something going on, and if she had to guess, she'd say that Hotch had met someone – a _lady_ someone. She caught JJ smiling at her out of the corner of her eye, and turned her body away from the blonde, though a grin of her own snuck its way onto her face. She just couldn't deal with the distraction right now, every time JJ looked at her, she felt a surge of happiness, but the lingering feeling that this friendliness between them wasn't going to last.

_Plus you're so obviously still entertaining feelings for her, that SHE DOESN'T SHARE, so you're inevitably going to get your heart broken again, blame it on her, ruin your friendship…_

Emily pressed her fingers to her temple, trying to quiet the noise in her head. _Focus on the case, Prentiss. Just forget last night._ But she couldn't. The entire time Garcia and Hotch were going over the case, she kept wondering what JJ was thinking. Would she come home with Emily that evening?

_Well she has to, her car is at my place._

But would she stay the night again?

_No, see, this is what I'm talking about. You're getting way too carried away. She had one fight with Will, and you seem to have forgotten all about him._

Shit. Will. Emily _had_ nearly forgotten the reason behind JJ's appearance at her door last night. She immediately felt bad for taking happiness from JJ's distress, and kicked herself – of course JJ wasn't sitting there thinking about _her_, she was thinking about Will, and Henry and all the drama from last night.

_Way to be a great friend, Prentiss. Always making things about yourself._

"Looks personal," JJ's low comment on the gruesome pictures of the crime scene immediately brought Emily back to the present.

She really needed to be paying attention. This was so unprofessional. She focused on the screen, where Garcia had displayed the photos of two men in Philadelphia who had been violently beaten to death with a metal pipe.

"He sat them up on crates?" Emily's full attention was now on the case, noting the unusual crime scene. It was obvious that the victims had been subject to immense brutality, and such a high level of violence right away was worrisome.

Reid seemed to agree. "This type of aggression," he explained, "coupled with his loose grip on reality usually leads to more."

"Then we can't take a chance that this guy's a one-hit-wonder," Rossi also sounded significantly concerned.

"Exactly," Hotch interjected from the back of the room. "Which is why we're headed to Philadelphia. Wheels up in twenty." With that, the Unit Chief strode out of the room. Rossi nodded, getting up to follow.

Once the two older men had left, Penelope immediately leaned forward. "Guys!" She hissed, causing Morgan and Reid to stop before they left the room. "Do you think Hotch is starting to date?"

Morgan laughed. "I don't know Baby Girl," he smiled. "But if he is, I don't think he's gonna tell us anytime soon."

…

They were all sitting on the jet, waiting for Hotch to return from the restroom so they could resume the briefing.

"Ok, Rossi," Garcia said from the video feed," Out with it. Is Hotch dating?" The rest of the profilers exchanged look.

The elder man leaned forward, towards the screen. "I. don't. know," he said emphatically, though Emily was pretty sure that wasn't completely true.

"You know," Reid began and Emily caught JJ's eye, as the young blonde tried to hide her smile. They both knew Reid was about to come out with some factoid or statistic.

"Statistically, widowed men start dating much faster than females," Reid said and Morgan also exchanged an amused look with Prentiss. "Though Hotch is refuting the data," Reid continued. "It's been two years and nineteen days."

"Venus _has_ aligned with Mars," Garcia spoke up from the video. "Which means love is in the air, and maybe we will get weekends off…" She continued talking, unable to see that Hotch had emerged from the restroom. The team sat uncomfortably, and Emily fought back a laugh as Morgan cleared his throat pointedly.

Garcia stopped mid-sentence. "What?" A look of horror came over her face. "Is he standing there? Oh god. He's standing there isn't he?" No one spoke. JJ smiled at Emily, who ducked her head, biting her finger and sneaking a look at Hotch, who just stood, watching the technical analyst.

"Hello Garcia," he said, taking a step forward and perching himself next to JJ.

"Hello," Garcia said, looking down quickly. "Um, someone talk about the case."

"Morgan smiled and spoke, coming to the rescue. "You know, if you look at the severity of the crime, this guy may have experienced a significant break from reality."

"Garcia make sure the M.E.'s report is waiting for us when we get there," Hotch said.

"Yes sir, I have already sent her an email," Penelope perked up from behind her keyboard.

"What was the relationship with the victim?" Emily called to Garcia.

"Philly PD think they knew each other," she answered. "That area's pretty desolate at night and one of the guys was carrying take-out for two."

"So he blitzes one, and quickly subdues the other," Rossi mused, as they all were trying silently to figure out how one guy took down two men in decent shape.

"However he did it," JJ said after pointing out that defensive wounds were found on both victims, " this guys must be pretty fit. These guys put up a fight."

…

When they arrived in Philadelphia, the team partnered up and got to work. JJ and Morgan headed to the crime scene, which even without the bodies of the victims there, was obviously the site of vicious aggression. Chinese food and blood were splattered everywhere.

As they talked through the crime, JJ realized that this wasn't didn't fit the psychotic break theory they had said at first, but that the unsub was more rational and organized that they had originally thought.

"But how are the two victims connected?" she wondered aloud. "It's a crappy ally, nothing around here is open at night…"

Morgan looked around, clearly pondering her question. "What about that?" He said, indicating to the end of the ally where a hospital emergency room sign was slightly visible.

"The hospital?" JJ thought it was possible. It seemed to be the most likely explanation at this point anyway. Morgan called Hotch, to explain about the hospital.

"Hotch says Rossi and Prentiss are headed there now," he said, hanging up the phone. JJ nodded, turning to look back at the bloody scene around them. Her thoughts, however, were on a certain brown-eyed agent who was currently headed to the building yards away.

JJ had lots of mixed emotions about the previous night. When she left her house in a blind fury, so angry at Will, so desperate to get out, she had been determined not to call Emily, which, weeks ago, would have been her very first instinct. Instead, she had called Garcia, to no answer. She had felt almost exactly like she had the first time she randomly showed up at Emily's house, unsure if she should, but couldn't resist the desire to go. So she had driven to Emily's complex, a poor choice if not primarily because she was sobbing uncontrollably _and _fairly drunk, but also because things between the two had been so…up and down recently.

JJ felt bad about the way she'd responded after they kissed. She was helplessly confused about how perfect it had felt to be in Emily's arms, and needless to say, she was terrified of that feeling. But after awhile, the distance from Emily had made her so unhappy, she decided she didn't know how or why the kiss had felt the way it did, but she needed to have Emily back in her life, for real. So she had tried reaching out, tried apologizing, only to face harsh rejection in Florida. But last night, in her intoxicated, desperate state, she needed Emily's strong embrace. She hadn't known how her friend would react, and even as she dialed Emily's number, sitting in front of her condo, she was terrified of being faced with the same rejection.

_But she didn't do that at all_, JJ thought, as she continued to walk around the ally. She blushed at the memory of falling asleep in Emily's arms. She was conflicted. She knew she was going to have to face the situation with Will at some point. When she had called him before they left Virginia to tell him she was going on a case, he was picking up Henry, so JJ mostly talked to her son. But she wasn't sure what she wanted anymore with her relationship with Will anyway, and the fact that all she could think about this morning was the way Emily's lips had brushed against her head didn't help clear anything up.

"You okay, JJ?" Morgan came up beside her, startling her out of her reverie.

"What? Yeah!" The blonde turned and looked at her coworker. "I just don't get how the he could subdue both men," she said, trying to cover up her distraction.

"Like you said before, he's got to be in pretty excellent shape," Morgan said, falling into step with her as they exited the ally.

"Yeah," JJ murmured, mentally scolding herself for getting so distracted when there was a brutal killer with extreme strength somewhere in the city.

…

JJ didn't get the chance to be distracted again. More victims appeared over night, with escalated levels of brutality. It also seemed that the unsub was using his hands, which led the team to believe that they were looking for someone with boxing or similar training.

Later that night, the body count grew with two _more_ victims. JJ barely had time to breathe, all the crime scenes she was examining. She, Morgan and Hotch visited the latest scene, and discovered a lead indicating that a boxing trainer, Tony Cole, might be the unsub. Rossi and Prentiss went to Tony's apartment only to discover signs of a significant struggle and no Tony. At their team briefing that night, JJ couldn't help but be impressed at Emily's skill as a profiler as she explained that she and Rossi had figured that it made more sense that it wasn't Tony who was the unsub, but one of his fighters.

So the next morning, Morgan and JJ paid a visit to Tony's gym. There, they were told about Tony's fighter, Jimmy Hall, who seemed like he might fit the profile. Garcia sent Morgan Jimmy's address, and he called Hotch.

"Hotch and the rest of the team are headed over to his apartment," Morgan informed JJ as they walked from the gym back to the car.

"They're all going?" JJ asked, really just wanting to know about one agent in particular.

"He's a strong dude," Morgan said seriously. "If he's there, it'd be better to have back-up."

JJ nodded. For some reason she was suddenly nervous about Emily confronting an especially violent serial killer with years of boxer's training.

_Surely I can't _actually_ be feeling nervous_, she thought, dismissing the light feeling in her stomach. _She's a perfectly capable agent, with three other perfectly capable agents. AND she has a gun. I must just be…hungry._

JJ climbed into the SUV as Morgan got behind the wheel. She brushed off the uncertain feeling and tried to think of something else besides what Emily was currently doing.

While they were driving back to the station, her cell rang. It was Emily.

"Em?" JJ's voice came out slightly panicked and she saw Morgan throw a glance her way.

"Put her on speaker," he said, looking back at the road.

"Hey Jayj," Emily spoke, sounding mildly surprised at her coworker's tone. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah," JJ said hurriedly, realizing how she had sounded initially. She pressed the speakerphone button. "Did you guys find Hall?"

"No, Jimmy wasn't here," Emily responded. "It turns out his son is sick in the hospital, and it doesn't look good. We think that was the trigger. We're setting up surveillance outside the hospital, but his ex-wife said he might be fighting tonight. Hotch wants us to split up and check out some MMA fights."

"We can help with that," Morgan spoke up from the driver's seat. "Text JJ the addresses, and we'll swing by."

"On its way," Emily replied. "Good luck!"

"Bye," JJ murmured as she heard Emily hang up.

"Ok, where are we headed?" Morgan asked, clearly ready to take some action.

…

It was Hotch and Reid who ended up at the right fight. Jimmy let himself get beaten to the point of hospitalization, so that he could see his son. Back at the field office, Hotch told them all that Jimmy had gotten to see and talk to his son before he died.

The team returned to Virginia that night. Emily was exhausted, but all the way home her mind had been racing, wondering whether or not JJ was going to stay the night again, whether or not she should ask her, whether or not she even wanted her to…

Emily was in the office with JJ, Reid, Morgan, and Garcia as they gathered their things and teased Garcia about being caught talking about Hotch on the video chat.

"You shoulda seen your face," Morgan laughed, wrapping his arm around the technical analyst and giving her a squeeze.

"Ok, ok," she laughed. "But was he really mad? I mean, do you think?" Emily smiled at her coworker.

"I really don't think so, he seemed amused more than anything." She looked to JJ for support, but turned to see the blonde staring open-mouthed at the entrance to the office.

Emily turned to see what she was staring at, and the team fell silent as they saw Will LaMontagne standing in the doorway, a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"Hey," the young man drawled as he took a step into the room. Emily's heart was pounding as she looked from JJ to Will. She didn't know what JJ was going to do, and despite _everything_ that she had decided over the past few weeks, her mind was silently pleading for JJ to tell him to go away.

"Will," JJ stated, not moving as he approached the group, which was scattering to give them some semblance of privacy. Emily just turned and shuffled some folders on her desk, she couldn't help feeling instinctively protective of JJ, nor extremely resentful and suspicious of Will, after what had happened two nights ago.

"I was kinda hopin' we could talk JJ," he said slowly, stopping in front of her and glancing at the rest of the team, who were still standing within earshot. "I really want to apologize, and-"

"Ok," JJ said, stepping forward and nodding at Will. She didn't look at the rest of the team as she led Will out of the bullpen.

"What's going on with that?" Garcia asked curiously, walking back over to where Emily remained standing, watching the couple walk into the hallway.

Emily shrugged, not wanting to reveal anything JJ didn't want people to know – and not feeling like explaining how exactly she knew what was going on. She looked up and saw Morgan looking at her inquisitively, but when their eyes met, he turned to Garcia.

"Ready to head out?" The technical analyst nodded, and Reid picked up his bag.

"You coming Emily?" The young doctor looked at her before following the other two.

"Um," Emily paused. She was unsure of how to wait for JJ without the others thinking anything of it. "Yeah, hang on." She bent down and grabbed her bag, trying to take her time and hoping that JJ would be finished talking to Will by the time they reached the hall.

She didn't have to wait long. As she followed the others out of the office, JJ was walking back.

"Hey," Emily stopped as her teammates made their way to the elevator. "Is everything ok…?" She asked hesitantly, not sure how to handle the situation.

"Yeah!" JJ smiled. "I'm just going to get my stuff!" She started walking again, into the office.

"Okay, well, but how are things with Will?" Emily followed her back to her desk. "Do you need a ride?"

"Oh," JJ said, avoiding Emily's eyes as she spoke, "Actually, um, Will is going to take me. We'll just swing by your place and pick up my car, and, um…" she paused, glancing up at Emily, whose heart was plummeting to her stomach, "I'm staying at home tonight. But Em," The blonde looked up in earnest. "I really appreciate you letting me stay last night. I don't know what I would've done without you." She reached out and grasped Emily's arm, giving it a quick squeeze before letting her hand drop.

"Oh! Yeah, it's nothing," Emily waved her hand, brushing off the gracious comment. "But, are you sure that everything's ok?" She looked seriously at JJ. "Will was okay and everything?"

"Yeah!" The young woman smiled and started making her way towards the door. "We talked. There might be some more conversations we need to have," she laughed, "but it's okay for now."

Emily nodded, forcing a smile. "Good," she said as they approached the elevator, where, to her dismay, the rest of the team was still waiting.

"We held it for you," Morgan said as Prentiss and JJ stepped onto the elevator.

"Thanks!" JJ smiled at him. Emily stayed silent, gritting her teeth and growing in fury at herself as the elevator shut.

_You're a total idiot. I told you not to get carried away. I told you this wasn't going to end well. You did not listen, and now you're right back where you started. _

"So what did Will do to have to show up here with _roses_?" Garcia asked, nudging JJ in the back and smiling mischievously.

JJ laughed. "He just knows how to apologize well. Lots of practice," she joked.

"Should be a good night then," Garcia winked. Emily wanted to throw up. Thankfully at that moment, the elevator doors opened and the team walked out into the parking lot. Not so thankfully, Will was waiting for JJ by the door and wrapped his arm around her and walked her to his car.

"Good night!" JJ called as she was laughing at something he evidently whispered in her ear. The team waved and exchanged their own good nights as they headed to their vehicles.

Emily couldn't tear her eyes away from Will and JJ, though the sight of them made her want to…well, she didn't want to think about it. She opened her car door, about to climb in when Morgan appeared at her passenger side door.

"Hey, Prentiss," he said, laying his hand on top of her car to get her attention. "I'm going to go out for a drink, and if you're up for it, I could really use some company."

_He can tell something's wrong._

For a second, Emily panicked that Derek might know that she was upset about JJ. But at that moment Will's car passed by them, giving a small honk before they exited the parking lot. It felt like another slap in the face, and Emily _really _didn't feel like going home, and she _did_ really feel like having a very strong drink.

She looked up at Morgan, who was looking at her with raised eyebrows. Morgan had been one of her closest friends since she started at the BAU. They had been partnered a lot in the beginning, and she truly trusted the man. After their case in Chicago, when Morgan had been arrested and the team had found out about the abuse he suffered as a kid, they had spent some time together, talking a lot about trusting people and letting people in. She knew she could trust Derek, and this was one time where she didn't feel like going home (to where, the last time she had been there, JJ was there too) and sitting by herself.

"Ok," Emily said, nodding at him over her car. "I could use a drink."

"I thought so," the agent smiled. "How bout Flanaghan's? That's not too far from your house, right?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Emily said, climbing in her car. "I'll meet you there."

_Are you seriously going to tell him about your feelings for JJ?_ Part of her couldn't believe she'd agreed to the drink in the first place. But she just felt so shitty after watching JJ leave with Will, so happy and laughy and…not with her.

_I don't know, I just need the company right now_, she thought as she pulled into the pub parking lot. _It probably won't be for that long anyway._

The bar wasn't too crowded, seeing as it was a weeknight and already 10:30pm. The two agents took seats at the bar, and Morgan ordered a beer while Emily asked for whiskey. It was her go-to drink when she needed something strong. Morgan had the good sense not to make a comment about her drink choice, but once they were served, he started talking.

"So, Prentiss, everything okay with you?"

Emily nodded, taking a sip of her drink. "Yeah, everything's fine. You know, work's exhausting, all that," she smiled at her colleague over her glass.

"Yeah," he gave a small laugh and looked down, toying with his beer. "Look," he said after a small pause, and Emily dreaded what was coming. "I don't want to cross a line, but come on." He looked up and looked her in the eye. "I know you well enough to know when something's bothering you. And these past couple weeks, it really seems like something's been on your mind."

_God. _Emily didn't know what to say. She didn't think she could just blurt out "I'm in love with JJ," even to Derek. She could barely admit that to herself these days, even though during the events two days ago, it was pretty blatant.

"I…" she hesitated, concentrating on rotating her glass on the bar.

"I'm just going to come right out and ask you, because I don't think you'll tell me if I don't," Morgan said, as Emily's pause lingered on.

Emily glanced sideways at him, a small smile on her lips. As nerve-wracking as this was, she was almost relieved that he was just asking.

"Is there something going on between you and JJ?" Derek asked, looking serious, but returning her small smile as he saw it. "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to," he continued. "But I've just noticed some things between you guys and…" he trailed off.

"Yeah, well…" Emily smiled bitterly into her glass as she downed the last of her whiskey. Was there "something going on" between her and JJ? No. Did she wish there was? Yes. "There's not anything "going on" between us." She avoided looking at Morgan's face, and stared, playing with her empty glass instead.

"Okay…" Her coworker didn't seem ready to let it go quite yet. "Do you _want_ there to be something going on?" She felt his eyes on her as she motioned to the bartender for another drink, a beer this time.

Looking quickly at Morgan, she ducked her head and nodded slightly as she took the beer from the bartender. "I guess you could say that, yeah," she mumbled before taking a large gulp.

She looked over to see him grinning broadly and nodding as he took a swig from his beer.

"I had thought so," he said, careful to keep his tone gentle as his face returned to seriousness. "I could tell something was up when all the sudden you guys weren't talking."

Emily nodded. "Yeah well, you know women, lots of _confusion_ and _feelings_, and confusion about their feelings," she said slightly sarcastically. Morgan laughed, and she couldn't help but smile. It was kind of nice to be able to say something about it out loud to someone.

"Yeah?" He asked, still smiling. "So, what happened exactly? Did she tell you she had feelings for you and then get nervous, or…" he broke off when Emily shook her head.

"We kissed," she said quickly, taking another large drink of her beer. She couldn't believe she was telling someone this, let alone Derek. "No one said anything about feelings, but she bolted right after it happened." Emily looked at him, and Morgan nodded understandingly. "And then she made a point of telling me she wasn't gay – that's when things kind of got awkward." Morgan laughed.

"Sorry," he said quickly, reorganizing his face. "I didn't mean to laugh, I just…it was so obvious when things changed between you two, so…yeah, I wondered what happened."

"Yeah, that's what happened," Emily said humorlessly. "Then all the sudden, like four days ago she decided she wanted to be friends again, and started being all clingy." Derek laughed again, and this time Emily let out a small chuckle as well.

"Then two nights ago, she called me because things weren't going well with Will, and she spent the night." Morgan raised his eyebrows.

"Oh yeah?"

"Not like _that,_" Emily said, hitting him lightly on the arm. "Get your mind out of the gutter."

He laughed. "Sorry! I can't help it!"

Emily rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, nothing like that ever happened. But of course I got all…" she trailed off, not wanting to admit exactly how idiotic she felt she had been. "Anyway, then today when Will showed up, it was just…annoying."

Derek busted out laughing at her last word choice. "Fair enough," he chuckled, indicating that perhaps the former detective from Louisiana wasn't his favorite person either. Emily couldn't help but grin too.

"Well, honestly," the other profiler glanced up at her as he gripped his beer. "I was pretty sure you guys were getting it on." Emily scoffed and shook her head. "No, seriously," Morgan protested. "The way you'd look at her sometimes, and the way she'd look at you…" He shook his head. "I was like, no way those two haven't seen each other naked."

Emily laughed loudly and took a drink. "Wow, and I thought I was doing a great job hiding my feelings." She shook her head and stared into her beer, her eyes growing dark. "I don't know."

"Emily," Morgan said, his face also turning serious. "It's obvious that she cares about you. If what happened between you guys made her uncomfortable for awhile, it seems like she's over it now. You shouldn't let go of a great friendship because of an awkward moment. Those kinds of things happen."

"Oh have you and Reid kissed too?" Emily asked sarcastically, raising an eyebrow in his direction.

Morgan chuckled and turned back to his drink. "Nah. But if he kissed me, you know, we'd work it out."

Emily shook her head.

"You say that now, but if it really happened…you didn't see the look on her face when she told me she wasn't gay." Emily frowned at the memory of JJ's disgust. "Besides…I…I don't know." The thought of finishing her sentence scared Emily.

"You don't know if you want to be just friends, huh?" She looked up, startled.

"How did you…?" It was like he had read her mind.

Derek laughed. "It's all over your face Prentiss. You let your guard down for one drink, and it's all showing. "

"Ha." Emily didn't know how she felt about her colleague knowing her true feelings for JJ. But apparently he already had a pretty good idea. Plus it had been killing her the past couple of weeks. She downed the last of her beer.

"Yeah, well, I probably don't have a choice, huh?"

Morgan smiled and shrugged. "I don't know, I mean I suppose you could keep her at an arms length, you know, wall yourself in." He looked over at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh shut up," Emily nudged his arm, she could tell he was teasing her, knowing how she operated.

"But if you want my professional profiler opinion, I'd say you're not the only one with feelings there."

Emily didn't respond at first, so Morgan continued, "That doesn't mean it's not complicated, I'm just saying, I've noticed – "

"I actually don't want your professional profiler opinion," Prentiss interrupted, suddenly intent on stopping him. "I've been driving myself crazy with my own 'profiler opinion', convinced she had feelings for me, when she obviously doesn't. So no, I'm not entertaining that anymore." Emily's brown eyes flashed at Morgan's, daring him to challenge her.

"Okay, okay," the other agent said, holding up his hands in defense. "I get it."

"Plus," she continued, growing frustrated, "it's not like I can just ignore the fact that Will exists. She has a family with him. They're _together._" Morgan nodded, seeming to concede that point.

"They're not married though," he offered, half joking.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't even joke. I'm not a home-wrecker. I want her to be happy, even if – " she gripped her empty glass tightly. "Even if it's not with me."

"That's a pretty significant thing to be able to say," he said encouragingly, trying to make her feel better.

Emily just shook her head. This was exhausting.

"Look, Prentiss," Morgan placed a hand on her arm. "I don't imagine this has been, or is, very easy. But I just want you to know, I've got your back no matter what. We all love you," he said, referring to the whole team. "And I'll speak for myself, but I think it goes for other people too, if you wanna talk about anything…I just don't want you to feel like you can't come to me."

Emily nodded. "I know that," she smiled. "Thanks."

"Always." He turned and finished his beer. "You want another?" he asked her, indicating to her empty glass.

"Nah. I think I'm done for the night," Emily answered, gathering her coat and moving to get up. "I appreciate everything though, Derek," she said sincerely.

He nodded, and laid a few bills next to their glasses. "I've got this tonight," He said, nodding at the bartending. "I'm serious, though Emily. Anytime." She smiled and he patted her on the back as they walked out of the bar.

…

Emily was relieved and nervous at the same time that Derek knew about her feelings for JJ. She didn't think he would tell anyone, but it was still slightly nerve-wracking that there was someone outside her own head that knew.

She sighed as she entered her condo, exhausted and not wanting to think about the present state of the situation with JJ. It was so different than she had imagined it would be when they had left this place two days ago.

_Yeah, because you're an idiot and let yourself think that things would somehow be different this time._

Emily shook her head and threw herself down on the couch. Looking to her left, she saw the blanket neatly folded on the end of the sofa, the work of JJ's hands the other morning. Her heart ached at the memory, and she was immediately frustrated at her own emotions.

_I fucking knew this would happen_, she thought, grabbing the blanket and shaking it out of its neat folds, as if undoing JJ's work would somehow undo the fact that she had ever been there. Emily threw the blanket over herself and curled up at the end of the couch.

She glanced into the kitchen to check the time, and her eyes caught two mugs sitting on the counter next to the sink. _JJ must've put them over there before we left_, she realized. Again, she was immediately flooded with sadness. It was like she had glimpsed the all happiness she ever dreamed about and lost it, all within 72 hours.

Emily laid her head against the couch as Sergio jumped up to curl at her feet. Even her own cat reminded Emily of JJ, as she remembered hearing the blonde adorably talk to him as she had filled his bowl that morning.

Emily closed her eyes hard against the memories, feeling stupid for making such a big deal out of _one_ morning. The problem then was that, laying on the couch she could smell the faintest hint of the perfume that JJ had been wearing that night, and could practically feel the spot on the couch where JJ had slept. She felt a lump rising in her throat.

_God, do NOT cry, Prentiss. You're just imaging things. _

Then there was the image of JJ laughing, leaning closely against Will's side as they walked through the FBI parking lot.

Despite her best efforts, a few tears squeezed out the corners of Emily's tightly closed eyes. She tried to forget the mental picture of JJ so happy with someone else, and quickly wiped her eyes with the blanket, which was probably a mistake because the overwhelming scent of JJ filled her nose.

"Damn it!" Emily threw off the cover and sat up, tears of frustration sliding down her cheeks. Sergio jumped up startled by her sudden movement, and gave her a pointed look as he resettled himself at the very end of the couch.

Emily sat for a moment, with her head in her hands, trying to calm herself down. She really didn't want to start sobbing, if that happened, she knew she wouldn't be able to stop. Taking deep breaths, she reasoned with herself.

_I just need to get over it, move on. No more freaking out and being mad…So, I have feelings for her, she's doesn't reciprocate, she's also unavailable…so I move on. End of story. It's not her fault, it's not like she's been leading me on or something. Obviously that kiss was just…an accident._

Emily sighed once more, running her hands over her face and standing up. This was the way it had to be. She couldn't keep riding this emotional roller coaster. The blanket fell off the couch as she stood, but she left it there on the floor and headed upstairs.

_Time to get over it, _she thought again as she climbed into bed, feeling slightly calmer and more rational. _I'm sick of being a child about this. I don't want to lose her as a friend, and I _do_ truly want to her to be happy._ _No matter what that means. _

She forced herself to feel confident about this resolution, ignoring the part of herself that reminded her she had decided all of this many times before, only to simply fall in love with JJ all over again the minute she saw her.

…~…


	9. Chapter 9: True Genius

**A/N: **Thanks to everyone who's been sticking with the story, even over the extra long break! I hope you enjoy the new chapter...it picks up with JJ's perspective on the events at the end of the last chapter. Also, the symbols in the texting conversation are just to help keep track of who sent the message in case it becomes unclear. Enjoy, and remember, reviews are always appreciated!

Last but certainly not least, so much thanks to the incredible person who betas these for me, and inspires me to keep writing.

* * *

><p><strong>"True Genius"<strong>

JJ pulled into her driveway behind Will's car. He had driven her from the BAU to Emily's complex so that she could pick up her car while he went to pick up Henry from her mom's. Standing there in Emily's parking lot, JJ had been unsettled by the way she had felt. For some crazy reason she had hoped that she'd run into Emily also returning home from work, but at the same time the thought of it made her nervous. She couldn't help feeling like she'd disappointed her brown-haired coworker by going home with Will instead of her…and JJ had felt a slight twinge of regret at the choice as well.

Sitting in her driveway as she turned off the engine, she paused before exiting her car as she remembered Emily's face when she told her she was leaving with Will. Something about the look of defeat that crossed behind those dark brown eyes…

For awhile JJ had wondered if Emily had feelings for her, but she couldn't decide how she felt about that possibility. It was kind of like the kiss: at first it was exhilarating, exactly what she wanted, but the next minute she was scared shitless at the enormity of her feelings concerning the elder brunette. Emily had stepped up and been there for her when she needed it most, and seeking comfort in her arms had just felt so incredibly right.

_I mean, obviously I love her as a friend_, JJ thought, shifting in her seat, but remaining in the car. She couldn't shake the memory of her body resting against Emily's as they had lain on the couch a few nights previous. Every contour of their bodies seemed to match, Emily's scent had been so calming, and her breathing lulled JJ to sleep.

JJ suddenly realized she was still sitting in her driveway and shook her head to clear it of Emily. She quickly exited the car and went inside, where Will was waiting in the kitchen.

"Can I make you anything?" He asked softly as she set her coat and bag down on the counter. "Tea? Coffee?"

JJ tried to ignore the memory of Emily serving her tea that popped into her head at Will's offer.

"Mama!" Henry's voice accompanied with a thunder of footsteps indicated that their son was coming down the stairs to see her, offering a convenient distraction.

"Hey buddy," JJ smiled, walking to the front stairway and scooping up her little boy as he descended the last few steps. Cuddling the fair-haired boy in her arms, she showered him with kisses while he squealed and squirmed, feigning the desire to escape her embrace.

"Maammaaa!" He giggled, as JJ continued to tickle him and lay kisses all over his face. "That tickles!" JJ smiled at her son and gently set him on the ground, where he immediately attached himself to her leg.

"Come on, Little Man," Will said, entering the hallway. "It's way past your bedtime."

Henry looked up at his mother with pleading eyes. JJ couldn't help but laugh at his attempt, and only responded by picking him up again and covering him with more kisses.

"It's true, it is waaayy past your bedtime," she said as she headed up the stairs, Henry's arms wrapped around her neck. "Come on, I'll read you a story."

…

After tucking Henry in and leaving his bedside only reluctantly, JJ went down the hall to the room she shared with Will.

The man emerged from the bathroom as she walked in, towel in hand.

"JJ," he spoke meaningfully as she took a seat on the edge of their bed, running her hands through her hair. She looked up at him as he came to stand in front of her. "I just wanted to tell you again…about the other night…" Will paused as he laid the towel down on the bed and sat next to her. "I was completely out of line. About everything. I know what you give up for your job, and all the good you do there…" he trailed off, shaking his head. "I'm just really sorry about everything that I said. And I'm really glad that you're home."

JJ smiled, looking down at her lap. He had apologized thoroughly earlier in the hallway at the BAU, but she was grateful that he hadn't simply moved on. Many hurtful things had been said that night, and she was definitely going to need some time before things were "back to normal" between them.

"I love you so much," Will continued, reaching out and taking JJ's hand in his own. "I just want us to be a family so bad…" JJ saw the sincerity in his eyes, and she couldn't hold that against him. She loved Will – he was the father of her child, the most important thing in the world to her. But she just wasn't sure about marrying him, and she knew that's what he really wanted. Right now though, JJ didn't want to argue about that. She knew that she wanted them to be a family too, for Henry's sake. So she simply smiled and nodded at Will.

"Thank you," she said softly, wanting him to know that she did appreciate his apology.

They sat, staring at each other for a moment. Will was looking at her with such love, and slowly he took JJ's face between his hands, and laid his lips on hers. She felt his hands, they were hard against her cheeks, and his movements rough, and JJ couldn't help but think of Emily's hands. They had been firm, yet her skin so soft and her motions gentle…

_God why am I thinking about EMILY while I'm kissing Will?_

JJ closed her eyes tighter against the memory and pressed her mouth further onto Will's, trying to focus on the man in front of her.

Will guided them back onto the bed, beginning to undress JJ as they moved. As they fell back onto the sheets and Will guided his body over hers, JJ leaned her head back and closed her eyes, letting Will's mouth roam over her shoulders and chest.

As she shut her eyes to the room around her, JJ's mind was suddenly back in Emily's bedroom – specifically focused on the figure of Emily, jumping out of the bed clad only in her underwear and a tank top. JJ couldn't help her mind's eye wandering over Emily's toned legs, as she had done on _that_ morning, up to the sliver of her hip that peeked out between where her underwear stopped and her camisole had inched up to reveal the pale skin of her abdomen.

Immediately JJ's eyes flew open, startled at the memory, while Will continued to writhe on top of her.

_What the hell…_

Her eyes darted around the room as she desperately tried to keep her mind in the present moment.

"Will," she moaned, mostly as a verbal reminder that it was _him_ on top of her, although the name spoken in her head belonged to a certain brown-eyed profiler. JJ shut her mouth, afraid that the next time she spoke, she wouldn't get it right.

…

About thirty minutes later, the blonde profiler was laying beside a dozing Will. She, however, could not sleep. Every time JJ closed her eyes, images of Emily's barely clothed body appeared. She could not believe that she'd thought of Emily in _that_ way, and while she was _having sex with Will_.

It wasn't like JJ was completely unaware of her physical response to Emily's kiss a few weeks back. She hadn't been able to get that out of her head either. After her initial freak out, she'd tried to brush it off as "normal" female curiosity. But the "curiosity" about the way Emily's body would feel pressed against hers, the way her skin would taste under JJ's lips, was getting a little out of hand – to the point where JJ could no longer realistically pretend that she wasn't attracted to the woman.

She rolled over, uncomfortable in her own bed. She didn't want to go down this road, because she was afraid that if she started, the truth might be that the attraction went beyond physical appreciation for Emily's body. She had sought refuge in Emily's arms when things went south with Will, and truth be told, she wasn't sure of her decision not to return to them.

_But I want this, this with Will, _JJ thought fervently._ I love Henry and our family…I want him to have this. And I do care about Will!_ JJ stole a glance at the man sleeping next to her. She did care deeply about Henry's father, and he _was_ a good man, despite their recent disagreements. For some reason though, even after making love, laying beside him JJ still felt lonely.

Sighing, she reached over and grabbed her phone from her bedside table.

_1:04am_ shone from the display screen. Holding her phone in her hand, she thought of Emily. She wondered if the older agent was still awake, what was she doing, who was she thinking of...

JJ laid the device back down and stared up at the ceiling. She just needed to sleep. Her eyes still didn't close though, as her mind refused to drop the subject of Emily Prentiss. Sighing, she sat up and slipped from beneath the covers, trying not to wake Will as she climbed out of the bed. She grabbed her phone from the table and quietly crept down the stairs.

Standing in her kitchen, JJ stared at the phone, unsure of why she had left her bed in the first place. Before she could get too deep in her second-guessing, she sent a text.

_**Are you still awake?_

JJ immediately set the phone on the kitchen counter and turned away, opening the refrigerator to distract herself from anxiously anticipating a reply from Emily. She pulled out a cup of yogurt and searched for a spoon and it wasn't until she turned back around to begin eating that she noticed her phone was lit up with a new text message.

_-I am. What are you still doing up?_

JJ's hands practically trembled as she picked up the phone. She was recognizing more and more that this sort of late night conversation could lead to late night confessions.

_**Can't sleep. I got bored of staring at the ceiling. And you? It's kind of late, even for you ;) _

JJ smiled as she pressed send, remembering all the times she had known Emily to be staying up late in Paris because of the timing of her online Scrabble moves.

_-It's a habit I picked up in Paris_, came the immediate reply. _But you know, I actually have a tea specifically to cure insomnia. Knocks you right out._

JJ again smiled down at her phone and began preparing her response. She felt like a giddy teenager as she typed, excited though nervous, and feeling slightly ridiculous about it.

_**All of your teas do that, Prentiss. None of them have caffeine._

_-Watch it Jareau, or I won't share._

JJ laughed as she read Emily's text. She could picture Emily saying those exact words, and she really wished they were having this conversation in person. Pushing herself off the counter, JJ wandered around the island in her kitchen, typing her reply.

_**Ok, ok. I don't want to lose my privileges. I DID love the cup you made me the other night. _

_-Good. It was from the expensive shelf._

_**Look Em, _ JJ paused, leaning against the fridge as she began to type rapidly. _I really appreciated that you were there for me that night. I can't tell you how much that meant. AND you shared your tea. So, thank you. _

Truly, there was a lot more JJ wanted so say, but even the false courage of hiding behind technology couldn't make her brave enough to start those confessions just yet.

_-Well, anything for you Jayj. Including my tea ;) _

Her heart skipped a small beat at the reply, though she immediately felt foolish for getting so worked up over a text message she had chosen to interpret as flirtatious. Despite her constant admonitions that Emily was not flirting, JJ's hands trembled slightly as she tried to think of a witty reply. Before she could compose the perfect retort, she received another text from Emily.

_-I'm currently substituting the tea with some late night infomercials…seems to be doing the trick. _

JJ grinned broadly upon reading the words. It made her unreasonably happy that Emily was engaging her in conversation this late at night. Taking her phone, she walked into the living room and flipped on the TV. Immediately, JJ was greeted with a man in a headset talking enthusiastically about some kitchen gadget. JJ sat down, instantly enthralled. She loved these things.

After a few minutes JJ tore her eyes away from the screen to text Emily.

_**This is making you fall asleep? I'm about to call and order one! ...Or five._

_-Of course you are. I suppose it's my fault if you end up with a kitchen full of Magic Bullets tomorrow…But yes, I am falling asleep. I have to be up early tomorrow to get to catch my flight to Chicago with Reid. _

_I forgot about that stupid Violent Crimes conference, _JJ thought, feeling rather disappointed that she wasn't going to see Emily tomorrow.

_**Right! I forgot. Well then get your rest. And good luck tomorrow!_

_-Thanks You should think about sleep too. Before you spend too much money ;) _

JJ smiled at her friend's teasing comment and silently agreed. Besides, she didn't think it was a good idea to have Will find her down here in the morning – they had just "made up," and she didn't feel like dealing with his questions about why she couldn't sleep or didn't wake him up to sit with her instead of moving downstairs.

_**I'll try to tear myself away Good night!_

JJ pressed send and reluctantly switched off the TV, uncurling herself from the corner of the couch. As she was making her way up the stairs back to her bedroom, her phone lit up again.

_-Good night JJ. _

For some reason, the inclusion of her name by her colleague made JJ smile. Simultaneously she was struck with deep regret that it was not Emily who was waiting in the bedroom 10 feet in front of her. Sighing and shaking her head, JJ tried to push that particular feeling back down. She climbed back into bed next to Will, who it appeared had not moved in her absence. JJ rolled onto her side, facing away from the slumbering man, closing her eyes and concentrating on the warm feeling that had come with the late-night chat with Emily.

…

Emily and Reid had volunteered to speak at the Violent Crimes Seminar in Chicago in response to an invitation requesting someone from the BAU. She had jumped at the opportunity to get away for a few days, as Hotch was allowing them to stay an extra day in the city.

The two had arrived at the hotel after an excruciating early morning flight, and were walking down the hall towards the ballroom where the conference was to take place. Emily was following Reid, who was engaged in conversation with Patricia Cornwell and her posse. He was talking to Ms. Cornwell about some statistic, Emily was only half listening, when she felt her phone vibrate against her hip. She pulled it out of her pocket to see that JJ had texted her.

_**Have a great presentation! Try to make sure Reid doesn't go too far into genius-land ;) _

Emily couldn't help her face breaking out in a huge smile at the blonde's sweet gesture. She immediately thought of the previous night, when JJ's text had thankfully interrupted her tossing and turning. Emily was still having nightmares and an aversion to sleep since being back from Paris. And the surprising text message she'd received from the young blonde the night before had been a welcome surprise for more reasons than one.

"Something funny?" Reid had apparently finished educating Patricia Cornwell and had fallen into step next to Emily.

"What?" Emily looked up, slightly startled out of her daydreams of JJ.

The young doctor shrugged. "You were smiling at your phone, I was just wondering what was funny," he said in his matter-of-fact style.

"Oh, no," Emily shook her head and gave Reid a quick smile. "Nothing was funny."

Luckily before he could ask an inevitable follow-up question, the group reached the ballroom and were being given instructions about the events of the day.

…

When JJ arrived in the office that morning, she was greeted with Morgan telling her they had a case. It was straight to the conference room to be briefed, which was nice because it gave her less time to dwell on Emily's absence.

_Seriously? She's going to be gone for two days. I think you can handle it._

Any thoughts of Emily quickly disappeared when Penelope started the briefing. It looked like the Zodiac Killer was back in California, after 40 years. Hotch announced they'd be leaving in thirty minutes and instructed Garcia to tell Prentiss and Reid to meet them in San Francisco once they were finished with the seminar. JJ couldn't even be happy about seeing Emily with the thought that the Zodiac Killer, one of the most famous and brutal serial killers, was somehow back.

…

Hours later, the team arrived in California. After briefly settling in at the field office, JJ and Hotch accompanied Agent Lin, the leading agent on the case to see the crime scene, which was a copy of the Zodiac M.O. down to the last detail.

"What makes you think this is the real Zodiac, Agent?" Hotch directed his question at Agent Li, who stood off to the side, shaking her head in slight bewilderment.

"I don't know…" she started slowly. "The M.O. is uncannily similar. If it's not him, then it's an equally evil twin."

"Or someone who studied him meticulously," Hotch suggested, surveying the scene.

A voice approaching from the crime scene line drew their attention. "Have any letters or ciphers been received?" Spencer Reid was striding towards them, followed closely by Emily.

JJ's eyes magnetically stayed on the brunette, watching her approach. Their eyes met for a brief moment, causing both of them to break out into large smiles. Emily quickly looked away, and JJ could tell she was blushing slightly, perhaps because to be grinning so broadly seemed inappropriate for the situation. As the pair reached the car, Hotch introduced them to Agent Li.

"Uh, how was the conference?" JJ asked, looking only at Emily, but the brunette was carefully avoiding meeting her gaze again.

"Enlightening," Reid answered JJ, who kept her eyes on Emily.

"Has the unsub made any contact?" Emily asked Agent Li, who explained that they had received phone calls with only heavy breathing on the other end – just like the ones the Zodiac used to make.

After requesting a copy of the online version of the day's paper to be printed out, Reid stepped forward and gave the crime scene a quick glance over.

"It's not the real Zodiac," he announced as he moved around the car in which the victims had been shot.

The other three agents exchanged quick looks.

"How can you be so sure?" Emily asked.

"I just know," was the only reply as Reid continued to examine the scene.

Emily followed him, poking around and making her own mental notes. JJ couldn't help but stare, and felt that she had a pretty good view as she watched the older woman lean over to peer inside the car window. Suddenly conscious that Hotch was still standing beside her, JJ abruptly turned away, trying to prevent her mind from lingering on thoughts of Emily's body. She remembered the images that had pervaded her mind while having sex with Will, which caused her cheeks to redden slightly.

"I don't know, it's eerily similar…" Emily's voice caused JJ to turn back around as the brunette came to stand in front of her and Hotch.

"Yeah," the Unit Chief nodded. "We'll have to see what Reid comes up with after looking through the newspaper. Finish up here and we'll head back to the field office and debrief with Morgan and Rossi," he said as he turned to head back to the black SUV parked a few yards away.

"So, how many did you order?"

JJ looked up to see Emily's brown eyes twinkling at her, a teasing grin on her face.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," JJ feigned, turning to follow Hotch and immensely pleased at the flirtatious tone Emily Prentiss was taking with her.

"Ah, I see. So I should expect at least a blender and a Japanese knife set when my birthday rolls around then."

JJ shot Emily a look but couldn't hold back a smile from breaking out across her face.

"Maybe one or two," she said, glancing over at her coworker who had fallen into step beside her.

"Hmm." Emily nodded. She was looking at the ground, but her grin was still visible. "Looks like I'm really going to have to get you some of that tea," she said, a serious look taking over her features. "In the interest of your bank account."

"Oh shut up," JJ laughed, nudging Emily playfully with her shoulder. The moment of contact was delicious, as JJ had been dying to touch the older woman from the minute she'd strode onto the crime scene and now she couldn't help herself from indulging in some adolescent-style flirting.

Emily just laughed heartily as they reached the two parked SUVs where Hotch was waiting.

"JJ," the Unit Chief spoke from within the vehicle. "I need you to come with me. Prentiss, you can wait for Reid and meet us back at the office."

"Okay," JJ said to Hotch, crossing the car to climb into the passenger's seat. She threw one last glance at Emily who simply nodded, having fully resumed her professional composure.

…

Once they all had arrived back at the field office, it was becoming clear that Reid's "feeling" had been right, that the killer was indeed not the original Zodiac.

Reid going through comments from online newspaper article, and found a cipher using the same symbols that the original Zodiac killer had used. Of course the Boy Wonder decoded it within seconds and with Garcia's help they figured out that the unsub was referring to a statue of President Garfield in Golden Gate Park at a 8pm that night.

Emily was slightly annoyed, but Hotch had asked her specifically to stay at the field office in case the park was just a distraction and something else happened. Not too long after they all had left, a local agent returned with a man in handcuffs, and Emily was thoroughly confused at the man's protests that he was "just the messenger."

"What happened?" She asked the agent as he led the man into an interrogation space.

"This guy just showed up with a letter for one of your teammates," the agent shrugged. "Says he doesn't know anything, but we'll see what we can find out."

Emily nodded, frowning, and turned to see the rest of her team entering the office.

"Hey," she greeted them as Reid brushed past her, heading straight for the evidence board, obviously frustrated by something.

"Uh, what happened?" She asked, looking from Reid to the rest of the team, who looked slightly defeated and slightly more frustrated.

"That guy showed up with a letter addressed to Reid," JJ said, as she removed her coat and indicated to the man sitting in the interrogation room, where Hotch and Rossi were now questioning him. "It said, 'You're not as smart as you think you are.'"

Emily's eyebrows shot up as she glanced over at the young doctor, furiously flipping through the comment pages of the newspaper article. She knew that, despite the fact that Reid was extremely humble about his intelligence, he wouldn't take kindly to an unsub playing games and taunting him like that.

"So we're thinking there's going to be another body by the morning?" she looked back at JJ who nodded grimly.

"Looks that way."

At that moment, Hotch emerged from the interrogation room.

"Anything?" JJ asked hopefully.

The older man shook his head. "He doesn't know anything. Look," he said, pausing where the two of them were standing, "I want us all to get some rest. It's getting late and we're going to need fresh eyes tomorrow. You guys should head over to the hotel, I'm going to try to convince Reid to go as well." The two women nodded and watched as their leader approached the frustrated young man across the room.

"Hey," Morgan came up beside them. "I'm about to head over now, if you wanna join me." He glanced over to where Hotch was speaking to Reid. "I think they might be awhile."

JJ looked at Emily and raised her eyebrows in silent question. The brunette nodded somewhat reluctantly, she didn't want to leave Reid who was obviously distressed, but she was exhausted, having gone none-stop since the flight to Chicago that morning. She knew Reid must be in the same state as she, but figured if anyone could convince him, it would be Hotch.

Back at the hotel, Emily picked up her key at the desk and went up to find her room. She was thrilled to see a small coffee maker in the room, and while she was using it to heat up water for her nightly cup of tea, there was a knock at her door.

"One second!" she called, having been in the middle of undressing. She threw an old Yale sweatshirt on over her bra, and still wearing her dress pants from the day, she opened the door. She was surprised to see JJ standing there, still dressed in her suit.

"Is everything okay?" Emily asked immediately, worrying that they'd found another body already.

"Oh, yeah! Everything's fine," JJ assured her quickly, seeming to realize that her presence had the older agent concerned. "I just, erm, wanted to make sure you'd found your room…" the blonde woman trailed off and Emily couldn't help but smile at her adorable bashfulness.

"Yeah, come on in," she said, stepping back and opening the door fully for her colleague to enter. "I'm just making _tea_._" _She emphasized the last word and glanced at the blonde, with a pointed grin on her face.

JJ laughed and followed her into the room. "Of _course_ you are. I should have known."

"Would you like a cup?" Emily asked, still grinning, as she dug around in her suitcase for the new variety she'd picked up in Chicago.

"Wait," JJ stopped, staring at Emily for a beat. "You _brought your own_?"

"Yeah!" Emily said, straightening up holding the box of organic lavender camomile. She could tell JJ was about to tease her, but she didn't mind.

"Oh you are adorable," the blonde woman said, taking a seat on Emily's bed as she watched the older agent prepare two hotel mugs full.

Emily was extremely grateful that her back was to JJ at that moment, because JJ's comment had her grinning like an idiot and blushing like a schoolgirl.

"Here," she said, still smiling as she turned around and handed JJ one of the mugs. "Just drink it. No more comments."

JJ's blue eyes twinkled up at her. "Yes ma'am," she smiled as she raised the cup to her lips, stopping though because the water was still hot.

Emily wrapped her hands around her own mug and sat down next to JJ, tucking one leg underneath her and sitting to face the blonde. It didn't escape Emily's notice that her knee was mere centimeters away from JJ's leg, she could practically feel the magnetic pull of the woman's body and had to resist the urge to shift closer. The two simply sat staring and smiling at each other over their steaming mugs for a few seconds before either of them spoke.

"So how _was_ the conference?" JJ said finally, after taking a small sip of her tea.

"Do you like it?" Emily asked before she answered her question, hoping the answer was an affirmative.

"Yes," JJ nodded. "It's still a little hot though." They both laughed and Emily couldn't help but notice how much she loved the little crinkle that appeared above JJ's nose when she'd made the comment. She instinctively averted her eyes, afraid that they might give away too readily of how much she was enjoying the young woman's company.

"The conference was good actually," Emily said, setting her mug on the nightstand to cool off a little. She stood up, deciding she needed to be moving around and _not_ sitting inches away from JJ on a bed, a situation that she had admittedly thought about before, but always ended in a very specific way in her imagination. She moved around the bed to her suitcase and began to pull out her suits that needed to be hung up. "People had some good questions about cases…And Reid managed to not confuse the audience too much."

JJ let out a little laugh. "Yeah, sometimes it's hard to tell how people will take him."

Emily nodded, and avoided looking at the delicious blonde woman on her bed. All her misgivings about JJ, about the way JJ had reacted to their kiss, the fact that she had gone home with Will, everything, were being overridden by the late night texts and flirtatious manner in which JJ was treating her today. She wanted to be furious at herself for getting sucked in, but being around JJ was her salvation. It distracted her from the gruesome nature of the case, from her nightmares and insomnia and the fact that she continued to struggle with recovering from the whole Doyle ordeal.

"Hey," JJ said suddenly, rising from the bed. "I just remembered, I talked to Penelope about his surprise party." Emily turned around to look at JJ and listen. "She's getting everything together while we're gone, so it should all be ready when we get back to Quantico. Depending when we get back of course."

"Okay, sounds good," Emily said, unable to keep from smiling while her eyes were on JJ's.

"Good," JJ smiled back. "It's going to be you're job to get him to the party though," she said, looking seriously at Emily and moving forward to stand directly in front of her. "Think you can handle that, Agent Prentiss?"

_Jesus Christ._

Emily's heart started pounding as JJ stood so close to her, looking up into her eyes with a playful seriousness that was driving Emily crazy.

"Erm," she cleared her throat, trying to take a step backwards but finding there was no room between her and the closet. "Yes."

She wanted to engage in JJ's flirting, but she could barely form words at this point, so instead she simply turned and placed the jacket she was holding in the closet.

"Well," JJ said, taking a step over Emily's open suitcase and placing her hand on the small of Emily's back for support as she did so, "I should get to bed." Emily, again made mute by the physical contact, turned to JJ, but didn't say anything.

"Thanks for the tea," the blonde said, indicating to the cup she was setting on the dresser. Emily simply nodded as JJ walked towards the door.

"JJ," the sound escaped her lips before she could control the longing in her voice. The blonde turned back from the door and took a few steps back into the room.

"Yeah?"

Emily had no idea what she was going to say.

_You're in the middle of a case, you can't go and make things complicated right now. Flirting is one thing, but trying to push things…you know what happened last time you thought things between you were more than just friendship. _

"I…um…"

JJ moved closer, again standing directly in front of the brunette, causing any semblance of words to jumble themselves in Emily's head.

"Nothing," she said finally, shaking her head. "I can't even remember what I was going to say!" Emily let out a forced laugh, hoping JJ would buy it, or at least leave it alone.

"Okay…" JJ said hesitantly, raising an eyebrow, but not asking any questions. "Good night then," she said, reaching out and giving Emily's hand a quick squeeze. The gesture caught Emily somewhat off guard, but the contact did not seem out of place, it even felt too little. Just as quickly as she had done it though, the blonde turned and exited the room.

Emily could still feel her heart beating a mile a minute after JJ left. She stepped over her suitcase and fell onto her bed, trying to calm down her body.

_That woman…_ She thought, shaking her head and smiling at the memory of what just being close to JJ did to her. She laughed, noticing her forgotten tea on the nightstand, and dragged herself up to finish getting ready for bed.

…

As soon as JJ walked out of Emily's room, she had to force herself to walk down the hallway, open her own door, and shut herself safely inside her room. She didn't know what she had been thinking when she decided to go and see Emily, only that she couldn't get enough of being around the woman. It was a dangerous choice, though, because when Emily had said her name just then…JJ collapsed on her bed and sighed. She had wanted to kiss those lips so badly. The only thing that had stopped her was the fact that she knew if she started, there would be no way she could stop from going further – _and sleeping with your team member for the first time probably isn't the best choice when you're in the middle of a case_, she reminded herself. _Right._

JJ got up and began changing into her pajamas, but her thoughts were completely absorbed with Emily…wondering what she'd been wearing under that sweatshirt; wondering if she was sleeping in that same tank top and a pair of underwear, like JJ had seen her that morning she stayed over; wondering how her skin would feel pressed against JJ's own…

"Yeaaah," JJ spoke aloud as she climbed into bed. "This isn't going to work." She knew that if she kept indulging these trains of thought, it wouldn't be long before she'd be unable to control herself around the brown-eyed agent. She'd already been unable to stop herself from making gratuitous physical contact with Emily today. It had almost been a _need_.

_I really need to get control of this_, she thought as she switched off the light. _Nothing can happen between us. I'm with Will. Also, I'm not gay. _JJ rolled over, adjusting her blankets and closing her eyes, only to immediately be flooded with images of her coworker's figure as she had bent over to retrieve items from her suitcase.

…

The next morning, there were two more bodies found, this time stabbed. The entire team went to the crime scene. Emily was walking with Reid, going over elements of the crime when he received a call from Garcia informing him that her trace of the comment left on the newspaper had hit a dead end.

JJ and Hotch appeared behind them and Reid turned to explain that the unsub had to know that he would solve the code, and must've put it in there as a decoy.

"It's a taunt," Hotch said matter-of-fact. "He wants to prove that he's smarter than everyone."

"We fell for it," Reid said, his voice full of frustration and guilt that he had been the one who deciphered and believed the decoy clue.

Emily glanced up at JJ, both of them hearing the guilt in the young doctor's comment, but choosing not to say anything.

Reid went on, asserting that the unsub must be within five to ten years of his age, since he was obviously trying to compete with him.

"The message might not have been meant for you," Hotch cautioned, obviously worried how the young man might take such pressure.

"A letter was hand-delivered to me last night!" Reid protested, and JJ gave Emily another worried look.

"But the comment on the paper was posted at 9:03 am," Emily interjected. "We weren't even in the city yet. So how would the unsub know you'd be involved in the case?"

Reid looked down at his feet, pondering Emily's point, but JJ spoke up.

"You did give your name to the press later that day," she pointed out to Reid. "And you said yourself he knew we'd be in the park."

Emily looked at JJ, their eyes connecting across the few feet that separated them.

"If he's doing his best to emulate the Zodiac though," Emily said, her eyes still locked on JJ's, "Then killing in such quick succession would be a mistake."

"The shortest time span for the Zodiac was…" JJ paused, finally breaking eye contact with Emily. "Two weeks?" She asked, looking at the two men for confirmation. Reid nodded and Emily continued, still mostly talking to JJ.

"Well maybe the unsub doesn't have a choice. Maybe he's experiencing a time pressure that he has no control over." She looked up at JJ, who was staring at her intently. Emily looked curiously to her other coworkers, then back to JJ, who nodded as she met Emily's gaze. Emily loved working with JJ. She loved the whole team, but because of her, ahem, _special_ feelings for JJ, working with her and seeing her intelligence in action made Emily excited, in more than one way.

She quickly averted her eyes from the crystal blue ones that she was sure could read her thoughts, and her thoughts were veering into dangerously unprofessional areas. Emily also felt Hotch's eyes on her, and she had to remind herself to keep her feelings in check.

_You're surrounded by a bunch of highly trained profilers, don't think they won't notice every stolen glance_, she chided herself. _Remember what Derek said. If he noticed something, there's no way Hotch hasn't. _

"OK," the Unit Chief spoke abruptly, causing Emily to look up. "We're ready to give the profile."

Emily drew in a deep breath and caught JJ's eye once more, just briefly, before turning and following Hotch back to the car. This copycat was starting to veer from the original MO, which meant things were escalating. They needed to catch him, and fast.

…

Not even a few hours later, after Reid had decoded the actual cipher and discovered an ad placed in the China Weekly Post, they were informed that a cab driver had been found murdered.

That evening, Emily was sitting with Hotch, listening to Morgan and Rossi go over details from the latest crime scene when Hotch started handing out jobs.

"JJ and I can go check out ATM and other surveillance cameras near the newspaper," Emily quickly volunteered, hoping her eagerness to spend time with the blonde profiler was not evident in her voice. Hotch simply nodded, and Emily got up to go find JJ.

"So, uh," JJ said as the two walked down the street towards the office of China Weekly Post. "Just thought you'd volunteer me for the most boring job?" Emily blushed slightly at her coworker's teasing, embarrassed that she might have recognized the real reason Emily volunteered them both to do a job that required they be secluded from the rest of the team. She just wanted to be able to indulge in this flirting without having to worry about being profiled.

"I knew you wouldn't mind," Emily teased back, turning her head to look at JJ, who was smiling broadly.

"Ohhh, you've just got me all figured out, huh?" JJ laughed, leaning in and nudging Emily slightly. The brunette smiled, but only halfway, because the complete falsity of the statement rung clear. She absolutely did not have JJ figured out. In fact she was so thoroughly confused about what the younger woman wanted, her feelings towards her changed daily.

_But all this gratuitous touching…_

Emily shook her head lightly, trying to remind herself to be professional.

Her resolve to be professional faced a tough competitor when her and JJ were forced to sit in a cramped back room at the newspaper office, sifting through surveillance footage.

Emily was sitting in a chair, with JJ leaned over her shoulder, staring intently at the small video screen. It took all of Emily's willpower not to turn and bury her face in JJ's neck. She could smell JJ's shampoo and perfume, mixing into one glorious scent, and every so often, JJ's arm would slip slightly on the back of the chair and brush her shoulder.

Even though Emily was nearly positive there was nothing useful in the tape, she rewound it twice, just to make sure - or to _make sure _JJ stayed in such close proximity as long as possible, which JJ didn't seem to mind, because she didn't move away, even when they were watching the same footage for a third time.

"I don't think there's anything here," Emily said finally, sitting up and regretfully causing JJ to move away.

"Yeah," the blonde agreed, moving towards the door. "It's getting pretty late, we'd better get back." Emily nodded, and extracted herself from the chair behind the desk.

As they exited the newspaper office into the cool San Francisco air, Emily was taken aback when JJ sidled up close to her and slid her arm through Emily's own.

_What is she doing…_Emily's heart and head were going a mile a minute.

_This is insane. Insane. She is acting like we're…like we're a couple or something._

JJ shivered, pressing herself tighter against Emily's side.

"It really gets cold here at night!" She laughed, looking up at her brown-haired coworker. Emily couldn't help but smile down at her. The feeling of having JJ on her arm was intoxicating, and reminded her of just how much their bodies fit together. She gripped JJ's arm with her own, letting the smaller woman settle against her shoulder as they walked.

"I meant to tell you," Emily said, glancing down at the lovely blonde woman beside her, who was meeting her eyes with a particularly contented smile on her face. "Reid thinks we forgot his birthday."

She looked back up, away from JJ's face as her eye caught on two women strolling down the sidewalk in the opposite direction. They were walking arm in arm, exactly the same way her and JJ were. Immediately, Emily noticed something intimate about the other women's interaction. It was her first reaction to assume that they were a couple, and it wasn't lost on her that at that moment, one or both of those women might be thinking the exact some thing about her and JJ.

"Aww! Poor guy!" JJ laughed sympathetically, and Emily tore her eyes away from the approaching couple, realizing that JJ was responding to her comment about Reid. "Hopefully the surprise party will make up for it."

Emily kept an eye on the nearing figures, watching with evident envy as one woman was laughing about something the other had said, and at the exact moment the couple passed the two profilers, they leaned their heads together and kissed.

Immediately Emily felt JJ let go of her arm. The brunette wasn't sure if the action was because JJ had noticed the lesbian couple, or because they had nearly arrived at the car. She was pretty sure it was the former though, especially because JJ avoided her gaze most of the way back to the office.

Emily wanted to laugh at the situation, except that it was so bloody painful for her. JJ had probably been unnerved at seeing the two women, walking exactly the way they had been, and then realized they were lesbians…

_This is never going to end, Prentiss. _That annoying voice in her head was back. _She doesn't want to be with you. Even if you think you're sure she has feelings for you, she's not going to "be gay" and be in a same-sex relationship. _Sighing, Emily shook her head. She pulled the SUV into the parking lot and hopped out. Her and JJ walked side by side, wordlessly, into the office to share their lack of news with the rest of the team.

…

The case ended without another life lost, something for which Emily was extremely grateful. The major breakthrough was of course due to Reid's genius, and they had managed to find the unsub and his captive _and _the object of his obsession, a childhood friend who had collaborated with the unsub in the killing of a young boy a few decades ago.

The day after they returned to Quantico, while Reid was out at lunch, Garcia had everything set up in the roundtable room and Emily was waiting, on the lookout to intercept Reid in the hallway.

"Hey Reid!" she called, seeing young man emerged from the elevator. "Hotch wants to talk to you."

"Ohh…" Spencer trailed off, looking very much like he was dreading such a conversation.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked, suddenly slightly concerned that something might actually be wrong.

"I bet he wants to talk to me about why I've been so weird lately," Reid grimaced, and Emily remembered the conversation they had in San Francisco when Reid had confessed that he felt maybe he should be doing more with his life than working at the BAU.

"You are making a difference, you know," She said sincerely. "One person at a time." Reid gave a half-hearted smile and nodded.

"Thank you," he said slowly. "You know, I've been thinking a lot lately about why I stayed after Gideon left. Why I didn't take any of those other offers."

"Nothing is accidental," Emily nodded, quoting something Reid had said during the case.

"And I realized," the young man continued, "I don't know, there's just something incredibly _right_ about being here. With you guys." He looked at Emily with the most adorable smile on his face, and she couldn't help but return the grin.

"Well," she said, straightening up and taking his arm, turning him towards the BAU office. "I am glad to hear that. Otherwise, this would have been reeeally awkward."

"What would have been really awkward?" Reid asked confused, as Emily led him into the roundtable room, opening the door.

"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" The rest of the team, standing next to a cake and a pretty large pile of presents, cheered as Emily ushered Reid through the door. The young doctor smiled as he received hugs and kisses from his teammates. Emily just stood, beaming at the scene. She loved this team so much.

"I think he likes it," JJ came to stand next to Emily, offering her a piece of cake. Emily nodded gratefully and took the dessert, though she was still irritated at JJ for her constant hot-cold behavior. They hadn't actually spoken since the trip to China Weekly Post.

"It was really a good idea, Em." JJ's use of her nickname didn't help Emily's irritation.

"Thanks," she said simply, taking a bite of her cake.

"I didn't get him a blender, don't worry," JJ joked, indicating to the center of the room where Reid had begun to open his presents. Emily was not amused and really just wanted to get away from JJ. Flashing her a tight smile, she walked over to stand next to Hotch who was watching Rossi explain to Reid about his new membership in the Wine of the Month Club.

Hotch told everyone they had to complete at least their reports on the San Francisco case before they could go home, but they didn't have to stay until the end of the day. Emily finished quickly and was heading out to her car, when she heard her name being called across the parking lot.

"Emily!" She turned to see JJ jogging out of the building, over to her car. "Em," the blonde said breathlessly as she neared her. "Hey."

"Um, hi?" Emily was more than slightly confused why JJ was chasing her out of work.

"Er, can we talk?" JJ asked, looking slightly nervous and glancing around the parking lot to see if anyone was near.

"Um, sure," Emily hesitated, slightly annoyed, but suddenly very nervous herself.

_Where is this going…_

"I just," JJ paused, seeming unsure of herself. "I wanted to make sure things were okay, I mean between us?" She glanced up at Emily and quickly continued, "I just mean because you seemed upset wit me earlier and I don't know what I did – "

"JJ," Emily interrupted, fed up with these games and quite exasperated with her coworker. "What is it that you want?"

JJ looked taken aback, and momentarily confused. "Um, wha-what do you mean?"

"Us." Emily stated bluntly, her fears about her feelings becoming overruled by a fresh frustration towards the young woman.

JJ shook her head slowly, still looking confused.

"One minute, you can't keep your hands off me. The minute, you won't look at me. The next _day_," Emily said pointedly, "You're staring at my chest."

JJ's face turned a deep shade of red and Emily knew she hadn't been mistaken about where JJ's eyes had been concentrated during Reid's party.

"So what is it? We kissed." JJ looked away, but Emily continued. "It _happened. _It doesn't have to mean anything, but the way you're acting, I do not understand what it is you want."

"I…" JJ looked hesitantly up, meeting Emily's eyes. "I, um…"

Emily's gaze was distracted over JJ's head, where Reid and Morgan were emerging from the office building. She looked back at JJ who was playing nervously with her keys, still not forming a coherent sentence.

"Look," Emily said, sighing heavily. "I have to leave. I'm late for an appointment. If you want to finish this conversation, let me know." Before JJ could say anything else, and before her wide blue eyes could melt Emily's heart and dissapate all her frustration, she climbed in her car and shut the door. Taking a deep breath and trying to grasp the reality of what she just did, Emily turned on her car and pulled out of the lot, resisting the urge to look back at JJ.

...~...


	10. Chapter 10: Unknown Subject

**Unknown Subject**

Upon arriving home, Emily tossed her bag into the corner and collapsed onto her couch. She was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Instinctively, she brought her fingers to her mouth, but caught herself before she started biting. She had her final therapy session tomorrow, and if she was going to convince Dr. Merrill that she was coping well, she was going to have to at least appear that her anxiety level was down.

Dropping her hands, Emily sighed loudly and closed her eyes. Immediately, a million thoughts consumed her mind. JJ, the conversation she'd had with Reid in San Francisco, wondering how Reid was feeling towards her now, JJ, last night's nightmare of Doyle, how she felt about being back at work, how her _team_ felt about her being back at work, her mother, Declan, JJ,..

"Sergio," Emily's eyes flew open as she felt the cat jump up beside her on the couch. "How's my handsome man doing today?" she smiled as he made himself comfortable in her lap. Scratching behind Sergio's ears reminded Emily of the lie she had told Dr. Merrill in one of their earlier sessions:

_"How about progress forming new relationships, Emily?" The doctor had inquired. "You have a whole new life here, in a sense. How are things going with friends, family, romantic relationships…?"_

_Oh actually," Emily had said, mustering up as much fake enthusiasm as she could, "I have started seeing someone. His name is Sergio." _

_Dr. Merrill had seemed genuinely impressed. "That's quite a step."_

Emily smiled bitterly at the memory. She knew what strings to pull and exactly how to act to get people to think she was dealing well. However, remembering the invented relationship drew her thoughts eventually to JJ, which only exhausted her further and did nothing to improve her mood.

Emily hadn't planned on confronting JJ about her behavior in the parking lot. She actually just planned on letting things continue the way they were, as much as it frustrated her. But JJ's little "are we okay?" routine was getting really old. It was like she deliberately misled Emily with flirting and a seemingly genuine desire to be close to her, then pulled away, then acted all confused when Emily was distant.

The brunette drummed her fingers on the couch, absent-mindedly stroking Sergio with her other hand. All the bullshit with JJ stressed her out. She didn't know what consequences her directness would have with young blonde, and she didn't really have the energy to go through all the scenarios. But her mind still agonized over it anyway.

_What if she completely ignores you again? She might react like that, be so scared by your assumption that she had feelings for you that she completely withdraws again..._

Emily let out a heavy sigh, frustrated with her inability to shut the "JJ box" in her head.

"Who the hell cares how she reacts?" Emily said out loud, causing Sergio to look up at her. "Right, Serg? We don't care. She just needs to make up her mind." The cat seemed only to care about the attention he was getting, as he nudged her hand to continue petting his head.

"That's right," she smiled at him. "Less JJ, more scratching."

Emily chewed her bottom lip, wishing she could forget the blonde as easily as Sergio apparently could. As if she needed any more stress, with this stupid therapy session hanging over her head.

…

The next morning, Emily was sitting in that chair, counting the ways her life had changed since the whole ordeal with Ian Doyle.

"Emily." Dr. Merrill's voice broke through her parade of thoughts.

She looked up, slightly confused, not quite sure if she was supposed to be answering a question or not.

"I said, this is our last session," Dr. Merrill repeated. "It doesn't have to be goodbye though, my door is always open."

Emily tried to hide her smirk at the clichéd phrase.

"Thank you," she nodded at the doctor. "But, um…I feel good!" She made sure her body language was correctly corresponding to the words, and offered Dr. Merrill a smile. "You know? Ready."

The doctor smiled. "Good. How are your nails?" Emily knew the question was coming, and even though she hated feeling like a child, she held up her fingers for the therapist to see.

"Three days, no biting," she said making sure the pride was evident in her voice.

"Are you sleeping?"

_No._

"I _am,_" Emily said proudly again. "Uh…it's been two weeks since the last dream." The word dream was deliberate. "Nightmares" weren't normal, but dreams, everyone had dreams.

"They may not have gone away completely," Dr. Merrill said and Emily nodded, a pleasant smile still pasted across her face.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," the doctor continued, "but you never had the chance to mourn your own death, did you?"

The question was unexpected and caught the profiler off guard. "I…um…" Emily had no idea what to say. _"Mourn my own death?" No, people don't "mourn their own deaths." They die, and that's it. So what the fuck does that even mean. _ She shook her head, frowning slightly, but not too much. "I'm sorry, I don't understand the question…"

"As part of protecting your identity, your team had to bury you. They lost someone they loved," Dr. Merrill explained. "Maybe you did too." She paused, cocking her head at Emily, as though she was trying to read her reaction. "Think about it."

"I will," Emily nodded as she deliberately disregarded what the doctor had just said, not allowing her thoughts to veer from the present moment and immediate goal: getting cleared by this shrink.

…

Fifteen relatively painless minutes later, Emily was seated in the conference room with the rest of the team, listening to Penelope brief them on a case in Houston.

She had missed the first part of what Garcia had said, her mind choosing to replay Dr. Merrill's words.

"_Your team had to bury you. They lost someone they loved. Maybe you did too."_

"So Houston PD needs our boots on the ground in the Piano Man case," Garcia was saying, and Emily looked up, trying very hard to stop dwelling on her therapy appointment.

"The serial rapist?" Morgan asked, looking somewhat confused.

"Yes. The case we consulted on about eight months ago," Hotch interjected. "Twelve victims over five years, crossing racial and social lines…ages too."

"He knocks them out with a date-rape drug, and binds them with piano wire," Rossi said, the disgust evident in his voice.

"They wake up with no memory of the assault," JJ spoke up and Emily glanced at her briefly from across the table. She hadn't really interacted with JJ since the previous day when she confronted her in the parking lot. Although there hadn't been a chance for the two of them to speak given Emily's morning, she was taking the fact that JJ hadn't tried to call her or contact her in any way as an answer in and of itself. Given the content of her morning though, Emily couldn't help but look at the blonde and wonder how JJ dealt with her "death." Did she feel like she lost someone she loved, even though she knew Emily was still alive?

"They don't remember how they got the permanent scar the wire leaves," the young woman was finishing her sentence and Emily looked back at the photos projected on the screen, pushing her questions about the blonde out of her head for now.

"So he's branding his victims," she commented, making a concerted effort to put all her attention onto analyzing the facts of the case. "How does he does them?"

Well," Garcia frowned, "Houston PD still isn't sure. Because date-rape drugs metabolize quickly, and he's keeping them for twelve hours."

"So why are they calling us in now?" Morgan asked the question that was on everyone's mind.

"Because with these latest attacks, this piece of work has elevated sick and twisted to a whole new dimension," Garcia answered as she projected new photos on the screen. It appeared that the unsub was going back and attacking his previous victims, with slight changes in M.O.

"Vanessa Campbell and her husband moved to a new address, they put locks on the door, she even knew what to do if she was dosed again, and it _still_ wasn't enough," Emily said, seeing the photo evidence that one of the victims had drank a homemade emetic, vomited, and was still subdued and abducted from her own home. "_That's_ what he gets out of it."

"Their fear," Hotch added. "He wants them to know that no matter what, he can still get to them." Everyone around the table nodded. Emily couldn't help but think that Hotch's words reminded her of Ian. The way that he had come back for her, infiltrated her life, flashing his power, making sure she knew that he was in control…

She blinked hard against the memories and tried to tell herself that she was nothing like these victims. This had nothing to do with her.

…

Emily boarded the jet, still exhausted from her early morning. She was really hoping to get a nap in on the flight to Houton.

"Oh!" She said, stopping when she realized that Hotch was the only member of the team present on the plane. "I'm sorry, I thought you said 10:30." She checked her watch to make sure she had the right time.

"I did," Hotch said, looking up from the case folder he was browsing. "For you. Have a seat."

Emily wasn't sure she liked where this was going. She knew Dr. Merrill had cleared her, and she wasn't sure what else Hotch could want to discuss. She reluctantly took a seat across from him and folded her hands in her lap.

"I received Dr. Merrill's assessment," he began. "I wanted to review it with you."

Emily toyed with her fingernails, fighting the urge to bring them to her mouth or pick at them.

"Here?" she asked, slightly confused as to why they were having this sort of meeting on the jet.

"Well," Hotch smiled slightly. "I get tired of being profiled through my office window." Emily didn't smile, even though it was humorously true that every time Hotch had a meeting with anyone, the rest of the team watched through the window and tried to assess what was happening.

"Well, what is there to discuss?" Emily asked, trying to keep her voice sounding light and casual. "She gave me a clean bill of health."

Hotch glanced down at the case folder in his hands that Emily then realized was not a case folder at all, but Dr. Merrill's assessment.

"The patient shows no hesitation tackling difficult goals as part of reintegrating into her life," Hotch read, glancing up at Emily, who merely nodded. _Everything seems okay so far…_

"She has reached out to her mother," He read emphatically, giving Emily a very pointed look, as he knew that to be lie.

"I'm going to," Emily interrupted hurriedly, realizing that she was about to hear all the falsities she'd told Dr. Merrill repeated back to her. It wasn't the Doctor's assessment she had to worry about – it was Hotch. _Why did this not occur to me before?_

"-and has started a romantic relationship with a man named 'Sergio,'" Hotch looked up at her, slight amusement in his eyes, but he wasn't smiling.

Emily looked down, clearing her throat. There was no explaining this one away.

"Now," Hotch said, drawing her attention back to him. "I don't care if you lie to your therapist. All I care about is how your behavior affects your job."

"I…don't think it has," Emily frowned, wondering what the man could possibly be talking about. She had made _sure_ that her job performance was impeccable and that no one had any reason to think she wasn't doing well, or that she shouldn't be in the field.

Hotch looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "You've been overcompensating," he said, causing Emily to bristle. She had not been "overcompensating." She had had to lie to her closest friends and coworkers, and revealing that lie meant she needed to repair relationships and regain trust. She just wanted to get things back to normal, and had been making an extra effort to do that.

"How have I – "

"You rushed to repair your relationship with Morgan," Hotch interjected. "You've become an emotional sounding board for Reid and Rossi."

"That's being a good friend," Emily defended herself, not appreciating the fact that Hotch was including all of this as part of her job performance. _If he had to "die" and then come back, he might understand the need to prove yourself to your friends, to prove that you're there for them and care about them. _

"You offered me _parenting_ advice," he finished, causing Emily to pause.

_Well…he kind of has me there. Maybe that was a little bit much. _

"Okay, okay…So maybe I have been working a little bit harder to regain people's trust," she conceded. "But is that such a bad thing?"

"No," Hotch said, looking at her sincerely. "it only is if you use it to avoid dealing with what you went through."

_Oh so _that_ is what this is about_, Emily thought.

"But I'm not," she said sincerely, shaking her head. "I chose to come back here. Why? Because I care about the people I work with? Yes. But also because it's _clean_. I know who the good guys and the bad guys are…I don't have to worry about, screwing someone over to make a case." She finished, and Hotch remained silent.

"Ok," He said after a moment, still eying her. "I want you to make me a deal. You're going to go weeks, months even, feeling fine. Then, you're going to have a bad day." He held her gaze. "Just let me know when you do."

"And that's it?" Emily asked, expecting to hear something much more involved.

"That's it."

"Deal," Emily said and Hotch nodded, handing her the folder containing the assessment.

"Sergio?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and giving her a half smile.

Emily sighed and leaned back in her seat. "He _is _the perfect man. He doesn't hog the covers and he poops in a box." She looked up at Hotch who was genuinely smiling at her.

"Good to know you've found someone special," he joked. At that moment, JJ appeared in the doorway, along with the rest of the team, laughing at something Reid was saying.

"Yeah," she said softly, quickly looked away from the blonde and glancing down to play with the folder on the table. "He's a keeper."

Hotch nodded at her, giving her one last smile before he moved over to make room for Rossi and Morgan in the seats next to them.

…

Arriving in Houston, the team found out that since the press had broken the story, three more women had come forward and admitted that they had been re-assaulted. The only evidence they had was a partial fingerprint from the very first victim's glasses. There was nothing to match it to, however, since the other women had waited so long any evidence from their cases was considered contaminated.

Apparently, Emily's luck at avoiding JJ had come to an end, because Hotch paired them up to interview the victims. She had to sit next to the blonde and her perfect hair, and stay focused on the task at hand. JJ still hadn't said a word to her directly, and it was really starting to piss Emily off.

_She could at least apologize for her fucking mixed signals. Or for being an ass whenever she got uncomfortable, _Emily fumed during one particularly long break between interviews.

It wasn't until the third interview when the woman asked to take a smoke break, when the two profilers finally turned to look at each other. As the woman went outside to smoke, JJ turned to Emily.

"It can't be a coincidence that they all smoke, right?"

Emily shook her head. "I don't think so…" She paused. _That's it._ "JJ," she said, not realizing she'd used the blonde's name until JJ turned, looking slightly startled. Brushing off the inadvertent intimacy, Emily continued, "I think that's how he's drugging them. Rossi said it couldn't be through their stomachs because the CSI's didn't find any traces of date-rape drugs in Vanessa Campbell's vomit. But if they were _inhaling _it…"

"It would be absorbed right into their bloodstream through their lungs," JJ finished her sentence. "And it would metabolize even faster than if they swallowed a pill."

"Exactly," Emily concluded. "We need to start asking these women when they started smoking." JJ nodded enthusiastically at her, and the women sat there, staring at each other for a moment before they remembered their current position. They both quickly looked away, JJ busying herself flipping through her notes and Emily toying with her phone.

_This is so stupid, _she thought. _Why does she have to make everything so fucking difficult?_

They managed to finish the interviews without much more interaction. They realized that all the women were smokers before they were assaulted the first time, which seemed to confirm their theory about the drugs. Emily called to inform Reid who was at Vanessa Campbell's house with Morgan examining the crime scene and interviewing her husband.

…

Later that night, the police found Vanessa Campbell's body dumped on the side of the road. The M.E. found a piece of neoprene glove in her throat, which indicated that at some point, she had regained consciousness and fought back against the Piano Man.

The next morning, while Emily was reviewing some of the facts with Hotch, one of the women she had interviewed, Diane Mitchell, showed up at the station.

"I heard he killed Vanessa," Diane explained when Emily was quite surprised to see her there. "He could be after any one of us now." The woman looked terrified, and Emily didn't quite know what to say, but Diane continued. "I wasn't completely honest before. I did regain some consciousness during the second assault."

"Okay," Emily nodded. "Let's go somewhere else to talk." She led Diane back to the interview room, where she began to tell her story.

"There were a couple things different than what you said though," Diane explained. "He didn't tie me up. And there wasn't a song. He talked to me, but there wasn't a song."

"Do you remember what he said?" Emily asked gently, not wanting to upset the clearly on edge woman.

"No," Diane shook her head. "When he was done, he bashed my head into the floor of his van." She paused, obviously lost in thought. Emily waited a moment, not wanting to push.

"Sometimes in my dreams," Diane finally spoke, "I can still hear his voice." Again, Emily's brain was trigged and flooded with memories of her own nightmares, Doyle whispering in her ear, telling her he was going to take her life. She tried to hide her shudder by shifting in her seat, but it appeared Diane was too absorbed in her own memories to notice Emily's behavior.

_This has nothing to do with you,_ she tried to remind herself sternly. _You're fine, you're not letting this affect your job. Get it together._

Thankfully, the interview was ended by Hotch knocking on the door. The rest of the team had arrested Herman Scobie, a hospital orderly who rotated shifts at all the hospitals the victims used, _and_ who happened to be allergic to latex, providing an explanation for the piece of neoprene glove found in Vanessa Campbell's throat.

…

JJ was standing next to Diane, watching as Emily went in to question Herman Scobie. Hotch was allowing Diane to observe, with JJ's supervision, in case anything triggered her memory.

"Where's my lawyer?" JJ watched Scobie demand immediately when Emily entered the room.

"Oh, we called him. He's on his way," Emily lied convincingly. "I'll tell you what, I'll let him fill you in on the Piano Man investigation." She turned to leave the room, and JJ knew she was baiting him.

"Uh, the what?" Scobie bit.

"The Piano Man," Prentiss called, pausing with the door slightly open. "You might have read about him."

"A little," Scobie replied, his eyes still on Emily. "What, you think I'm him?"

As she watched, JJ couldn't help but be thoroughly impressed by the brunette's interrogation skills. She could manipulate an unsub almost as good as Rossi.

"No." Emily said, shutting the door and turning back into the room. "At least, I don't." She took a seat across from Scobie, and placed her hands on the table. JJ could only see the back of her, but she knew very well that the way Emily was leaning forward on the table and the way her shirt was cut, was revealing quite the view for Herman.

"The problem is," Emily was saying, "the way you treat some of your dates is a little similar to this guy." Scobie just raised his eyebrows.

"Now, I'm not judging," Emily assured him. "Some guys like it rough. In fact," she paused. "Well, never mind."

JJ heard her tone of voice, watched her body language, and she knew Emily was flirting with this guy. Obviously, it was to manipulate him to talk, but JJ couldn't help but be slightly aroused watching Emily. The thing was, she knew Emily had a wild side – "Sin to Win" weekends in Atlantic City and the like – _and_ she had often wondered what Emily would be like in bed.

_You have not often wondered. Stop it. Focus goddamn it. And NOT on her ass._

Emily had stood up, feigning like she was about to leave the room again, and of course, JJ's eyes had been drawn to certain parts of the brunette's anatomy.

"No, go ahead," Scobie took the bait again, not that JJ could blame him. With Emily talking like that, if she was on the other side of that table, she would start _singing_ to keep the dark-haired woman in the room.

"Um, no," Emily tossed her hair and looked down at the man. "I can't."

_My god her voice_. JJ smiled, very much enjoying watching her coworker work her magic.

"Maybe you already did," Scobie said, leaning forward across the table, giving Emily a meaningful look. The profiler seemed to decide this was enough, because she sat back down.

"Most of the people here aren't as," she paused and JJ could only imagine the look on her face at that moment, "as _understanding _as I am," Emily finished. "So, between us…did you ever get a little too rough?"

"Never," Scobie answered, although the way he was looking at Emily made JJ extremely uncomfortable. Suddenly, JJ wanted very much for Emily to drop the whole flirting act. Jealousy, rage, protection, disgust, the overwhelming desire to go in there and beat that perv's head in for eyeing Emily like that, consumed JJ. She stiffened, crossing her arms and drawing in a sharp breath as she watched Emily continue.

"What about those naughty girls who came back for seconds?"

"What about them?"

"They're the ones _screeching_ the loudest," Emily answered. "What I need from you is a reason to kick them to the curb."

"Look at the notches on their bedpost," Scobie answered and JJ felt Diane shift slightly next to her. "You think they're innocent?" he continued and Emily laughed, although JJ knew her well enough to know the laugh was one of disbelieving disgust at this guy's attitude.

"Besides," Scobie said, leaning in towards Emily. "Nobody believes a slut who cries wolf."

Diane gasped. The sentence was the exact same wording she had used in her interview with JJ and Emily, and JJ immediately knew where it had come from, even if Diane hadn't known herself.

"Huh," Emily let out a scoffing laugh. "I'm going to quote you on that." She stood up and turned to look at JJ through the glass. Emily's face was a look of fury, a far cry from the flirtatious smile that had been there seconds before.

As Emily came out into the observation area, she exchanged a look with JJ, who was putting her arm around Diane. The woman was struggling not to completely break down.

"That was just something I told myself after the second time," she cried. "How did he know…"

"Your brain remembers details no matter how hard you try to forget," JJ said slowly. "It's just like the song."

"It's him," Diane said, staring at the man through the glass, and JJ watched Emily go inform the rest of the team.

…

It was while searching Herman Scobie's house to build evidence for the case that Reid's genius realized the man was too young to be the Piano Man. He may have attacked Diane the second time, but he didn't kill Vanessa Campbell, and wasn't the original rapist.

Armed with that information, and the fact that the real Piano Man was trying to frame him for the murder of Vanessa Campbell, Hotch and Emily went back to talk to Scobie.

Due to Hotch's intimidating scowl, it didn't take long for Scobie to start explaining that he was choosing his victims based on their hospital records, and that's how he knew who had been attacked by the Piano Man. He said that he had figured no one would believe their claims a second time. The story was disgusting, but Scobie didn't have any information on who the actual Piano Man was. He did say, however, that he had been deciding between two women for his next victim and had chosen Vanessa Campbell, but the Piano Man got to her first. The other woman was Regina Lampert, the Piano Man's first victim.

Hotch and Emily left the interrogation room and Hotch immediately called Garcia and told her to get in touch with Regina Lampert. Garcia's calls went unanswered, but she found a surveillance video from the bar where Regina worked. On the video, Regina was talking to the man playing the piano, with whom she appeared to leave from the footage at closing time. Garcia added that the man's name was Hamilton Bartholemew, and that his wife had filed a missing person's report on him that morning.

Hotch immediately ordered the team to head to Regina Lampert's house, and for Garcia to run the partial fingerprint from Regina's glasses from the first attack, against Bartholemew's.

On their way to the Lampert residence, Emily got a call.

"It's a match," she told Hotch who was driving the SUV. "Hamilton Bartholemew is the Piano Man."

"She's going to kill him, if he's not already dead," Hotch commented, speeding up.

Emily felt her body tense. She understood the desire to get revenge, to torture someone to make up for the suffering they'd caused, but she hated to see a victim end up behind bars because they took justice into their own hands.

Pulling up to the house and hearing a gunshot, the team sprang from their cars and burst through the front door, guns drawn. Emily was first, and saw Regina with a gun pointed at Bartholemew's head. It was pretty much exactly what she feared they would find.

"Regina," Emily started, trying to calm the woman. "This man is not who you think he is."

Regina didn't back down. "I have waited five years for this," she said, tightening her grip on the gun.

"We ran the rape kit, Regina," Emily said, inching forward. "The fingerprint the police got off your glasses, do you remember?" She could tell that Regina was listening to her now. "We compared it to Hamilton's. It didn't match." Regina looked at her with a pained look on her face. She shook her head, and looked from Emily to Hotch, who stayed silent.

"That's impossible," she breathed, looking back to the man lying on the ground. "That's him. It's him."

"If you pull that trigger," Emily continued, "You're going to kill an innocent man." She didn't like lying to this woman at all, but she couldn't think of another way to prevent her from making a terrible mistake.

That did the trick. Regina, still shaking her head, crying in disbelief, lowered her weapon and Emily moved in. She had to cuff Regina because of the abduction circumstances, and it turned out to be a good thing because as they were exiting the house, Regina saw Morgan putting handcuffs on Hamilton.

"Hamilton Bartholemew, you're under arrest for the rape of 12 women and the murder of Vanessa Campbell," Emily heard Morgan saying and her heart sank. She knew Regina had seen. She would have found out anyway, but Emily had hoped they'd at least be able to get back to the police station first. Regina turned and looked at Emily with a look of horrified fury. Tears fell down her cheeks as she began to protest.

"You should've let me…why didn't you let me kill him! He would be dead! He would be…" her voice trailed off into tears, and Emily had to exert significant strength to steer her away from Hamilton and into one of the vehicles.

_You made the right choice, _Emily told herself as she climbed into the front seat, her heart breaking for the woman who was still crying in protest. _She would be going to jail right now if you hadn't stopped her._

…

Back at the police station, Hotch told Emily that Regina insisted that she be the one to take her statement.

The brunette nodded, exhausted, but she felt a sort of obligation as she still identified with this case more than she cared to admit.

She walked into the interrogation room and took the seat opposite Regina.

"I was told that you would only give your statement to me," Emily said, setting her pad and pen down on the table between them.

"Why didn't you let me pull the trigger?" Regina asked immediately, looking at Emily with an empty expression. She looked empty, devastated.

"Because you would be in prison," Emily answered, still convincing herself that it was the right decision.

"As opposed to where I am right now?" The red haired woman sat back in her chair, staring at Emily, daring her to answer. "I mean, while he gets a lawyer. And a fair trial…"

"He will _never_ see the light of day," Emily said, trying to reassure her. "Ever."

"Can you guarantee that?" Regina challenged, and Emily just blinked. The honest answer was no, she couldn't. And for once she didn't know what to say.

"You know," Regina broke the silence. "When they talk about victims getting revictimized by the system, they mean _you_."

The statement jabbed Emily. She was supposed to be one of the good guys, but she couldn't help wondering if Regina was right. She hesitated again, not knowing how to make the woman feel better. "I know it's hard, but-"

"No, you don't," Regina interrupted. "You have _no idea_ what it's like when the monster from your nightmares comes back for you."

"_The monster from your nightmares._" Ian Doyle's face flashed in Emily's mind. His voice. His fists against her ribs; the burn of his brand on her chest; his face, laughing down at her as she lay bleeding on the floor of that warehouse.

Emily looked down at the table, trying to push the horrific memories out of her head. Nervously, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and could no longer meet the woman's gaze.

"Wait…" Regina paused, obviously noticing the shift in Emily's behavior.

"Look," Emily said, trying to recover before Regina could get any further. "I'm here as a courtesy…" she fumbled for words, still unable to meet the other woman's eye.

"Something happened to you," Regina continued as she studied Emily's face.

Emily shook her head, as if that could make the subject go away. "So, do you want to give me your statement or not?"

"What'd you do," Regina leaned across the table, looking directly into the profiler's eyes. "Did you arrest him, like a good FBI agent? Or did you kill him." It was a statement more than a question.

Emily closed her eyes, willing to be anywhere else, anyone else. She couldn't stop the reel of memories though: from when she got the call that Ian was back in the States, to when she realized he knew who and where she was, to her first sight of him, packing her bag and getting out of her apartment, going after him, with the full intention of killing him…

"I didn't pull the trigger," she said finally, opening her eyes and looking at the broken woman in front of her.

"Still." Regina didn't back away. "You're monster's _dead_."

Emily just stared. She suddenly felt as though everything were wrong. She had told Hotch that this job was clean, but she was wrong. There was nothing clean about this. There were no clear lines between good guys and bad guys. Where did Regina fit in those categories? Where did _she_ fit?

All the stability Emily had relied on suddenly collapsed. She didn't know who she was, or what she was doing, sitting here telling this woman that she "saved her from a life in prison" when in reality, her whole life was still going to be a prison as long as that man was still alive. _Even if he was dead_. Doyle was dead, but he was still seemed to run Emily's life.

"I have to live with mine," Regina said, still staring at Emily. She tapped the legal pad sitting between them. "That's my statement."

…

JJ hadn't seen Emily taking down Regina Lampert's statement, but she didn't imagine it could have gone well. The red-haired woman had been screaming and crying, hurling insults and fury at Emily as she walked her into the station. From all the yelling and a brief conversation with Morgan, JJ had gathered that Emily talked Regina out of shooting the Piano Man by lying to her.

Needless to say, JJ was significantly surprised when she walked past the front of the police station and noticed Emily standing outside, talking with Regina. The woman was being allowed to go home, no charges were to be filed against her.

JJ watched as the two conversed. Neither looked angry, in fact JJ could tell that they were both being especially gentle with each other. At one point, Emily hugged Regina, her hand lingering on the woman's arm as she pulled away to say something else to her. A harsh jealousy immediately sprang up inside JJ as she watched the scene.

_Okay, I get comforting the victim, but seriously. Now she's just flirting._

Frowning, JJ shifted and continued to watch as Emily handed Regina her card. She could see Emily clearly saying "Call me if you need anything. Anytime."

And Regina was just eating it all up. She leaned in and embraced Emily again.

_Thirty minutes ago she was furious at Emily, now she can't keep her damn hands off her, _JJ thought angrily as she turned away from the window, unable to watch any more, and went to go gather her things.

Stalking down the hall, trying to push the image of Emily lingering on Regina's arm out of her mind, JJ almost walked headlong into the brunette.

"Oh! Sorry," Emily said, reaching out to steady JJ. "Where are you off to in such a hurry?"

"Trying to get ready to leave," JJ said shortly, moving herself away from the older woman's touch and completely avoiding her eyes.

"Oh, right. Wheel's up soon, yeah? I better get my stuff too," Emily offered a small smile and moved to continue on her way.

"How was Regina?" JJ said before she could stop herself. She couldn't help it. She didn't get why, but seeing the two of them so friendly had really set her on edge.

Emily looked slightly taken aback at the blunt question. "Um, she was pretty shaken up, and angry at me..." the brunette trailed off, shrugging slightly and looked as though she was about to walk away.

"Didn't look like she was _too_ angry," JJ muttered, rolling her eyes.

Emily immediately stopped, turning to face JJ. "What is that supposed to mean?"

JJ let herself become indignant at Emily's angry tone. "Just that you guys looked awful friendly in the parking lot, that's all," she said, meeting Emily's eyes with equal intensity.

"You have _got_ to be _kidding_ me," Emily scoffed. She shook her head at the blonde.

"You were – she was flirting with you!" JJ blurted out, flushing. "And you weren't exactly _not _encouraging her!"

Emily's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "I cannot believe..." She shook her head again, obviously growing increasingly angry. "No. You know what, JJ, I don't have the time or the energy for your _crap_ right now," she snapped, pushing past the blonde. She only took a few steps before she stopped and turned back. "And why are you even acting like you have some right to care?" she yelled. "It's not like you...you don't even..." Unable to finish her sentence, Emily just threw up her hands and strode angrily away down the hall.

JJ was left standing there, trembling from her own frustration. _Well...she _was_ flirting_, JJ attempted to justify herself. _It was unprofessional. That's why I care. Obviously. _

Despite her reasoning, Emily's words, the ones that JJ had been avoiding for days, echoed in her head. _"JJ, what is it that you want?"_

...

JJ was still maintaining her irritation at Emily when she boarded the jet half an hour later. She was slightly early, but she just wanted to be alone and really wasn't in the mood for Morgan and Reid's joking. She had a right to be angry at Emily. She was flirting with a victim! And…it was…_Even more infuriating that she was right about you sending her completely contradictory signals? Yeah, I can see why that would make you angry. _

JJ bit her lip, not appreciating the voice of reason choosing that moment to speak up.

Walking into the cabin, she saw Hotch sitting facing the door, talking to someone she quickly realized to be Emily.

JJ saw the brunette follow Hotch's gaze, turning to look over her shoulder. JJ could immediately tell that she had been crying.

"I…" Words caught in her throat as her eyes met Emily's. She wasn't sure if she should stay or go, as worry about Emily flooded her gut, combined with guilt about the fact that she had just yelled at the woman not thirty minutes ago.

"I'm so sorry," JJ managed, finally finding her voice and Emily looked away, turning back towards Hotch. "I didn't think…I didn't know you guys were meeting…"

Hotch nodded at her. "It's okay, JJ," he said before she could say anything else. "Can you give us a minute?" His tone communicated clearly that it wasn't really a request. JJ nodded silently and hurried off the plane. Out on the tarmac, she stood, feeling like a complete ass.

_Oh god. I hope everything is okay…I can't believe I was such a jerk to her_. JJ ran her fingers through her hair and glanced back up at the plane. It wasn't often that she had witness Emily crying, and seeing her face…it broke JJ's heart. She wanted to go to Emily, to hold her, to tell her she was sorry…

"Hey JJ, is everything ok?" Reid, Morgan and Rossi were approaching from the hangar laden with their bags.

"Oh! Um, yeah," JJ rearranged her face into a friendly smile. "I was just waiting to get on the plane. You know, enjoying the fresh air before the long flight…"

Rossi smiled. "It's certainly going to be colder when we get back. Better enjoy the warm air while you can."

JJ nodded and flashed him a quick grin. She couldn't think of anything else to say to stall them as they began to pass her and climb the stairs onto the jet. She just hoped Hotch and Emily had taken note of the time.

When they all entered the cabin, Hotch was pouring himself a glass of water and Emily was reading a book. Both of them looked like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. JJ watched Emily apprehensively, wanting very much to go sit by the brunette and take her hand, to apologize, to make sure everything was okay…But she was too afraid that might just make things worse. Instead, JJ took a seat next to Reid, and spent the flight watching the young man beat the pants off of Morgan at chess.

...

That night, Emily arrived home with too many emotions gathered over the lst two days. She slammed the door behind her as she entered her condo and threw her purse onto the counter. She went immediately to the cupboard, and grabbed a glass with the complete intention of filling it full of whiskey. Staring at the liquor bottle in her right hand and the empty glass in her left, unbridled rage filled her body. Ian Doyle had stolen her life from her. He was dead, and he STILL had the power to fill her with fear.

"_Sometimes in my dreams, I can still hear his voice."_

Emily's grip on the glass tightened at the memory of Diane's words.

" _Your monster is dead." _

"_Your team buried you. They lost someone they loved. Maybe you did too." _

"FUCK!" Emily screamed, unable to silence the echoes in her head. She turned, hurling the empty glass against the far wall, watching it shatter as shards of glass scattered all over the kitchen. She sank to the floor, the unopened bottle falling beside her.

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!_ She repeated silently, her eyes shut tight.

Tears stung her cheeks, despite her clenched jaw holding back sobs. Emily Prentiss was dead. Her life was over. Ian Doyle hadn't succeeded in killing her, but he had somehow managed to end her life.

The thought wasn't comforting at all, but for some reason it quelled the flow of tears. Wiping her eyes, Emily slowly looked around her silent kitchen. This wasn't working. This place belonged to a dead woman. She needed to get out of here. Needed a new life. That was the answer.

Suddenly strangely calm, Emily stood up and walked numbly upstairs to her room. She pulled a suitcase out of her closet, and throwing it open on her bed, she began to pack.

...~...


	11. Chapter 11: Snake Eyes

A/N: Thanks everyone for your reviews and messages - I love to hear that people are enjoying the story!

* * *

><p>"<strong>Snake Eyes"<strong>

JJ stood washing her hands in the bathroom at the BAU. The image of Emily's face, her eyes shining with tears as she looked over her shoulder when JJ entered the jet, hung in the blonde's mind. She stared at her reflection, berating herself for flinging angry accusations at Emily earlier.

_Why did you freak out on her like that? You said that she was flirting. FLIRTING._

JJ stood, caught in a trance as her mind seemed to be finally adding up all the events of the past few months. JJ felt the hot water running over her hands, but she could only stare at herself in the mirror.

_The kiss. _

_The flirting._

_The cuddling._

_The late night texting._

_The jealousy._

_The not being able to stop looking at her ass._

She had to tell her.

Quickly shutting off the water and not bothering to dry her hands, JJ ran out of the bathroom.

"Whoa, JJ! Where's the fire?" Derek was coming around the corner and almost collided with JJ as she bolted from the restroom.

"Is Emily still here?" JJ asked breathlessly, as she steadied herself and started to continue down the hall before he even answered.

"Um, actually, I think she went home already," Morgan called after her, causing her to stop in her tracks.

_Shit_.

"Oh," she sighed, not quite sure what her next move was going to be.

"Everything ok?" Morgan was still standing there, giving her an inquisitive look.

"Oh, I uh..." JJ fumbled over her words, her mind preoccupied as it frantically was trying to decide whether she should go after Emily.

"JJ?" Morgan took a step toward her, now looking slightly concerned.

"Yeah!" she snapped out of her daze and flashed Morgan a smile. "Everything's fine. I was just hoping to catch her before she left, that's all."

The young man nodded. "Ok. Well, see you Monday," he said, still looking at her curiously.

"What?" JJ's brain was already back on the subject of a certain raven-haired agent. "Oh, yeah. See you." She waved at him and turned to leave. She still didn't know if she was going to head home or try to find Emily. It was only 5pm, she could realistically leave now and get to Emily's within the hour, but that was assuming Emily had gone straight home. Maybe she should call first, or text her to see if –

The runaway train of thought was derailed by JJ's cell phone ringing from within her purse.

It was Will, wondering if she was going to be home for dinner.

"Yep!" She answered breezily, suddenly remembering herself. She had a man, a family. She couldn't just go chasing after random women she thought she found attractive.

_But Emily's not some" random woman"…_

Before she could start arguing with herself, she heard Henry's little voice in the background over the phone, yelling excitedly as Will informed him that she was on her way home. Smiling ruefully, JJ hung up and headed to her car.

…

Sitting at the dinner table with her family further reminded JJ of all the reasons she should leave the Emily thing alone. Her son was ecstatic to see her, and as usual, the little boy lit up her world. Even Will was genuinely happy that she was home and refrained from making any comments about how rare it was that she make it in time for dinner. After dinner, the three of them played a game of Candy Land, and JJ was thoroughly enjoying the company of her family.

"Hey Little Man, you can't that!" Will laughed as Henry moved his game piece randomly across the board to the finish. "You picked a green card, so you have to go to the green square." He showed Henry the card, matching it to the square on the board. "See? The colors match."

"No Daddy," Henry shook his head, looking seriously at Will. "The green ones means that the hairy green man chased you."

JJ snorted as Will looked thoroughly confused at his son's explanation. She had played Candy Land enough times with Henry to know that he changed the rules every time.

"Ohh, is _that_ what the green one means?" Will asked, a mischevious smile spreading across his face as his son nodded solemnly. "So you just get to go to the castle, huh?"

"Yes," Henry said, as he drew another card. "And this one is yours." He handed Will the card that had the Lollipop Princess's face on it.

"Oh so I get to go to the Princess Castle," Will picked up his piece and moved it, but Henry grabbed it from him.

"No. She isn't home. You have to go back." The little boy placed his father's piece back at the starting square.

"Oh she's not home, huh?" Will asked, reaching over and tickling his son. "Is that the rule?" He laughed as Henry giggled and rolled on the floor out of his reach.

"And what about Mommy?" Will asked Henry as JJ drew a card.

"Mine's purple," JJ smiled and showed it to her son, who took her piece and moved it to the castle with his own.

"Purple is magic carpet," Henry explained. "Like Aladdin. So you come with me."

"Oh _Mommy_ gets to go to the castle," Will laughed and feigned a pout as his son held up his hands.

"She got a purple one."

"Yeah, I got a _purple _one," JJ teased, nudging Will.

"Mmhmm," Will grabbed JJ around the waist and pulled her into his lap. "I see how you guys are ganging up on me." He laid a kiss on her neck and rested his chin on her shoulder, looking at their son.

"Well, since you've both won, I think it's time for your bedtime, Little Man." Henry's eyes widened and he looked hopefully to his mother.

"Not yet?" He asked, and JJ couldn't help but laugh at his adorable effort.

"I think so, buddy," She smiled, moving out of Will's arms and standing up. "Come on, help Daddy put away the game and I'll get you a bedtime snack." She winked at her son, who seemed much happier at the prospect of going to bed if a snack was involved.

After putting Henry to bed and reading him a story, JJ went back downstairs to finish cleaning up the kitchen. Will was sitting in the living room, reading a magazine, and she looked at him affectionately.

She hadn't laughed so much with Will in a long time. She felt joy she had forgotten she could feel in that house, as she watched her son and his father interact. It was times like these, when they all were together and happy, that reminded JJ that she _had_ the family she so desperately wanted.

But she _still_ couldn't get Emily out of her head.

"_What is it that you want, JJ?"_

Emily's words repeated themselves in her head as JJ wiped down the countertop. She glanced back up at Will.

_You don't love him._

The thought agitated JJ. With Henry in bed, she was left alone with Will and was having to face her feelings, or lack thereof.

_He's a good man, _She reminded herself, scrubbing harder at the stubborn spot on the counter. She saturated it with Lysol and it still wasn't coming up. _He treats you right, he cares for you, and he's Henry's dad._

But Emily…

JJ's thoughts from the BAU bathroom sink haunted her.

_You're going to lose her if you don't make things right. If you don't tell her how you feel._

JJ folded the cloth she was holding and went over the counter again. She couldn't lose Emily. She had no desire to hurt Will or leave her family, but the thought of losing Emily's friendship was unbearable.

_I just need to explain things_, she thought, _I just need to apologize and give her an explanation…nothing is going to happen between us…_

"Hey," Will walked into the kitchen. "You trying to bleach the counter?"

JJ looked down, somewhat startled to find that she was still holding the bottle of cleaner and had been spraying the counter yet again.

"Oh! I…um…"

Will laughed, stepping behind her and sliding his arms around her waist. "I'm heading up," He said, kissing her cheek. "You coming?"

JJ stood, staring at the counter, caught between her previous thoughts concerning Emily and the presently man holding her.

"You've got to be exhausted, I could-"

"I need to go see Emily." The words flew out of JJ's mouth before she could stop them. She stayed still, unable to see Will's face for a reaction.

"Okay…" the young man drawled, pulling back and looking at her curiously. "Do you have to go now? It's nearly ten o'clock."

JJ tried to ignore the obvious disappointment in his voice. "I…she was having a really tough time with the case," JJ fumbled over her words as she turned from his arms. That wasn't exactly a lie…She could tell that Emily had been struggling, it just wasn't the exact reason JJ was so intent on going to see her. "It brought up a lot of…Doyle stuff…" JJ added, trailing off and waiting for Will's reaction. She hated this, lying to him, but she _needed_ to talk to Emily.

"Yeah, of course," the man nodded. "Take her some lasagna if you want," he indicated to the fridge, where JJ had stored their leftovers from dinner. "They say nothing soothes the soul like home-cooked food." JJ nodded at him, unable to form words through the overwhelming guilt she was feeling at his kindness.

"I'm heading to bed though, so take your keys." He leaned in and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. "Good night, hun."

"Good night," JJ said as she watched him walk upstairs.

JJ was left standing in the kitchen, second-guessing everything she had just done. _He trusts you, and you're lying to him…_

Yeah, but nothing's going to happen. I just need to talk to her.

_Now? In the middle of the night?_

JJ ignored the arguing in her head and gathered her coat and her purse. She had already told the lie to Will and disappointed him, she might as well go. And anyway, it wasn't long before her mild panic resumed and the guilt she felt was drowned out by nerves about the impending conversation.

…

Packing had taken much longer than Emily intended. She had started, unpacked, and repacked half a dozen times, caught between wanting nothing of "Emily Prentiss" to come with her into her new life, and her pragmatic personality – _You're going to need clothes no matter who you are._

After hours of that, and some time spent laying on her floor and staring emotionless at the ceiling, Emily really felt prepared to go.

She dragged her suitcase down the stairs and paused by the door. She wanted to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything important. She ran through a mental checklist: Cat bowls - check. Cat food - check. Cat...she could come back and get Sergio after she loaded the car. She turned back to the door. This whole thing felt eerily like the night she left to go after Ian, but she quickly pushed the memory out of her head.

_Emily Prentiss is dead. _

She couldn't dwell in that area too long or her logic concerning leaving her team would collapse and she knew it. She had spent the last few hours vacillating over whether or not she could do this to them again. But she came to the same conclusion every time. She didn't know who she was anymore. She needed a new start, and it was only going to come if she left Washington.

Taking a deep breath and steeling her resolve, she reached for the handle and pulled open the door, immediately finding herself face to face with JJ.

"Wha-"

"Emily!" JJ looked startled, her hand frozen midair, posed to knock on the door.

_This cannot be happening_.

Emily had not counted on encountering any obstacles to her departure, especially not at 10:30 at night, and _definitely _not one in the form of JJ on her doorstep.

"Emily, I need to talk to you," JJ blurted out, seeming unaware that she had interrupted any part of the brunette's life.

"I was so stupid, I-" JJ stopped abruptly as she noticed the suitcase behind Emily. Looking from the bags back to Emily's face, JJ's eyes suddenly widened. "What...where are you going?"

The whole situation had thrown Emily completely off guard. She blinked at the blonde, trying to find her voice.

"Wh-what are you _doing_ here?" Emily finally demanded, disregarding JJ's question.

"I wanted to talk to you," the blonde said slowly. "But…" She paused, looking at the bags in Emily's hands again. "Emily, where are you going?"

Emily shook her head. "I don't have time for this," she mumbled, grabbing her suitcase and moving to slide past JJ out the door. The blonde, however, didn't budge, blocking Emily's exit.

She reached out and gently touched Emily's arm. "Em, what is going on?"

Her concerned affection and use of Emily's shortened name breathed fresh frustration into the brunette. This was not how this was supposed to go. Emily Prentiss was dead. Determined not to break down again, Emily gritted her teeth, and kept her head down, refusing to meet JJ's eyes.

"Just let me…" She shook off JJ's hand, and tried to push past her again.

"Emily!" JJ moved, grabbing both of Emily's shoulders and trying to look the brunette in the eye.

"Just let me _go_!" Emily shouted, unable to keep her emotions in check. She pushed into JJ, struggling to keep hold of all her bags and get out the door.

"No," JJ insisted, still grasping the struggling Emily. "Em, _what_ is going on?"

"I…I'm…" her struggle for words was mirrored in her physical effort to exit her condo. Her bags were slipping off her shoulder, as she tried to maneuver around the stolid JJ. "I'm DEAD!" She cried, as her laptop bag slipped off her shoulder, the shift in weight causing her to lose her grip on the suitcase, sending it clattering to the floor. She finally met JJ's eyes for a brief moment, as tears began to escape.

"I died," She said again, dropping the rest of her bags to the floor and giving up fighting JJ. "You guys buried me," her voice cracked, "And I don't know how…" The rest of her sentence dissolved into tears as JJ moved to take her limp body into her arms.

"Hey," JJ soothed, clearing the suitcases out of the way with her foot as she walked the crying Emily back into her hallway. Emily collapsed against JJ, who eased them both to the floor.

"Shh," She pressed Emily's head against her shoulder as she settled against the wall.

Sobs wracked Emily's body, as she let JJ hold her. Her life was a mess, she had no idea who she was, or how to stop Doyle from haunting her from the grave…and here was JJ…

"You're the pretty much last person I want to see right now," Emily sniffed through her tears, staying rested against JJ's form.

"I know," JJ answered simply, laying a soft kiss on the crown of Emily's head and continuing to stroke her hair.

"I had to get out," she whispered, tears still streaming down her face. "I thought I could come back to this, but I just…" she began to cry again and JJ held her tighter. "I don't know how to be Emily Prentiss…she died…" Heavy sobs consumed her once more.

"Shh," JJ whispered again, her arms wrapped tightly around Emily. "It's alright. It's going to be alright." She let Emily cry against her for some time, just stroking her hair and holding her close.

"I just needed to leave," Emily whispered, after her sobbing had calmed down. She sat up, pulling away from JJ and wiping her eyes.

"Hey," JJ said gently. "You went through a horrific trauma. Unimaginable trauma. Physically and emotionally…And it's going to take time, but you are still Emily Prentiss." JJ paused as Emily squeezed her eyes shut against more tears.

The blonde reached out and caressed Emily's cheek. "And she is an amazing, strong, intelligent, nerdy-" Emily let out a small laugh and shook her head, trying to prevent from crying again- "caring, gentle, woman we all know."

JJ smiled, wiping away a rogue tear from Emily's cheek. "We, the team, we're your family, Em. We need you around. It's just going to take time processing all this, but we're here for you. Okay?"

Emily nodded as JJ leaned in and kissed her temple. "We're not going anywhere," she whispered, still cupping Emily's face in her hand and tenderly kissing away the tear that was sliding down Emily's cheek.

The move surprised Emily, and she stared at JJ as the young woman raised her eyes to meet Emily's own. They were both frozen, completely caught up in each other. Emily's mind was racing, trying to figure out what JJ was thinking, but she was having trouble forming a coherent thought.

"JJ," Emily breathed. It was supposed to be an attempt at a stern warning, something designed to protect Emily from another kiss-and-run scenario. Instead, the name fell off her lips tenderly, caught up in awe at the woman's action and the current blazing look darkening her blue eyes.

She felt JJ's thumb move slightly against her cheek. The blue eyes flicked down at her lips, and back up into Emily's brown orbs, searching. Emily could see the question of permission in JJ's gaze, and as much as she tried, she was sure that her own eyes were not conveying resistance. JJ moved, and Emily's eyes fell closed as she felt the warmth of JJ's lips against hers. The kiss wasn't deep, but it was firm with intention, sincerity. JJ held her lips against Emily's for a moment, as if she was trying to make it clear that she meant for them to be.

"JJ," Emily said again, once the blonde had pulled away. This time her voice managed to find some conviction. "I can't…I'm not playing these games anymore," she said, sitting back to put some space between them.

"I know, I know," the blonde said quickly. "It's not…" she closed her eyes and shook her head, "it's not a game." Her eyes opened to meet Emily's. The brunette was watching her meaningfully, but still maintaining her distance.

"I'm sorry," JJ said, resettling herself and taking Emily's hand in her own. "I'm sorry for running away from you the first time, and then avoiding you…" JJ trailed off, looking up into Emily's eyes. "I was scared," she said after a moment's pause. "Confused. I…" she shook her head again and shrugged, "I still kind of am."

Emily just raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not going to freak out again," JJ said hurriedly, not wanting Emily to think that she was about to bolt.

"I just…" she trailed off, sitting back against the wall, bringing Emily's hand into her lap. "…know that I want to be close to you."

Emily sat, watching as JJ toyed with her fingers as she spoke. "I care about you deeply, Em," she said, pausing to look up at the brunette. "That's actually why I came over here tonight. I had to tell you."

"Tell me what?" Emily's worry about JJ running away had dissipated, but she still waited anxiously to hear what JJ was actually going to say. It was obvious the woman was still struggling with her feelings.

"That I…" JJ hesitated for a moment, staring into Emily's eyes. "I want you."

The statement wasn't uncertain, and Emily had been waiting so long to hear those words from the blonde. Seeing those lips speak the words of desire…Emily couldn't help it. She leaned in, capturing JJ's mouth with her own.

JJ's response was immediate. She lifted herself from the wall and pressed into Emily's kiss. Emily's arms found their way around JJ's waist, and she pulled the smaller woman into her lap. JJ's knees straddled Emily, who was now sitting back against the wall. Her hands roamed over JJ's figure, feeling the perfect form of her thighs, her ass tightly wrapped in her jeans…sliding up over her hips, raising her shirt slightly to feel the skin underneath…

Her touch inspired a fervor in JJ, and she gasped as the younger woman's mouth freely explored her neck. JJ tugged on Emily's shirt, pulling it down to reveal her bare shoulder and immediately laid claim to it, nipping and covering it with fresh kisses.

Emily was intoxicated, the way JJ smelled, the way she tasted, the feel of her skin under Emily's palms as she slipped her hands under her shirt to run them up JJ's back. She heard a soft moan escape JJ as she grasped her torso, sliding her hands along JJ's rib cage, her thumbs brushing the edge of her bra.

Emily felt as though she could have pushed things further, JJ didn't seem like she would have resisted much of anything at that point, and judging by the progress she was making on Emily's shirt, which was now completely hanging off one shoulder, Emily guessed that JJ would have continued pushing as well. But her defenses weren't completely out of commission, and she was aware that JJ hadn't said she'd left Will or was planning to, or even that she wanted to _be with _Emily.

"Wait, Jayj," Emily breathed, taking her hands out from underneath the blonde's top, and gently pushing JJ back from her neck. JJ sat back on Emily's legs and looked at her. The older profiler's breath caught in her throat. JJ's blonde hair was slightly mussed, her lips swollen from caressing Emily's skin. Her eyes were ablaze, like the blue center of a flame, and it took all Emily had to resist laying her down and taking her right there.

"Are you okay?" JJ asked breathlessly, looking genuinely concerned at Emily. She stroked Emily's face, tucking a hair behind her ear.

"Yeah," Emily ducked her head and smiled, kissing JJ's palm. "Yeah. I just…" She paused, unsure of how to put her feelings of hesitation.

JJ seemed to understand, because she nodded and slid off of Emily's lap, resuming her seat next to her.

"I just know this is new for you," Emily said earnestly, turning to face JJ. "I'm not asking anything of you, I just need us…need _you_ to take some time to figure out what it all means to you."

JJ nodded again and let out a small sigh.

"I know I want you Em, I crave you, I think about you all the time, but…" she hesitated, looking down at her hands in her lap. "I've never felt this way about a woman before and it's different and…scary." She glanced up at Emily nervously. "Plus there's Henry and Will…Oh shit, Will!" JJ suddenly realized that the man might be wondering where she was. She reached for her purse and dug out her phone, preparing to send him a text.

"Do you need to go?" Emily asked, sitting up, and checking the time. It was almost 1am.

"What?" JJ glanced up from her phone but continued typing. "No. I'm staying with you tonight."

Emily raised an eyebrow.

"Oh not like _that_," JJ emphasized. "I just meant to make sure you're okay." She pressed 'send' and threw her phone back in her bag, stifling guilt and memories of Will's face when she told him she was going to see Emily. This wasn't about her attraction for the woman, she justified herself. Emily needed her, as a friend.

She turned back to face Emily. "I'll sleep on the couch. I just want to be here, in case."

She didn't say "in case" of what, but Emily understood the genuine gesture.

"It's fine," she smiled. "And you don't need to sleep on the couch. Although if I recall, you seem to find it a more than adequate bed."

JJ returned the grin and playfully swatted her coworker. "I was tired," she defended, blushing slightly at the cherished memory of the last time she'd slept over at Emily's.

"Mmhmm," Emily said sarcastically, a smile playing at her lips as she watched the blonde roll here eyes. The comment was followed by a large yawn escaping from her mouth.

"Come on," JJ patted her thigh. "You look exhausted. You should get some rest."

Emily, trying to stifle another yawn, simply nodded and allowed JJ to help her to her feet.

JJ pulled her up and into her arms, nestling her lips into the crux of Emily's neck.

"Thank you," Emily whispered softly, and JJ just pressed her lips into Emily's skin.

"Come on." She pulled away, taking Emily's hand and leading her upstairs.

Emily followed JJ into her bedroom and cringed slightly at the sight. Clothes were strewn everywhere, draws left open, discard hangers covered her bed.

JJ squeezed her hand. "Do you want to sleep downstairs?" She seemed to know instinctively that the scene was stressful for Emily.

Emily shook her head and took another step into the room.

"Ok," JJ continued quickly. "Just get changed and I'll make your bed. We can clean up and unpack and all that in the morning."

Emily nodded silently and went to her dresser. There were plenty of t-shirts she'd decided not to take with her, so she pulled out two, and found some FBI sweatpants for JJ.

"My toothbrush is downstairs," she remembered, slightly frustrated and trying not to let the state of her house overwhelm her.

"I can get it," JJ immediately volunteered, moving to Emily's side. Again, she seemed to immediately sense Emily's distress. Emily looked at her, she was beautiful, and sweet, and _here_. Her presence calmed Emily's tightening nerves.

"It's okay," she said, giving JJ a small smile. "I'll go." JJ nodded and watched her leave the room.

When she returned, Emily was impressed at what JJ had managed to accomplish in the five minutes it had taken to her fish her toothbrush and toothpaste out of her suitcase. Her bed was entirely clear, and all of the clothes were folded neatly in piles on the floor off to the side.

"Thank you," Emily murmured as JJ was hanging the last of the hangers back in the closet.

"Thank _you_," she smiled, turning and taking the t-shirt and sweatpants Emily had set out for her, and indicated for Emily to use the bathroom first.

…

When Emily emerged from the bathroom, JJ had changed. She couldn't help smiling at the sight of the young woman standing in her bedroom, wearing her clothes.

She climbed into bed, and watched as JJ gathered her own clothes in her arms and prepared to go back downstairs.

"Well, good night," JJ said, standing in the doorway.

" 'Night," Emily nodded and watched as she turned to leave.

"JJ," she said suddenly, causing the blonde woman to turn back. Emily opened her mouth, desperately not wanting to be left alone, but unable to find the right words.

JJ smiled softly at her. "How about if I just sit with you for awhile," she said, realizing the look on Emily's face was one of mixed fear and embarrassment.

Emily didn't object, and JJ set her clothes on the dresser and climbed onto the bed, slipping her legs under the covers, and sitting propped against Emily's headboard. Emily smiled gratefully at her as she laid down, her head next to JJ's hip.

"Thank you," she whispered again, and JJ reached down and stroked her hair.

"Stop thanking me. I just care about you, that's all."

Emily smiled silently, closing her eyes and cherishing the soothing feeling of JJ's fingers running through her hair.

JJ sat, playing with Emily's hair and watching her carefully until the brunette finally fell asleep. She was very much tempted to simply lay herself down next to Emily and hold her all night, but she wanted to respect the woman's request for space. As she sat, unable to tear herself away from the older woman's side, Emily's sleep became agitated. JJ could hear her breathing quicken, and she began to move, as though she were struggling against something, or someone. Emily didn't make a sound, but when she turned over, JJ saw the deep frown on her sleeping face, and noticed tears squeezing out of her closed eyes.

"Hey," JJ slid down, placing her face next to Emily's. "Em," she said softly, stroking the brunette's cheek, wanting to wake her, but gently. Emily's eyes suddenly flew open, and she looked terrified. She pulled back, but JJ reached out for her.

"Hey, Em, it's me," she whispered as Emily's eyes darted around the room. "You're okay."

Emily looked at her with watery eyes, as though she was just now realizing that JJ was there. "I…he…" She shook her head, obviously remembering her nightmare.

"It's okay," JJ said softly, pulling Emily into her arms. "Come here." Emily pressed herself against JJ, her tears soaking into her t-shirt JJ was wearing.

"It's alright," JJ whispered again, smoothing Emily's back. "I've got you." She kissed Emily's forehead and wrapped the woman tightly in her arms, holding her until they both fell asleep.

…

JJ was awoken from a light sleep to the distant ringing of her phone.

"Shit," she murmured, looking around trying to ascertain what time it was. Emily stirred against her, as JJ tried to delicately extract herself from the bed. Her phone was downstairs in her purse, and given that the clock next to Emily's bed read 6:34, she knew it either had to be Will or Hotch calling.

Running down the stairs, she didn't reach her phone in time, but saw Hotch's name on the screen.

Before she could even call him back, he called again.

"Hey," she answered, dreading what she knew was coming. "A case?"

"_Hi, yeah. Sorry to cut your weekend short_. _Can you get a hold of everyone else?"_

"Yeah," JJ sighed. Cut her weekend short? Her weekend had barely existed. "I'll round up the troops."

"_Thanks_," Hotch answered. "_Try to be here by 8 or earlier if you can._"

"Got it." She hung up and sighed. _Hopefully Emily is feeling okay about staying because she isn't really going to have time to readjust right now._

"Case?" JJ jumped, startled, and turned to see Emily standing on the steps, rubbing her eyes groggily.

"Um," JJ's eyes traveled up Emily's bare legs, hungrily admiring the woman's figure. JJ was secretly loving that she knew Emily Prentiss's preference for sleeping in just her panties and a t-shirt. "Yeah. Sorry," she said, tearing her eyes away from Emily's legs and realizing that the brunette must be exhausted.

"Guess I better find some work clothes," Emily mumbled, descending the rest of the stairs and heading over to her open suitcase in the hall. JJ watched her worriedly, but didn't say anything, recognizing the statement that Emily was making by getting ready for work.

"I'm going to have to run home," she spoke as Emily rummaged through her clothes. "I need clothes and…"

"You should see Henry and Will before we jet off on another case," Emily said, pausing to look up at JJ. "It's okay, Jayj," She gave JJ a sincere smile.

"Okay…" JJ hesitated. "Are you going to be okay?"

Emily laughed and stood up, coming to stand in front of JJ. "Yes," she said, grasping JJ's hands in her own. "I'll be fine." She laid a quick kiss on JJ's forehead. "Now, _go._"

JJ smiled, unable to contain her happiness at the brunette's affection.

"Okay. I'm just going to grab my clothes then," she indicated up the stairs. Emily nodded, and dropped her hands as the blonde woman ran up the stairs.

…

JJ had contacted all the other members of the team, and finally got a hold of Garcia on her house number just as she reached the office. It was apparent the technical analyst had just woken up, but JJ didn't really have any patience left to listen to anyone's complaining. Will hadn't been happy when she informed him they had another case, and she couldn't blame him. He had been kind enough to ask about Emily, but had made it a point to remind JJ that she had only spent a few hours with her son in the past week, which compounded JJ's guilt on so many levels. When she had been with Emily, everything was perfect. But going home reminded her that she had a life – a family – and she couldn't just disappear into some world where she was free to spend all her time with Emily. Emily had requested that she take some time to "figure out what this all meant" to her. And seeing Will and Henry that morning had brought home the immense reality of that task.

"Something's come up, you need to get to the office pronto," she sighed into the phone to a very sleepy Garcia.

"_Oh you're not kidding," _the technical analyst groaned from the other end of the phone.

"I know," JJ sighed. "I wish psychopathic killers would be a little more respectful of our weekends too, but what are you gonna do?" She paused, hearing Garcia rustling around on the other end of the line. "Is everything ok?"

"_Um no…"_ Penelope answered almost immediately. "_Kevin and I got in a fight last night and to self-soothe I drank a lot of wine. And JJ, you know, I can't drink wine, I drank so much wine, why did I drink so much wine?"_

"You'll be fiiine," JJ interrupted, trying to slow down her obviously frazzled and very hung-over coworker.

"_Oh god. He's coming out of the shower. Oh. I hate confrontation, I hate confrontation,"_ Garcia began to ramble again before JJ cut her off.

"Then don't confront," JJ said sternly. "Just kiss, make up, and get your butt over here!" She hung up the phone and stepped into the office, setting her bag down at her desk.

"Hey, I brought you something."

JJ turned to see Emily approaching, carrying a Starbucks cup and wearing a broad grin.

"Oh you," JJ smiled at the most welcome sight of her coworker, "are a lifesaver."

Emily beamed. "Just thought you could use some caffeine," she said, giving JJ a knowing look as she handed her the cup. JJ basked in Emily's presence, amazed at how happy being around the dark-haired woman could make her. And things were slightly different between them. It was as though their conversation from the previous night relieved all the negative tension, and replaced it with intimate memories, and the fact that JJ had been with Emily through the emotional turmoil of the evening seemed to renew their closeness.

She watched as Emily set her things down on her desk, still concerned about the older woman, and decided she was going to make sure to stick close to the brunette during the case, just to make sure she was coping alright.

…

Once Morgan and Rossi arrived, Hotch called them all to the conference room, deciding they'd get started while waiting for Garcia.

"Danny Savino, the Floor Manager at the Sapphire Lady Casino in Atlantic City was found dead in his office this morning," Hotch informed them as they took their seats. JJ seated herself across the table from Emily, and watched as the brunette began chewing her fingernails not minutes after they sat down.

"Mug shot, this guy's got a record," Morgan commented, flipping through photos on his tablet.

"Savino was a member of one of the biggest crime families in the Atlantic City area," Rossi provided as Garcia bustled into the room.

"Sorry, sorry," She whispered, sliding into the open seat next to JJ.

"It looks like a robbery gone bad," Emily spoke up. "Why was the BAU called in?"

"Eight one dollar bills surrounding an 8 card," Reid answered, indicating to the photo Hotch put up on the screen. "That's highly ritualistic."

"Yeah," Hotch turned to Emily. "Because Savino has ties to organized crime, agents in New Jersey are worried about things escalating."

"And collateral damage means nothing to these guys," Rossi added. "If we don't get a handle on this soon, innocent people are going to die."

"Exactly," Hotch finished. "Go over your files, I need to make a few calls. Wheel's up in thirty minutes." He stood and strode out of the room, while the rest of them began trading observations about file.

…

Thirty minutes later, Emily was sitting on the jet with Morgan and Reid. JJ had been out on the tarmac talking to Henry, and when she boarded, Emily immediately caught her eye and smiled. She patted the empty seat next to her, indicating for the blonde to sit. Emily couldn't help being lost in JJ's eyes. She hadn't fully processed what had happened last night, but she was able to feel some semblance of calm about her life with JJ near her.

"Ok, best gangster film," Morgan spoke loudly, bursting into the bubble the two women somehow created around them.

Emily glanced across the table at him, not missing his pointed look, and knowing that he had noticed the exchange between her and JJ.

"No question, Godfather II, hands down," Emily said, looking away from Morgan to the rest of her coworkers. Hotch and Rossi had joined them, and the jet was preparing to take off.

"No, no," Morgan shook his head. "Gotta be Scarface."

"For me, The Untouchables," JJ said, throwing up her hands. Emily smiled at her affectionately. The Untouchables seemed like a movie JJ would pick. The blonde acknowledged Emily's affection with a smile of her own before turning to their youngest colleague. "Spence?"

"Um, probably Le Cercle Rouge, the 1970s French classic," the young doctor answered. "But Den Tredje Verden is a close second."

"Yeah," Emily deadpanned. "That was my runner-up too." She exchanged another smile with JJ, taking great pleasure in the fact that she could make the younger woman laugh.

"What about you, Rossi?" JJ called to their elder coworker. "Best gangster flick."

"I've had too much of the real thing to be a fan of mob movies," the man answered, and before anyone could press him, Hotch interjected with business.

"Garcia did we get the crime scene surveillance video yet?"

"No sir, because there wasn't any," the technical analyst answered from the video screen, looking very much like she'd had a rough night.

"That's not possible," Reid interjected. "Every inch of every casino is suveilled every minute of every day."

"Yeah, apparently the footage was tampered with, so…" Garcia's mood also seemed to reflect the quality of her night.

"Alright," Hotch said, turning to the rest of the team. "Reid and Prentiss, go to the crime scene. Dave, you and JJ find out if Savino was involved in anything the local authorities don't know about. Morgan and I will contact the local FBI office and arrange a ceasefire with the families."

The team heaved a collective sigh, and got back to business. Emily opened her tablet and was reviewing case facts, while also being quite conscious of the fact that her arm was resting against JJ's, who made now effort to move. She exchanged a glance with her coworker, who quickly looked away, blushing slightly. Emily smiled inwardly, focusing back on the file in front of her.

…

Emily and Reid returned from the crime scene to find that Morgan and Hotch had managed to buy a little time with the mob bosses.

She disclosed that she and Reid had discovered that Savino had his own camera installed in his office, separate from the rest of the casino's security, which Rossi and JJ explained was probably because their mob informant told them that Savino supplemented his income by loaning money to casino patrons. From this, they inferred that the unsub was most likely a gambler, not part of the mob scene.

"A gambler in Atlantic City," Emily commented. "That narrows the field." She caught JJ's eye, who rolled her eyes in agreement.

Later that night, they were trying to brainstorm a profile over the end of their very late dinner, when they got a call that another body had been found, same MO. This time it was a former high-end prostitute, and judging by the evidence left at the crime scene, she had known the unsub as well.

By the time JJ, Hotch and Morgan returned from the crime scene and shared their discoveries with the rest of the team, it was well past midnight.

"Head to the hotel," Hotch instructed them. "We can deliver the profile in the morning."

The team said their good nights in the lobby and went their separate ways to their rooms. Emily watched JJ walk down the hall, wishing she knew how to ask the blonde woman to stay with her. She was completely exhausted, but she knew as soon as she was alone, all the fears and uncertainties about her current situation would be all too present.

She sighed and entered her room, flipping on the TV and hoping that would suffice. After she had climbed into bed and was scanning the channels for something sufficiently distracting, she received a text from JJ.

_**If the infomercials aren't cutting it tonight, let me know. I don't want to be overbearing, but I'm right down the hall._

Emily smiled. _This is why I love her,_ she thought, trying not to focus too much on the word "love." She could tell that JJ was concerned about her, she'd seen the way the blonde had been watching her all day. She wasn't a dependent person, but knowing JJ was so concerned made her feel secure in a away that was so much beyond just physical safety. Secure in herself, in her life, in her job…

_-Company is always good, _Emily replied, appreciating the fact that JJ seemed to know her needs instinctively, and she didn't always need to spell everything out.

_Except for your whole relationship_, Emily's inner voice reminded her, still not convinced that JJ wouldn't have another freak out. Before her mind could be consumed by that whole can of worms, Emily heard a soft knock at her door.

She opened it to a smiling JJ, who she very much wanted to take in her arms and kiss, but resisted. JJ was wearing her own t-shirt and the same style of FBI sweatpants that Emily had lent her the night before.

"Mine look better on you," Emily teased, indicating to the pants. JJ smirked at her as she climbed into the bed, taking Emily aback with what seemed like such a bold move. The thoughts started running, swirling around Emily's brain.

_This is so not a good idea, what happened to taking space? _

We're not _sleeping together_ sleeping together…We're just…sleeping together.

_Bad move Prentiss. You think you're going to be able to keep your hands off of her? _

Of course. This isn't about that. I just…feel better with her close.

_I'm sure you'd feel real good with her closer._

Shut UP.

_All I'm saying is, good thing you brought pajama pants._

"You okay?" JJ asked, watching Emily who was still standing at the foot of the bed.

"Yeah," Emily shook her head and switched off the light, the glow of the TV illuminating her way to the bed.

"Thanks, um, for…" Emily trailed off as she slid under the covers and sat next to JJ.

"Of course," JJ interrupted, taking Emily's hand and giving it a squeeze. "I just wanted you to be able to get some sleep, and," she paused, shrugging. "I don't know if it helps or not, but…"

"It does," Emily assured her. "You're much more effective than television."

JJ grinned. "Good to hear. Now come on Prentiss, let's get some rest." She turned off the TV and scooted down underneath the blankets, spooning against Emily just as she had the previous night.

Emily smiled and shook her head, still amazed at how different she felt about everything when JJ was around. She took JJ's hand that was draped over her waist and brought it to her lips.

"Goodnight JJ," she whispered, kissing her smooth knuckles.

"Goodnight, Emily," JJ responded, pressing her lips into the back of Emily's head. Emily could smell JJ's scent, feel her warmth and the shape of her body as she laid pressed against her. It took a lot, but the exhaustion from the days and night before and the current case overwhelmed any sexual energy Emily felt, and for the first time in weeks she was able to sleep soundly through the night.

…

The morning came too soon, and when JJ first awoke she had to remind herself that she wasn't dreaming. Emily laid still in her arms, and JJ smiled and sighed as she relished the feeling of Emily's body so close to her. She inhaled the scent of Emily's citrus shampoo, mixed with the woman's sleep. It was perfect. She couldn't believe how completely _right_ this felt, waking up next to Emily.

She propped herself up on her elbow and tucked Emily's hair behind her hear. The movement seemed to wake Emily, as she stirred, rolling over and opened her eyes to JJ looking down at her.

"Hi," The brunette smiled, slightly embarrassed at the obvious adoration in JJ's gaze.

"Good morning," JJ smiled back, having to bite back the "Beautiful" that naturally wanted to follow that statement. She stared at Emily smiling sleepily up at her, and desire to kiss her was overwhelming. She knew from their experience in Emily's front hallway that the two of them kissing could escalate pretty quickly. And that was in a hallway. She didn't even want to think how dangerous it would be to start that lying in bed with the woman. She needed to put some space between them, and fast.

"It's almost seven," JJ said, pulling back abruptly and moving to get out of the bed. "Hotch wants us to the field office by 8, so I need to jump in the shower."

She looked at Emily watching her from the bed, a small smile playing at the corner of her mouth. JJ couldn't help but feel as though Emily was thinking about her in the shower, and she blushed deeply under the woman's direct gaze.

"I should…go," she gestured over her shoulder towards the door, suddenly extremely embarrassed at her intense desire for Emily Prentiss. Emily's face broke out into a full grin, as if she knew she was making JJ flustered.

"Kay," Emily said simply, her eyes sparkling playfully. "See you soon."

JJ nodded and hurried out of the room. She didn't regret spending the night, but she definitely needed to be more careful is she was going to respect the boundaries between them. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Emily, or do anything that remotely resembled her previous hot/cold behavior. Not to mention she didn't want to cheat on Will.

_Kind of late for that,_ she thought, remembering the kisses shared the previous night. She shook her head. That was exactly why she needed to be careful about her physical proximity with Emily. She didn't want to lead Emily on, and she didn't want to lie to Will.

_So basically I just have to figure everything out and decide what to do and it'll all be fine_. _Easy._ She rolled her eyes and let herself into her hotel room, deciding that all her complicated feelings could be sorted out later. Right now, she needed to focus on the case.

…

Emily met Morgan, Reid and Rossi in the lobby after showering and getting dressed. JJ and Hotch had already left and were waiting on the rest of them to present the profile.

After explaining the profile and over an hour of questions, the local law enforcement dispersed and Emily followed Hotch and Rossi into the conference room to go over the evidence from the second crime scene in more detail.

JJ joined them, taking a seat next to Emily, giving her a shy smile. Emily was glad that her embarrassment from earlier hadn't prompted her to go into avoidance mode. She didn't want JJ away from her side.

"This doesn't make sense," Rossi was saying, standing in front of the evidence board. "Danny Savino was a bottom-feeder, handing out nickel-and-dime loans to small time gamblers. But Patti Riolo was exclusively about high rollers.

"The unsub wouldn't have naturally crossed into both worlds," Emily agreed. "He'd be in one or the other."

"Unless his fortunes changed drastically between murdering Savino and meeting up with Patti Riolo," Hotch interjected.

"Maybe he flashed the money he stole from Savino in front of her and pretended to be rich," JJ offered, from beside Emily.

"Or he gambled with it and won big," Rossi posited.

"Let's say he was in financial trouble and immediately after murdering Savino, his luck changed…" Hotch began.

"…In his mind he could've connected the two," Emily finished, and the four realized what was happening.

"Every compulsive gambler believes in a system, no matter how illogical," Rossi said. "And he figured the part of his system that was miss was murder."

Emily shook her head. This was not going to be pretty. She sighed, and stood up. She needed something to drink.

"Coffee?" She laid her hand on JJ's shoulder, causing the blonde woman to look up.

"I'd love some," JJ smiled, her bright blue eyes capturing Emily's.

"Kay," Emily grinned back, squeezing her shoulder before she turned and left the room.

She returned ten minutes later with the coffee, and some hot water for the tea that she dug out of her purse. She caught JJ watching her, laughing and shaking her head.

"Don't start, Jareau," Emily warned, knowing JJ was going to make some smart comment about her bringing her own tea everywhere.

"Hey," JJ held up her hands. "I didn't say anything!"

Before Emily could respond, one of the local agents stepped into the conference room.

"A cashier was shot to death last night at a gas station in town," She said. "And get this. Eight dollars and an eight card were found on his body."

Hotch exchanged a look with Rossi and immediately the four agents stood and followed Agent Goslin out of the room.

Not two hours later, they received a call that another body had been found, shot to death, in an alley with the same signature. Hotch, Reid and Prentiss went to go examine the scene.

88 dollars, ID taken, but the wallet was left, showed signs of remorse. Making things worse, while they were on the scene, Agent Goslin got a call informing her that _another_ body had been found: a guest was found dead in his room at the Sapphire Lady Casino, robbed of $50,000. The MO was different, but the killer had left behind $20,000 on the body. By calling Garcia, they found out that there was a high-stakes poker tournament happening that day, in the neighborhood right where they were. And the buy –in just happened to be $50,000.

Emily was mildly surprised but pretty excited when Hotch announced his plan to try and get one of them in the poker tournament.

"I have to ask for emergency funds to cover the buy-in," He said as they gathered back at the field office, grabbing his phone to go make a call to Strauss.

JJ seemed somewhat excited at the prospect of one of them playing in a high-stakes poker game too.

"A million dollars is some serious cash," she said, when Reid told her about the plan. She turned and exchanged a grin with Emily, who was seated next to her.

"You guys do know this is about catching a killer, right?" Rossi asked, seeming mildly amused that the three of them speculating about an undercover FBI agent winning a high-stakes poker game.

"Oh yeah, well there's always that," Emily joked, and JJ laughed, reaching out and touching her arm. The contact was gratuitous, but not at all unwelcome, and Emily couldn't help but admire how adorable JJ was when she laughed.

Their "moment" was interrupted by Agent Goslin entering the room and announcing that the alleyway victim had been identified.

"Is Hotch having any luck?" Emily asked the agent, who sat down across the table.

She shook her head. "He said they don't want do authorize the money, but he's still trying."

"Well I don't see why not," Rossi commented, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "We're only asking for $50,000 of taxpayer money so that FBI agents can play Texas Hold 'Em."

"Hey, what about you?" Emily asked, leaning across the table. Rossi could easily cover the buy-in and she wasn't about to give up on this plan just because of some bureaucratic obstacles.

"What about me what?" Rossi stared at her.

"_You_ could stake us the buy-in," she replied, raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah!" Reid suddenly jumped into the conversation and took a seat, looking eagerly at Rossi. "You're a best-selling author." Even JJ leaned in, looking at Rossi earnestly.

The older man stared at the three of them incredulously. "No!" He said, shaking his head.

Emily exchanged a quick glance with JJ. They were both clearly enjoying this. "Why not?"

"One, it's against regulations and I'd like to hold onto this job for a little while longer," he began.

"Oh it's a _minor_ administrative violation," JJ butt in, her tone clearly communicating that Rossi's excuse didn't hold up. Emily turned to look at the blonde, impressed with her persuasion.

_JJ would know,_ she thought, loving this mischievous side of the woman.

"Two," Rossi ignored JJ's comment and continued, "I prefer to spend my money on actual _things_, like single malt scotch, a fine cigar, beautiful artwork…"

"Poker chips are things," Emily offered, and she felt JJ smile beside her as Rossi rolled his eyes.

"Maybe just think of it as a new experience," Reid spoke up. "I mean at your age how often does that happen?"

"At my _what?_" Rossi turned and glared at the young doctor, and Emily and JJ bit back giggles.

"Rossi," JJ broke in, gaining control of herself and wanting to stop this before Reid dug himself into a deeper hole, "this may be our only chance to get this guy."

_Perfect._

Emily held her breath as she watched JJ's comment resonate with the older man.

"Alright, fine," he said reluctantly. "I'm a decent poker player. But I don't know if I can stay in the game long enough to-"

"You know what," Emily interrupted him. "I bet you're a great poker player. But what if we sent in Reid…" She didn't want to offend the man who just agreed to put up $50,000, but she knew that Reid could guarantee to stay in the game long enough to catch the unsub, if not win the whole thing.

"I am banned from casinos in Las Vegas, Laughlin and Parump because of my card-counting abilities," the young man piped up.

"Look," Rossi said, turning to Emily. "I know I'm not a genius like the boy-wonder here, but poker is not blackjack. It's about bluffing and reading human nature, head games. It's not math."

"Ehh, that's not entirely accurate," Reid said, standing up and moving to the dry erase board on the wall. JJ gave Emily a nudge and raised her eyebrow, knowing Reid was moving into full-on genius mode.

"There actually is a mathematical equation for knowing when to raise and when to fold," the doctor began, scribbling an equation on the board and turning back to Rossi to explain. Emily bit her lip to keep from laughing and she looked at JJ, who was looking down, stifling her own smile.

"Ok, fine, I surrender!" Rossi cut Reid off mid-explanation. "Just try not to lose all my money."

Reid gave him a thumbs-up and Emily exchanged an excited look with JJ, who reached out and squeezed her arm.

"Nice," she mouthed at the brunette, giving her a wink. Emily just smiled broadly at her, loving how damn adorable the young blonde woman was, and simultaneously hating that she could not, at that moment, grab her and kiss her as hard as she wanted.

…

Reid played remarkably well in the poker game, but the unsub still managed to escape out the back of the building before they could catch him. By revisiting the victimology, they realized that Eddie Langdon, the man who'd been shot in the alleyway that morning, had a business partner, Curtis Banks, that fit the profile exactly. It was Rossi who realized that Banks' gambling system included the necessity to kill people close to him, which they inferred to mean that he would then be going after his wife, who had coincidentally filed for divorce a few days earlier.

Prentiss, Rossi, Hotch and JJ went to find the wife at her sister's house, which was only a few miles outside Atlantic City. By the time they arrived there, Banks was already inside with his wife and her sister. Rossi went in unarmed to try and talk him down, and Hotch sent JJ around the house to try and see if she could secure a clear shot at him.

The showdown didn't end as well as JJ would've liked. She was unable to get a shot, and they all had to go in. Terri Banks and her sister were safe, but Curtis took his own life at 8pm, sticking to his lucky number.

Walking away from the house, JJ peeled off her Kevlar and sighed. Emily came up beside her, and placed her hand on her back. The two women didn't speak, just exchanged tired looks and walked in step to the car. Despite the lack of words, JJ knew there was mutual acknowledgement that they would be staying together again that night.

The unspoken plan was slightly foiled however, when Hotch announced they'd be heading back Quantico that evening.

"It's only a short flight," he said as they packed up their things at the field office. "I know everyone is eager to get home and sleep in their own beds."

_Or the exact opposite_, JJ thought as she looked up, trying to catch Emily's eye. She figured they'd be landing at about 10pm, and she didn't have a problem staying with Emily and letting Will think they had stayed the night in New Jersey, but she didn't know what Emily would want.

The brunette seemed to avoid her gaze, and JJ boarded the jet still not knowing what she was going to do.

…

They landed at 10:17pm. Hotch excused them from having to set foot in the office, "You all can just head straight home if you like. Paperwork and all that can wait."

JJ walked with Emily to the parking lot, both of them remaining silent. They came to a stop in front of Emily's car. Emily paused, looking down and playing with her keys for a moment.

JJ opened her mouth, about to suggest that she could meet Emily at her condo, when the elder woman spoke.

"You should go home," she said, looking up and meeting JJ's eyes.

"I-" the blonde started to protest.

"Really," Emily emphasized, her eyes soft and sincere. "I'm fine, and you…should spend some time at home."

"I…okay," JJ said finally, looking regretfully at Emily. She didn't like feeling like she was hurting Emily by going home to Will, and truth be told her would much prefer to be staying with Emily that night.

"Good," Emily said resolutely, giving JJ a small smile. "Anyway, you're supposed to be taking time and…figuring things out."

JJ offered her friend a grateful smile before pulling her into an embrace. "Thank you," she murmured and she felt Emily's slight nod against her shoulder.

"Give Henry a kiss for me," the brunette said, pulling away and offering JJ a lopsided smile.

She nodded. "I will. And Emily," she said, looking into the elder woman's eyes with sincerity. "Please call me if you need _anything._"

Emily smiled again and nodded.

"Ok," JJ said, sighing and giving Emily one last look. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yes," Emily said, turning and reaching for her car door. "Have a good night, JJ."

JJ knew that whether or not Emily slept or had nightmares, she wouldn't be calling her that night. The past two days had been almost heaven for the both of them, the closeness they shared, it was like they were in their own little world. JJ hated having to break that spell, but she just didn't know what she was supposed to do. She wasn't confused about how Emily made her feel – she felt whole, comfortable, safe, happy, when she was around her. She wasn't even really confused about her own feelings for Emily – she cared about her deeply. In fact, next to Henry, Emily's happiness was the most important thing in the world to her. She was no longer confused about her physical attraction to the woman. Feeling Emily's hands caress her bare skin as they had kissed the other night in Emily's hallway had cemented it, in case JJ had needed any more evidence. She wanted Emily. What remained to be figured out was what all of those feelings meant.

JJ was reminded of the harsh reality of her situation as she pulled into her driveway and saw Will's car. What the hell was she supposed to do with those feelings for Emily? How did they fit into her current life?

"They don't," JJ mumbled aloud as she turned off the car. "You don't get to have everything you want…you're going to have to give up _something_." She didn't want to think about what that actually meant as she slung her bag over her shoulder and headed into her house.

~…~


	12. Chapter 12: Closing Time

**A/N: I apologize for the consistent delay in my updating! Between school and life and trying to do each episode justice, it takes me a little longer to get the chapters finished. But here you go! It's the longest one yet, so hopefully that helps a bit. I have to say, I truly appreciate all the messages and reviews! You are all very sweet, and it brings me so much joy to hear that you are loving the story. And of course, many thanks and much love to the most incredible beta and friend, who constantly encourages the writer in me :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 12: Closing Time<strong>

The next morning, JJ awoke abruptly, startled awake by her own dream. In the dream, an unsub had been torturing women by putting them on a rack and stretching them in two opposite directions until they snapped in half. It'd been a while since she'd had an "unsub dream," and though this one wasn't the bloodiest or the most frightening, JJ was still unsettled by the relevance it held for her real life situation. It couldn't be a coincidence that all the victims in the dream were petite blondes.

Sitting up and trying to rub her eyes clear of the disturbing images, JJ slipped out of bed, leaving a sleeping Will and went downstairs to start her coffee brewing.

She stood at the counter, scooping the coffee grounds into the filter and sighing, frustrated at her night of restless sleep. It was annoying that she couldn't escape her predicament even in sleep.

"Morning," Will had apparently awoken. He slipped an arm around her waist, pulling her close for a quick kiss on the cheek before he began making himself breakfast. It wasn't all that unusual for him to get up the same time as her, but this morning having him around was irritating to her. His presence was just another reminder of the decision that loomed in her not-so-distant future.

At the same time, her automatic irritation at the man made her feel guilty.

_It's not his fault you're in love with someone else, _she thought as she closed the lid on the coffee maker and pressed the start button.

_Wait…_ JJ was caught off guard by her own thought. _Was she in love with Emily?_

"Everything ok babe?" JJ glanced over to see Will looking at her curiously from the table.

"Yeah," she said blinking, realizing she'd been just standing at the counter, lost in thought for the past few minutes. It wasn't like that sort of behavior was _that_ unusual for her that early in the morning anyway. Sufficiently annoyed at him again, this time for trying to talk to her before her coffee, JJ quickly turned and headed upstairs to shower and get dressed.

When she came back downstairs, showered and dressed for work, Will was still sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through the newspaper.

"So I was thinking," the man said, folding the paper and watching JJ as she moved to pour herself a cup of coffee. "Valentine's Day is in a few days…"

JJ looked up, having completely forgotten about the obnoxious holiday.

"Oh…" she said, fiddling with the creamer container. "We don't have to do anything all that special –"

"I was thinking," Will interrupted her and made his way over to the counter, leaning across it towards her. "Get a sitter for Henry, and I'll take you out to a nice dinner, some wine…" he trailed off a large grin spread across his face. Clearly, he thought he was being sweet and romantic. JJ frowned slightly, not really liking the idea.

"Who are we going to find to babysit at such late notice?" She asked, turning away from him and back to her coffee, stirring in a few teaspoons of sugar.

"I thought we could ask Emily," Will said, straightening up from the counter and walking around to the cupboard for a bowl. "I figured, she loves Henry, she's probably not doing anything…" He tossed a look over his shoulder at JJ, who had frozen mid-stir at the mention of Emily's name. "Maybe spending some time with our charming son would cheer her up," Will finished as he poured some cereal into his bowl. "What do you think?"

"I…um, I…" JJ didn't know how to respond. Did Emily have Valentine's Day plans? The possibility had never occurred to her. Surely not…

But JJ couldn't reassure herself that Emily wouldn't have a date because she wanted to be with JJ, while at the same time, JJ herself was here, making a date with her live-in boyfriend. Not to mention asking Emily to babysit while JJ went on said date was just a bad idea for some many reasons. She might love Henry, but it seemed to JJ like throwing her relationship with Will into Emily's face, which was not something she wanted to do.

"I don't think that's a good idea," JJ said finally, setting her spoon in the sink and turning back to Will, who was leaning against the counter, munching on his cereal.

"She might have plans," JJ practically winced at the suggestion, "And it's not fair to ask her to spend her Valentine's Day cooped up here with a three year old."

Will simply shrugged. "I can try to find someone," he said, slurping down another bite. "But you better go darlin." He indicated toward the microwave clock behind JJ's head.

"Shit!" The blonde quickly poured her coffee into her travel mug and grabbed her purse. "Thanks," she smiled at Will before placing a quick peck on his cheek and rushing out the door.

…

JJ's drive to Quantico was fraught with anxiety over the new possibility that Emily could have a date. And not just for Valentine's Day. What if Emily met a really nice man? Or woman? Or anyone who wasn't JJ?

JJ slammed on her brakes, making another close call, but managing to come to a stop before colliding with the car in front of her. Her contemplating life decisions and driving didn't mix, she was realizing.

Sighing and taking the opportunity to draw a sip of her coffee, JJ's mind wandered back through the events of that morning. She had been annoyed with Will at first, but she couldn't hold it against him - none of this was his fault. He did most things right – he was kind, good-hearted, thoughtful…

The light turned green and JJ pressed the accelerator, unable to shake the thoughts from her head. Will was exactly the type of guy she always wanted for a husband and father to her children. And she had always thought about a _husband_ and _father_ to her children. It just made everything with Emily all the more difficult. Yes, JJ was over being confused about her feelings towards Emily, but that didn't change the fact that she had no idea how to live her life as someone in a same-sex relationship. Maybe it wouldn't actually be _that_ different, but where JJ came from, it was so outside the norm that she hadn't really known that many people, and certainly not people who had kids.

_I have no idea what my parents would even say if I told them_, she thought as she pulled into the BAU parking lot.

Upon entering the building, JJ tried to clear her head of all the turmoil. Her efforts didn't last long, as the first person she ran into in the office was Emily.

"Good morning," the brunette smiled, her dark brown eyes sparkling as JJ approached her.

JJ was immediately struck by her earlier thought: _Am I really in love with her?_

"Hey," she smiled back warmly, so genuinely happy to see the older woman. "How are you?"

"Good," Emily nodded as she gathered some folders from her desk. "We have a case though. Hotch wants us in the conference room in five."

JJ rolled her eyes and was slightly surprised when Emily didn't wait for her but set out for the briefing before JJ had even set down her purse.

_That's…interesting_…She thought, not sure what to make of the woman's behavior. She decided on nothing though, because it wasn't like Emily normally waited on her to walk down to the conference room, and today shouldn't be any different. Plus the look on Emily's face when she'd seen JJ was enough to tell the blonde that Emily was indeed happy to see her. Recalling the visible joy on Emily's face, JJ smiled to herself as she headed to join the rest of the team.

…

Emily is trying to give JJ space, she doesn't want to pressure her, she also doesn't want to put herself in a situation where she gets hurt.

Emily took a seat at the conference table next to Reid. She watched as JJ came in and settled directly across from her, their eyes briefly meeting and JJ offering her that precious grin that made Emily's heart smile. Looking down, Emily smiled to herself and started flipping through the case file Garcia had sent out to their tablets.

She hadn't wanted JJ to think she was avoiding her – she wasn't. She was just really unsure how to act around her. Emily didn't want to be too forward, or seem like she was pressuring JJ to make a decision, even if she wanted her to as soon as possible. On the other hand, Emily was quite aware that JJ _hadn't _yet made a decision regarding her relationship with Will, and hence Emily.

_So it's very possible you're going to be waiting around forever for a woman who isn't going to leave her man for you._

The thought wasn't one Emily enjoyed having. She wanted to believe that JJ would be honest with her, and wouldn't lead her on. She also wanted to believe that JJ felt the same ways about her, and that eventually they could be together.

At the thought, Emily glanced up at the blonde, who was engaged in conversation with Garcia about something. Whatever it was, Emily was enjoying it, because JJ was laughing, her soft hair tumbling off her shoulders as she threw her head back, laughing heartily at whatever Garcia had just said.

Emily blushed slightly at the fact that she knew exactly what JJ's hair felt like, what it smelled like, what it looked like in the morning when she'd just woken up.

"Garcia," Hotch's voice broke into Emily's reverie. "We're ready." The Unit Chief nodded sternly as he and Rossi took their seats, the last of the team to arrive.

"Ok," the technically analyst said, grabbing the remote. "So, last night three unidentified males were found in a lifeguard tower in Los Angeles' south bay. " Pictures of a messy crime scene appeared on the projection screen.

"Each died from a single gunshot wound to the head," Hotch supplied, and Garcia nodded.

"Yeah, and two of the bodies were wrapped in plastic." She indicated to the mess on the screen.

"That could be practical," Emily mused aloud, looking over the crime scene photos in her file. "It'd keep the blood from spreading." She looked around the table at her colleagues for responses. Her eyes, of course, met JJ's, who grimaced slightly, but nodded at the suggestion.

"Or symbolic," the blonde suggested, her eyes still focused on Emily's. "Covering the bodies could be his way of showing remorse for the kills." Emily nodded in mutual approval, and she noticed a small smile twinge at the corners of JJ's lips. She knew the blonde woman made no insecurities about her profiling ability, but she could tell she enjoyed receiving validation for her suggestions.

"Yeah," Emily said, suddenly thinking JJ was on to something. "Why not wrap the third body? Maybe the unsub left him exposed specifically because of who he represents." She tore her eyes away from JJ's, trying to remember that there were other people in the room. She knew it was pretty often that her and JJ got lost in their own profiling conversations, and she also knew that it was highly unlikely the rest of the group of profilers didn't notice.

"Well identifying the bodies should be our top priority," Morgan interjected, setting down the photos he'd been examining and looking to Penelope.

Garcia nodded and explained that she was running facial recognition and database searches to help with identification, which should be complete by the time they landed in L.A.

"Hey you guys, there's something else," Reid piped up. "According to the M.E. report, each of the victims was missing their genitals."

"He could be trying to hide evidence of sexual assault," Rossi suggested to the young doctor.

"Maybe," Reid said, but his tone was not convinced. "Jeffrey Dahmer used to keep his victims' sex organs on display. What if this unsub is doing the same thing?"

Emily winced, sufficiently grossed out by the thought, and from across the table, JJ's eyebrows went up to express that she shared the brunette's sentiment.

"Ok," Hotch interjected before anyone could make a comment about Reid's suggestion. "We'll continue preliminary profiling on the jet. Wheel's up in thirty. We need to get out there as soon as possible."

The team nodded, and headed to gather their things.

…

"He's castrating his victims post-mortem so torture isn't his game," Emily announced as she sat back in her seat from retrieving a bottle of water. JJ watched her as she sat down, and Emily pretended not to notice that her eyes wandered to her hips.

"Shot to the head is efficient," Morgan added. "I don't think he wants his victims to suffer."

"And a quick kill is impersonal," Hotch agreed from his perch next to Emily.

"Yet the castration _is_ very personal," Morgan countered. "He probably knew his victims."

_Or he's impotent, and that's why he's cutting off their junk_, Emily thought, and opened her mouth to speak.

"Or he could be impotent," JJ beat her to it, and Emily couldn't help but smile at the fact that their brains appeared to be on the same wavelength. "The unsub feels emasculated, so he wants his victims to feel the same way," the young woman finished, and Hotch nodded.

A few seconds later, Garcia popped up on the video screen to announce that she had identified the victims. All three of them were in town on business, and they all crossed racial, age and socio-economic lines.

"One of the victims was in a domestic partnership," Morgan offered, looking at the information Garcia has just sent them. "He's gay."

"Yeah, but Hank Mitchell has a female spouse," Emily interjected, thinking she'd ruled out the possibility of homosexuality being the reason these men were targeted.

"Yeah, well that doesn't necessarily preclude homosexual desire," Reid said, and the words drew Emily's eyes instinctively to JJ. JJ apparently had the same instinct, because their gazes locked for a second before she quickly looked down, suddenly very interested in a piece of fuzz on her sleeve.

_Are you going to stare at her any time anyone says "homosexual desires"? Classy, Prentiss. _

Emily willed herself to refocus on the case, as Rossi asked Garcia which victim was left exposed and not covered in plastic like the other two.

"Sean Taylor," Garcia answered.

"Coincidence?" Morgan asked, as Sean Taylor was also the victim who was openly gay.

"He could be targeting victims based on sexual orientation," Hotch conceded, but he didn't seem entirely convinced.

…

Upon landing, Hotch and Emily went to the field office and were introduced to Quinn Parker, the agent in charge. They were informed that another body had been found that morning, hidden in a lifeguard tower at another beach.

"Did you get anything?" Emily asked Hotch when he returned from talking to the latest vicitm's wife.

"He just lost his job, the day before he was killed," Hotch answered and Emily immediately knew the connection.

"That fits," she said, leading Hotch and Agent Parker to the evidence board. "I've got one victim who just defaulted on a mortgage, and another who was served divorce papers the day before flying to Los Angeles."

"They've each suffered a loss," Hotch agreed, studying the photos displayed on the board. "The unsub probably has too."

"So what am I looking for exactly?" Agent Parker looked thoroughly confused. "A sexually ambiguous male who might have lost a job, wife, or loved one?"

"No," Emily corrected him. "Only one of the victims was gay, so you're most likely looking for a heterosexual male who somehow learned all those things about his victims in a very short time."

Hotch nodded at her, affirming her conclusion. "Someone who knows the south bay," he said, turning toward Agent Parker. "And who targets men unfamiliar with the area."

Agent Parker nodded and went off to update the cops on patrol. Anything to help them know who to keep an eye out for.

An hour and a half later, Emily was sitting with Morgan, waiting for JJ and Reid to return from the gym where Sean Taylor had last used his credit card before he died. Rossi and Hotch had gone out to pick up dinner.

"Papa Rossi will _always_ make sure we have food," Morgan said in response to Emily's comment that Hotch would forget to eat if he wasn't constantly reminded.

"Don't let him hear you call him that," she laughed, leaning back in her chair and casually sifting through a stack of crime scene photos on the table.

Morgan just grinned, stretching his hands behind his head, and looking over as Reid and JJ entered the room.

"I'm just saying, people automatically don't take me seriously because of it," JJ was insisting to a frowning Reid.

"I'm not sure if that's an empirical fact, but I actually wouldn't be surprised. Typically-"

"What are you guys talking about?" Morgan asked as JJ took the seat across from Emily and Spencer sat beside her.

"JJ was saying that the gym manager had a prejudice against her professional ability because she's a blonde," Reid supplied, still frowning and apparently doing some kind of statistical calculation in his head.

"He practically hit on me the second I walked in the door," JJ said defensively, and Emily's eyebrows shot up. She already hated this gym manager person.

"It wasn't until I flashed my badge that he settled down," she continued. "But even still, his tone of voice, the way he kept obviously checking me out…"

"_Obviously_ checking you out?" Morgan asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"Hey!" JJ held up her hands. "I'm not being vain! It was completely unprofessional and _unwanted_," she emphasized, glancing at Emily, who was wearing a particularly jealous frown.

"She's probably right," Spencer spoke up. "He wasn't very professional. Whether that was due to your blonde hair or just your general appealing looks, it's tough to say, empirically speaking."

Morgan burst out laughing at the young doctor's comment, and JJ blushed, stealing another glance at Emily, who simply gave a conceding nod and winked at the young blonde, only causing her to blush harder.

"All I was _trying_ to say," JJ said, shooting them all a stern look, "was that it's harder for me to be taken seriously as a blonde."

"Well, I don't know about that," Morgan said, leaning forward in his chair. "Agent What's-his-face seemed to have taken quite a liking to Prentiss, and she is certainly not a blonde."

"Oh did he now?" JJ cocked her head at Emily, waiting for an explanation from the elder woman.

"Don't listen to him," Emily laughed, her eyes caught in JJ's playful grin. "He was perfectly professional. No flirting." She turned and shot Morgan a look, extremely aware that the young man knew exactly what he was doing, playing the two women's jealousies off of each other.

Morgan winked at her and shrugged. "Speaking of flirting," he said, changing the subject. "Valentine's Day is coming up, and that's a holiday that was practically designed for me."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Please," she said, shaking her head. "You're game is so much bigger in your head."

"It actually originally a liturgical celebration honoring all the Christian martyrs named Valentine," Reid piped up, and Emily could tell he was about to launch into full-on genius mode. "Apparently there were a few of them, but some of them might have been invented for the sake of building the faith. In any case, they're all celebrated on the same day."

"Mm, that's nice, kid," Morgan interrupted with a laugh. "But if you don't have plans, you should come out. There's going to be a big party for all the non-couples of the world at Flanagan's. Rossi said he's in, if a group of us singles go. How bout you Prentiss?"

"I don't know," Emily started, not really sure she wanted to spend her Tuesday night with Derek Morgan in a bar packed full of people looking for a "Valentine." She glanced over and saw JJ looking at her especially intently, seeming to be awaiting her answer.

Emily smiled inwardly. She wasn't going to lie, seeing JJ slightly worried and jealous at the prospect of her having Valentine's plans didn't make her feel _bad_…

"Yeah, what the hell," she laughed finally. "I might as well go." She looked back at JJ, who quickly averted her eyes, her cheeks growing noticeably pinker.

"That's what I like to hear," Morgan grinned at her. "It's a little known fact, but Valentine's Day is a great day for _finding_ a date." He winked at her, again, seeming to be quite aware of exactly what he was doing, as Emily saw JJ look over at them again with the mention of Emily finding a "date."

"Most people think all singletons stay home eating chocolates, but let me tell you, in my experience, that is not the case."

Emily laughed at her coworker, who was so clearly pleased with himself. "I'll take your word for it."

"Reid?" Morgan asked, looking over Emily's head at the doctor.

"I'm not sure," Spencer said hesitantly, seeming to share some of Emily's doubts about the event. "I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day."

"That's because you've never had a reason to," Morgan teased, eliciting a very motherly look from JJ. Before Reid could defend himself, Hotch and Rossi entered the room, carrying bags of take-out food from the local diner that had been recommended to them by Agent Parker.

"Dinner's here," Rossi announced, unloading styrofoam containers onto the middle of the table. "Get it while it's hot."

Once they'd sorted out the meals, all friendly banter ceased and the team got right back to the case, debriefing each other on what they had learned throughout the day.

"The murders started nearly two months ago," Rossi said, as they all pored over the details. "But the time in between kills has accelerated over the past week. Why?"

"Well if the unsub suffered a loss, we could be looking for someone who was fired back then and struggling to pay his bills now."

"Or divorced and he's currently undergoing custody hearings," Morgan said, supplying an alternative theory.

"He's most likely operating out of one of the coastal cities," Reid spoke up, lifting his head from the map he had spread at one end of the table. "The victims were all staying near the metropolitan area, but their bodies were found near the ocean."

"Do you know how big the California coast is?" Agent Parker asked, looking at Reid incredulously.

"840 miles," Reid answered without missing a beat. "Fortunately, based on the unsub's comfort zone, we can narrow it down to the area between Santa Monica and Redondo Beach."

Agent Parker looked slightly stunned at Reid's response, not unlike most people who experienced his genius for the firs time.

Emily traded a look with JJ, who bit back a smile and ducked her head, looking down at the papers in front of her.

"And the paper trail shows each of the victims in the downtown area until about 9pm the night they disappeared," JJ said, regaining her composure and looking up to address the whole group. "After that they go off the grid."

Emily, enthralled as usual when JJ spoke, watched the way the young woman moved her pen in the air as she spoke, admiring the way her hand was shaped, wondering how her fingers would feel…

"So how are the victims ending up in the South Bay?" Morgan asked, and Emily moved her eyes from JJ's hand.

_Really, this again Prentiss?_ She had made a resolution to not let herself get distracted like this at work, but it seemed to be going the way of all her previous resolutions.

"Well we haven't found any of the missing cars," she thought aloud. "We know that he's probably non-threatening…what if he asks for a lift and then kills them en route?"

"But how does he know that his victims fit his emotional criteria?" Hotch asked. "There's not common denominator outside the loss that each has suffered."

Emily was listening, she really was, but JJ was managing to make drinking from a straw look so deliciously sexy…

"Sean Taylor did look pretty distraught before storming out of the gym," JJ spoke, removing the straw from her mouth, cutting Emily's fantasy short again.

"Elaine Krauss said her husband would often go to the beach to clear his head," Hotch supplied, clearly thinking they might be on to something.

_You better start paying attention, _Emily warned herself. _Otherwise you're going to have nothing constructive to add other than something on the perfect shape of JJ's lips. And they are perfect. But FOCUS!_

"What if they're all doing that?" Rossi wondered, causing Emily to look up. "Maybe he's not taking them to the beach, maybe he's hunting them there."

Hotch nodded. "It makes sense with victimology," he agreed. "But it would be a particularly difficult thing to ensure he picked men who were suffering similar emotional trauma as he."

"True," Rossi conceded. "But it seems like the most plausible explanation for now."Hotch seemed to agree.

"Okay, well, for now, I want us to get some rest. Garcia has us booked in the Marriott down the highway. Head over there, and meet back here at 8 tomorrow."

The team nodded, gathering their debris from dinner and straightening up the table before they left. Emily rode with JJ and Morgan to the hotel, but said her goodnight's to the blonde in the lobby. As much as she wished it, she knew it wasn't a good idea to be having complicated sleepovers when things were still so uncertain between them.

…

The next two days seemed to fly by, as on Monday morning, they were informed that a new body had been found. Rossi and Reid went to the victim's hotel room, which they found littered with empty alcohol bottles. Due to deductions made about the victims all having died with alcohol in their systems, but no paper trail indicating that they'd purchased alcohol (thanks to Garcia's hunting), Rossi suggested that they were looking for a bartender. Someone who would be able to hear potential victims' sob stories, and feed them alcohol while making sure they didn't leave a trail.

On Tuesday, Emily was awoke by a text message from Hotch, telling her that they had another body. This time a woman, and a slightly different M.O. The unsub had made this kill more personal, hacking her to death with a knife, instead of his usual shooting.

"They found the latest victim's car," Hotch announced, as Emily stood before the evidence board, trying to see if there was anything they'd missed. "It's at a wrecking yard a few miles from here. They also found a body crushed in the compactor underneath it."

Emily looked at him, horrified. "He crushed someone in a vehicle compactor?" Hotch nodded grimly, and motioned for her to come along.

The crushed body belonged to Doug Summers, the owner of the yard.

Garcia uncovered that Summers was currently testifying in a custody battle between a man named Michael Janezscko and Andrea Wright, who happened to also be Summers' recent fiancée. It also just so happened that Andrea Wright had filed for divorce from Janeczko two months, ago, right when the killings started.

"Where does Janezscko live now?" Hotch asked Garcia, as he and Emily stood in the wrecking yard.

"_Last known address…the house he shared with his ex-wife. She still live there. I'm sending it to your phones."_

"Thanks Garcia," Hotch said, hanging up the phone. "I have a feeling this is about to get messy," he said to Emily as they hurried back their vehicle.

"As if it wasn't already?" Emily asked, the image of a man crushed to death in an industrial trash compactor fresh in her mind.

Emily and Hotch went to talk to Andrea Wright, and found out that Janezscko worked at a bar in the city, and was currently staying in an apartment above the business. They also learned that Janezckko's son, Hunter, was not actually his son. Doug Summers was Hunter's biological father, something that was revealed two months ago, right after Andrea filed for divorce.

"Thank you," Hotch said, nodding at Ms. Wright curtly and stepping outside to call Morgan.

"I think you'll find him at this bar on Second," Hotch informed the agent. "But Morgan, he's probably going to have his son with him, so warn the others. Hunter knows Michael isn't his real father, and if he rejects him, Michael may lash out at anyone who's there, including his son, understand? We'll meet you there."

Emily joined him on the porch. "Did they find him?"

"They're on their way now," Hotch answered, moving back toward the car. "We're going to meet them there, come on."

Emily climbed in the SUV, praying that this takedown went smoothly, for more reasons than one.

…

When Hotch pulled the SUV up in front of the bar, the scene caused the breath to catch in Emily's throat. She could see Morgan leading an obviously injured JJ out of the building, and off to the ambulance parked on the side of the scene. Her heart-rate quickened, as Emily immediately began to panic about the possibility of JJ being seriously injured. She had the door open and was practically out of the car before Hotch had even put it in park.

"What happened?" She cried, as she watched JJ be led to the back of the ambulance and tended to by a pair of EMTs. Morgan met her as she made her way over to the vehicle. Her heart nearly stopped when she got close enough to see the cuts and bruises decorating JJ's face and arms. The scene suddenly became overwhelming for Emily. Janezscko was being forced into the back of a police car, his son was reuniting with his mother, and JJ…Emily was frozen in her tracks.

"Hey," Morgan said, seeing the color drain from Emily's face. "She's fine, just a few bruises. And you won't be needing that." She felt his hand on hers, which had instinctively gone to draw her weapon.

"Sorry," Emily said, shaking her head and reholstering her gun. "I…I wasn't sure if everything was…I saw…"

"It's okay Prentiss," Morgan spoke again, drawing her eyes away from JJ, who was now being tended to by two EMTs and a very worried Spencer Reid. "She did great though, you should've seen her. She really kicked ass in there."

"But why was she alone with the unsub?" Emily asked, suddenly angry at Morgan for putting JJ in danger. She wasn't sure how to handle these emotions, but her protective instinct over the younger woman was coming out in overwhelming force.

"Hey now," Morgan said, looking slightly taken aback. "Take a breath Emily. We were all securing the building. We split up. Don't go throwing around blame."

Emily immediately felt bad for taking such an accusatory tone with him. "I'm sorry, I-"

"It's okay," Derek said again. "We all care about her." He gave her a pointed look. "Anyway, like I said, she kicked ass. She took down Janezscko, talked his son down from shooting him, and she's going to be just fine. Just a few scratches."

Emily nodded silently, her attention focused on watching JJ, who was wincing as one of the paramedics stitched up the largest gash on her shoulder.

"She can certainly pack a punch," Morgan laughed, obviously trying to ease Emily's mind. "I spent a few months working with her back when she was at the State Department, and man!"

Emily glanced back at him, surprised that she never knew JJ had done extra physical training.

"She's really good at that stuff," he continued. "Can take down guys twice her size, easily."

"You trained with her?"

"Yeah," Morgan nodded. "She asked me to when she left the Unit. I wasn't sure why, but I figured it's useful stuff. I'm glad we did though. She made me proud today."

Emily nodded again, not really listening, as she had turned back to watch as Hotch approached to check on the young blonde.

Morgan nudged her in the ribs. "Just go over and check on her," he urged. "You're allowed."

At his prodding, Emily reluctantly headed over to the ambulance parked off to the left of the scene. She was so unsure of how to act. She wanted nothing more than to run to JJ immediately on seeing her, wrapping her in arms, making sure she was completely safe. But the boundaries imposed by the context, and their current situation, made her self-conscious. Not to mention she was taken by surprise at the intensity of her emotions on seeing JJ injured. Inhibited by her uneasiness, Emily approached the ambulance slowly, hanging off to the side while Reid continued to hover over the scene.

"Hey," JJ said, noticing Emily standing nearby. "I'm _fine_," she immediately assured the elder agent, who was obviously concerned at her condition.

Emily nodded, taking a small step forward, still not sure how to act without expressing the enormity of her emotions.

"Fine? I still count two cuts, three bruises, a black eye and possibly a fractured rib," Reid interrupted, leaning to get a better look at JJ's face.

"Spence," JJ said warningly, as the last EMT finished up with her shoulder.

"And judging from the depth of that one, I'd say you've probably lost at least-"

"_Spence._" JJ said louder, causing the young doctor to stop midsentence. "Why don't you go check on Hunter and his mom?" she suggested, aware that Emily might prefer to have a moment alone with her.

Reid looked at her, confused. "Well, I don't usually-"

"Spence, please," JJ said emphatically, nodding him in the direction of the mother and son. The young man left, albeit reluctantly and still looking thoroughly confused.

As he walked away, Emily took another step towards JJ.

"What happened?" she said finally, the words coming out hoarser and weaker than she intended.

JJ smiled up at her. "I got into a little scuffle down in the basement," she said, her eyes growing soft at Emily's evident concern. "I'm fine though, really."

Emily nodded, but still stood looking over her injuries.

"Quit biting," JJ said gently, knocking Emily's hand away from her mouth. The brunette glanced down at her fingers, not even aware that she'd started. "Emily, I'm really okay," she said again, trying to communicate sincerity to the other woman.

"Okay," Emily nodded again, trying to muster a smile. "I…I just wanted to…make sure."

"I know," JJ smiled back. "I appreciate that. It'd be the same for me, if it were you." Their eyes met as the words crossed JJ's lips, and they both seemed to know what they meant.

"JJ," Hotch's sudden appearance broke the intense connection that had sprung up between the two women, and Emily quickly turned away, starting to walk back towards the rest of the team. "If you've been cleared by the medics, we'd like to head back to the field office to pack up, see if we can get out of here within the hour," Emily heard Hotch saying as she walked away. She glanced behind her to see JJ standing up slowly from the back of the ambulance, and Hotch helping her to her feet.

…

Emily boarded the jet right behind JJ. She had been reluctant to leave the blonde woman's side since they arrived back at the field office, but was unsure of how close she could stay without being too obvious. She'd hung back, but not let JJ out of her sight, even going with her to her hotel room to help her pack. Or watch her pack, as it were, since JJ had refused any real help.

"Do you want something to drink?" Emily offered immediately as JJ sat down in the back of the plane. The young woman looked up at her gratefully.

"I'd love a water and some Advil," she said, touching her temple. "My head is killing me."

Emily nodded. "Water and Advil. I can do that."

When she returned, JJ slid over, freeing up the seat next to her.

"Sit by me," she said, her soft tone making the request perhaps more intimate than she intended to let on, but she didn't bother to conceal it. Emily smiled, taking the seat beside her, and immediately began studying JJ's injuries.

"Do you want some ice? It might help the black eye-"

"Emily," JJ said gently, laying her hand on the brunette's wrist. "You've got to stop fussing. I'm fine, really."

Emily averted her gaze, feeling embarrassed at her hovering.

"I appreciate that you care," JJ said, drawing Emily's eyes back to hers. "I do. You're wonderful." She smiled at Emily before leaning back and closing her eyes. "I just want to sleep."

"Ok," Emily said, interpreting that as her cue to leave.

"No," JJ reached out and touched her arm, stopping her as she moved to get up. Her blue eyes were open, and intensely focused on Emily's. "Stay?"

Emily nodded silently, unable to refuse the crystal cerulean of JJ's eyes, and her tender tone. She sat back down, and smiled slightly as JJ rested her head against her left shoulder, closing her eyes once more.

"Are you comfortable?" Emily asked, worried that JJ's bruises might hurt pressing against her arm.

"Uh uh," JJ shook her head slightly. "This is my good side."

Against her shoulder, Emily felt the blonde smile at her own little joke. "Good," she whispered, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of JJ settled against her. It was a comfortable, familiar feeling that she'd craved ever since her first day back at the BAU, when she'd wrapped her arm around the woman and drew her to her side. The desire had only grown, as they'd spent nights together, held each other as they cried…

"Happy Valentine's Day, by the way," JJ whispered into Emily's side. Maybe it should have made Emily mad, knowing that JJ was going home to Will, probably going to have a romantic dinner, and get into bed with him. But it didn't, at least not in that moment. She chose to ignore all that, and instead focus on the way JJ slid her arm under Emily's, snuggling closer, and intertwining their fingers in Emily's lap.

She did glance around the jet, to see if any of their team members were noticing their unusual closeness, but either they were all feigning ignorance, or the pair didn't look as unusual as Emily thought. Satisfied that the latter could be true (JJ _was_ injured after all), Emily settled back and closed her eyes, treasuring the five hours she had to pretend that JJ was actually hers.

…

"Look, JJ, all I'm saying is I am _never_ making you angry again," Morgan laughed as the two entered the BAU offices. "I mean, who knew the Pennsylvania Petite could give such an _ass-whoopin_!"

JJ scoffed. "Well, I'm just glad my hand-to-hand coach could work his schedule around my State Department duties."

"It's my pleasure," Morgan said sincerely. "I'm just really grateful it all paid off."

"Yeah," JJ laughed, glancing down at her feet.

"You were great out there," Morgan said, drawing her gaze. "I'm proud of you."

JJ returned his smile, grateful, though slightly embarrassed by his kind words.

"Now why don't you get your little butt home," the man grinned. "I'm sure Will's waiting on you."

"Oh," JJ rolled her eyes, checking her watch. "Well, yeah, we did have dinner reservations, but um, I'm thinking we'll do take-out instead," she laughed, gesturing to her multicolored face.

Morgan laughed. "Maybe a good idea."

"Yeah," JJ nodded, pausing before looking up at him with sincerity of her own. "Thanks, Derek."

"Yeah," her teammate smiled, patting her on her uninjured shoulder. "Have a good night, JJ."

"You too," she said, as he walked away, and she turned to gather her things from her desk. She wasn't sure how her night was going to play out exactly, since she hadn't told Will about her encounter with the unsub.

"Heading home?" JJ looked up to see Emily standing at her own desk.

"Yeah," JJ sighed. "I'm exhausted. Even after all that sleep on the plane." She smiled at Emily, who's face broke into a wide grin at the mention of the flight home.

"Yeah, well, I think I can get the drool spot out of my shirt," Emily teased affectionately as JJ laughed.

"Oh don't even go there Prentiss," JJ countered. "You were snoring so loud, it's a wonder anyone got any sleep." Emily let out a small laugh, but both women's faces fell slightly. For JJ, the jokes hit a little too close to home, as she knew very well what Emily sounded like when she slept. And it was thinking of the fact that she was again leaving her to spend the night with someone else that brought her back to reality.

"You'd better get going if you're going to make dinner," Emily offered, and JJ nodded.

"I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah. Make sure you get plenty of rest. And ice that eye," Emily added, causing JJ to smile. That woman could not stop mothering.

"Will do," JJ said, trying to suppress the sudden, and very appealing, thoughts of Emily as a mother. "Have fun tonight. But not too much fun," she quickly added, not wanting Emily to think she didn't care if she was out flirting with a bunch of single people in a bar on Valentine's Day.

Emily chuckled, seeming to perceive the hint of jealousy in JJ's tone, and apparently not minding. "I won't. Now _go._"

JJ gave her one last smile before she went out to the elevator, her thoughts still on the possibility of Emily getting hit on by some available man. Or woman.

…

When she arrived home, JJ trudged slowly up to her front door, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her shoulder as she adjusted her purse to find her keys. Before she could put the key in the lock, the door swung open, and Will stood beaming on the other side.

"Welcome home, Darlin'! I-Ohh…." His face immediately fell upon getting a good look at JJ's face. "JJ!" He exclaimed, as she flashed him a brief grin and pushed through the door.

"Hi," she mumbled, dropping her go bag on the floor of the foyer and walking into the kitchen.

"Oh my god JJ, what happened?" Will scrambled after her, trying to get her to show him her face. "Let me see," he pressed, as she tried to pour herself a glass of water.

"Will, I'm fine," JJ tried to brush him off, not really in the mood to hear his spiel about how she shouldn't be working at the BAU anymore, she was putting her job before being there for her family, blah, blah, blah…

"You're obviously not!" The man persisted, stepping around the counter and taking her by the shoulders, turning her to face him.

"Ow," JJ winced, as his grip pressed into the stitches on her shoulder. She shrugged him off, and tried to muster a smile. "Really, Will, I'm fine. A few stitches here," she indicated to the shoulder, "And just some bumps and bruises. They'll disappear in a few days."

"Okay, but what _happened_, JJ?" He was clearly unhappy about the whole situation, which made JJ less inclined to keep talking about it. "And why didn't you tell me?"

JJ sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you," she started, aware that she probably should have called to warn him about her injuries after her fight with the unsub. "But I didn't want to worry you." _Or listen to you yell at me about how I shouldn't be in the field anymore_.

Will rolled his eyes. "Well that's a stupid excuse. Well it is!" He insisted when JJ raised an eyebrow at his comment. "You should've called me JJ. And you shouldn't have been-"

"Oh _here_ we go," JJ drawled, turning her back on Will and placing her glass in the sink. "Go ahead. Tell me what I shouldn't be doing." She turned back to face the young man. "Because I couldn't possibly guess what you're going to say."

"Well what do you want from me?" This was rapidly escalating to the usual levels of their "discussions" about the BAU.

"Nothing," JJ sighed, pressing her fingertips to the bridge of her nose, trying to stall the rapidly on-setting headache. The painkillers she'd taken on the jet were wearing off, and this conversation wasn't a good substitute. JJ just wanted to relax. She had just wanted to come home and relax, but she should have known that this house wouldn't provide that for her.

"Can we just…not?" JJ asked, desperately wanting out of this conversation. "Where's Henry?" She dropped her hand and looked around, suddenly aware that she hadn't heard her son at all since she walked in the door.

"He's at your parents," Will said, shaking his head. "They agreed to watch him for the night, so we could…" He trailed off, and JJ for the first time, noticed his formal attire.

_Dinner reservations._

"Right," she said, leaning against the counter and rubbing her temples.

"I'm assuming you don't want to go out," Will said, a sharp tone detectable in his voice.

Not wanting to re-start the fight, JJ simply shook her head. "If we could just get take out…"

"Sure."

"Will –" JJ started, feeling as though she should at least offer a sincere apology for not calling him after getting hurt.

"I just wish you would've called me," Will cut her off, knowing where she was going. His face had softened and he took a step toward her, as a sign of sincere concern. "I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could do that."

The statement hit JJ particularly hard. Emily had been the one to be there for her right after the fact, and she hadn't needed or wanted anything more than that. It was just another reminder of the duality of her situation that really left her feeling significantly alone. She didn't really have Emily, she didn't really want Will…this house was Will, Emily was off living her own life…In her intense desire to go "home," JJ felt wholly out of place.

"Me too," She mumbled, as Will took another step toward her, and pulled her into a gentle hug.

"I'm sorry I got angry," He whispered against her cheek, and she simply nodded.

"Let's not fight."

"Deal," the young man smiled, pulling away to look at her. "I'll go pick us up some food. What do you want? Chinese? Italian?"

JJ really didn't care. What she really wanted was to be left alone.

"Italian is good," She said, trying to muster a smile. "I'm going to shower and change."

Will nodded and kissed her cheek. "I'll be right back."

Thirty minutes later, JJ was seated across from Will at their kitchen table. He had set out a few candles, poured some wine, and opened the take-out boxes between them.

"I'm really glad we got to do this," Will smiled at JJ from across the table.

"It's nice," JJ tried to sound enthusiastic, but really she just wanted to go to bed. She felt bad, because it was obvious Will was trying to forget about the bruises on her face and the tensions that came along with them.

"Thank you," she said, giving him a small smile as she took another bite of her pasta. She knew it wasn't his fault exactly, but she couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of homesickness that consumed her sitting at her own kitchen table, in her own house. And she knew it had to do with the disconnect she felt between herself and the man across from her.

"JJ," the nervousness in his voice startled her.

"Yeah?" She looked up to see Will fiddling with his fork and staring down at his plate.

"I…" He looked up shyly to meet her eyes. "I love you so much."

_Oh no._ The bottom dropped out of JJ's stomach, as she anticipated where this was going.

"I know I don't always do the best at supporting you," he continued, still toying with his utensil. "But I love who you are." He paused again, and JJ tried to smile, but averted her eyes, really afraid of what was coming.

"And," Will set down his fork and reached across the table for her hand. "I want to be there for you, all the time. I want to be that person you can rely on, I-" he took a deep breath, "I want to be your husband."

Even though she had known it was coming, hearing Will say it out loud still hit JJ like a slap in the face.

"What?" She breathed, unable to form a coherent sentence. Her mouth gaped open as he held onto her hand. She couldn't believe this was happening. They'd talked about this. She'd made it perfectly clear: she was not interested in getting married right now. They had too much baggage, too many unresolved issues to just jump into matrimony.

"I'm asking if you'll marry me," Will repeated, with slightly more confidence than his first attempt.

The words seemed to jolt JJ out of her daze. She drew her hand from Will's and stood up. "Wha-what…_why_ would you say that?" She stared at him, shaking slightly and wanting nothing more than to get out of this house.

"I-"

"No, you knew…we've talked about this…did you just think…" JJ spluttered, unable to choose between the hundreds of things wrong with this situation. She threw down her napkin and pushed away from the table. "I can't do this," she said, throwing up her hands. "I can't deal…" She shook her head. "I need to go."

"JJ, what the hell?" Will stood up, following her into the hall. "JJ!"

JJ ignored him, striding past him. She grabbed her go bag that was still laying in the foyer. "I need to go," she said once more, turning back to Will who was standing dumbfounded in the doorway to kitchen.

"JJ I-"

"I can't. Right now…" She trailed, off, shaking her head violently, causing throbbing pain to resume. "No." It wasn't so much an answer to his proposal as a refusal to even deal with it. She needed out. This was overwhelming, and that wasn't even considering the fact that there was no way in hell she could marry him, as she was in love with Emily.

"JJ!" Will called again, desperate and thoroughly confused, as JJ rushed out the door. He followed her out to the porch, as she hurried to her car.

"What…?" Will stood watching in bewilderment as JJ drove off. She felt a twinge of guilt at leaving him like that, but she couldn't handle that conversation right now. She was exhausted, physically, emotionally, her nerves were frayed to breaking. Grabbing her phone, she instinctively began to dial Emily's number, but stopped. She couldn't handle that either right now. Emily represented a potential safe space, but as she was so clearly reminded earlier, she didn't _have_ Emily anymore than Will had her. No, she needed somewhere calm, somewhere things were neat, and clear and...

Dropping her phone in the seat next to her, JJ changed her route, and instead of turning right, towards D.C. and Emily's condo, she turned left, hoping to find solace somewhere else.

…

Emily carried the trio of shots back to the table where Rossi and Morgan were waiting.

"Ah! You are the best Valentine a man could ask for," Rossi smiled as Emily set a shot in front of him. She winked and glanced over her shoulder, back to the bar where she'd left a group of women.

"Morgan, those ladies were asking me about you," she grinned, turning to the younger man to her right. "I told them you were a real-life FBI agent."

Morgan grinned back at her. "I can work with that."

"I'd sure hope so," Rossi quipped. "Seeing as it _is_ your actual job." Emily laughed as Morgan shot him a look.

"Let's do this," he said, taking his shot glass and raising it in the air. "To the best looking half of the BAU team."

Emily snorted and Rossi rolled his eyes, but the two touched their glasses with Morgan and knocked back the shot, the liquid immediately burned Emily's throat, causing her eyes to water.

"Been awhile Prentiss?" Morgan laughed as Emily let out a small cough.

"Whew!" She yelled, shaking her head. "Yeah, just let me get back into my groove, and I'll drink you under the table any day," she told him, gathering their glasses and heading back to the bar. Her main goal for tonight was to have fun, and not think about JJ on her date with Will. And both of those things were going to involve a lot of liquor.

"Three more," Emily called to the bartender, setting the shot glasses back on the bar and waiting for the second round to be poured. She looked back at the table, to see Morgan and Rossi surrounded by the same gaggle of women who had approached her at the bar earlier.

Laughing to herself, she turned back to the bar to gather the drinks.

"Well, hello there Agent Prentiss."

Emily looked up to see Mick Rawson, a fellow FBI agent and member of the FBI 'Red Cell' team, standing at the bar beside her.

_Oh god, _Emily thought, not at all happy about seeing him there. They'd worked together a few years ago when the Red Cell team had enlisted the help of the BAU on a case. Emily had liked him well enough, but found his incessant flirting and rather large ego to prevent any truly enjoyable conversation.

"Well, if it isn't Agent Mick Rawson," Emily flashed him a wide grin as she turned to face him. "How is life for the agents of the elite Red Cell team these days?"

"Oh, you know," he grinned back at her, obviously feeling pretty good about himself at that moment. "Busy."

"Mm," Emily nodded, not really having the desire nor the energy to engage this guy in obligatory bar talk.

"Nice to see you, back from the grave," Mick quipped, taking a sip of the beer in front of him and looking her up and down. Emily was less than impressed. He was pretty much the last person she wanted making jokes about her encounter with Ian and subsequent disappearance, and this whole reunion was reminding her why she passed him up in the first place.

"Yeah, well," she shrugged, picking up the freshly poured shots from the bar. "I like to shake things up."

Mick apparently thought this was some sort of hilarious joke, because he laughed much to intensely. _He is trying way too hard_, Emily thought, slightly taken aback by his reaction.

"Let me buy you a drink," Mick said, calming down his laughter and wiping his mouth with a napkin. "For old time's sake."

"_Old time's sake?" What the fuck is he even talking about?_ Emily almost burst out laughing at the ridiculous cheesiness of his line, but managed to keep her amusement in check.

"I'm actually with some people," She said, indicating over her shoulder towards the table occupied by Morgan and Rossi and presently, some enthralled women.

"Oh well I'll join you then!" Mick said, starting to follow her away from the bar.

_I don't mind, thanks for asking,_ Emily rolled her eyes as she turned her back on him and walked back over to her teammates. Maybe she could pawn Rawson off on one of these other women.

"Guys," Emily said loudly as they approached the table, causing everyone there to turn and notice her. "You remember Mick Rawson." She caught Morgan's eye briefly, but had to look away or she'd start laughing. Morgan hadn't cared for the cocky Welshman either, and had been endlessly amused at his persistence with Emily.

"Of course, nice to see you," Rossi shook Mick's hand across the table. Immediately, to Emily's relief, two out of four of the women at the table introduced themselves and drew the man into conversation, leaving Emily free to receive Morgan's comments.

"He tried to pick you up at the bar?" Derek laughed. "Nice. You know, Prentiss, flirting to make other people jealous only works if the other people are _here_."

"Shut up," Emily snapped, giving him a pointed look and glancing to see if Rossi had overheard. "I couldn't get rid of him."

Morgan just laughed, and picked up one of the glasses Emily had brought over. "Another toast?" He asked, raising it up. Emily nudged Rossi and handed him his glass.

"One more," she winked at him, as he shook his head. "I'm going to hold you accountable when I wake up with a deadly hangover because you kept feeding me this cheap liquor." Emily feigned offense, but smiled as they touched glasses and threw back the glass, emptying its contents into her throat.

"Went down a lot smoother than the first, huh?" Morgan teased her, and she simply shook her head.

"Oh shit," she said, feeling her phone vibrating against her hip. "My phone's ringing."

"Never fails," Rossi sighed, watching as she pulled out her phone.

"Oh…" She said, startled at the name on the caller ID. "It's not Hotch."

"Whew!" Morgan said, relieved as he stood up from the stool he was sitting. "In that case, I'm going to get another drink. Anyone want anything?"

Emily frowned, not sure why Will LaMontagne would be calling her at 11pm on Valentine's Day. Not looking up at her colleagues, she fought through the crowd to get outside.

"Hello?" She answered hesitantly as she stepped out into the chilly air. She was really trying to stop her mind from assuming the worst, but she couldn't help it. Although if something had happened to JJ, wouldn't Will call Garcia first? She was-

"_Emily?" _She recognized the young detective's voice on the other end of the line.

"Um, yeah…?" Emily still wasn't sure what was happening.

"_Hi Emily, it's Will LaMontagne,"_ the detective said, his slow speech and unnecessary greeting irritating Emily's already tense nerves.

"Yeah, Will, hi. What's going on?"

"_Sorry to bother you so late, but, um, is JJ with you?"_ The question caught her completely off guard.

_Why would JJ be with me? Why would JJ not be at home, with him?_ Slight panic set in as Emily thought of JJ, injured and somewhere unknown.

"No…I thought she was having dinner with you…" Emily tried to keep her voice level. "What's going on? Is she okay?"

There was a momentary pause on the other end of the phone.

"Will?" Emily asked, unsure if the man was still there.

"_Yeah, um, she was. I mean we were," _He drawled, and Emily could now tell that there was evident nervousness in his voice. _"She left though, about two hours ago. I thought she'd be back by now…"_ He trailed off.

"Have you called Garcia?" Emily immediately asked, becoming slightly annoyed that this man would let JJ go running off when what she needed was to be in bed.

"_Yeah, but I can't get a hold of her. Tried her parents too, but they haven't seen her and now I just got them all worried…"_

_Well, yeah. I would be too. I AM for Christ's sake. _

"Ok, well let me try Garcia and I'll let you know if I find her," Emily said quickly, rather eager to get off the phone with him and try calling JJ herself.

"_Ok thank you Emily. I appreciate it," _Will said, sounding more sad than anything else.

"Yep," Emily hung up the phone and immediately called JJ. She paced around the front of the bar while she waited for an answer, but none came.

"Damn it, JJ," Emily muttered when she heard the blonde's voicemail greeting. She immediately tried again, but only got the same results. After three unanswered calls to JJ, she decided to try Garcia.

"Please pick up Penelope…." She talked to the ringtone as she hopped around, trying to keep warm. She really wished she'd have thought to bring a coat, but she really didn't anticipate standing outside for an extended period of time.

"_Jesus Christ woman, what is going on?"_

"Garcia!" The sound of the technical analyst's voice momentarily distracted Emily from the cold.

"_Yes, it's me. But you better have a verrrrry good reason for calling me at 11:17 pm on VALENTINE'S NIGHT. I respect you too much to go into details, but let me just say that Kevin-"_

"Penelope!" Emily interrupted before things could take a very unwanted turn into the realm of too much information. "Have you heard from JJ?"

"_What? Is that why I have six missed calls from Will?"_

"Yeah," Emily said, rolling her eyes that someone could get six missed calls from the same person and not think it was important enough to warrant a call back. "Apparently JJ left their house about two hours ago and he hasn't been able to get a hold of her."

"_She left? Like they fought and she left or she went for a stroll and she left or-"_

"I'm not really sure," Emily broke in again, trying to hide her irritation and anxiety. "He didn't go into details with me, but I'm going to take this as you haven't heard from her."

"_No, pumpkin I'm afraid not…I'll try her cell though."_

"Thanks, Garcia," Emily said, hanging up the phone and immediately starting to pace back and forth, anticipating a return call from Garcia, or maybe, JJ herself.

_I should probably let Will know I got in touch with her_…She thought, still resenting the man for somehow causing JJ to leave. She looked at her phone. _Ugh, it's the right thing to do_…

Not two minutes after she'd sent the text to Will, Garcia called her back.

"_Hey Princess, I found her."_

"Oh thank god!" Emily exclaimed, unable to restrain the excess of relief in her voice. "Is she alright?"

"_Yeah, she's fine. Her and the Sir William apparently had a falling out. She just needs some time."_

"Ok," Emily said, feeling slightly hurt that JJ hadn't come to her for comfort in a time of need. "Where is she?"

"_Sorry Emily, no can do. She specifically asked that I keep quiet on her current geographical coordinates."_

"Oh…" Emily said softly, feeling more dejected that JJ didn't even want her to know where she was. "Ok…"

"_I promise you though, she is in good hands. Will you do me a favor though and contact the good detective? Let him know his girl is okay?" _Emily cringed involuntarily at Garcia's reference to JJ as "Will's girl."

"Sure," she said, not at all wanting to talk to Will. "I'll call him."

"_Thanks sweetheart. Now, I'm off to return to my sweetheart. I'll see you tomorrow. Garcia out."_

"Yeah, bye," Emily said, but Penelope had already hung up. Taking the phone away from her ear, Emily let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

Knowing that JJ was alright was a relief, but it didn't do much to dull the sting of being kept out of the loop and on the same page as Will.

_Or even a page behind. He at least knows what caused all this, _Emily thought bitterly as she scrolled through her contacts for his number.

"Will?" Emily asked when she heard the man pick up the phone. "Garcia talked to JJ."

"_Oh thank god. Where is she? Is she coming home?"_

"Um, I don't think so," Emily sighed, exhausted but feeling some pity for the man. "She told Garcia not to say where she is, so I don't know. And from what Penelope said, it sounded like she was just staying put for tonight."

"_Oh,"_ Will said after a slight pause, and Emily could tell that he was hurting.

"I'm sorry, Will," she said, trying to offer him some sympathy. "If I knew more I'd tell you, but that's all Garcia told me. JJ's fine, but she apparently wants to be left alone for now."

"_No, I appreciate it Emily," _the man drawled. _"I cant thank you enough for your help. I just don't know what I did wrong."_

_Oh god, please, I do not want to hear about this, _Emily thought, dreading that Will was going to stay on the line and sob out all his feelings to her.

"I'm sure it wasn't anything that can't be fixed," Emily said, trying to summon some sincerity, but mostly wishing Will would just hang up. "Look, I-"

"_I asked her to marry me."_

The words stopped the breath in Emily's chest. "Wh-what?" She choked out, hoping desperately that she had heard him wrong.

"_Yeah, I proposed over dinner," _Will continued. _"I guess it was the wrong thing, because she just…left."_

There wasn't a coherent thought in Emily's head, nor a word on her lips. She had no idea what she was supposed to do with that information, information that JJ clearly hadn't wanted her to know, otherwise she would have come to her instead of running off to the mystery location at God knows where. She also had no idea what she was supposed to say to this man, who had just proposed to the woman she loved – oh and by the way, had made a habit of kissing over the past few months.

"I have to go." The words somehow formed on their own, passing over Emily's lips. She wasn't even sure she'd managed to say them out loud until she heard Will respond.

"_Of course, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to dump that on you like that. I just am at such a loss."_

"It's fine," Emily said, her voice completely monotone. "I mean, it's probably fine. Just give her some time. I have to go though. Good night."

"_Good night, Emily. Thank yo-"_ The man's last words were cut off as Emily hung up the phone. She stared blankly at the space in front of her, before commanding herself to go back inside.

"Hey! Where'd you go?" Morgan exclaimed as Emily approached the table. "Are you okay?" His expression suddenly changed and she knew her face must be giving her away.

"I'm fine," she said, mustering all the enthusiasm she could.

"Who was on the phone?" Derek asked, still looking concerned.

"Um," Emily stammered, unsure of what lie could be plausible. "Garcia. She wanted some…Valentine's advice." Emily raised her eyebrows, hoping the implied scandalous nature of the phone call would distract Morgan. It seemed to have some of the desired effect.

"Ok, ok," he smiled, but his eyes still scrutinizing her face. "You want another round then?" he gestured to the bar.

"Um, no, actually I'm going to go," Emily answered, digging in her wallet for some cash to cover her tab. "Here," she handed him two twenty-dollar bills. "I'll give you the rest tomorrow."

"Ok…" Morgan frowned. "Are you sure you're all right Prentiss?"

"Yeah!" Emily brightened her voice. "I'm just tired. Tell Rossi I said good night." Morgan nodded as she grabbed her purse and headed out the door.

This was not going to be a very good night, at all.

…

JJ sat down on the couch, pushing aside a small mountain of books. "Thank you Spence," she said, reaching out to take the cup of coffee he offered her. "I really appreciate you letting me come here."

"Of course," the young man answered, as he cleared the books from the couch to make room for himself. He didn't ask any questions, just sat quietly sipping on his own tea, while JJ drank her coffee. This was exactly why she had gone to Reid. He would be calm, he wouldn't freak out about her showing up at his door randomly at 10 o'clock at night, he wouldn't pry unless she shared first, and any advice he would give her would be rational and based in fact, not any of that "follow your heart" crap that she would have been sure to get if she'd gone, say, to her parents' house.

"I just had to get out of there," JJ said finally, setting down her mug on the crowded coffee table in front of her. "Will…" she paused, toying with the rim of the cup. "He just doesn't get it."

"Doesn't get what?" Spencer asked, his tone scientific, much like if he was asking about the behavior of an unsub.

JJ drew a breath, and glanced up at her friend. "He…asked me to marry him," she said, exhaling sharply. "I just…had to get out. We've talked about it, I've told him…" She shook her head, afraid if she let herself start ranting, she'd end up crying. "The house was just suffocating. I had to leave."

"That makes sense," Reid said, still matter-of-fact.

"It does?" JJ asked, surprised that her seemingly rash decision was being affirmed as a rational one.

"Yeah, it's part of the brain's natural fight-or-flight response," Spencer said, setting his own mug down and looking at her. "When we're presented with a situation that overwhelms us emotionally and mentally, for most people the flight instinct wins out. Especially when it's coupled with physical exhaustion."

JJ knew he was referring to her current physical state, and she nodded grimly.

"God damn it," she swore, as her phone buzzed for the countless time. She looked at the screen: it was the fourth time Garcia was calling in the last two minutes.

_Looks like I'm going to have to let someone know I'm alive_, she thought, deciding she'd rather talk to Penelope than Will or Emily at this point.

"Hello?" she picked up the phone, as Spencer looked away, politely pretending to be absorbed in one of the books on the coffee table.

"_JJ!" _Garcia exclaimed loudly, causing JJ to hold the phone away from her ear. _"Where have you been? Half the world is trying to get a hold of you and they've interrupted my Valentine's Day with Kevin in the process."_

"Sorry Penelope," JJ sighed. "Will and I had a fight. I didn't mean for you to get dragged into this."

"_Oh Jayje, I'm so sorry,"_ the woman's voice softened. _"Is there anything I can do? Both Emily and Will have been calling me nonstop."_

"Wait, Emily?" JJ asked, confused as to why Emily would be calling Garcia. "Why is Emily calling you?"

"_I guess Will called her when I didn't pick up the first eight times," _Garcia replied, seeming to think nothing of the fact that Emily was so panicked about JJ's whereabouts.

_She did try to call me a few times,_ JJ remembered seeing Emily's name interspersed with Will's on her missed call list.

"Oh, ok," JJ said, trying to figure out what the odds were that Will hadn't told Emily about his proposal. _Surely not…It's not like they're close. Or that Will would want everyone to know when I responded by running out…_

"_Emily said he told her you guys fought and he hadn't seen you for a few hours, so she called me. Of course, when she called me, I thought it was a case, so I picked up…"_

JJ gave a small laugh. "Of course," she said, only half-listening to what Garcia was saying. So Emily hadn't mentioned anything about a marriage proposal, that was a good sign. She felt slightly guilty anyway, knowing that Emily would be hurt she didn't go to her first.

_I couldn't_, JJ justified herself. _Right now it's just too…complicated._

"_So are you sure there isn't anything I can do?"_ Penelope asked again, drawing JJ's mind away back to the conversation at hand.

"I'm fine," JJ assured her. "I just need some space right now, so if you could pass that message along, I'd appreciate it."

"_No problem angel. Where are you hiding, by the way?"_

"I'd rather not say, if it's alright with you," JJ answered. She was pretty sure that if Will knew where she was he'd try to come and talk to her, and she wasn't entirely unconvinced that Emily wouldn't do the same. _What a reunion that would be,_ she thought humorlessly.

"_That's fine, I won't tell anyone that you're safe and sound with the good doctor, then."_

JJ snorted at the technical analyst's reply. She should have known Garcia would know exactly where she was, due to some technology trick no doubt.

"Thanks, Pen," she laughed. "Get back to your romantic evening. I love you."

"_I love you more, sweetness. Anything you need, I am here."_

"I know, thank you."

"_Goodnight Jayje."_

JJ hung up and turned her phone off, satisfied that people would know she was alright, and feeling as though she didn't owe them anything else, at least not tonight.

"I don't really have any advice on the subject," Reid spoke again, once she was off the phone. "I've never received a marriage proposal before."

JJ laughed, appreciating his innocence and gentle way of continuing the conversation without prying. "They're not always all their cracked up to be," she sighed, her face growing serious again. "In any case, I'm not really looking for relationship advice."

"You already know what you're going to do?" Reid asked, picking up his tea and studying her over the rim as he took another sip.

JJ shook her head. "No idea," she smiled ruefully. "But I don't want to think about it now." Reid nodded knowingly, obviously thinking about the "flight" response.

"Fair enough, given the circumstances."

JJ nodded, again grateful for his rational mind.

"You need rest though," Spencer said, standing up suddenly. "After what your body had been through today…"

"Thanks," JJ smiled up at him. "I could fall asleep right here."

"No, you need to sleep in my bed," Reid insisted. "I'll take the couch. If you sleep out here, you're only going to feel worse in the morning."

"Ok, ok," JJ yielded, too tired to put up the fight of a polite guest. "Thank you Spence," she said again, standing up and stretching.

"Of course, JJ," Reid brushed off her gratitude and led her down the hall to his bedroom.

"By the way," JJ said, turning to him as he ushered her into the room. "You won't say anything to anyone else? About Will?"

"No," he assured her, shaking his head. "Now get some sleep please."

"Thank you, Spencer," JJ emphasized, not feeling like she could express her appreciation enough.

The young genius just nodded, and closed the door behind him as he left.

JJ laid down in his bed, immediately thankful that he had insisted on her sleeping there. The mattress greeted her aching body, and it wasn't long that, despite the emotional turmoil of the evening, she was sound asleep.

…~…


	13. Chapter 13: A Thin Line

A/N: This must be dedicated to The Best Beta Ever, who is my most inspiring friend and most patient teacher. Enjoy :)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13: A Thin Line<strong>

JJ woke up, sitting up suddenly, not wholly familiar with her surroundings. "What…Oh." Looking around, she realized she was in Spencer's bed, and all the memories of last night came flooding back to her.

"Ugh," she groaned, rubbing her hands over her face and immediately regretting it as her bruised eye started throbbing.

"I'll bet this is pretty," she mumbled as she climbed out of bed and shuffled into Spencer's bathroom to examine herself in the mirror.

"Oh…nice." Just as she had expected, the bruise had begun to change color in the healing process, and a nice disgusting shade of yellow-green now covered the upper left quadrant of her face. Sighing, JJ turned and left the bathroom, heading downstairs to find Spencer and hopefully some coffee.

"Good morning." JJ found Reid already awake and sitting at the kitchen table, reading something that looked like a scientific journal. She didn't ask.

"Morning Spence," she replied and immediately headed for the coffee maker she saw next to the fridge. "I'm just going to help myself if you don't mind," she said, gesturing to the coffee, and Spencer nodded.

"Did you sleep okay? How are you feeling?" The young doctor still looked significantly concerned about her well-being.

"I slept wonderfully," JJ said, turned back to give him a look of gratitude. "Thank you for letting me have your bed."

"Of course! JJ I wasn't going to let you sleep on the couch after just getting beat up by an unsub."

"Well I appreciate that," the blonde laughed over her shoulder as she poured herself a large mug of coffee. "I am feeling less sore than I thought I would be, actually."

Spencer nodded, but watched her carefully as she moved to join him sitting at the table.

"Are you hungry? Do you want any breakfast?" The doctor seemed determined to care for JJ in some tangible way.

"I'm fine," she said, loving him for his kindness. "Coffee is all I need in the morning."

Reid seemed to accept the answer and resumed drinking his own cup and reading the journal in front of him.

JJ sat quietly, trying not to be overwhelmed by the reality that awaited her outside this apartment. She couldn't even avoid things by not going home – Emily was going to be at work, and JJ had no idea how she was going to handle _that_ interaction.

This whole thing – Will, her feelings for Emily, the proposal – was just too much. She couldn't even separate them, whatever she decided about the proposal was going to impact her relationship with Will, and certainly Emily…

_You're not actually thinking about marrying him are you? _JJ shook the thought from her head. That was definitely not what she wanted…but how could she say no to marriage and still stay with Will? They obviously wanted two different things…except maybe they didn't. They both wanted Henry to have a happy home and a happy family. But then there was the whole thing with Emily…

JJ sighed, staring down at her coffee. "What if…" She spoke, causing Reid to look up from his article.

"What if…" JJ started again, not quite sure how to phrase what she wanted to ask without getting specific. "What if you want two things but…" she hesitated again, still unsure of how to best characterize the situation. "But the two things you want are mutually exclusive?" She finished slowly, glancing up at Reid. She didn't think he would pry for more details, but hoped he might have something insightful to say nonetheless.

"Well, definitionally speaking," Reid began and JJ knew this was going to be good. This is why she came to Reid. Here she would get definitions and statistics, no platitudes about "following your heart" or "listening to your gut."

"Definitionally speaking it's impossible to do or to have two things that are actually mutually exclusive," Reid continued. "If they are truly "mutually exclusive," then they actively exclude one another, so…" he trailed off, frowning slightly at the look on JJ's face.

"But since I'm not familiar with the variables in question," he said, "I can't accurately speak to the probability of outcome. Most people, when they're faced with significant life choice, they try to assess what will make them the happiest for the rest of their lives, which is virtually impossible to know," Reid rambled, and JJ wondered if he was going to actually tell her about an equation she could use to make life decisions.

She smiled slightly as he continued. "There are so many variable in a person's life at a given moment, not to mention everything that can change in the future. In most situations, all you can do is make the choice that provides the greatest probability of leading to a specific point you want to have in your future. But even that is full of unknowns and uncontrollable variables. But there are ways to measure one's satisfaction with their life and choices _after_ the fact. They call it "happiness economics"," The young man continued excitedly. "There's some very interesting psychology behind it actually, and –"

JJ let out a small laugh. "Thanks, Spence," she said stopping him before things could get _too_ scientific. The young doctor just nodded, quite familiar with the reaction to his academic ramblings. He picked up his journal and resumed reading while JJ finished her coffee and tried not to think of all the "variables" affecting her life at the given moment.

"You can stay here as long as you like," Reid suddenly spoke, startling JJ, who was about to stand up to go shower. She paused mid-motion, looking over at him.

"If you feel like you need some time," He finished, and JJ was surprised at his perceptiveness. She knew Spencer possessed a great heart in addition to his incredible mind, but he wasn't often in tune with the subtleties of other people's emotions, unless "other people" happened to be serial killers.

"Thanks," she smiled gratefully at him. "I might take you up on that." Taking the dishes to the sink, JJ rinsed them and loaded them in the dishwasher.

"I'm going to get changed," she said, turning back to Reid. "We should probably leave for Quantico soon."

"It's 37.46 minutes on average if I leave at 7:17."

JJ stifled a snort and simply raised her eyebrows. "Ok…good to know." She smiled to herself, thinking how she wished Emily had been there to hear that. Immediately though, the thought of Emily reminded her of the fact that she was going to have to see the brunette in a little over 37.46 minutes, and she still had no idea what she was going to say to her.

…

Across town, Emily was waking up to her own anxieties about the day. Immediately upon opening her eyes, Emily had remembered the events of the previous night. She couldn't help feeling slightly panicked about how things would play out today, as she was realizing that she had no idea about what JJ was thinking or what she would do.

_It's not like she's made it clear what she wants, _Emily thought bitterly as she got dressed.

_Well, she said she wants you._

Yeah, but what does that even mean? She's still with Will…and soon she might be _with him_ with him. Like legally with him.

_Yeah, but she ran away when he proposed. That's not usually a good sign…_

Emily sighed, staring at herself in the bathroom mirror. This back-and-forth in her head about JJ had been going on for months, and it was getting old.

"She needs to make up her mind," Emily told her reflection, who nodded back at her. "Right, because I'm not waiting around anymore." This time the reflection didn't nod, and Emily rolled her eyes. "Right. Because I haven't said _that_ before." She left the bathroom and went downstairs to feed Sergio.

The more immediate problem seemed to be how to handle today. Emily had no idea what she was going to do or say when she saw JJ.

"I don't know if I should tell her that I know," she said aloud as she filled Sergio's bowl. "Or…maybe she knows that I know already. What do you think Sergio? Do you think she knows?" Emily looked down at her cat who was clearly not interested in who knew what about who knowing what. He just wanted fed. "Fine. Here," Emily set the bowl down in front of him and watched as the cat immediately started eating. "I wish my life was that simple," she mumbled, going to grab her go bag from her room.

...

By the time Emily arrived at work, she felt like she was going to throw up.

_I don't know why I'm so fucking nervous. It's going to be fine._ But she couldn't stop the overwhelming fear that when she saw JJ, the blonde was going to tell her she was marrying Will, from causing her hands to shake as she walked into the office.

"Good morning, Emily," Rossi greeted her with a smile as she entered the bullpen.

"Morning," she nodded, trying to simultaneously scan the area for JJ.

"I told you, 37.46 minutes on _average_, JJ. It's not going to be that exactly every time."

Emily whirled around to see the JJ laughing at whatever Reid was referring to. _So that's where she was, _Emily realized, seeing the two of them walking in together. _I should have guessed._

JJ's smile faltered slightly when her eyes met Emily's. The look on the blonde's face was one of mild panic, and Emily knew JJ was trying to figure out how much she knew.

_Oh god, she said yes._Emily immediately panicked herself, and she felt the pit of her stomach drop.

"Uh, hi!" JJ recovered her ability to speak before Emily could find hers. "How was your Valentine's Day?"

"It was _epic_, of course," Derek appeared behind Emily. "Although Prentiss dipped out early before she could witness Rossi get hit on by a girl half his age."

JJ laughed a little too loudly. "Oh my god he didn't!"

"Half of his age...that would be-"

"Okay Dr. Reid, that'll be all!" Rossi had entered the office behind JJ and Reid and although he was glaring at the young doctor, there was a playful twinkle in his eye.

The whole time, Emily was watching JJ, who seemed to be purposefully avoiding meeting her gaze again.

The rest of the morning seemed to go the same way. It was obvious to Emily that JJ didn't want to have to talk her Valentine's Day experience, but Emily had to know what was going on. Emily barely made it to 10am before she couldn't handle not knowing anymore. She saw JJ get up and walk out into the hall, presumably to use the restroom, and Emily followed her. Sure enough, she walked into the bathroom to find JJ standing at the sink.

JJ looked up when Emily came through the door, and when she saw her, she dropped her head and let out small laugh.

"It seems we are destined to have these conversations over this sink," JJ joked, drying her hands and turning to face Emily.

"I'm sorry," Emily said, exerting significant effort to keep her voice from shaking. "I just...wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Garcia told me you spoke to Will," JJ started slowly, looking apprehensively at Emily, who simply nodded.

"I'm sorry he dragged you into it," JJ apologized shaking her head. "He shouldn't have called you."

"Why didn't you?" Emily demanded, unable to control her emotions any longer. This woman was beyond frustrating.

"Wha-I..." JJ looked taken aback by Emily's blunt question.

"He told me he asked you to marry him," Emily stated, her voice on the edge of breaking. She was surprised herself a how she was acting, but JJ acting like they were just regular friends who shouldn't get "dragged into" each other's business was a little infuriating.

"H-he told you?" JJ asked nervously, reaching down and picking at the edge of the sink, avoiding Emily's eyes.

_So she didn't know._

"Yes." Emily answered in the same blunt tone, keeping her eyes locked on JJ.

"I...wasn't sure if he told you," JJ said, still engrossed in some spot on the counter.

Emily stared at her. _This is ridiculous._

"He did," she repeated.

"Emily, I'm so sorry," JJ said, her eyes thoroughly apologetic, and Emily's whole body went numb. The look on JJ's face, the way she was apologizing, Emily immediately thought that JJ was telling her that she'd told Will yes.

"You're marrying him?" Emily burst out, finally able to find her voice. Simultaneously feelings of anger, hurt, and betrayal exploded inside her.

"What?" JJ spluttered, looking shocked and confused. "No! Why would you think- do you actually think I would do that?"

The feeling slowly returned to Emily's limbs as she realized that she'd been mistaken, but the anger and hurt did not immediately dissipate.

"How would I know what you would do?" Emily yelled with exasperated indignation. "You didn't even tell me that he proposed! And then you disappeared! And it's not like you've been very clear about what your intentions are, so really, how would I know!" She knew the bitterness was evident in her voice, but she didn't care. She was sick of JJ acting like there was nothing wrong with this back and forth between them.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" JJ demanding, straightening up defiantly, and placing her hand on her hip. "I'm pretty sure I told you explicitly that I wanted _you_!"

"You said you didn't know what that meant and then you went home to _him_!" Months of suppressed jealousy came spewing out of Emily's mouth as she fired back at the blonde woman.

"I needed time Emily," JJ snapped back. "You said you understood."

"I did! I...do," Emily said, hesitating for a moment. "But then you disappeared! Why didn't you at least call me?" She pleaded, though anger still evident in her tone. "I called you a dozen times and you couldn't even send me a text?"

JJ rolled her eyes. "I was completely caught off guard. I needed time, I needed space. To figure out what was going on. I didn't think I had to tell you, it's not like we're..." she stopped herself before finishing that sentence. It was too late though, Emily had already caught on.

"It's not like we're _what_?" Emily demanded, her eyes flashing angrily. "It's not like we're together? Well, you're right," she spat. "We're not." Turning on her heel, the brunette walked abruptly out of the bathroom, leaving JJ standing open-mouthed at the sink.

Emily was shaking with fury as she walked down the hall. She couldn't believe JJ. It was like she was purposely trying to fuck with her. Two days ago, she had been ready to have sex with her, telling Emily that she wanted her…and now, apparently they were nothing to each other.

"Prentiss, you ok?" Emily ran into Derek as she stalked her way back into the office.

"I'm fine," she muttered through gritted teeth, continuing toward her desk.

"Okay..." Morgan said looking skeptical. "Well you do remember we have tactical this afternoon?"

"Good," Emily sighed, throwing herself into her desk chair. "I really need to shoot some bad guys right now."

Morgan simply raised an eyebrow because at that moment JJ came through the door and dropped herself behind her desk without a word. Derek looked from the blonde and back to Emily, who simply turned toward her computer and resumed her paperwork.

…

After the conversation with Emily in the bathroom, JJ tried to avoid all her coworkers for the rest of the day. She didn't feel like talking to anyone, so she kept to herself and tried to be productive.

Around noon, Will's name appeared on her phone, and JJ went outside to take the call. She couldn't avoid him forever.

"Hello," she answered the phone, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible.

"_JJ!"_ Will sounded thoroughly shocked to hear JJ's voice. _"I, uh, I wasn't sure if you'd…"_ He trailed off, and it was obvious that he had no idea what to say now that he had her on the phone.

"Yeah, well I was going to call you anyway," JJ filled the silence quickly. "We should talk. And I want to see Henry tonight."

"_Oh, he's still at your parents' right now…"_ Came Will's reply, and JJ could tell he was nervous about making her upset with everything that he said. _"I can go get him though, if you want,"_ the young man continued hurriedly. _"I didn't know if you would maybe want us to have some time to talk, alone…or…"_

His constant mumbling was starting to annoy JJ. He was acting like she was some kind of crazy person, set to go off at any second if he said the wrong thing.

"Actually, that might be a good idea. I'll call my mom and let her know," JJ answer curtly. It might be better if she and Will had this conversation without their son in the house.

"_Okay,"_ Will said slowly. _"Um, when will you…"_

"I'll be there after work, probably around six."

"_Okay…"_

"…Okay then," JJ rolled her eyes, still irritated at the man's attitude. "I'll see you tonight." She hung up and dropped the phone from her ear. She walked to the window in the hall that overlooked the parking lot.

_This is not going to be fun,_ she thought, already dreading six o'clock. Turning from the window, she stared at the line of pictures across the opposite wall. All of the agents who had died in service. Her eyes fell on the space where Emily's photo had hung, just a few months ago.

She felt a pang of guilt remembering their confrontation in the bathroom. Maybe she should have told Emily about Will's proposal, if not at least to let her know that she needed space for awhile. Now, as things were, she didn't know if she even had a choice to make, if Emily's behavior had been any indication. Everything about her tone, the look on her face, had clearly communicated that she was finished with JJ and any possibility of them being together.

JJ felt a sinking feeling in her stomach, and she thought she might throw up. She didn't know if she could fix this. It seemed like everything was falling apart – her relationship with Will, her chances with Emily…

Staring at the empty space on the wall, JJ couldn't help but think the worst. Had she really just lost Emily for good?

…

JJ didn't see Emily for the rest of the day. Apparently, she was still doing tactical training with Morgan and they had a session set up for that afternoon.

At five o'clock, JJ packed up her things and headed towards the door.

"You're heading home?" Spencer looked up from his computer when he saw JJ stand up.

"Um, yeah," JJ said, pausing next to his desk. "I…need to talk to Will. I'm not staying though," she added, hoping the young doctor would understand what she meant.

Spencer nodded. "I'll be home," he said simply, and gave her that small smile of his. "Good luck, JJ."

"Thanks," JJ heaved a sigh, slinging her bag over her shoulder. She raised her hand in a brief wave and headed out the door.

The ride to her house was painfully long. Pulling into the driveway, JJ took a deep breath, bracing herself before going inside.

"JJ!" Will came running into the front hall as soon as he heard her open the door. JJ smiled weakly as she dropped her bag and removed her coat. Her stomach was tying itself into more knots at the sight of him.

"JJ," he said again, taking a step toward her, but obviously unsure of how to behave.

"Hi," she grimaced, trying to swallow the lump of nerves rising in her throat.

"I'm so glad you're alright," Will said, standing awkwardly in front of her. "I was so worried last night, I…" He shook his head. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"I'm sorry," JJ offered, taking a step to try and move their conversation into the kitchen. "I should've called or let you know where I was." She didn't say anything else, not really sure how to sum up the need to escape from him that had consumed her the previous night.

"No, it's my fault," Will said apologetically as he followed her into the kitchen. "I shouldn't have pressured you about marriage."

JJ stared at him, somewhat taken aback by his immediate remorse.

Will stepped toward her and took her hand in his. "I don't care about us getting married, it's just a dumb piece of paper," he said, looking earnestly into her eyes. "I realized, last night, I was so scared I was going to lose you over that. I don't _need_ us to get married, or anything. I just need you."

The hope in his eyes was torture for JJ. "Will…" She shook her head. "You say that now, but it's not like this is the first time we've had this conversation." She could remember at least two previous discussions they'd had about marriage, and it was clear that it had been something he wanted and she was really unsure about.

"We don't have to talk about marriage," Will insisted. "What's important to me is that we're a family, and-"

"We _are_ a family," JJ interrupted, withdrawing her hands and taking a step backward. "That won't change regardless of things between you and I. But," she looked up at him, meeting his eyes with difficulty. "This is just going to keep coming up. We're going to keep hitting this wall. We already have been!" JJ threw her hands in the air, shaking her head. "I don't know if it's going to work."

"What? What does that mean?" Will asked, his voice on the brink of panic. "What's not going to work?"

"I…" JJ took a deep breath, looking down at her hands. "Us," She said finally. "I don't know if _we_ are going to work like this."

"But you…" Will was near speechless, pain and desperation flooding his eyes. "You said we'd always be a family! That's what you've always said you wanted!"

Tears sprang to JJ's eyes. It _was_ what she wanted, that's precisely why this was so damn difficult. "I do," she insisted, reaching out to him, but he jerked away.

"Then what? What JJ?" Will threw up his hands in exasperation. "What is it? You're just giving up on having our family, so there must be something else. Is there someone else? Huh? Who is he?"

"No!" JJ responded instinctively. She couldn't tell him about Emily…besides, Emily wasn't the _reason_ this wasn't going to work, she had just…facilitated JJ's realization of the fact. "It's not because there's someone else! We just…want different things!"

"I thought we both wanted to be there for Henry, to be a family," Will demanded, dropping his hands to his sides.

"Yes, but-"

"But what? You don't want to be with me? You're unhappy? Is that it?"

"Yes!" JJ cried, exasperated. "I am! And so are you! You hate my job, we constantly fight about me being gone, I _know_ I don't make you happy like this," she emphasized, giving him a pointed look, before continuing. "I'm not willing to give up the BAU! You think you want me as your wife, but Will, you don't. The only reason is because I'm Henry's mother."

"And that's not enough?" The man demanded, slamming his hand down on the counter.

"I don't know!" JJ's voice broke. "I want Henry to have both his parents, but I…" Tears slid down her face. This was exactly the problem that was causing her so much heartache. "I don't know," she repeated wiping her cheek with the back of her hand. "There has to be a way we can do what's best for our son and still allow ourselves to be happy."

Will stared at her, his face stony and distant. "So what then, JJ? Tell me what to do."

"I don't know," she said again, sniffing back more tears. They stood silent for a moment, just standing and staring at one another. JJ looked down at her hands again, finding the look on Will's face unbearable. This had been why she couldn't do this. She was so clearly stabbing him in the chest.

"I need some space to figure it out," she finally said, raising her head to meet his eyes. "I think we both should…take some time…" She trailed off, hoping he would say something, but his face remained expressionless.

"If that's what you think," he said, shrugging and turning away from her. "Whatever you want, JJ." The statement was resentful and bitter, and JJ knew this was going to be all her fault. In his eyes, she was tearing apart their family, giving up on their relationship, and purposefully hurting their son. JJ didn't have the energy to try and fight that perception right now. She wasn't even sure she disagreed with most of it. She felt like she was destroying this home, even though she wasn't sure she'd ever felt like it was "home" in the first place.

"I'm going to be staying with Spencer for a few days," she offered quietly to Will's turned back. He didn't face her, but simply nodded.

"And Henry?" Will asked, his back still to her.

"Um, I'll be around during the day," JJ said, clearing her throat. "I just…won't be sleeping here."

"Is it him?" Will asked suddenly turning around to face her. "Are you sleeping with Spencer?"

"What? Will…" JJ shook her head. "Come on. No." She looked up at him sadly. "I told you, it's not about someone else. It's about us."

The young detective dropped his head. "Yeah. Right."

JJ sighed, but ultimately disregarded the comment. "I'll pick Henry up from my parents' tomorrow," she offered. "And we'll come back here for lunch…if that's okay."

"Sure," Will shrugged, not looking up at her. "Whatever you want."

JJ winced at his harsh tone. "I'm sorry," she whispered, hoping he would believe her, but he didn't respond. Biting back tears, she grabbed her purse and went upstairs to pack some clothes.

When she came back down fifteen minutes later, Will was gone. JJ threw her bag into her car, and got behind the wheel. She took a deep breath.

_You need this, _she told herself, trying to be resolute. _You're not _trying_ to hurt him. He'll understand eventually. He will. He has to. _

She shook her head fiercely, trying to fight the tears, but they came anyway. She collapsed against the steering wheel, breaking down into violent sobs.

…

The next day, Emily headed to Quantico early. She had another tactical training session with Morgan, and she was very much looking forward to the distraction.

On her way to work, Emily's phone rang. Looking down, she was shocked to see that her mother was calling her.

"What the hell..." She said aloud, picking up her phone. She hadn't really spoken to her mother since she retuned from Paris, and things had been more estranged between them than before, if that were possible.

With fearful apprehension, Emily answered the phone.

"Hello?" She asked slowly, not knowing at all what to expect.

"Emily?" her mother's voice came across the line, and Emily was surprised at the hint of nervousness she detected there.

"Hello Mother," She said formally, thoroughly uncomfortable with the whole idea of this conversation. "How are you?" she didn't know what else to say.

"I wanted to know if we could have lunch," her mother blurted out rather suddenly, and Emily was certain that it had taken her a lot to make this phone call.

"Um, today?" She replied hesitantly. "I can't really today, I have-"

"No not today of course," Ambassador Prentiss interrupted crisply, sounding much more like her usual self. "Sometime this week or next. I was thinking Sunday."

"Ok," Emily consented, knowing nothing short of a case could get her out of this.

"Very good. I'll pick you up at twelve."

"You'll...you don't need to pick me up, Mother. I can meet you," Emily really did not want to add a painfully awkward car ride to this already uncomfortable situation.

"Nonsense. I know a place in the city and there's no reason for both of us to drive."

Looks like she's driving.

As usual when it came to her mother, Emily didn't press the issue. "Okay, that's fine. Sunday at noon," Emily tried to keep her voice pleasant.

"Yes. Well," the ambassador obviously didn't know how to handle the goodbye. "See you then," she finished stiffly and hung up.

Taking the phone from her ear, Emily stared at the device. "So this is really happening then," she said, dropping the phone into the seat next to her. "Fantastic."

She couldn't really process that now, she had been avoiding her mother for the very reason that neither of them knew how to handle her "death" and return. Pressing her foot harder into the gas pedal and gripping the steering wheel tighter, Emily sped up, hoping that being in the tactical simulator would take her mind off of things.

...

The tactical training had gone well, Emily thought as she walked into the BAU later that morning. _Minus Morgan's little drill sergeant speech…_

Emily knew Morgan was a tough trainer, that's exactly why he'd been asked to teach the tactical courses. But she couldn't help feeling that some of his harshness as of late had to do with her. She knew he harbored feelings of guilt after what happened with Doyle, it was why he asked to her to participate in the training courses with him this session.

_But he needs to know that it's not his fault_.

"Morgan," Emily called, seeing her colleague as she exited the elevator. He stopped and turned as she approached, the frown lines from this morning still etched on his face. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You were a little hard on Valdez. He's just a new agent trainee," Emily said.

"Who made a fatal mistake," Morgan replied seriously.

Emily fought the urge to roll her eyes. "He looks up to you," she explained. "I'm just saying, maybe you could build his confidence, not break it," she suggested, hoping he wouldn't be angry that she was questioning his teaching style.

"Imagine how he'd feel if that had been real," Morgan answered, turning to walk away, indicating that the conversation was over.

"Ok, yeah, I understand that," Emily followed him. "But the course is designed to force failure, that's how we learn."

"And my job is to train the trainees, not to be their friend," Morgan answered stonily.

"Look," Emily sighed. "I know you're doing the "tough love" thing, but they don't know you like I do." Derek's face seemed to soften with her sincerity. Before she could continue, however, Garcia marched in carrying a stack of files.

"We got a heater," the technical analyst announced. "We're going back to Cali, Crime-fighters."

Morgan glanced back at Emily. The rest of their conversation would have to wait. Sighing, she grabbed her tablet and followed him to the conference room where the rest of the team was waiting.

Emily had to suppress a bitter laugh when she entered the room and saw that the only empty seat was next to JJ. The two hadn't spoken since Emily stormed out of the restroom yesterday, and Emily had tried not to think about the blonde as much as possible since then.

JJ didn't look up until Emily slid into the chair beside her. She scooted over to give Emily more room, and it was immediately obvious that JJ was nervous about being around her.

"San Bernardino, California," Garcia announced, passing the files around the table. "Two home invasions in less than a week, only a block apart. _Exact_ same M.O. Both houses were burgled, power and phone lines cut, and they broke in through a back window."

"In each case the entire family was shot and killed?" Reid asked, looking up from the open folder in front of him.

"Yes, that is right," Garcia confirmed. "I present to you, the Mitchells and the Lewis family," she said as two family portraits appeared on the projector screen.

"They took out the power and the phone lines to isolate them," Rossi commented, leaning back in his chair and looking up at the screen. "The alarm systems wouldn't work, and they couldn't call for help."

"An assailant was killed in each case?" JJ interrupted, indicating to the note in the file. Emily looked at her, her current resentment toward the young blonde unable to prevent her from noticing how soft her hair looked, or the way it framed her face perfectly the way she had it styled today. She quickly looked away, trying to stamp out her feelings before they started.

"Affirmative," Penelope was answering. "But the sheriff hasn't indentified them yet."

"So both families were armed and fought back and shot one of their attackers," Emily clarified, consciously ignoring that JJ's eyes on her as she spoke.

"Is that a coincidence or a connection?" Morgan asked, looking around at the team for ideas.

"What concerns me," Hotch spoke up from across the table, "is the frequency of the kills."

"Yeah, four days apart," JJ commented, also looking significantly concerned at that fact. Emily did _not_ notice the adorable frown line that appeared on the _not _perfect forehead of her coworker, right above her _not _perfectly crystal blue eyes.

"It's a long flight, we'd better get going," Hotch said, thankfully drawing Emily's attention away from the damningly beautiful woman beside her. "Wheel's up in thirty." He gathered his things and left the room.

Emily immediately stood up and followed. She needed to get away from JJ. _Why am I so fucking stupid when it comes to her?_ She berated herself as she left the room, angry that even when she was furious at the younger woman, she couldn't stop herself from wanting her.

And of course, on the jet, Emily found herself seated directly across from the object of her frustration.

Summoning all the will in her body, Emily was determined to be professional. And also avoid JJ as much as possible.

"Brian Mitchell was an avid hunter," She commented as the team continued going over the files. "Matt Lewis was an Iraq war vet. It's not surprising they both owned guns."

"Last year," Reid interjected, and they all knew a statistic was coming. "Southern California's Inland Empire ranked fourth in the nation for foreclosure rates. Typically as the economy falls, crime rates rise."

"Times are tough," Rossi commented. "Desperate people do desperate things."

"Greetings all," Garcia's face popped up on the video screen. "Your herald bears tidings. The sheriff I.D.'d both the dead home invaders. First up, is Alex Collison, 20, made an impressive list of bad decisions, including being a card-carrying member of the Verduco Heights Boys-"

"They're gang members?" JJ interrupted, raising her eyebrows. Gang involvement could make this situation all the more volatile.

"Oh he was," Garcia answered. "But slow your roll homegirl because next up is Ronald Underwood, 19, zero record, straight-A student, putting himself through college…"

"Not exactly the home invasion-type," Emily finished, glancing around at her team members, sans one in particular.

"Both from a poor area of town," Hotch commented, looking down at the information Garcia had just sent to their tablets. "Grew up a mile apart."

"Hard to tell from the crime scene photos how many assailants there were," Rossi added.

"Well if it was gang-related, there could be a lot of them," Emily warned, slightly worried that JJ's first comment might have been right.

"Well the homes that were invaded were on the other side of town," JJ said, looking directly at Emily, who immediately looked away. "In a predominately white area, full of middle class families…"

"Hey guys," Garcia interrupted. "The M.E.'s report just came in, both of them had high levels of oxycodone in their systems."

"That's strange," Spencer said, frowning at the new information. "Violent crimes like these are usually associated with stimulant drugs, not opiates like oxycodone." Morgan nodded in agreement, thinking that this was not a gangbanger's M.O.

"Well whatever this is, we've got to get ahead of it," Hotch said. "The press has got the community on the verge of panic. JJ, you and I will coordinate with the sheriff's office. I want the rest of you at the crime scenes."

Emily nodded, and turned back to the case file. Hotch was right – with brutal crimes with apparent racial aspects like these, they needed to figure out what was going on, and fast.

…

From the crime scenes, they realized that there was only one shooter, and that the unsub was staging the crime scenes to look like the victims killed one of their assailants. JJ and Hotch's conversations with the two "assailants'" family members indicated that neither of the men would have been capable of committing those crimes.

"This wasn't a burglary at all," Reid said. "There was a higher purpose here. There's staging of the crime scene to send some kind of message."

"This guy's trying to make it look like black kids from the hood are killing white families in white neighborhoods," Morgan explained.

Later that night, they got a call that there had been another break-in. This time, the staged assailant was a Hispanic migrant worker.

"The homeowners in each case were killed humanely, he didn't want them to suffer," Emily explained, when she, Morgan and Rossi returned from the crime scene and were debriefing the rest of the team.

"But the fall guys he left behind were all shot multiple times…overkill, like it was personal," Morgan added grimly.

"And he modified his M.O. This time, he wanted it to look like an undocumented immigrant was responsible for the crime."

"These are hate crimes," Hotch stated. "The point is to incite racial tension and fear." The team exchanged concerned looks, knowing that such a racial element could inspire other similarly-minded people to take up the cause and add to the killings. They needed to work fast.

The next day, they presented the profile to the police. That afternoon, Morgan discovered that Clark Preston, a candidate in the current race for Mayor had been all over the news spouting harsh rhetoric about the home invasions. He was blaming demographic changes and illegal immigrants for the violent crimes, using racist language like "the browning of America," to further his campaign. Hotch agreed that Preston's language and media appearances were stoking the fire, but he seemed skeptical that Preston had anything to do with the crimes themselves.

"We should still talk to him," Hotch agreed and Morgan set up the meeting.

When they spoke to Preston, he acted like a racist jerk, but agreed to tone down his media appearances for the time being.

Not long after the man left the police station, Garcia called with information she'd uncovered on Preston. He was apparently some kind of real estate lawyer who'd made millions of dollars, despite the bad economy.

"I don't know how," Morgan said, "but I know this guy is involved."

Emily frowned. "Are you sure? I mean, he's a racist, yeah, but a murderer?"

"I'm telling you, Prentiss, I just have a feeling," Morgan insisted, and Emily shrugged. A feeling was about as concrete as they had at this point.

…

The next morning, a new crime scene was discovered, but this time the M.O. had changed again: there wasn't anyone left behind, staged to look like an assailant.

However, not half an hour after Hotch and Rossi headed to the new crime scene, an undocumented immigrant from Mexico showed up at the police station with a story that sounded like he had been the unsub's intended fall guy, but had somehow gotten away.

"His name is Ramon Gomez," JJ told Reid, Morgan and Emily who had gathered around. "He's an undocumented worker from Mexico City, and he is pretty freaked out." She looked at Emily, who was watching the obviously terrified man sitting in the interrogation room.

She wished Emily would just _look_ at her…

JJ hadn't known what to expect when she arrived at the BAU the previous day, after the confrontation between them. She knew Emily was angry, but she had hoped…Well, it didn't matter. All of her worst fears were being confirmed by Emily's icy demeanor towards her on this case. JJ hadn't been able to catch her eye once, and whenever Emily spoke, it was like she was addressing everyone but JJ.

"Well that's understandable," Morgan commented, and JJ tore her eyes away from Emily's profile, looking back to her other coworkers.

"Was he able to give a description of the unsub?" Reid asked, indicating to Ramon.

"Um, just of the vehicle," JJ said. "His English is not good." She glanced again at Emily, who nodded briefly, still not meeting her eyes, and walked into the interrogation room to speak with the man.

JJ watched as Emily sat down, greeting Ramon in Spanish.

"Never fails to impress me," Morgan commented, as the three stood watching Emily converse with the man in near fluent Spanish.

JJ nodded, not taking her eyes from her coworker's figure, as she leaned forward toward Ramon, asking him questions about the his abduction. JJ was always in awe of Emily's intelligence, and there was just something incredibly attractive about her multilingual skills.

Watching Emily, her movements, her mannerisms, JJ felt a lump rising in her throat. She wanted Emily more than anything. She _knew_ that. There had to be a way to fix this.

"He heard a train, laughing and loud music," Emily said as she emerged from the interrogation room.

"That could be anything," Morgan said, frowning. "What are we going to do with-"

JJ cut him off, nodding at Spencer, who had already gone over to the evidence board and hung a map. "I'm sure he'll come up with something," she laughed. Emily let out a small laugh, and JJ looked over at her, smiling. Her heart sank when the smile fell from the older woman's face and she immediately turned and walked away.

_There has to be a way, _JJ insisted to herself.

Minutes later, Hotch and Rossi returned from the crime scene to join them gathered around Reid and his map.

"Given the time and the parameters," Spencer explain, "there's no way the unsub could've ventured outside this radius."

"Okay," Emily said eagerly. "Ramon said the train was close, and he heard laughter and loud music."

Reid nodded. "I looked at points of interest near the train tracks, and there really isn't much...there's a warehouse, a taco stand that would've been closed, and a bar called the Drunken Dog."

Hotch immediately got Garcia on the phone to look up the specifics on the bar. As it turned out, one of Clark Preston's hedge fund companies had purchased the bar six years ago when the owner died.

"Ok, we missed something," Emily said, looking around at the team. "We need to go back over Preston's staff and contributors again."

"They all came up clean," JJ said, shaking her head. Emily's eyes lingered on hers for half a second longer than they had all day, and JJ's heart leapt with a flinch of hope. But a millisecond later, the brown eyes had gone, and Emily had turned toward Reid.

"Garcia, look up DMV records and look up every registration in the area that matches the description of the unsub's car," Morgan said loudly.

"Ok…" Garcia's fingers could be heard clicking over her keyboard through the phone. "Seventy-nine names," she announced. "But I'm way ahead of you, none of them match anyone on Preston's team…Wait, what the what…" the technical analyst paused.

"What is it Baby Girl?" Morgan prodded as they all waited in anticipation to hear what she had discovered.

"Oh I am good at my job," Penelope said. "Pamela Mills donates monthly to Preston's campaign, her son, Trevor, his car matches the description and it's registered in his name," she rattled off quickly, sounding rather proud of herself.

"Got a photo and address?" JJ asked.

"Yes I do, and I have a place of work for Trevor. I'm sending it now!"

"JJ, Morgan and Prentiss, you take the workplace," Hotch commanded, standing up quickly. "We'll take the house."

Emily turned around to come face to face with JJ. Their eyes locked, and JJ froze, her breath caught slightly in her throat.

_Is she going to say something?_ JJ's mind raced, trying to think of something to engage Emily. But the dark-haired profiler simply stared at her blankly, and turned away expressionless. The complete apathy and lack of emotion conveyed by her eyes tore at JJ's heart.

_It's really over then, _she thought, waves of sadness washing over her. She wanted to go somewhere and cry. It was overwhelming, dealing with hurting Will as she had, seeing him look at her with almost the same blank expression that Emily just had.

JJ stood for moment, unable to move.

"JJ come on," she heard Morgan call back to her. "We're leaving."

"Right." She shook her head, swallowing the urge to burst into tears and followed Morgan to the car, where Emily was already waiting.

…

Garcia called the team en route to tell them about a connection she uncovered between Preston and the Mills family.

Apparently, ten years ago, the Mills were victims of a home invasion. Robert Mills, the father, and ten-year-old Julie were killed. Pamela was raped suffered a lot of brain damage that left her in a partially vegetative state. Trevor hid in the closet and called 911 when it was over.

After the murders, Preston financially supported the family almost entirely. They realized that Preston was in fact behind everything, manipulating the Mills family to further his own agenda. He brainwashed Trevor and turned him into a killer.

"This is not good," Morgan shook his head as they sped towards Trevor's place of work.

He wasn't there, and as they were getting back into the car, Hotch called Morgan and told him that Trevor had left a good-bye note for his mother at the house.

"This is all about the election. He's going after the other candidates now," Hotch warned. "We'll secure Mayor Wennington, you three need to get to candidate Ross's house. And Morgan," Emily heard Hotch say over the phone, "He won't go down without a fight, so be prepared."

On the way over, Morgan tried calling Hilary Ross's phone, but got no answer.

They pulled up in front of her house, and Morgan shook his head. "Still no answer," he said tensely.

"That's her car," Emily pointed to the vehicle in the driveway.

"Alright," Morgan said quickly. "You two go around back, I'll draw his fire while you flank him."

Emily frowned, "Are you sure you want to split up?" If this guy wasn't going to go quietly, it might be a bad idea to leave Morgan without cover.

"We gotta cover the back and the front in case he runs," Derek insisted. "Let's go." With that he headed toward the house. Emily exchanged a look with JJ. Taking a deep breath, they both drew their weapons and started around the back of the house.

JJ heard screams and scuffling as she followed Emily up to the back door, and through the glass, she saw Trevor heading toward the back stairs.

"FBI!" Emily shouted as she threw open the back door. Trevor turned, panicking and fired. It was like slow motion for a moment, as JJ saw Emily stumble backward, taking a hit.

"Emily!" She screamed, simultaneously stepping forward into the house and firing back at Trevor.

"He's heading upstairs!" Emily shouted holding her shoulder. "Go!"

"You're hit!" JJ turned to her coworker who was doubled over on the ground. "Emily I can't leave-" JJ's voice was wild with panic. She didn't care about Trevor or Hilary Ross or whoever, she couldn't leave Emily.

"JJ," Emily's voice tense, but firm. She grabbed JJ by the shoulder, commanding her attention. "I'm fine," She said, looking hard into JJ's eyes. "You need to go."

JJ stood, her heart still pounding, staring at Emily.

"_Go!_" Emily shouted again, prompting JJ to move. Morgan burst through the garage door at that moment.

"He's upstairs!" JJ told him frantically, and he stepped in front of her and charged up the stairs. JJ could hear gunshots and Hilary Ross screaming from some corner of the house. Her hands clenched her gun, every muscle in her body taut with apprehension, anger, and a burning desire to take down the son of a bitch who shot Emily.

"Trevor Mills!" Morgan yelled as they found Trevor cornered with Ross in the bathroom. "It's over!"

As she came around the corner, JJ saw Trevor had Hilary Ross by the neck, a gun to her head. Her finger tensed over her trigger as she tried to find a shot at Trevor's head.

"I know about Preston," Morgan was trying to talk him down. "He's using you kid!"

"Get out of here or I'll kill this bitch!" Trevor yelled, backing back into the bathroom with Hilary.

"Listen to me!" Morgan shouted. "Just listen. The men convicted of killing your family, they both said someone paid them off to do that job, they just couldn't prove it!"

"Liar!" Trevor screamed. "You're lying!"

"Come on, Trevor, wake up!" Morgan kept his gun level and stepped toward the bathroom. "Preston set that up. Crime waves hit, property values drop, and Preston moves in and buys it all for cheap."

"He told me you were trying to turn me," Trevor gasped. "But I'm no traitor!" He threw Hilary Ross aside and burst out of the bathroom, his gun aimed at Morgan. Morgan took the shot before JJ even had the chance, and Trevor fell to the ground.

Immediately, JJ holstered her gun and ran downstairs, leaving Morgan to deal with Trevor and the traumatized Hilary Ross.

…

After JJ and Morgan had gone upstairs, Emily had waited by the back door until the local police showed up.

"They're all upstairs, Emily motioned when the police arrived with the rest of her team.  
>"I think it's over though, I heard gunshots and-"<p>

"Are you okay? Hotch asked apparently not listening to what Emily was saying.

"I'm fine," Emily tried to brush him off, but the Unit Chief didn't budge.

"Hilary Ross is fine, Trevor is dead," a breathless JJ announced as she came running down the stairs. she barely threw a passing glance at Hotch before rushing to Emily's side. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have left you, I should have-"

"JJ I'm _fine_," Emily said sharply, looking up at Hotch who was watching them silently.

"The medics should be here any second," the Unit Chief said when JJ had quieted. "JJ, help Prentiss out front."

Emily had listened to the showdown with Trevor play out loudly as she waited by the back door for the local police and the rest of the team to arrive.

"They're upstairs!" Emily motioned frantically to the police as she heard more screaming and gun shots ring out. Right behind the locals was Hotch, Rossi and Reid, along with the ambulances. Rossi helped Emily out of the house and handed her over to the team of EMTs, despite Emily's insisting that she was fine.

"A bullet went through your shoulder, Emily" Rossi scolded. "It might take more than a band aid, even for you."

Emily rolled her eyes at him, but winced as the paramedic cut her sleeve away from her shoulder.

"Yeah, we're gonna have to take you in to get this patched up," he said and Rossi nodded.

"I'll let Hotch know." He squeezed Emily's hand before letting the medic help her up into the back of the ambulance. "We'll meet you there," he assured her and she nodded.

"I'm fine, really. Don't worry about me." Rossi gave her a brief smile before heading back to the house, where another team of EMTs was bringing Trevor's body out on a stretcher.

...

Emily sat on an emergency room cot, waiting for the doctor to come back with her pain medication. She stared at the curtain separating her space off from the rest, and was startled when it was thrust open and a breathless JJ appeared on the other side.

"Here," a very irritated looking nurse said, holding back the curtain for JJ to pass though. "Can I go back to my job now?"

"Thank you," JJ said, looking somewhat sheepish, and the nurse rolled her eyes and dropped the curtain, leaving the two of them alone.

"Are you okay?" JJ asked immediately, rushing forward to Emily's side, her hands hovering and it was obvious that she wanted to touch Emily, but was unsure of how to behave.

"I'm fine, really," Emily said, watching the blonde woman pick at the edge of the bed near her hip.

"Emily I'm so sorry," JJ said, looking up to meet her eyes. "I shouldn't have left you, I should have covered you or - I never should have-"

"JJ," Emily said, her voice firm but quiet. Her use of her name caused JJ to stop suddenly. "You did your job. I'm perfectly fine."

"But you're not, you're..." JJ reached to touch Emily's sling, but stopped short. Her hand dropped and she looked at Emily with those wide, light blue eyes.

Emily was startled to see them sparkling with tears.

"I can't lose you again," JJ whispered, quickly wiping away the tear that escaped down her cheek. "I was so scared, I..." Emily watching in mild shock as JJ struggled to compose herself.

_What is she saying?  
><em>  
>"I should have told you about Will," JJ finally said, swallowing hard and raising her eyes to Emily's again. "I was just so confused and overwhelmed, and I know it's not an excuse. But I want you to know that it's not...I don't think of us as nothing," she said hesitantly.<p>

Emily raised an eyebrow at JJ's word choice.

"I mean I don't want us to be nothing," the blonde corrected herself quickly. "You're not nothing to me, Emily. You're-"

"Agent Prentiss?" the emergency room doctor poked his head around the curtain, causing both women to look up.

"Uh, yeah," Emily said, clearing her throat and trying to remember where she was.

"I'm Dr. Jameson," the man smiled as he stepped in the room. "I just wanted to go over a few things with you, and then we can get you out of here." He gave JJ a quick smile and handed Emily a prescription note. "For the pain," he said. "And you'll need to wear the sling for a few days. A week would be ideal, but I know in your line of work that is asking a lot."

Emily nodded. "I'll try."

"That's all I ask," the doctor laughed. "Now, you should change your bandage every 12 hours for the first few days." He paused, glancing at JJ. "Do you have anyone who could help you with that?"

"Um," Emily followed the doctor's gaze to the petite blonde, who blushed.

"I ca-"

"Yeah," Emily answered quickly before JJ could say whatever she was going to. "It'll be fine."

"okay great," Dr. Jameson checked the chart again. "I think that's everything," he smiled. "A nurse will be in shortly with your discharge papers."

"Thank you," Emily nodded at him as he left, pulling the curtain closed again behind him.

Emily stared down at the prescription slip in her hand, purposefully avoiding looking at JJ.

"Emily," the blonde said softly, stepping forward and laying her hand on Emily's forearm. Emily didn't respond, but merely waited for JJ to continue.

"I can help you, if you want I can-"

"You don't have to stay," Emily cut her off.

"What?" JJ pulled back, looking slightly confused.

"You can go," Emily said, straightening up and using her best Prentiss voice. "The nurse will be awhile, and you don't need to stay with me. I can meet you back with the rest of team."

"I'm not leaving," JJ said looking apauoled that Emiy would even suggest that. "I'm not leaving you," she continued, her voice insistent.

"I'm fine, really, you don't need to-"

"Emily!" Frustration poured out of JJ's voice, and Emily could tell she was again near tears. "Stop it, ok?" Emily stared at her, her eyes a peculiar shade of light blue that Emily wasn't sure she'd ever seen before. "That's what I was trying to tell you," JJ continued, slightly exasperated but calming down. "I want to be with you. I want-"

"Space? Time?" Emily interrupted, not ready to buy JJ's act just yet. "JJ you don't know what you want, and if you think you do, you'll change your mind in a few days. You should just go home to your family, Will is a good man, he'll take care of -"

"I love you," JJ blurted out, grasping Emily's free hand and firmly taking hold of her gaze. Emily froze, her mouth still formed around the last words of her sentence. She wasn't sure she'd heard JJ correctly, and all she could do was stare.

JJ's eyes searched Emily's for a reaction, a response, an indication of comprehension...anything.

"I love you," JJ repeated, softer this time, and Emily thought her heart was going to fall out of her chest. She must be dreaming. Or dead. Maybe the bullet hadn't hit her shoulder at all, but her heart.

"Prentiss!"

Both women jumped, withdrawing from each other in a split second as Morgan stepped into the room. Emily looked back at JJ, whose eyes met hers, replacing the moment between them.

"Emily, Rossi told me you got hit," the man said, moving to Emily, and causing JJ to step back. JJ looked at Emily once more before turning and leaving the room.

...

The nurse came mere seconds after Morgan, and Emily was able to leave. JJ was waiting for them in the waiting room, and the three of them rode back to the sheriff's office in silence.

Upon arrival, they were met with Hotch, sending them to the hotel to get their things. He wanted to leave tonight.

Between packing and clearing out of the sheriff's office, Emily and JJ didn't have a chance to finish their conversation. JJ hung back as the rest of the team doted on Emily, though Emily caught the young blonde watching her quietly from afar more than a few times.

Once they were on the jet, it was like musical chairs for the seat across from Emily. First Reid, then Rossi, then Hotch came to check on her. After Hotch got up and went to join Rossi at the front of the plane, Emily found herself with a moment of peace. She sat back in her chair and looked across to where JJ was sleeping on the couch, a thin blanket draped over her form.

"_I love you."_ Emily remembered the earnestness blazing in JJ's eyes. Had she really said those words out loud?

Her reminiscing was cut short when Derek came and took the seat across from her.

"How are you doing?" He asked softly, setting a glass of water in front of her on the table.

"I'm alright," she nodded slowly, still emerging from her forest of thoughts about JJ.

"Emily," Morgan paused, shaking his head. "I am so sorry."

Emily stared at him for a minute.

"Out there, in the field," she said solemnly in a faux-deep voice, "Sorry doesn't bring people back." It was a direct quote of what Morgan had said while berating one of the cadets who messed up during their tactical run a few days ago.

She watched as the young man didn't appear to appreciate her joke. "Aw, come on," she smiled. "I'm messing with you."

Morgan still didn't look up.

"It's nothing, really," she insisted, but the man continued to stare at his hands. "I'm _okay_," Emily said again, all the teasing gone from her voice, and her expression softening as Morgan finally raised his head to meet her gaze. "This isn't your fault."

"Actually it is."

Emily opened her mouth in protest. "You're a team leader," she said. "You made a tactical decision. There's no fault in that."

"And you got hurt," Morgan stated. "Again."

_That's what this was about_, Emily thought. _I should have known._ She looked at her coworker affectionately.

"You did what you thought was right," she tried to reassure him, "and that's all you can do. The rest of it, that's not up to us. That's the job."

He looked away, though he seemed to be at least contemplating her words.

"This is nothing, really," Emily insisted again, and Morgan sat back, his face finally relaxing slightly as he appeared to accept what she was saying. They sat silently for a moment, both looking out the window.

"I mean that thing with Doyle though," Emily added, shaking her head. "Pfft, now that…" She looked up at Morgan who was staring at her horrified. "I'm kidding!" She laughed. "Oh my gosh, Derek, I'm kidding."

Morgan just shook his head, and shot her a look. "Watch it, Prentiss."

Emily laughed. "You need to lighten up, just a little." He rolled his eyes, and turned back to the window, while Emily's eyes found their way back to JJ.

_Did she really say that? _The whole day seemed to be a blur, and Emily was having trouble convincing herself the exchange with JJ in the hospital hadn't been some kind of dream. _ And did she mean it? Those words can mean so many different things…_

"And how's that going?" Morgan had caught Emily staring at their sleeping coworker.

"I….don't know," Emily sighed, tearing her eyes away from JJ and looking back at Morgan.

"She's going through some stuff with Will…And I think the thought of doing anything that might hurt Henry is really tough for her. She comes from such a wholesome background…"

Derek nodded understandingly.

"I just want her to have the time and space to figure all that stuff out," Emily said. "I don't want to make things more complicated."

"That makes sense," he said, nodding affirmatively. "You know, you're a good one, Prentiss. She'd be a lucky woman."

Emily gave him a grateful smile. "Thanks…" She appreciated his sincerity, but she wasn't sure things were headed that way.

"She'll figure it out," Morgan reassured her, seeming to read her mind.

Emily glanced back to JJ, still sleeping at the other end of the jet. "I…don't know," she said frowning, shaking her head. As much as she wanted JJ – and she did, with her whole heart and soul – she didn't want to keep getting hurt in this circle of JJ's confusion. It just seemed like things were destined to be too complicated.

…

The team didn't land in Virginia until nearly 3:30am. They were all exhausted, trudging off the jet and mumbling sleepy goodbyes before heading to their respective vehicles. Even Hotch didn't stop in the office.

"Emily do you need someone to drive you home?" Morgan asked as the group made their way to the parking lot.

"I think I'll be fine," Emily said, not really wanting to deal with anyone- she just wanted sleep.

"You really shouldn't drive yourself," Spencer spoke up, looking concerned.

"I can take you." Emily looked up to see JJ addressing her from the other side of Morgan. "It's no problem."

"No, JJ," Emily protested, really not having the energy to process everything that had happened between them in the last 24 hours. "It's so out of the way for you, your house is-"

"I'm not going home," JJ said hurriedly. "So it's no problem."

Morgan glanced at Emily, raising an eyebrow. "Okay then. Thanks JJ." Emily glared at Morgan.

"Thanks a lot," she mouthed.

"I can bring you back in the morning to pick up your car," JJ said. "I mean, I can pick you up and bring you..."

"Yeah we can work something out," Emily said curtly. "Let's go." She shot Morgan another look over her shoulder before striding over to JJ's car. She wasn't happy about this. Her and JJ needed to talk, but right now, she was too exhausted and in too much pain to deal with this. And she couldn't imagine any other reason for JJ to jump so quickly at the chance to drive her, other than to have Emily be her captive audience for 30 minutes.

She didn't look at the blonde as they climbed into the vehicle. She tried not to notice all of JJ's movements as she settled herself into the driver's seat, buckling her seatbelt and adjusting the rearview mirror.

The drive began in silence, though Emily could tell JJ wanted to speak. She kept glancing in Emily's direction, as if to gauge how her words would be received.

"Thank you," Emily broke the silence. "For driving me. Even though I could've done it myself." JJ smiled at Emily's stubbornness.

"I'm sure you could have. But thank you for letting me." She smiled at Emily, who gave a small smile back, but a moment later they fell into silence again.

"So where are you going?" Emily asked after another minute.

"Um," JJ shifted nervously in her seat, but didn't take her eyes off the road. "I'm staying with Spence for awhile."

That wasn't the answer Emily expected. Suddenly a hundred questions flooded her mind and she wanted JJ to start talking.

"Why?" _Subtle Prentiss. Nice._

"I, er," JJ coughed nervously, "Will is at the house and..." She clearly wasn't sure how to say what she wanted. "I...we've separated." she glanced at Emily, who was just staring at her.

"You...Because of the proposal?"

"Because of a lot of things," JJ sighed. "But yeah. He wants to get married, I don't...He deserves someone who wants to commit to him," she said thoughtfully, staring at the road ahead of them.

Emily couldn't lie, her heart had leapt a little bit when JJ said that. But still...the woman's track record in this area wasn't exactly firm.

_But she actually left. She's not staying with him anymore..._

"So what does that mean, that you've separated?" Emily asked carefully.

JJ smiled and Emily instantly regretted the question. She knew JJ was thinking she was asking because she wanted to know what the implications were for them, which was definitely /not/ the case. Or, she at least didn't want JJ to know it was.

"I'm not entirely sure to be honest," JJ answered. "I told him I'm not going to be staying there, but of course I want to be around as much as possible for Henry." She looked quickly at Emily. "We haven't talked about who's moving or whatever...actually I'm not sure he believes it's over truthfully."

"Is it?" Emily couldn't help it. She had to know.

JJ smiled sadly. "Yeah," she said quietly, pulling them into Emily's parking lot.

"Let me help you," JJ said, putting the car in park and turning off the engine. She got out, grabbing Emily's go back from the back seat and following Emily to her door.

"Here," JJ said, taking Emily's purse while the brunette fit her key in the lock. She pushed the door open, and had meant to take her things from JJ, but the blonde carried the bags into the foyer, setting them down by the kitchen counter.

Emily watched, unsure if JJ was going to try to stay. Honestly, she wasn't quite sure what she would do if she did try, as Emily was still trying to process all their interactions in light of what she had just learnt about JJ's relationship with Will.

"Is there anything else I can do?" JJ asked, standing in Emily's kitchen, looking around. "Anything else you need?" She looked at Emily and smiled, waiting for the brunette to respond.

All Emily could think of were JJ's word from the emergency room. Where would that have gone if Morgan and Dr. Jameson hadn't interrupted them?

"I..." Emily began hesitantly, not quite sure what she wanted to say. "Um, so, you...I mean, were you..."_ Are you really going to do this? You sound like an idiot right now. _ Emily fidgeted nervously with her keys that she was still holding. _Just fucking say it if this is what you're going to do.  
><em>  
>JJ was watching at her curiously, not moving, waiting patiently for her to put her sentence together.<p>

"Er, I guess, um...Did you-did you mean what you said before?" Emily finally managed, hardly able to hear her own words over the sound of her pounding heart.

JJ titled her head, smiling affectionately at her. "I did," she said, taking a few steps forward and closing the distance between them. Emily looked down, swallowing hard.

"Emily, yes," JJ said again, coming to stop in front of her.

"Tell me again," Emily whispered, raising her head and closing her eyes and fighting back tears. This couldn't be real. She had waited too long- two lifetimes it seemed- to hear JJ say those words to her.

JJ reached out, brushing her fingers along Emily's jaw line. "I love you Emily Prentiss," she whispered, her blue eyes consuming Emily's, her breath so close Emily could feel it against her own lips. Emily gasped slightly at the confession, caught up in everything that was this woman.

"I thought..." Emily choked, tears overflowing down her cheeks. "I never..." She shook her head violently, trying to hold back the unstoppable tears.

"Hey..." JJ soothed, cupping Emily's face in her hands. "I know," she said simply, pulling Emily into her. "I know. I'm sorry."

Emily broke at JJ's words. Sobs of suppressed hurt, anguish, jealousy, torment, relief, love of her own, shook from her body. She laid against JJ, unable to stop the flood of emotion. She had felt that any chance of this was lost, it had slipped away. But hearing JJ say those words...

"And I also meant that I want to be with you," JJ said, pulling back slightly to look into Emily's eyes. "I have never been more sure if anything in my life, she said, seeming to read the uncertainty in Emily's face.

"I promise you that Emily." She wiped a stray tear from Emily's cheek. "I do need to say though that I need us to take things slowly."

"Ok..." Emily wiped her eyes and took a step back. "So tell me what that means to you."

JJ nodded. "I just mean that I _just _split up with Will, and while there are no feelings or lingering desires to be with him- which there absolutely are not," she stressed, looking intently at Emily, "I still need to take some time to figure out how things are going to work with him, ease Henry into this...separation."

Emily could tell that JJ was sad about what had happened to her family. But she didn't feel threatened by the twinge of regret in JJ's voice- she understood that the blonde had wanted to give her son a happy home with his father more than anything.

"I understand," Emily said, nodding. "Just please...please communicate with me, ok?" Emily frowned with desperate sincerity. "I need you to tell me what's going on and what you're thinking, because, if..." She trailed off, feeling a lump rising in her throat again. "I just can't..."

"Emily," JJ said gently as stepped forward, taking the older woman's face in her hands again. "I promise I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I don't want to lose you and I'm _not_ going to give you up. When that bullet hit you, I feared the worst and it felt like..." JJ shook her head, her own eyes filling with tears. "I just knew I couldn't lose you. I can't. Ok? I'm...yours." With the breath of the last word, JJ pressed her lips briefly to Emily's. The contact was momentary, but it conveyed such a deep tenderness, it caused Emily's heart to ache with want to consume the young woman. There was still a part of her that was hesitant to trust JJ completely, but even it was momentarily silenced by that touch of JJ's lips to hers.

JJ stepped back, her hand still resting on the nape of Emily's neck. She smiled affectionately at Emily, her eyes full of the tenderness spoken in the kiss.

"I love you," she sighed again, and Emily couldn't help it – every fiber of her being believed JJ's words.

"JJ…" Emily breathed, closing her eyes.

JJ smiled, pulling Emily into another kiss. Their lips collided hungrily this time, full of the passion of newly spoken words. Emily's free hand slid around JJ's hips, pressing their bodies together. She felt JJ's teeth catch her bottom lip, and everything within her caught fire as the young woman tugged, finally pulling away and looking up at Emily, her eyes ablaze.

Emily was surprised at JJ's aggressiveness, and she knew that the petite, proper, former media liaison would be a handful in bed – in the most glorious way.

_Unless she changes her mind._

Emily's insecurities were creeping back into her mind, screaming to be heard over the ecstasy of JJ's kisses.

"JJ," Emily said, breaking the spell and backing away. She needed to protect herself. She believed that JJ loved her, but she couldn't just forget about the past weeks.

"Maybe it'd be better if-"

"I'm not leaving," JJ interrupted her firmly. Emily was slightly taken aback at the blonde's forwardness. "I'm not," JJ repeated shaking her head. "I know I've hurt you, and I've messed things up, and I've been unsure, but I'm not anymore. I know things still aren't perfect and we both have things to work out, but I'm not leaving you."

Emily stared, not quite sure how to respond. She didn't want JJ to leave, but there was fear she just couldn't shake. She'd let herself fall into this trap with JJ too many times already.

"I'm not saying that we can't do this," Emily started, searching for the words as she went. "I just…I think maybe we should both take some time…"

For a second, Emily thought that JJ might cry or protest, but she did neither. Her face drained of emotion and she stared at Emily stonily.

"We should change your bandage," she said suddenly, turning away from Emily and picking up the bag of supplies Emily had gotten from the hospital.

"I…okay," Emily conceded, slightly confused by her change of demeanor, but JJ had already started up the stairs. Wordlessly, Emily followed her into the bathroom, and sat down on the edge of the bathtub while JJ emptied the bag onto the counter.

"Alright," the blonde said, turning and gently helping Emily out of her sling. "You need to take off your shirt."

Emily nodded, and tried to pull her arm out of her sleeve, but gasped in pain.

"Here," JJ said quietly, reaching down to help.

"I have it," Emily didn't want to be at her mercy, but JJ just eased the shirt over her head, and slid it off over her injured shoulder.

Emily saw JJ's eyes flick quickly over her bare chest and shoulders, and her cheeks turned a faint shade of pink as their eyes met for a brief second.

"We might, um…Can you…" JJ gestured awkwardly to Emily's bra strap that ran over the edge of the bandage.

"Yeah," Emily replied, understanding what she wanted. "It comes off here…" She tried to unhook the strap from the front part of her bra, but was unable to get it with one hand. "Can you…?"

Silently, JJ moved forward. Her fingertips brushed Emily's skin as she unhooked the strap and let it fall down the brunette's bare back. Emily gasped softly, as unintended intimacy of the contact sent a shiver down her spine.

"Oh sorry," JJ apologized immediately, pulling her hands away. "Did I hurt you?" She was completely unaware of the effect the brief touch of her fingers had just had on the older woman.

Emily shook her head, avoiding JJ's eyes. "Er, no, you're fine."

JJ didn't respond, just frowned slightly as she began to remove the old bandages from Emily's shoulder. Her touch was gentle, and it was obvious to Emily that she was a mother, used to caring for her son's injuries. It was in moments like this when Emily couldn't help but love her fiercely.

_You're just being careful_, she reminded herself as she tore her eyes away from JJ's hands. _There's no crime in not wanting to get hurt again._

"Ok, I'm supposed to clean it," JJ said, as the last of the bandage fell away. "This might sting some," she warned, picking up one of the alcohol swabs that the doctor had thrown in the bag with the bandages.

Emily winced hard as JJ touched the wipe to her wound.

"I'm sorry," JJ frowned, seeing the look on Emily's face. "I'm almost done, I promise."

Emily nodded and watched as JJ finished cleaning her shoulder and worked carefully to wrap it back up with clean gauze.

_Why do her hands have to be so perfect?_ Emily admired the gentle fingers, doing delicate work. Her eyes travelled up JJ's arms, taking in every perfect inch of the young woman's body. They rested on JJ's face, scrunched adorably in deep concentration, and Emily knew it was no use.

"JJ," she started.

"There," JJ said, finishing with taping the bandage in place and ignoring Emily's words. "All set." She began to put all the materials back in the bag. "I'll get you a t-shirt," she said, without looking at Emily and quickly moving out to Emily's room.

She came back holding one of Emily's old Yale t-shirts. "Here."

Emily rolled her eyes as JJ helped her into the shirt, working it carefully over Emily's injured arm. With the t-shirt on, Emily was able to slip her bra the rest of the way off from underneath.

"Thank you," she said gratefully, looking up at JJ who just gave her a quick nod before turning back around to finish cleaning up the counter.

"Um," Emily started, hoping the obvious attempt at speech would prompt JJ to turn around. When it didn't, Emily spoke again. "JJ," she said, trying to draw her attention.

"I know!" JJ said loudly, whirling around to face her. "I know. I'm leaving." She placed the bag of bandages and supplies at the end of the counter and started toward the stairs.

"JJ," Emily called, standing up and hurrying to the top of the staircase. "_JJ!"_

The young woman stopped on the last stair, frozen with her back towards Emily. Slowly, she turned to face her, tears still streaming from her bright blue eyes.

"Stay," Emily said. It was a request, a command, a plea all in one.

JJ looked stunned, but she started back up the stairs, wiping her eyes as she went. Emily's heart ached with the most terrifying love as she waited for her to reach the top. Taking JJ's hand with her free arm, Emily led her into the bedroom.

Wordlessly, the two women climbed into Emily's bed. Settling down next to each other, Emily rolled onto her side, pulling JJ's arm over her so that the woman was fitted against her back.

"I love you."

The words had somehow slipped out from the cracks in the walls Emily kept around her heart. She hadn't meant to speak them out loud, not yet anyway, but somehow the feeling of JJ pressed next to her made her crumble.

She felt JJ smile against her shoulder. Emily turned back slightly, and the blonde pushed herself up on her elbow to look down into Emily's face.

"I've loved you for such a long time," Emily choked out, her voice filling with tears as she stared up into JJ's gentle gaze.

"I know," JJ said softly, wiping a stray tear as it escaped from the corner of Emily's eye. "I know."

Emily pulled JJ's mouth to hers, needing to feel her, to taste her, consume her. The kiss was hungry, fierce with Emily's desire for healing, though simultaneously filled with her persistent fears.

They both broke away after a few seconds, their eyes catching on one another, affirming all the unspoken words said with that kiss. Silently, both women moved back down, settling into one another again. Emily felt JJ press her lips against her shoulder, and she closed her eyes, allowing herself to succumb to JJ's embrace, and finally, sleep.

…~…


	14. Chapter 14: A Family Affair

A/N: THANK YOU ALL FOR WAITING! I'm very sorry about the long wait between chapters, and I truly appreciate all the messages from people asking and encouraging me about the update. I promise the chapters will come, but I'm a student and I work, so sometimes it will take awhile. So, for those of you who haven't given up, here you go! Enjoy. And I promise you won't have to wait nearly as long for the next chapter.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14: "A Family Affair"<strong>

Emily awoke slowly, the kind of waking up where dreams blend with reality, and there are a few short seconds where you're not sure what's real. The scent of JJ filled her senses, and laying there with her eyes closed Emily prayed that it wasn't just a memory from her dreams.

She felt a stir against her, and very slowly Emily opened her eyes and rolled over to face the smiling woman beside her.

"Morning," JJ murmured, smiling sleepily.

It was all Emily could do not to cry. She could still hardly believe this was real. "I…" She shook her head, afraid that if she continued tears would overwhelm her.

"I know," JJ soothed, seeming to read Emily's mind. "I was afraid I was still dreaming." Emily smiled at the gentle blue of JJ's eyes that were staring at her with such affection. She reached up and tangled her fingers in JJ's soft golden hair – hair that somehow after a night's sleep still looked perfect – and pulled the young woman's face to hers. Their lips met, slowly and tenderly at first, but very quickly opening into something more as Emily pressed her body to JJ, longing to feel JJ's pores consume her own, to merge themselves into one.

It was the pain in her shoulder that caused Emily to pull away, wincing.

"Your shoulder?" JJ asked, her eyes clouding with concern. "I'm sorry Em, I didn't even think…"

"It's fine, I forgot too," Emily said, carefully lifting herself into a sitting position.

JJ followed suit and glancing down, Emily couldn't help but admire JJ's bare legs that were tangled up in her sheets.

"What do you want for breakfast?" JJ asked, drawing Emily's eyes back to her face, a no less admirable feature of her body. "You need to eat something so you can take a pain pill."

"Oh I can get food," Emily said, trying to scratch an elusive itch under her bandages. She didn't want JJ to feel like she _had_ to stay with her.

"You shouldn't scratch," JJ said gently taking her hand away from her shoulder. "And I know that you _can_, Emily, but I _want_ to make you breakfast."

Emily knew from JJ's tone that the blonde had caught her putting up walls.

"Okay," she said reluctantly, feeling slightly guilty about her instinctive defenses. She wanted to be able to trust JJ effortlessly, but she just wasn't there yet.

"Come on," the blonde said, hopping down from the bed and pulling on Emily's FBI sweatpants. "I'll make you my specialty." Emily couldn't help but smile despite herself as she allowed JJ to help her down and lead her downstairs.

JJ's "specialty" turned out to be a piece of bread, toasted with an egg cooked in the middle.

"Henry calls it the Flying Saucer," she smiled as she set the dish in front of Emily. "Although when he says it, it sounds more like Flying Shawsher." Emily laughed at JJ's impression of her son, and as she did so, wholly loved the way JJ's face lit up as she talked about him.

"Oh!" JJ exclaimed, suddenly standing up. "I forgot your pain pill." She ran upstairs and returned with the small bottle the doctor had given Emily at the hospital.

"I can get your prescription filled and bring it by this afternoon," JJ said, unscrewing the top and placing one of the large capsules on the table next to Emily's plate. "You should have your bandage changed anyway."

Emily watched the blonde fuss, and figured it would be a losing battle anyway if she tried to protest. She wasn't sure she wanted to anyway, because having JJ around was too perfect to let go.

JJ tended to Emily's shoulder, then scampered back up the stairs to shower quickly and change her clothes. Emily walked into her bedroom and flipped through the clothes in her closet for something to wear. She listened to the water running, noticing the sound of JJ's movements through the wall. In the moment, she was overwhelmed with a desire to be familiar with those movements, to know the routine that made up the blonde woman's showers.

_I want to know everything about her,_ Emily thought as she pulled out a loose sweater to throw over her jeans. The loose top was relatively easy to pull on over her injured shoulder, and just as she was straightening it, she heard the water shut off and JJ step out of the shower.

Feeling for some reason slightly embarrassed, Emily hurried downstairs. She felt like her proximity to the bathroom would give away the fact that she had been entertaining thoughts of JJ showering.

Minutes later, the younger woman descended the stairs, her wet hair tied back in a loose ponytail.

"You mange okay?" She asked, and Emily realized she was talking about her getting dressed on her own.

"Yeah," Emily waved. "It was fine."

JJ smiled and nodded. "Good. So, I was thinking maybe I would come back tonight and bring you your pain meds, maybe make you dinner?"

Emily loved the sound of that, but didn't really want JJ to know just how keen she was on the idea.

"JJ, I'll really be fine," she said, trying to brush off JJ's offer.

The blonde gave her a pointed look. "I'm coming back, regardless of what you say," she said, taking the seat opposite Emily at the kitchen table. "I just have to…" she trailed off, looking like she was deep in some thought.

"It's fine," Emily repeated, trying to cut into whatever was consuming JJ's mind at the moment. "I know you wanted to see Henry and-"

"Well," JJ started, interrupting Emily but speaking slowly and deliberately. She looked slightly nervous. "I was thinking, I could actually bring Henry with me." JJ watched Emily carefully for a reaction. "That way I could make you dinner and…"

"You don't need to do that, Jayj," Emily shook her head. "I'm not going to interrupt your time with your son when I'm more than capable of taking care of myself for a few hours."

"It wouldn't be a problem, really," JJ protested, but Emily's response was interrupted by the doorbell.

"Hang on," Emily said as she stood up and went to the door.

_Oh shit._ She could see the vague figure of her mother through the glass. _What day is it? Is it Sunday? _Emily tried very hard not to panic as she counted all the things that she would have changed if she would've remembered that today was "lunch with her mother" day. _Getting shot, JJ being here, not remembering that we had scheduled this lunch…scheduling this lunch at all…_

"Hello Mother," Emily said, forcing a smile on her face as she opened the door. This was going to be painful enough, without the added pain in her shoulder.

"Emily!" Ambassador Prentiss exclaimed, looking immediately shocked at seeing Emily's arm in a sling. "What…what happened to you?"

"Oh just…a case," Emily tried to sound casual as she leaned in to exchange a quick kiss on the cheek. "Please come in, Mother."

The Ambassador stepped inside, looking around uncomfortably. "Well, Emily if you're not well then perhaps we should-" Something over Emily's shoulder caused her to stop speaking abruptly. Turning around, Emily saw that JJ had emerged from the kitchen.

"Oh, Mother, you remember-"

"Agent Jareau." The Ambassador's voice was icy and her dark eyes flashed in JJ's direction. "Of course."

Emily's mouth dropped open slightly as she glanced from JJ to her nearing openly hostile mother. It hadn't even occurred to her that the last time her mother and JJ saw each other was not years ago when the Ambassador had come to the BAU for help on a case, but at Emily's own funeral a few months ago.

"Um, yes, well…"

"Nice to see you, Ambassador," JJ stepped forward into the foyer, seeming to regain her composure after the initial shock of Elizabeth's cold demeanor. "I was just leaving," she smiled courteously at the Ambassador and turned to Emily. "I'll get your prescription and call you later about tonight."

Emily nodded, trying to apologize to JJ silently. JJ smiled and squeezed her arm, seeming to say she understood, and with another quick nod in the Ambassador's direction, JJ hurried out the door.

"Mother, really-" Emily turned toward Elizabeth as the front door closed behind JJ.

"What?" Emily was silenced by the emotion evident in her mother's eyes. "What, Emily?" The Ambassador repeated. "That woman has never apologized to me, and quite frankly even if she did I'm not sure I'd care to hear it."

Emily stared at her mother, caught between emotions of wanting to defend JJ and heartache at realizing the kind of pain she must've gone through when Emily "died."

"Mother, I'm sorry," Emily shook her head, not quite sure how to act. With anyone else's parents, they probably would have hugged, wept on each other's shoulders months ago, spilled out constant professions of love. But Emily and her mother had never had that kind of relationship. Always practical, rational and dignified – _that's _how Prentiss's behaved.

Even expressing this much emotion, given that it was anger primarily, was uncomfortable for them. Ambassador Prentiss shook her head.

"Don't apologize Emily, it's not your place. Now," she cleared her throat and drawing herself together. "Do you feel well enough for lunch?"

"I…yes," Emily said, shaking her head free of any emotional confessions she was about to share with her mother. This just might be how their reconciliation was going to go.

…

JJ sighed as she stepped through the front door of her own house, dreading the impending conversation with Will, while still dwelling on the uncomfortable encounter with Emily's mother.

_What did you expect? That she'd be happy to see you?_ JJ rolled her eyes and dropped her purse on the kitchen table. Of course Emily's mother would hate her. The woman who never showed emotion had sobbed on JJ's shoulder after Emily's funeral. It was just like Spencer – just like everyone else – JJ had stood there and in her comforting, she lied to them.

"JJ?" Will's voice came floating down from upstairs. "That you?"

"Yeah," JJ called wearily, heading toward the stairs.

"Mommy!" Before she could even start her ascent, a tiny blonde-haired boy came barreling down.

"Henry!" JJ scolded, catching her son as he flew down the last few steps. "What did we tell you about running on the stairs?"

"I don't know," Henry smiled bashfully, burying his head in his mother's shoulder.

"Oh you don't know, huh?" JJ couldn't help but succumb to the boy's adorable charm. "You don't _know?_" She laid kisses across his face before setting him gently down on the floor and looking up at Will, who was coming down the stairs.

"We're about to have lunch," the man offered, clearly inviting JJ to stay. They hadn't interacted much since JJ told Will they should separate, and she wasn't quite sure what was going on in his mind.

"Masharoni!" Henry yelled, tugging JJ's hand as he tried to get her to follow him into the kitchen.

"So, I was thinking," Will started as they sat down to eat, and JJ held her breath, really hoping this wasn't going to be something she didn't want to hear. "Some of the guys are going on a camping trip this week, on Tuesday, and I think I'm gonna go."

"Ok, that sounds fun!" JJ exhaled, just glad that Will wasn't going to try to talk about them.

"You'll be okay with Henry?" Will asked, and immediately annoying JJ despite the innocent question.

"Yeah, we'll be fine." She stood up and went to wash the pan that had held the macaroni, while Henry left to go play outside.

Will nodded. "Ok. You, uh, you gonna stay for dinner tonight?"

"Actually," JJ looked down at the pan she was rinsing. "I was thinking about taking Henry with me to Emily's for dinner."

"Why would you do that." It was more of a statement than a question and JJ knew Will did not like the suggestion.

"Well," she began slowly, "Emily took a hit through the shoulder in California, so I told her I'd cook for her tonight. I thought maybe Henry would like to see her."

"So you can make time to take care of Emily but not to come home to your own family?"

JJ dropped the pan in the sink and shut off the water, turning angrily to face Will.

"I don't know what you think you're saying," she snapped at him, gritting her teeth, "But we have _talked_ about this."

"Well, that's the thing JJ," Will countered, growing almost just as angry as she was. "We haven't really talked about it. You said whatever you wanted and then left. _We_," He motioned to the space between them, "never talked about anything."

"Fine," JJ said, throwing her hands up. "Go. What. Say whatever you have to say."

"Oh that's productive, isn't it," Will drawled sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"No, the thing is, Will," JJ said, trying to calm herself down, "is that we've been through all this stuff a hundred times before. We've done the fight and leave and come home and promise to work it out. But we never do. Because it can't be worked out. And frankly, I don't see what more there is to discuss."

"You're right," Will said, slamming the dishtowel down on the counter. "Fuck it, JJ, you're right as always. What say do I get when it comes to my son? You're the one with all the right answers."

"Will, that's not what I meant-"

"No, please! By all means. Do what you think is best." The man turned and strode out the front door.

Sighing angrily, JJ turned and pushed out the back door to where Henry was kicking a little soccer ball around in the yard.

"Hey Little Man," JJ called, causing the little boy to change his course and come charging at her. "Why isn't your coat zipped up?" She asked as his puffy winter jacket flapped behind him as he ran towards her.

"I don't like it that way."

"Oh okay. Well here," JJ reached down and adjusted Henry's gloves. "At least keep these on your hands."

The boy waited patiently as she fixed both his gloves.

"Where's Daddy?" he asked suddenly, looking toward the house. "Is he gonna come be the goalie?"

JJ smiled, trying to keep the sadness out of her voice as she answered him. "Daddy had to go run some errands, so he can't be goalie now," she said, absentmindedly going to zip up Henry's coat.

"Mommy, no, I don't want it," Henry's little hands obstructed her way and JJ pulled back.

"Ok, sorry. Hey Henry," she said before her son could run back out into the yard. "How would you like to go see Emily tonight? And have dinner there?"

"We just ate lunch though," the little boy said, looking confused.

"Oh I know, but later I mean," JJ smiled at him.

"Will Jack be there?" Henry apparently associated any of JJ's coworkers with the others.

"Not today, it would just be us and Emily."

"Oh," Henry seemed to be thinking it over in his head. "Why?"

JJ laughed. "Emily got hurt so I want to make her some food to make her feel better."

"Get better food?" Henry's eyes lit up. 'Get better food' is what he called chicken noodle soup and crackers that JJ always made him when he was sick.

"Something like that," JJ smiled at him. "You'd be okay with that?"

"Yeah!" Henry yelled, already running back towards the soccer ball, as if understanding that his mother was needed wherever there was someone not feeling well.

JJ followed him into the yard, threatening to steal the ball away, chasing slowly him as he giggled, trying not to trip over the ball at his feet. She couldn't help but feel slightly nervous about bringing her son around Emily. It was like the true test of the possibility of their having a future together.

…

Emily was laying on the couch with Sergio, trying not to overanalyze the uncomfortable hour spent earlier with her mother over lunch and avoiding thinking about the potentially uncomfortable hours to come when JJ showed up with Henry.

It wasn't that Emily didn't love that kid – she absolutely did. He was one of the sweetest little boys on the planet. And the fact that he had his mother's big blue eyes and golden hair didn't hurt one bit. But it didn't stop Emily from feeling like she needed to really connect with him. If she was going to be with JJ, then Henry came along as part of the package. Emily just hoped she didn't disappoint JJ.

The doorbell rang, and Emily moved from the couch, causing Sergio to jump unhappily down.

"Hey," Emily greeted a slightly harried looking JJ with an armful of groceries.

"Hey," JJ breathed, ushering Henry inside before her. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, but this thing itches like a motherfu…" Emily trailed off, remembering that Henry was standing right there.

_Nice, Prentiss. Real parental. _

"Um, it itches," Emily coughed, turning bright red and looking nervously up at JJ who was, to her relief, suppressing a laugh.

"It's fine," JJ smiled at her, as they walked back to the kitchen. She set the groceries on the counter.

"You broke your arm?" Henry piped up, looking bashfully from beside JJ. He had been around Emily plenty of times, but it was always in the company of the other BAU members and Jack Hotchner, and for some reason being around Emily alone was bring out a shyness JJ didn't know her son possessed.

"No, not exactly," Emily explained, smiling down at him as JJ moved to unload some of the food and prepare for dinner. She glanced up at JJ, as if asking for permission to tell the boy what really happened, and JJ nodded approvingly.

"My shoulder got hurt, see," Emily explained, kneeling down and sliding her arm out of the sling. She was wearing a sweater over a tank top, so she moved the sweater off her shoulder to reveal the bandage.

"It got stabbed?" Henry suggested again, stepping closer to Emily to get a better look.

"No," Emily laughed at the little boy's curiosity. "I got hit with a bullet." Immediately, the blue eyes widened.

"A bullet?" Henry breathed, obviously impressed. "From a gun?"

"Yes, from a gun," Emily nodded, putting the sleeve back over the wound.

"Did it hurt?" the little boy asked, looking up at Emily.

"A little bit, but not too bad," she assured him.

"We brought get better food," Henry told her authoritatively, and Emily wasn't quite sure what that meant, but she smiled gratefully anyway. "And my mom will kiss it, she does that sometimes," Henry continued, rocking back on his heels and spinning away from Emily adorably.

"Oh does she?" Emily asked, raising an eyebrow at a very pink JJ who was standing at the stove.

"Yeah, it helps most of the time."

"Most of the time!" JJ looked taken aback. "You told me it _always _helps!" Henry laughed, running to his mother and clinging to her leg.

"It does!" He squealed and Emily couldn't help but smile at how much alike the two of them were.

"What can I do to help, Jayj?" Emily asked, standing up and joining the pair at the stove.

"Nothing, you're injured," JJ said shooting her a grin. "That's why I'm here."

"Nothing?" Emily hated feeling useless.

"Okay," the blonde conceded, shaking Henry off her leg. "Help this little guy set the table."

Henry smiled up at Emily and let her lead him to the cabinet with the plates. She handed him one at a time and let him carry them to the table.

"Where's the cat?" Henry asked suddenly, as he was laying a fork beside each plate.

"Sergio?" Emily smiled at him as she brought napkins to the table.

"Yeah, him," Henry nodded looking around. "Where's him?"

"He's around here somewhere," Emily replied, also looking for a sign of her cat. "He needs to eat though, do you want to go find him?"

Henry didn't say anything, but slowly set out peering around furniture in Emily's living room.

His movements were so much like his mother, it was all Emily could do not go wrap her arms around JJ and lay a kiss on her. Glancing back at the slender woman standing at the stove, Emily couldn't help but feel out of place. Things with Henry were going well – _They'd better be, they've only been here 15 minutes_ – but all this 'happy family' stuff put Emily on edge. She'd never been the type, in fact, by this point she'd pretty much decided that motherhood wasn't in the cards for her. Not to mention it wasn't like things with JJ were rock-solid anyway. Emily still had some pretty significant fears that JJ might decide the lesbian moms thing wasn't for her and head back to Will.

"Almost done," JJ said, turning from the stove and catching Emily staring. "You okay?" She frowned, and Emily realized some of the anxiety must be showing on her face.

"Yeah!" She exclaimed, smiling quickly. "I was just…thinking."

JJ nodded, obviously not wholly convinced.

"I couldn't find'im." Henry returned from his expedition around Emily's condo, his arms up in a shrug.

"Oh I bet he's upstairs," Emily said apologetically, and was about to offer Henry to go up there when JJ came carrying a salad bowl to the table.

"The lasagna's almost done," she announced, setting the salad down.

"Lasagna?" Emily was impressed.

"It was frozen," JJ winked at her. "But you have a few minutes if you need to go find Sergio. I'm going to throw some garlic bread in the oven."

Henry looked expectantly up at Emily, who smiled and led him up the stairs. They found Sergio snoozing on her bed, and upon seeing the cat, Henry got suddenly bashful. Emily carried him downstairs, after letting Henry pet him and tell him it was time for dinner. Sergio seemed less than amused, but Emily was grateful for his cooperation at least.

_Treats for you later, Serg_, Emily thought, setting the cat down in front of his food bowl. _Thanks for helping me score points with the…step-son?_ Oh god, would she be Henry's step-mother? If things between her and JJ progressed enough, it seemed that's exactly what she'd be. Suddenly the whole thing seemed very overwhelming.

"Just in time," JJ smiled, as she pulled the hot pan of lasagna out of the oven. "Did you find the cat, Little Man?"

"Yeah he was sleeping on the bed," Henry said seriously as he sat himself at the table. "He didn't know it was dinner time."

Emily smiled at him affectionately, and looked up to catch JJ giving her a similar look.

"Er, do you need help?" she asked, wanting to put as much distance between herself and that moment as possible.

"I've got it," JJ said. "Go ahead and sit down."

Emily turned and sat herself on the other side of Henry, as JJ began portioning out the meal. She sat, and the three began eating in silence.

"Where's Will tonight?" Emily asked between bites.

JJ shook her head. "Not sure. He said he was staying with a friend so that I could stay at the house with Henry."

Emily nodded and glanced up at the small boy sitting across the table.

"Daddy has a sleepover," Henry confirmed to Emily.

"That's right," JJ gave him a small smile before turning back to Emily. "He's going out of town on Tuesday, camping or something. So it'll be just me and this guy," she turned and gave a beaming Henry a wink, "for the next week."

"Okay," Emily nodded. "Let me know if you need help though, yeah?"

JJ nodded gratefully, and they continued eating.

After dinner, JJ changed Emily's bandage while Henry watched, fascinated.

"It's a bullet hole?" He kept asking, hopping around trying to see around JJ.

"Henry, shh," JJ tried to shoo him away as she rubbed an alcohol swab over the wound, causing Emily to inhale sharply.

"Stings every time," the brunette said, shaking her head.

"Sorry," JJ offered her an apologetic smile. "It should be feeling better though soon…"

"Kiss it," Henry instructed, quite matter-of-fact, as JJ began wrapping the clean gauze around Emily's shoulder.

Their eyes met for a brief second, and Emily wasn't sure what JJ was going to do. The blonde smiled softly before looking away to her son.

"Kiss it, huh? Why don't you do it?"

"Well…" Henry frowned, as if unsure that his kisses held the same magic as his mother's. "No," he announced after a few seconds of thought, catching both women off guard. "It only works if you do!" He skipped away, wandering around the kitchen evidently searching for Sergio.

Emily looked up at JJ, who raised her eyebrows and shrugged, as if resigned to the infallible wisdom of her four-year-old son. Her honey-colored hair fell forward, brushing Emily's forearm, as JJ leaned in to lay a light kiss on top of the fresh bandage. Emily was surprised at how much she longed for the heat of those lips on her skin. Somewhat embarrassed by her immediate reaction, Emily's cheeks flushed pink as JJ pulled back and stared into her eyes.

"Better?" She asked, teasing slightly. Emily tried to force a laugh, but her own mind was tangled up in desire for JJ and an intricate web of complex feelings regarding their new relationship.

"You should be all set til tomorrow night," JJ said, giving Emily a wink and standing up. "The doctor said you can stop changing it as often after the first few days."

"I still have to wear the sling though," Emily grumbled, adjusting her sweater back over her shoulder.

"Just until Wednesday," JJ reminded her, her voice near scolding. "You should be fine after that." She replaced the bandages back in the bag and set it on the counter.

"C'mon Henry," JJ called and the small boy emerged from the bathroom off the front hallway.

"I can't find Serjo," he said disappointed as he trudged back into the dining area where JJ was waiting.

"Oh, he goes to bed really early," Emily consoled him. "You'll have to come back some time when he's less tired." Henry seemed to like the sound of that, and looked up expectantly at his mother, who gave him a kind nod. She smiled gratefully at Emily.

"Now what do you say to Emily?"

"Thank you," Henry said resuming his unusual shyness from earlier. Emily smiled at him and stood, as JJ began to gather their things.

"Thank _you_," the brunette whispered to JJ as they made their way to the door. JJ nodded, looking affectionately at Emily.

"Of course. I'm happy to do it." She leaned in and gave Emily a small kiss on the cheek. "I'll call you in the morning to see how things are."

"I'll be _fine_," Emily insisted, secretly glad that JJ was so intent on caring for her.

"Hm," JJ nodded skeptically as she gave Emily's hand a quick squeeze and followed Henry out the door.

…

Over the next few days Emily saw JJ and Henry periodically. They stopped over on Tuesday night for JJ to change her bandage, and Emily ate dinner with them on Wednesday night. It was nice – not too much, but enough to make Emily feel much more comfortable around JJ and her son. It threw her off guard, how much she craved this family time.

At the same time, Emily was somewhat glad that Will had chosen to make himself scarce this week, because it was keeping JJ busy and preventing things between them from moving too quickly and getting out of control. Emily needed them to move slowly, and she knew that JJ did too. JJ had told her how things had been somewhat rough with Will, and Emily knew that was not making things easier for JJ. Or her, as it constantly filled her with anxiety that JJ might just decide it all wasn't worth it. So Emily was careful to maintain some kind of distance. Although that didn't stop her from itching with desire every time she laid eyes on the blonde woman.

On Thursday, two days into Will's camping trip, Emily woke up to a text that the team had a case. She hoped JJ's parents were awake, because she had a feeling they'd be taking Henry while their daughter went out of town. The fact that she worried about arrangements for Henry or automatically thought of JJ every time anything happened unnerved Emily a little bit. She just wasn't used to being _so_ caught up in her feelings for another person.

"Hey no sling!" Garcia called as Emily strode into the office, preparing herself mentally for the case. She hadn't heard from JJ that morning, so she was also worried that maybe things with Henry had been a bit more complicated.

"What? Oh yeah," Emily shook her head, realizing what Penelope was referring to. "Yeah, I could've stopped yesterday, but I thought I'd be on the safe side."

Garcia nodded. "Well, hate to do this first thing, but - case time." Emily nodded and continued to the conference room.

She walked in to see JJ already seated at the table, knocking back a 5 Hour Energy shot. The young woman looked even more exhausted than she had the night before, when Emily had come over for dinner with her and Henry.

"Oh you're not playing around," Emily said, drawing JJ's attention. Garcia came trailing in behind the older profiler and looked at JJ with equal concern.

"Mm, yeah," JJ nodded, swallowing the rest of the shot. "Will's away all week, so I'm pulling double duty with Henry," she explained to Garcia, glancing at quickly at Emily, who feigned mild surprise.

"Oh please tell me we are still all on for Saturday night," Garcia groaned, causing Emily to remember that they had planned a Girl's Night Out for that Saturday. She had totally forgotten. "Because I have had it circled on my calendar for the last twenty-three and a half days," the technical analyst continued, watching JJ's face as it became clear that the blonde had not remembered either.

"Which," Garcia continued as she took a seat at the table, "from the look of you, you did not."

JJ stared helplessly at Emily, who couldn't help but smile.

"Ooh, Garcia paid good money for those Salsa lessons," she shrugged at JJ, who flashed her a grimace and a look that said she clearly did not appreciate Emily's "help."

"I'll get a sitter," JJ assured Penelope, shooting Emily another look.

Their conversation was interrupted by the entrance of the rest of the team. "Let's get started," Hotch announced, prompting Garcia to pull out the remote and begin the briefing.

"Ok, Atlanta field office has a serial on their hands," the blonde woman explain, flashing two pictures up on the screen. "Two prostitutes stabbed and staged in the last two weeks."

"It's rare for an unsub who targets prostitutes to pose the bodies," JJ commented, glancing at the photos on the projector screen. "Usually the means of disposal reflects how the person feels towards them."

"Looks like he didn't think poorly of his victims," Rossi seemed to agree with JJ's statement. "He even kept them dressed."

"It could be personal," Emily added. "There's a lot of rage in these kills. Multiple stab wounds."

"What about sexual violations?" Rossi asked.

"No," Hotch replied, glancing up from the file in front of him. "The M.E.'s report says there's no evidence of sexual activity before death."

"So what is he doing with them?" Garcia interjected, looking thoroughly disgusted.

"That's what we need to find out," Hotch remarked, pushing himself up from his chair. "Wheel's up in twenty."

As the rest of the team filed out of the room, Emily leaned toward JJ.

"Are you doing okay?" She asked quietly, worried about JJ's stress level and exhaustion over the past few days. "We don't have to go out on Saturday if you don't want to…"

"No," JJ shook her head. "I'm good. And I _want_ to go salsa dancing. You, a dress, tequila…yeah, I'm not missing that." She stood up and gave Emily a wink before hurrying out of the room, leaving the brunette sitting shocked. She couldn't believe JJ had just said that! _With that look on her face…_ Emily's mouth practically watered at the look of hunger that had darkened JJ's blue eyes moments before. Maybe Saturday would be the night…Well, she couldn't think about that now. Grabbing her tablet, Emily went to go gather her things and head to the jet.

…

JJ sat across from Emily on the plane and she could feel the older woman watching her most of the flight. She knew Emily was concerned about her well-being, and she welcomed that. She also had the feeling that her earlier comment had intrigued her colleague, and she liked the feeling that came with that as well.

More than once during the briefing on the plane their eyes caught on each other's, and JJ had to tear hers away before she felt like they were disappearing into their own little world. If they weren't careful, the rest of the team was going to know something was up.

"Both of the victims had $250 on them when they were found," Emily spoke, causing JJ to look up from her tablet and meet the deep brown eyes. "Why wouldn't the unsub take that?"

"That's a lot to pass up," Rossi spoke, thankfully drawing JJ's gaze away from Emily's dark eyes. "Money must not be on his mind."

"Dumping the bodies certainly is," JJ commented, staring back down at the crime scene photos in front of her. "He chose two different parks outside of Atlanta." She glanced around at her teammates, falling back on Emily before quickly looking down.

JJ was quite aware of the sexual tension that had been building between them since…well, months ago really. But now that they had kissed, shared a bed, and discussed their feelings, it was all the more present. JJ knew she'd said she wanted to take things slow – and she did – but she couldn't deny that she'd been craving the feel of Emily's body.

_Maybe Salsa dancing isn't such a good idea_, she thought, trying to push the image of Emily's swaying hips out of her mind.

"Hey guys," Garcia's face popping up on the video screen pulled JJ out of her fantasy. "I hate to be the messenger of sad things, but yet another body has been discovered by some joggers at yet another park. Her name is Rebecca Moore and get this: a missing persons report was filed on her."

"Who filed it?" Emily asked, frowning at Garcia through the computer.

"Her friend, Alison Parker."

"Prentiss, you and JJ go talk to Alison, see if she has any insight on why Rebecca was targeted," Hotch commanded and the two women exchanged a quick glance. "Morgan and Reid, go to the disposal site, Dave and I will set up at the field office."

They all nodded and JJ couldn't help but feel a mixture of nervousness and pure joy at being paired with Emily. Although their relationship had scarcely started, and no one else on the team knew, JJ felt like they needed to prove that they could still work well together, even if they were only proving it to themselves.

…

Emily and JJ found Rebecca's friend Alison downtown, after asking a few other women working on the street.

"Alison Parker?" Emily called to a woman occupying the corner one of the other prostitutes had indicated. The brown-haired woman nodded as the two agents approached.

"We're very sorry for your loss," JJ said as they came to a stop in front of her. The woman just stared back at them, her jaw set defiantly.

"How long were you and Rebecca friends?" Emily asked, hoping to warm the young woman up to the idea of talking to two FBI agents.

"Three years," she answered, her voice shaky, and Emily realized what she had first taken to be anger at them was more likely anguish at the loss of a good friend and coworker.

"You two had each other's back," Emily's voice softened. "That's why you filed a report?"

Alison nodded. "It was almost two days. I thought she was at the police station." She shifted uncomfortably. "Getting locked up is better than disappearing with one of them."

"So what made you think something was wrong?" JJ spoke after a few seconds of silence.

"She always came back," Alison said, shaking her head. "Bad as it was, this place was home, you know?"

JJ glanced down, and Emily could see that she felt for this young woman. JJ's display of emotion for friends and family of victims was something that she'd never lost from her days as Media Liason, and it was something that Emily loved about her and the way she did her job.

"Did she have any regular customers?" JJ asked, looking up to meet Alison's eyes again.

"We all do."

"Rebecca had over 250 dollars on her," JJ prompted, changing the subject slightly. This fact seemed to catch Alison's attention.

"She did?" The woman asked, looking from JJ to Emily.

"What would that kind of money get a customer?" Emily asked.

"A lot."

"Like…" JJ hesitated. "All night, or…?"

"Nowadays?" Alison looked JJ over. "Yeah. All night." Emily and JJ exchanged a look.

"We need to take you back to the last time you saw Rebecca," Emily said, wanting to try some memory visualization that might help Alison provide them with clues about the unsub. "Where were you standing?"

"About here," Alison answered, indicating to the spot she was currently occupying and looking slightly unsure about this line of questioning.

"Facing which way?"

"Street," she nodded in towards the road just to her right. "A truck pulled up, he was one of my regulars," Alison continued and Emily and JJ listened intently. "I was talking to him through the window when Rebecca pulled up in a silver beemer."

"Did you recognize the car?" Emily asked.

"No," Alison shook her head, still staring toward the street, apparently concentrating on the memory of that night.

"What did she do after that?" Emily pressed on gently.

"She looked back at me and then started walking down the block," Alison said. "That's the last time I saw her."

JJ looked at Emily, and shook her head, as if to say she didn't think Alison could give them anything.

"Wait a second." Alison, still deep in thought, spoke, capturing the two agents' attention again.

"There was an older gray van," she said growing excited. "I've seen it around here before. It was parked there a long time."

"A van?" JJ frowned. "Where?"

"It parks right there," Alison pointed to a spot a few yards behind them, by a telephone pole with a clearly visible "No Parking" sign attached to it.

"Could you make out a license plate?" Emily asked, turning back to Alison.

"No it was dark," the woman answered, shaking her head.

"How long was it there?" JJ asked, still staring at the spot where the van had been.

"A few hours probably…why?"

"It's a loading zone," JJ said, looking at Emily, who immediately knew they were on the same page. "Permit parking only." Emily nodded in agreement.

"Thank you so much Alison," Emily said softly, laying her hand out on Alison's arm. The woman nodded and JJ gave her a small smile, echoing Emily's thanks, as the two agents turned to head back toward their vehicle.

"So he pays for a night, kills her, but doesn't take the money back?" JJ thought aloud, frowning as they climbed into the black SUV parked at the curb.

Emily shook her head. "I have no idea," she sighed, sliding behind the wheel. "But we should be able to narrow down something from the van and registered permits. Or, Garcia will."

JJ nodded and heaved an equally heavy sigh. She reached across the center console and slid her hand into Emily's, startling the brunette. Emily looked up at her, trying to hide the complete shock on her face. JJ smiled, almost sheepishly, as if she were asking for permission after the fact, and Emily secured her grip on JJ's small hand and pulled away from the curb. Truth be told, Emily didn't mind the affectionate gesture one bit – she loved the way JJ's hand fit in hers, and the physical contact, though unexpected, felt completely natural and comfortable as they drove back to the field office.

Sitting there, holding JJ's hand, Emily wondered what their status was. Her mind traveled back to the thoughts of Saturday night, the possibilities it held…not to mention the past few nights she'd spent hanging out with Henry and JJ…

Her thoughts were interrupted as JJ hung up on the phone. "Garcia didn't find any tickets issued recently for parking violations on that block," she said disappointed. "But she's digging into city permits."

Emily frowned too as they pulled into the parking lot in front of the field office where Hotch and Rossi were just walking through the front doors into the building. Apparently they had just arrived back from the M.E.'s office.

"Hopefully something comes up there," she said, trying desperately to think of a way to narrow down _that_ search.

JJ gave Emily's hand a quick squeeze as she parked the car and the two joined their other team members in the office conference room.

"Alison remembered seeing a van parked on the street the night that Rebecca disappeared," Emily announced as she and JJ entered the room.

"And she'd seen it before," JJ added, as all eyes turned to them. "But get this, it was parked in a loading zone for hours."

"Why don't we check recent tickets?" Agent Brooks, the Atlanta agent on the case, asked from a seat next to Morgan.

"Our analyst already did that," Emily said. "Nothing."

"It's not a residential area, so a vendor maybe…" JJ looked at the rest of their teammates for suggestions. "Garcia's pulling permits now."

Rossi and Morgan traded musings on the fact that all together the unsub had passed up $750 from the cash left on the victims.

"Everything that's done postmortem is all very nurturing," JJ interjected. "But the kills are the exact opposite – incredibly violent and angry."

"Multiple personalities?" Emily asked, looking at JJ.

"Or multiple unsubs," Hotch suggested. "The violent one asserts his dominance and the submissive one is left to clean up the mess."

The team continued to trade theories and information they'd gathered during the day over dinner. One of the most puzzling pieces was the fact that identical bruising patterns had been found on the inner thighs of all three victims. Rossi informed them that the M.E. indicated that they could have been formed by some sort of cylindrical rod, perhaps a kind of restraint.

"What kind of restraint would that be, though?" JJ asked, obviously just as perplexed as the others about the cause of the bruises.

No one had any suggestions, and Spencer stifled an obvious yawn.

"Okay," Hotch broke the silence. "We'll resume at 8am tomorrow. Head to the hotel now, get some rest."

"How's the shoulder?" JJ asked Emily as they made their way to one of the SUVs with Morgan and Reid.

"It's fine," Emily shrugged, not having to lie. For the most part, her injury felt fine, so long as she didn't try any extreme movements with her left arm.

"Need to change the bandage tonight?" JJ asked, and the question combined with her tone brought back the feeling of familiar comfort that Emily had felt earlier in the car.

"Oh maybe," Emily said, sliding into the backseat behind Morgan and Reid. "I think you changed it on Tuesday?"

Looking up, she caught Morgan's eye in the rearview mirror. She quickly averted her eyes, not liking the knowing look on her coworker's face.

"Ok, I can do it tonight," JJ said softly while Reid started chatting to Derek as they pulled out of the parking lot. Emily gave her a quick smile and then turned toward the window, not wanting to give Derek another reason to tease her later.

…

JJ finished wrapping Emily's shoulder, which was looking much better already. She could tell it was still difficult for Emily to move it at certain angles, but as usual, the brunette was going to great lengths to cover up any discomfort in front of other people.

"How's that feel?"

Emily raised her arm, testing out the firmness of the bandage.

"Good. Thank you," she said, looking up at JJ. They stood momentarily, staring at one another. It was as if both of them had been resisting all day and now they couldn't help but to linger on each other and let all the forbidden thoughts come flooding back.

JJ reached out and stroked the side of Emily's face lightly, unable to continue standing there without touching her. Emily's eyes closed briefly at the contact, and the obvious pleasure was all the permission JJ needed. She leaned in and pulled Emily's mouth toward hers, pressing their lips together. The kiss was soft, though quite intentional, and JJ pulled away slowly, taking a seat next to Emily on the bed.

"Can I stay?" She asked, the words coming out in a hoarse whisper that conveyed much more of her desire than she'd intended. Although JJ hadn't meant to imply that she wanted to stay so that they could consummate their relationship, she knew that's what it sounded like, particularly because there had existed an electric tension between them all day.

"Er…" Emily looked uncertain, and averted her eyes down to the bed.

"I didn't-" JJ started to clarify herself quickly. "I just wanted to…be near you. Nothing…else."

"Nothing else?" Emily looked up, a hint of teasing in her voice. JJ just shook her head, more out of bewilderment than an actual response to Emily's question. Of course there was something else, there was always _something_ else, but she knew it was too soon. Plus, she did not want the first time her and Emily slept together (in the Biblical sense) to be while they were on a case, in a hotel down the hall from the rest of their teammates. No, JJ had big plans for that night.

"What are you thinking?"

JJ looked up, slightly startled to see Emily staring at her intently. Apparently her line of thought had manifest itself somehow on her face, and JJ blushed slightly.

"Nothing. I just…It's okay if you don't want me to stay, I know things are…"

"Things are fine," Emily interrupted. "Stay." She stood up and went into the bathroom to brush her teeth. "But you know," she called from the sink, "we do need to be careful." Her head appeared around the corner and she gave JJ a pointed look. "People will talk."

JJ laughed and got up from the bed, walking into the small hotel bathroom and wrapping her arms around Emily's waist while the older woman continued to brush her teeth. JJ laid a light kiss on her injured shoulder and leaned her head against her back.

"I can be discreet," she smiled at Emily in the mirror. The brunette just raised an eyebrow before leaning over to rinse.

"Bedtime," she said, turning and pulling JJ into a one-armed hug before passing her and exiting the bathroom. JJ dug in her own go bag for her toothbrush, and after washing her face, brushing her teeth and slipping into a t-shirt and some old soccer shorts, she went to join Emily in bed.

She loved the way the woman looked, barely clothed, lying in bed…waiting for her. JJ couldn't help the broad grin that spread across her face at the sight.

"What's so funny?" Emily asked, frowning slightly at her.

"Nothing," JJ shook her head as she climbed onto the bed. "Good night," She turned to Emily and kissed her cheek before sliding down under the covers.

"Good night, Jayj," Emily settled down beside her. "Get some rest, yeah?" JJ rolled her eyes, pressing herself into Emily's side. Her hand lay on Emily's stomach, and if she wasn't so completely exhausted from her week with Henry, she might have noticed the firmness of Emily's muscles under her fingertips, the softness of her skin…but JJ was asleep within seconds of her head touching the pillow.

…

The next morning, Emily awoke to JJ tracing circles on her hip. At first she thought the woman was trying to start something, but then she realized JJ was still asleep.

"Hey," Emily whispered, turning her head and placing a light kiss on JJ's forehead. "Good morning."

JJ's eyes fluttered open, and her hand dropped, her palm flat on Emily's stomach again, which didn't help the ticklish sensation spreading through the brunette's body.

"Erm," Emily pushed herself up to a sitting position, needing to break the sensitive contact between them. She didn't know what had happened last night, but somehow the sexual tension had gotten worse, and every touch left her feeling warm in places she…

"We're too late to be the first ones down I think," Emily spoke, trying to keep her mind out of dangerous places. "So maybe we should wait a bit and be slightly late. Or-"

"You can go down first and I'll just wait a few minutes, it's not a big deal," JJ cut her off, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "Don't worry so much about it, Em." She patted Emily's bare thigh reassuringly, but all Emily felt was the electricity from her fingertips.

"Oh, good idea," she said quickly, pushing herself off the bed. "I'm going to jump in the shower then." JJ looked somewhat startled at her sudden movement, but nodded as Emily rushed off to the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Forty-five minutes later, the team was reassembled at the field office. Apparently, there had been another body discovered early that morning and Morgan and Agent Brooks had gone off to the site around 7am. Once they returned, without too much new information, the team delivered their preliminary profile to the local police.

At lunchtime, Garcia called with information on the third victim.

"Julie Harmon was a sexual surrogate," Morgan announced, walking back into the conference room after hanging up with the technical analyst.

"Whooa," Emily reacted, exchanging a look with JJ. "Looks like someone thought a little progressive prescription might fix everything."

"Well they were wrong," JJ drawled, looking back at Morgan and having to stifle a smile at the look on Emily's face.

"A sexual surrogate is a very specific type," Hotch frowned, trying to make sense of the unusual victimology.

"It's like they were trying to fix something," JJ spoke again. "Why else would you call a therapist?"

"They do treat patients with all types of disabilities," Emily added, mostly avoiding JJ's gaze because she knew, no matter how inappropriate, that she might not be able to help breaking out in a smile if their eyes met. "Whether it's developmental, physical or emotional."

"My guess is this guy's got all three," Morgan said, leaning back in his chair. "Let's look at the physical. He's got the upper body strength to stab the victims, but he's using restraints."

"They're not typical restraints though," Rossi broke in, indicating to autopsy photos on the evidence board. "They're tramline bruises on the thighs."

"It's as if the victims were straddling a chair," Reid spoke suddenly and excitedly. "Physical infirmity, strong arms…what if the unsub's in a wheelchair?" He looked up at Hotch.

"That would explain the van parked in the loading zone," JJ added. "Handicap permits grant access all over the city." She stood up and grabbed her phone as Hotch and Rossi nodded in agreement. "I'll call Garcia."

Emily watched as JJ exited the room, trying desperately to not to remember the way those hips felt in her hands… _Good Lord Prentiss, you're acting like a teenager. _She scolded herself, but it was really nothing new when it came to JJ. That woman had an effect on her that no one else had ever been able to muster. And it was frightening and delicious all at the same time.

"We should talk to social workers, physical therapists, anyone who deals directly with the disabled," Hotch's voice brought Emily's eyes back into the room.

"Whoever's helping him has a definite loyalty," Morgan added. "Responsibility even."

"The caregiver could have caused the impairment," Hotch said thoughtfully.

"He's the one who has all the remorse," Rossi agreed, and Emily nodded.

"If that's the case," Emily spoke, "the best way to break up a partnership is to drive a wedge between them."

"And the key to doing that," Morgan leaned in over the table. "Is to tell the caregiver he's forgiven. Give him the strength to leave."

Hotch nodded. "I'll tell Agent Brooks to organize a press conference."

The team watched as JJ spoke to the press. It was difficult for Emily to keep the pure adoration out of her eyes as she watched the young woman. JJ's poise in front of the media pressure was something that had always impressed Emily. And if she was being honest, was one of the things that had initially attracted her to the petite media liaison in her first days with the BAU.

"You can stop this from happening to others by doing the right thing and contacting the Atlanta PD," JJ spoke emphatically, addressing the unsub's partner and caregiver. "If you contact us, we will do everything in our power to help you both. Thank you."

Questions came flying as JJ finished her speech, and she took one or two before stepping down from the podium and directing further questions to the Police Chief.

Her eyes met Emily's as she came back over to join the team.

"Nice job." The words escaped Emily's mouth before she could check herself. JJ raised her eyebrow, as if she knew Emily's comment was more than just a compliment between colleagues.

"We'll have to wait and see," JJ said, turning to the rest of the team.

A few hours went by and they hadn't heard anything. Morgan, Reid, Emily and JJ sat in the conference room reviewing the evidence, trying to come up with something they'd missed.

"Everything about Julie Harmon's murder was different," Morgan said as they sat around the table. "It was the most violent _and_ the most remorseful."

"You're right," Emily nodded, suddenly intrigued. "Julie was wrapped in plastic. It's neat. It's almost too neat."

"Maybe the caretaker is a woman," JJ said, turning to meet Emily's eyes. Emily didn't let the contact last long, because lingering on JJ had only brought her trouble today.

Morgan wasn't so sure about the partner being a woman because of the location and distance from the road where the bodies had been dumped, so they were arriving at the possibility of three unsubs.

"That rarely works," Derek said, frowning.

"You'd have to trust one another completely," Reid interjected. "What kind of relationship involves that kind of dynamic?"

"Incredibly close friends," Morgan offered.

"Or siblings," Emily suggested, looking at the evidence board and wondering what kind of family could be so messed up.

"What if it's parents," JJ spoke from where she was standing in front of the board. "Parents trying to protect their child?" She turned and looked at her teammates. "They raise them, they root for them…" Her eyes met Emily's.

"They would share the same genes," Emily continued, her eyes locked on JJ's blues. "Apples don't fall far from the tree."

"A parent would hold themselves accountable, that explains the guilt," Reid added, momentarily bursting the two women's bubble. They all agreed, and went to go find Rossi and Hotch to share their theory.

A phone call from Garcia revealed that a man named Jeffrey Collins matched their profile and was living with his parents in an Atlanta suburb. He had become paralyzed in a car accident when he was fifteen, according to the police report, his mother was driving, but she didn't have injuries consistent with being behind the wheel, although his father did.

"Let me guess, the father was drunk," Rossi posited at the information.

"Yeah," Garcia answered through the phone. "Twice the legal limit."

"Sounds like the mother fixes things," Hotch said. "She could've manipulated the father into making up for his failure by helping with the bodies."

"I'm sending you the address," Garcia called, and the team hung up and headed to the cars.

The while thing ended not two hours later with both Jeffrey Collins' parents dead – his father wrapping his car around a telephone pole while the team was on their way to the Collins' residence, and his mother was shot in a showdown at the house. Jeff was arrested.

Emily was exhausted just thinking about it. Thankfully, Hotch let them return to the hotel for the night before flying back to Quantico the next morning. Emily was doubly thankful because it meant one more night with JJ in her arms before returning to their respective homes, where for some reason everything seemed so much more complicated.

The next morning, they boarded the jet and took off at 9am.

"Oh," Emily didn't like the look on JJ's face as she hung up the phone. She took the seat across from the blonde and looked at her apologetically. "Still no sitter?"

JJ sighed and rubbed her forehead. "My sitter is not available…Apparently I have a better chance of winning the lottery than getting a sitter on a Saturday night." The stress was evident in JJ's voice and it pained Emily that there wasn't anything she could do. She was on the verge of offering to watch Henry herself and just let JJ and Garcia have the night out, when Reid piped up.

"What's going on tonight?"

"It was ladies night but-"

"_I _forgot to book a sitter," JJ said bitterly, not meeting Emily's eyes.

"I'll do it," the young doctor looked up from the book he was reading. Emily scoffed and glanced at JJ.

"Spence," JJ rolled her eyes.

"What? I've seen that episode of _Mr. Belvedere_," Reid defended himself as if seeing a TV show qualified one to take care of a child.

"You've never babysat by yourself before," JJ reminded him, still looking incredulous.

"Well…" Emily looked from Reid to JJ. "I mean, he could do a couple hours…" JJ gaped at her.

"What could possibly go wrong?" Spencer asked, still looking as though watching Henry was akin to feeding a fish. JJ stared at him, then looked back to Emily, a slightly pained expression on her face.

"If you think so…"

"It'll be fine," Emily assured her, trying to quell the selfish excitement that she would get to be Salsa dancing with JJ after all. "He can call if there are any issues."

"Ok," JJ conceded, still not looking completely convinced. "Can you be at my house at 8pm?"

"8pm precisely," Spencer answered as he resumed his reading. JJ shot a look at Emily.

"If this is a disaster, it's on you," she threatened, giving Emily's leg a nudge under the table between them. Emily laughed.

"It's going to be fine. Henry's a perfect kid." She smiled at JJ and the two spent the rest of the flight sharing an affectionate look, both trying not to let the other aware that thoughts of swaying hips and revealing clothing were occupying their minds.

…

JJ's breath caught in her throat as Emily came running out of her condo to Garcia's car. The dark-haired woman looked _hot_. She was wearing a dangerously low-cut tanktop over a very flattering skirt that hugged her hips and thighs in just the right places. JJ's eyes wandered all over Emily's body, unable to choose a spot to get stuck.

"Ow ow!" Penelope called as Emily slid into the back seat behind JJ. "Looking good, Agent Prentiss!"

"That's an understatement," JJ mumbled, turning to give Emily a very pointed look.

"Ready for some margaritas and hot Latin men?" Garcia asked excitedly as they pulled away.

"Absolutely," Emily grinned, as JJ turned to throw her a look once more.

_Yeah,_ JJ thought, seeing Emily's long legs exposed from underneath her skirt. _I'm not letting anyone else near her tonight. _

The dancing lessons were scheduled from 8:30 until 9:30 when the bar would open for regular customers and "Salsa Night." After a shot or two of tequila and a margarita, JJ was feeling pretty loose.

The lessons went fairly well considering JJ had to spend the whole hour watching some very attractive man put his hands all over Emily. She was still very grateful when it was over and they could just concentrate on drinking and dancing with each other. Garcia had hit it off with her dance partner and managed to convince him to stay for a few drinks, but making it clear that she was spoken for and the fun was all about the dancing.

"Here," Emily came over and handed JJ a shot, keeping one in her hand for herself.

"Tequila?" JJ asked above the noise in the bar, raising her eyebrows at Emily who smiled. "Agent Prentiss are you trying to get me drunk?"

Emily winked at her and downed her shot, grabbing JJ around the waist and kissing her neck.

"Emily!" JJ gasped, trying to maintain control of the situation, but her already hazy mind could only concentrate on the heat of Emily's breath near her ear.

Emily pulled back, her eyes dark and obviously hungry. "Dance with me."

JJ couldn't hear her voice, but saw the words on her lips. Throwing back the shot still in her hand, she let Emily pull her onto the dance floor. She had no idea where Penelope was, but she was hoping her friend was sufficiently otherwise occupied and wouldn't notice the two of them dancing. Or at least not notice the _way_ they were dancing.

Emily's hands were all over her, everywhere at once. JJ couldn't keep her own fingers from wandering up under the back of Emily's silky shirt, to feel her damp back. She fingered the top edge of Emily's skirt, eventually sliding her hand down, across Emily's ass, to the back of her thigh.

"I thought we were dancing," Emily smiled, pulling JJ close and whispering in her ear. "If we need to go somewhere else…"

JJ spun away, still gripping Emily's hand, giving the older brunette a scolding look before twirling back into her arms in time to the music.

"Jayj! Those lessons really paid off!" JJ sprang out of Emily's arms at Garcia's appearance over her shoulder. "What happened to your partners?"

JJ looked at Emily who quickly recovered. "They weren't quite as taken with us as yours was," she nodded at Penelope. "We had to improvise. But I'm not complaining." JJ looked away at Emily's wink.

"Oh too bad. Come on! We need more drinks!" The technical analyst grabbed JJ's hand and led her back to the bar.

"You guys have to try this – I don't know what's in it, but it's delicious!" Garcia handed them each a tall green drink. "Cheers ladies!"

JJ's eyes widened as she watched Emily down half her drink in one go. Obviously it was her goal tonight to be completely inebriated.

"Everything all right?" JJ asked quietly, leaning in and indicating to Emily's rapidly depleting glass.

"Would be if I could get my hands on you," Emily mumbled and JJ wasn't sure she'd heard her right.

"What?"

She felt Emily's hand reach out, inching up the side of JJ's thigh. JJ swatted it away and gave her coworker a look of appalled shock.

"Stop it!" She laughed, keeping an eye on Garcia, who seemed engrossed with a man dancing skillfully on the dance floor. Emily raised her eyebrows in feigned innocence, shrugging her shoulders and taking another large drink.

As the night went on, things only became more hazy and more…Emily. JJ couldn't keep her eyes of the woman. A man asked Emily to dance, and although Emily had looked at JJ for permission, JJ thought it might look odd to Garcia if neither of them danced with anyone else the entire night. So she shrugged it off and watched with mesmerized jealousy as Emily danced.

"She always has a way with the men," Garcia said, sidling up to JJ and sipping on her third (or was it fourth?) green drink.

"Mm," JJ nodded, throwing back the rest of her glass in one gulp. She needed to get Emily away from that guy. There was another man, slightly younger, dancing alone nearby. JJ went over and grabbed him – he didn't seem to object – and pulled him close. She knew Emily saw, and it didn't take one minute for her to feel the woman's hands on her hips and lips against her ear.

"Bathroom, now," Emily breathed, and when JJ turned around, she saw her disappearing into the crowd of people.

"Thank you!" She yelled to her dance partner, who was looking slightly bewildered at her sudden departure. Pushing her way to the corner of the bar where the restrooms were located, JJ made her way inside. It was significantly quieter inside the bathroom, although there was a group of giggling women at the sink. They smiled at JJ as they pushed their way out, and then Emily pulled JJ into one of the stalls at the end.

"Em," JJ whispered, not knowing what the woman's plan was. Before she could get another word out, however, Emily pinned her to the wall and was laying kisses down her neck.

JJ gasped, letting out a small moan as Emily's hands travelled under her shirt, sliding up her sweaty torso.

"You were trying to make me jealous," Emily whispered, biting JJ's ear and eliciting another gasp of pleasure from the blonde.

"I…" JJ leaned her head back against the stone wall, exposing her neck for Emily's access. "I wanted you away from that guy…"

Emily reached out from under JJ's shirt, pulling at her already low neckline and bringing her lips to the side of JJ's bare breast.

"You wanted what?" Emily whispered, her other hand pressed into JJ's hip, holding her against the wall. She looked up, her dark eyes meeting JJ's, almost taunting her to speak aloud what they both knew very well.

At that moment, the bathroom door burst open, startling the two women.

"Shh," Emily put her finger to JJ's lips as they both stifled drunken giggles.

"How are we going to get out of here?" JJ breathed, and Emily pressed a kiss onto her lips.

"They're not going to notice," she slurred, pulling away as the group of women at the sink began shouting over one another. "C'mon." She thrust open the door and pulled JJ out of the stall. JJ ducked her head, still laughing, and let Emily drag her out of the bathroom.

"You're crazy," she laughed as they stumbled through the door back into the hallway.

"Mm," Emily growled, pulled JJ close to her and nipping at her neck. "I just want you."

JJ smiled, knowing that if she let her, Emily would have taken her right there in that bathroom stall. It wasn't that the idea wasn't incredibly hot, but it wasn't in her plan for their first night.

"We can't disappear for too long or Garcia will wonder," JJ said, taking Emily's hand again and leading her towards their table. "Let's go get another drink."

…

The next morning, the women managed to pull themselves together and get to Hotch's triathalon. JJ laughed when she say Garcia and Emily, looking just about as good as she, with dark sunglasses over their eyes and large bottles of water in hand.

JJ leaned into Emily discreetly as the team stood near the finish line, waiting for Hotch.

"Couple hours, couple hours!" Reid teased. "You guys didn't come home until sunrise."

"Why are you yelling," JJ ignored Reid's comment and dropped her pounding head.

"Make him stop," Emily moaned, and JJ leaned her head on Emily's shoulder. She figured she could get away with it, and part of her didn't really care considering how crappy she felt. Emily didn't seem to mind the closeness either, as she rested her cheek on the top of JJ's head. The pressure momentarily relieved some of the pounding in JJ's skull.

"Hey," Morgan turned to them, Jack Hotchner perched on his shoulders. "What did you guys drink last night?"

"The Green Fairy," Garica answered him. "Hey, you're in the FBI, could you get the entire crowd to _stop_ cheering?"

Morgan just shook his head and laughed.

"By my estimates, Hotch will be finishing any minute," Reid announced, examining his watch.

"There he is!" Rossi yelled from the end of the line, causing them all to stand up and crane their necks for a look at the approaching Hotch. Everyone started cheering wildly, and even the three women managed a few hearty claps as their Unit Chief crossed the finish line.

"How do you feel?" Rossi asked as they all approached the breathless and very sweaty Hotch a few yards from the finish.

"I think I'm going to live," he answered and they all laughed.

"Hey do you guys wanna go get something to eat?" Reid asked.

"Oh yes please," Emily answered immediately and JJ agreed. She was starving.

At that moment, Hotch's mysterious "friend" and training partner appeared. The team exchanged looks as Hotch introduced Beth to Jack.

"Is that her?" Garcia hissed, and Morgan shushed her.

"We were gonna go get something to eat, do you want to come?" Hotch asked, and JJ felt like this might be a little more serious than they all had thought.

"I'd love to," Beth smiled, and Hotch led the way to the parking lot.

"Hey," Garcia broke away from Morgan's side and grabbed JJ's arm. "You owe me a story." She held JJ back as the rest of the team made their way to their cars.

"Wha-" JJ was thoroughly confused as to what the technical analyst was referring.

"You, Agent Prentiss, all the hanky panky from last night…"

_Oh shit._

"What are you talking-"

"She grabbed your ass!" Garcia hissed. "I saw. C'mon JJ, no one was _that _drunk."

"Really? Because it kind of feels like we were," JJ tried frantically to think of something to say. It seemed reasonable that two close girl friends could get a little handsy when intoxicated. _Right? _

Truth be told, JJ didn't remember a whole lot from the night before. It could very well be that her and Emily had been all over each other in front of Penelope – she truly had no recollection.

Garcia lowered her sunglasses in an attempt to give JJ a pointed glare, however she ended up wincing and squinting in the harsh daylight. Replacing her shades, she pointed a finger at JJ. "I am the all-seeing oracle, missy. And as such I know when two people are sleeping together."

"We are not-"

"Or are wanting to be sleeping together," Garcia cut her off. "You will tell me, or I will find out." She gave JJ a mischievous grin before turning and following the others into the diner.

~…~


	15. Chapter 15: I Love You Tommy Brown

A/N: Well. I can't say much after being gone for so long, except offer huge apologies and thank yous to those of you who've stuck around. I'll refrain from making more promises I apparently can't keep, but I will say that regardless of the amount of time between updates, the story isn't over! Life etc etc, all the usual excuses, but I'm still writing!

Also, HUGE thank you to Zuzana, for her patience, support, and muse-kicking :)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15: I Love You, Tommy Brown<strong>

JJ followed Emily into her condo and headed straight for the coffee pot.

"So. Penelope knows," she said, spooning coffee grounds into the filter and turning to Emily, who was throwing herself down on the couch.

"What?" the brunette rubbed the bridge of her nose, dropping her head heavily against the cushions. "Knows what?"

"That there's something going on between us," JJ answered, leaning against the counter while she waited for the coffee to finish brewing. Her response caused Emily to sit up abruptly.

"What do you mean? How...what...did you _tell_ her?"

"No!" JJ was irritated that Emily would automatically assume that, although she was sure some of that irritation had to do with her persistent hangover. "She said something to me at Hotch's race. Apparently she noticed something last night, But I don't even know what since I can't remember a damn thing from last night," JJ growled, turning to grab a mug from the cupboard.

"Fuck," Emily sighed, falling back onto the couch. "She didn't say what we did?"

"She said you grabbed my ass," JJ smiled, turning to raise her eyebrows at Emily. The brunette scoffed.

"Who could blame me?"

JJ rolled her eyes. "Something tells me that wasn't everything, because she said she could tell when two people are sleeping together-" Emily opened her mouth to interject. "-which I told her we weren't," JJ emphasized, bringing her steaming cup of coffee over to the couch and sitting at Emily's feet. "Yet." JJ grinned, amused that her addition caused Emily to prod her with her toes.

"Well," Emily sighed, settling back down, "that's it then. Garcia knows, Derek knows...it's only a matter of time before everyone else finds out."

"Derek knows?" JJ almost spit out her coffee at Emily's statement. "How does Derek know?"

Emily closed her eyes and pressed into her temple.

"_Emily_," JJ said sharply. She wasn't going to let this go.

"I may or may not have told him I was in love with you a few months ago," Emily said apprehensively, keeping her eyes shut a few seconds before opening them to look at JJ, who's mouth was hanging partially open in shock. "It was after you made up with Will that night...I was..." Emily trailed off, really not wanting to go into details on how JJ had had her heart in a death grip the past few months.

"Oh Em," JJ said softly, setting down her mug and scooting closer to the dark-haired woman. "You told him you were in love with me?" Her blue eyes filled with affection as she leaned over Emily.

"Yeah," Emily said frowning, not sure why JJ would be so surprised at this fact.

"I love you," JJ smiled, pushing herself inches further to lay a kiss on Emily's lips. "I love you so much," she repeated in a whisper, hovering over Emily's lips before lowering herself down to press their mouths together a second time. JJ let her body set on top of Emily's, and she pulled away to look at Emily's eyes before resting her head on the older woman's shoulder.

Emily could feel JJ's eyes close as the young woman relaxed her body into Emily's. She absent-mindedly stroked JJ's hair, closing her own eyes, willing for sleep.

A few moments passed and just as Emily's mind was drifting off into a world scented with vanilla and honey, both her and JJ were startled awake by the shrill ringing of JJ's phone.

"Shit!" JJ swore, jolting at the noise.

Emily groaned. "Why is it so loud?"

JJ didn't respond as she rolled off of Emily and went into the kitchen to answer her phone.

"Hi Will," she greeted after seeing the ID.

"_Hi JJ,"_ Will's voice came through the phone, sounding surprisingly pleasant.

"How was camping?" JJ asked as she turned to lean against the counter and smile at Emily who was watching her from the couch.

"_It was real good," _Will answered, obviously genuine. "_I'm on my way home now though, and I just wanted to see what was going on with you and Henry…"_

"Oh, right," JJ said, leaning back against the counter. "Henry's at the sitter's. We had Hotch's triathalon this morning, and…" She trailed off as she saw Emily watching her from the couch.

"_Okay…how much longer will he be there?" _JJ could tell he was trying to ask what she was doing without coming out and actually asking.

"I'm leaving in a few minutes to go get him," JJ said, rubbing her forehead and avoiding Emily's eyes. "We'll be home by the time you get there."

JJ set down her phone and went back to the couch where Emily was frowning slightly.

"Will?" The brunette asked, not changing her facial expression.

"Yes," JJ answered, perching herself on the edge of the cushion and stroking Emily's hair. "He wants to see his son," she paused, watching Emily's face for a reaction, "So I'm going to go pick up Henry and take him home."

Emily nodded silently.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Emily answered, squeezing JJ's hand. "I'm going to nap anyway, and as much as I'd _love_ your company," she smiled at JJ, "you should go get Henry."

JJ smiled gratefully down at Emily. "Thank you," she said, leaning down to lay a kiss on the woman's forehead. "I'll call you later?"

Emily nodded, and watched as JJ stood and headed out the door. She tried to remind herself not to be jealous. JJ loved her. She was committed to _them._ But the little feeling of uncertainty that always appeared when Will came around being all "family" crept into Emily's head anyway.

…

JJ ushered Henry through the front door before her, her arms full of his jacket and bag of toys from the babysitter.

"Hey," she called, drawing the little boy back to her and handing him the bag. "Put these away before Daddy gets home." Henry nodded enthusiastically at the mention of his father and ran upstairs.

"Hey JJ."

The sound of Will's drawling voice as he came through the still open door caused JJ to turn around.

"Hi," she smiled at him, and throwing Henry's jacket over the banister in order to help Will with his bags.

"How was the camping?"

"It was great," Will said, dragging his duffel bag into the house and throwing his coat down on top of it. "Weather was great, caught some fish…it was a good time."

"I'm glad," JJ said as she walked into the kitchen. "Well, Henry is upstairs putting his stuff away. If you have plans for the afternoon," she turned and faced Will, "I'm probably going to take a nap."

Will nodded. "Long night?"

JJ smirked at his raised eyebrow, and didn't entertain the question. "Hotch was amazing this morning," she commented instead, taking a glass from the cupboard and filling it at the sink.

"Triathalon, right?" Will asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"Mmhmm," JJ hummed, downing the water and hoping it would help soothe her still-pounding head.

"Daddy!"

Henry came rushing into the kitchen as JJ set the empty glass in the sink.

"Hey Little Man," Will said, smiling and scooping up his son. "How're you doing?"

JJ watched as Henry interacted with his father. She could tell that Will was tired, and that he was slightly uncomfortable being around her, but overall he seemed all right. Feeling reassured, JJ walked to lay a kiss on Henry's head.

"I'm going to go lay down for a little bit," she told Will, who simply nodded.

"Henry, you wanna go to the park?" JJ heard the little boy squeal with delight at his father's suggestion as she made her way upstairs. She'd thought about going back to nap with Emily, but all she wanted right now was sleep.

…

The blonde woke up suddenly, surprised to find herself underneath the covers, still fully clothed. She didn't even remember laying down, she'd fallen asleep so quickly. Sitting up and rubbing her eyes, she looked at the clock on the nightstand.

_6:02._

"Shit," JJ spoke aloud, realizing she'd been asleep for nearly five hours. She heaved herself out of bed, pausing as she heard laughter emanating from downstairs.

"Hey," she smiled as she stepped in the kitchen to see Will and Henry, standing atop a kitchen chair, giggling over the stove. "What's all the racket down here?"

"Oh!" Will exclaimed, turning to see her. "Henry! The bear is awake!"

Henry squealed and clapped his hand over his father's mouth. "Daddy! She's not a bear!"

JJ tried to suppress a grin and raised an eyebrow at the two boys.

"The _bear_, huh?"

"Mommy!" Henry squealed again, stamping his feet.

"Hey, careful," Will cautioned, stilling Henry as JJ approached to give him a kiss.

"You sleeped for so long, Daddy said you were hibrating," Henry explained.

"Did he?" JJ commented, shooting Will an exaggerated look. The man looked slightly sheepish, but turned back to Henry.

"We're making dinner now, aren't we Little Man?"

Henry nodded proudly. "Wanna help, Mommy?"

"Oh, I don't know if Mommy is going to be here for dinner," Will said quickly.

"I'd like to," JJ interjected, glancing at Will. "That is, if it's okay with all of the cooks."

Will looked slightly surprised, but not at all angry, and he gave her a small smile as he nodded.

"This cook says yes!" Henry yelled, raising the wooden spoon he was holding into the air.

JJ and Will couldn't help but laugh together at their son's enthusiasm.

"Well. If _this_ cook says yes," JJ tickled her son gently, "then I guess it's settled." She noticed the smile spread across Will's face, and was struck by a mild pang of guilt.

_He knows this doesn't mean I'm trying to get back with him, doesn't he?_

She averted her eyes from Will, convincing herself that she was allowed to spend time with their son and him without making it look like something more.

"So," JJ sighed, turning to face Henry. "Tell me what to do, Chef."

Henry beamed and pointed at the cupboard. "You can set the table Mommy!"

JJ laughed loudly, seeing how much her son was enjoying giving her his usual job to do. "Yes sir," she saluted and began to take down dishes from the cabinet.

The rest of the evening went similarly, with lots of laughing and Henry bossing everyone around.

"I wish we had Serg-yo," the little boy said, wiping his mouth with the napkin his mother handed him and staring wistfully around the kitchen as the family finished their dessert.

JJ's eyes widened at the comment and for some reason she avoided looking at Will.

_It's not like Henry had never met Sergio before last week…we all go to Emily's all the time…_

"What's that?" Will asked looking slightly confused at his son's pronunciation.

"Sergio," JJ spoke up. "He's Emily's cat."

She watched as a faint frown passed over Will's face, but it quickly disappeared and the man turned to Henry.

"So you want a cat, huh Little Man?"

"Not really," Henry shrugged. "I just like Serg-yo. Maybe if we invite Emily over again she'll bring him!" He looked at his mother hopefully.

JJ laughed, avoiding Will's direct stare. "I don't know about that buddy, but I'm sure that you can go over and see him whenever you want."

Henry look slightly dissatisfied with that answer, but he didn't press the issue.

"Why don't you go wash your hands and get your PJ's on while Mom and I clean up," Will suggested and JJ had the sneaking suspicion that Will was sending him out of the room in order to have a specific conversation with her.

Henry hopped down from his chair and scurried upstairs, and JJ stood up, gathering dishes.

"So what's all this about him spending time with Emily," Will demanded, not wasting any time.

"Don't sound so angry," JJ rolled her eyes, moving to the sink. "We went over to cook her dinner last week and she came here once. She still couldn't use her arm, so I was helping her out_._"

"And you had to take Henry?"

JJ scoffed at the ridiculous question. "Well I couldn't very well leave him here, could I?"

"Oh so this is MY fault, because I was gone?"

"What? No! God Will, there is no "this" to be anyone's fault! He spends time with the team all the time!"

"Exactly!" Will slammed his hand down on the table. "He's my son and he spends more time with those people than me! I don't need him coming home going on about Emily Prentiss like she's some sort of second parent!"

JJ's jaw dropped at the potential accuracy of Will's tirade. Taking a few seconds to compose herself, she rolled her eyes.

"You are over-reacting. He said he wanted her cat. That's hardly _parental_," she said, turning to stare directly at the ridiculous man across the counter. "And he does not spend more time with them than you- that's absurd. You need to get a grip." She turned back to the sink, her anger growing at Will's constant issues. "And Emily is practically family at this point, so I don't see what the big deal is," she added, shaking her head and trying trying to keep her voice steady. She was NOT ready to start telling Will about the true nature of her relationship with Emily, but it was absurd for him to be freaking out about Henry spending time with any member of the BAU team.

Will just snorted. At that moment, Henry came ambling back into the kitchen, his recently-donned pajamas slightly askew, but correctly buttoned, and perched himself back at the kitchen table. The young boy looked tired, and JJ glanced at her watch. Somehow it had gotten to be 9pm.

"Hey Little Man," she called drawing Henry's attention. "You tired?"

"It's about that time," Will agreed, heading over and scooping up the dazed Henry in his arms. "You ready for bed buddy?"

"I thought we were gonna play a game," Henry said softly, squirmed slightly in his father's arms, but not putting up a substantial fight.

"How bout I just tell you an extra good story?" Will suggested, kissing the sleepy boy's forehead.

Henry nodded, resting his head against his dad's shoulder.

"Say good night to Mommy," Will turned so Henry could receive a kiss from JJ.

"Night Mommy," Henry returned the kiss when JJ placed her cheek in front of him.

"See you tomorrow, buddy," JJ said, eliciting a raised eyebrow from Will. She refrained from snapping at his unnecessary coldness, but decided she was really getting sick of him pretending like this whole mess was her fault.

As Will carried Henry upstairs, JJ went to check her cell phone, and found that she had a missed call and text from Emily.

She dialed Emily's number to tell her that she was going to sleep there tonight. The couch seemed like an okay option, and she really didn't want to give Will another chance to make comments about her never being around Henry.

"_That's fine Jayj,"_ Emily said after JJ had explained herself, but JJ still felt her tone was slightly disappointed.

"I'm sorry, I know I said I'd be back," JJ apologized again, hoping that Emily wouldn't be hurt or read into the fact that she was choosing to stay in the same house as Will the first night that he was back.

"_JJ it's really okay,_" Emily stressed. _"I'm not upset._"

"Thank you," JJ sighed, rubbing her forehead and loving Emily for being so unlike Will, who would have thrown a fit if the situation were reversed. "By the way, Henry said he wants to invite you and Sergio over for dinner sometime."

She heard Emily laugh through the phone and couldn't help but smile at the lovely sound.

"_I'm not sure how Sergio would feel about that, but tell Henry he can come over any time and visit,_" Emily's smiling voice came across the line.

JJ chuckled. "I'll let him know. Thanks Em."

"_Get some rest and I'll see you Monday," _Emily answered.

JJ hung up the phone, a smile still lingering on her face.

"What's so funny?" Will appeared in the kitchen behind her.

JJ turned around, the headache threatening to make a reappearance. She really didn't want to regret her decision to stay the night.

"Nothing," she shook her head, holding onto the memory of Emily's laugh and fondness for her son, and headed into the living room. "I'm going to sleep down here," she told Will as she left the kitchen.

"Fine," was all Will said before turning going back upstairs, presumably to bed. Despite her long nap that afternoon, JJ was still exhausted, and after gathering a few blankets and an extra pillow, she laid down to welcome sleep.

…

It was Tuesday, and Emily was trying to focus on the case file on her tablet in front of her. The team was seated around the round table, waiting for Derek to arrive so they could start the briefing.

Emily was trying not to be distracted by JJ, as she was trying to harbor resentment at the young woman for spending most of her time over the past two days with Will. Emily knew it was stupid, but today, the part of her that was insistent JJ was going to get back with Will was winning.

"Garcia I'd like to get started," Hotch said, drawing Penelope away from Morgan, who took his seat around the table.

"Right," the technical analyst said, scurrying to the front of the room. "Two couples were found shot in the Delridge neighborhood of Seattle, Washington." Bloody crime scene photos flashed on the screen.

"Two double homicides must be rare in that neighborhood," Rossi remarked, as that area of Seattle was upper middle class and suburban.

"What makes it weirder is that there was no sign of robbery or sexual assault," Garcia responded, looking up at Dave.

"The shooter used a .22," Morgan observed and JJ nodded.

"Shot them execution style," she said, and Emily looked up to meet her eyes. The blonde looked tired, and Emily immediately felt bad for feeling irritated at her. She knew there had been plenty of drama in the one day since Will returned from his camping trip, and she hated feeling like there was nothing she could do to alleviate the stress it was causing JJ, despite her jealousy at not seeing much of JJ since Saturday.

"He's experienced, used the pillow as a silencer," Hotch said, indicating to the two blown out pillows lying next to the bodies.

Reid interjected with some thought about probabilities of both couples being involved in the same illegal activity.

"There's no way these were just random victims of opportunity," Morgan shook his head.

"Garcia, no sign of forced entry?" Hotch asked.

"None that the authorities have found, no."

"So it's a home invasion," Hotch concluded.

"Or our unsub is using some sort of ruse," Emily spoke up.

"Either way," Rossi said, leaning back in his chair and staring at the photos on the screen, "they're calculating and dispassionate."

Hotch closed his folder. "Wheels up in thirty," he announced as he stood to leave the room.

…

"Alright let's go over victimology," Hotch said, calling the team to business.

"Each of the victims is a professional," Rossi offered as JJ brought her fresh cup of coffee and leaned on the seat back across from Emily.

"Local PD couldn't find any overlap," Emily said, glancing up at JJ and trying not to smile as the bright blue eyes met hers.

"This was a straight up execution," Morgan interrupted Emily's wandering thoughts. He frowned. "Kneeling on the ground, placing the pillow behind the head…" He trailed off and shook his head.

"He's ritualistic," Hotch muttered, staring down at the case file.

"Or simply taking precautions," Rossi interjected.

"Some of the vics were shot in the leg," Emily said, perplexed by the detail she had just read in the file. She looked up at her team members, briefly meeting JJ's eyes again, but trying not to linger. Emily knew it shouldn't bother her, but she couldn't help feeling slightly uncertain at the amount of time JJ was around Will. The whole "happy family" thing seemed like such a threat, even though Emily knew it was ridiculous.

"They were probably trying to defend themselves," Rossi answered. "And this was the only way our unsub could get them to the floor."

"Well," JJ finally spoke, and Emily just stared down at her tablet as she felt the blonde's eyes comb over her. "The scene's pretty clean except what's left on the floor of the pillows."

"You guys!" Garcia's urgent voice broke into the conversation. "Something's just happened," the technical analyst spoke quickly. "Another couple, same area, was shot to death in their house."

"This is turning into a spree," Morgan said, looking thoroughly worried.

"Targeting potentially unrelated couples," Emily frowned.

"And the time of the murders is accelerating," Reid joined in the concerned statements.

Hotch sighed. "Prentiss, you and JJ go talk to Abby. Dave and I will go to yesterday's crime scene. Morgan and Reid, you go to the new one."

They all nodded, and JJ slid into the seat across from Emily as they all fell silent returning to combing through the case file.

…

When they landed early the next morning, the team didn't waste any time and headed straight to their assignments. JJ was glad to have been paired with Emily – she loved watching the brunette work. And just being near her was no problem either. She could sense that Emily was a little withdrawn since JJ had spent the weekend at home with Will and Henry, and JJ really wanted to have a moment alone with her to make sure she knew that she, Emily Prentiss, was the person she wanted to be with. But for now, they had an interview to do.

At the police station, Emily sat in the chair across from Abby, the daughter of the second victims, and JJ sat on the couch stretching between the two of them.

"I just keep playing it over in my head," the young girl spoke. "Maybe if I would've been home, I would've heard something."

"There's nothing you could've done," JJ said softly, leaning towards the now tearful girl.

"They just finished watching TV," Abby choked out, staring into space ahead of her. JJ's heart ached for this young girl, who had just lost her entire family.

"Listen," Emily leaned in, speaking gently. "Did your parents have any problems with anyone? Were there people who didn't like them?"

"No," Abby frowned at Emily. "Everyone loved them."

JJ watched as Emily's expression softened. The brunette's strict ponytail and dark turtleneck gave her a severe look (that JJ happened to find incredibly attractive), but in moments like this when her dark eyes took on a warm golden color, JJ completely understood how the older woman managed to get victims and families to open up to her.

She seemed to have that effect on Abby as well, as the young girl met Emily's eyes, and continued to speak.

"They would have these big get-togethers, and there'd be a hundred people in the living room," the girl half-smiled at the memory.

"Where did they meet all these people?" JJ asked, hating to break into the happy memory, but needing to find some useful information.

"At church," Abby answered, opening her eyes and looking at JJ.

"Which one?" Emily asked, drawing Abby's gaze back to her.

"Holy Worship," the young woman answered.

By the time the interview was over, Hotch and Rossi had returned from the first crime scene. As JJ and Emily reported the contents of their interview to him, he stopped when they mentioned the church.

"Holy Worship?" The Unit Chief asked frowning.

"Yeah," Emily said. "They went twice a week and the wife taught Sunday School."

"That's where Garcia said last night's victims went as well," Hotch said, laying a photo of the most recent victims out for them to see.

"What about the first victims?" JJ asked and Hotch shook his head.

"No, but they volunteered at a community center."

Still," Emily insisted, "we've got two couples from the same congregation killed."

"That may be where they met the unsub," Hotch agreed. "I'll send Reid and Rossi to the church and see what they can find."

The two profilers returned with news that the second and third victims had both participated in the church's foster program, which they ran in conjunction with the community center where the first victims were involved.

Reid suggested that the unsub might be a woman, someone driven by maternal desire, looking for a child of her own.

Later that day, another victim was discovered. Another woman who was on the emergency foster family list, but who didn't currently have a child in her home.

After JJ and Morgan had returned from the crime scene, the team was sitting around, discussing the new evidence.

"This woman is irratic and unstable," Morgan said, taking a seat next to Hotch and Reid. "What about someone who was recently released from a mental institution?"

"That would explain taking the last victim's clothes," JJ offered. "When you enter a facility they strip you of your identity."

"I'll call Garcia," Hotch said, seeming to agree. He leaned forward and dialed Garcia on speakerphone.

"Penny G has checked all local mental institutions and there are no women who fit that description that have been released in the last two weeks," Garcia told Hotch.

"Alright, check Oregon, Idaho, even Montana," Hotch tried, as he paced back and forth in front of the phone.

"Okay…." Garcia's typing clicked away on the other end of the line. "There are four women who match the profile and none of them are preggers," she announced after a few seconds.

"Another woman has been shot," the local police chief came running into the room. "A few blocks from here."

"You work with the list," Hotch directed Reid as he started to follow the Chief out of the building. "I'll take Rossi and Prentiss with me."

They got to the scene to find the victim still alive, but unconscious.

When the three met back at the police station, Hotch didn't have anything to report, as the victim was still in surgery for at least two more hours.

"We think the unsub carjacked Karen at a pediatrician's office two blocks from where she was shot," Emily informed him.

"Witnesses said that a blonde woman, early forties, was sitting on a bench outside the office for hours around the time Karen was there," Rossi added, reading from his notepad.

"Dozens of women were in and out during the time the unsub was there," Emily said. "But her only focus was Karen."

"So it's not just about maternal desire," Hotch frowned. "It's about a specific child."

"Karen was in the process of becoming the kid's adoptive mom," Rossi informed him.

"The boy's name is Ben," Emily supplied. "What if he's our unsub's baby?"

"He was probably fostered by all of the victims," Rossi looked from Emily to Hotch.

"Do we know the birth parents' names?" Hotch asked.

"Sealed with the state."

"Have Garcia unseal it," Hotch said simply and went to make the call.

"Ok," Garcia's voice came out of the speakers as the team gathered around. "Here's the dealio, and stay with me. Ben, formerly known as Johnny, was born unto Margaret Hallman."

"Where is she now?" Hotch interrupted.

"Wellll," Garcia drawled, "she should be at the Fallbrook Women's Correctional Facility, but she was released four days ago due to overcrowding."

"We thought it was a mental institution," JJ sighed, obviously frustrated.

"If she was released, why kill to get your own kid?" Rossi asked, confused.

"Her maternal rights must've been terminated," Reid supplied.

"Yeeeah, that happens when you have sex with one of your high school students two years ago," Garcia said, causing eyebrows to go up around the table.

The technical analyst continued. "His name is Tommy Brown, and he his little Johnny's baby daddy. She gave birth to Johnny in jail, and when Tommy's mom refused to raise it, the baby was put in foster care."

"Ok so we were right," Morgan spoke up. "The baby did spend time in each of the victim's homes."

"That would explain the spree and the maternal desire," Emily said. "She's trying to put her family back together." Her eyes locked with JJ's at the words, and she immediately looked down, not wanting to think about the concept of broken families while looking at the blonde. She knew that JJ caught her associating though, and thoroughly dreaded their next moment alone.

"Garcia, we need the Brown's address," Hotch commanded, and immediately texts were dispersed to the team members' phones.

The team raced off to the address, and upon arrival found a classmate of Tommy's laying shot in the kitchen. As they waited for the ambulance, the wounded girl told them that Margaret Hallman had been there and taken Tommy with her. She didn't know where they were headed, however.

"We need to find out everything we can about Margaret Hallman," Hotch said. "There are probably other victims in her past."

One phone call to Garcia told them that according to jail internet records, Margaret had spent her time there searching for a Johnny Lewis, a former student. Five years ago Johnny's parents had charged her with molestation, but dropped the charges before anything happened.

"So she names the baby she has with Tommy after the first student she assaulted?" Emily asked, shaking her head in disbelief. "Maybe Tommy's a surrogate for him."

"Garcia we need to talk to the Lewis's," Hotch said.

"Well, they've moved around a lot…." Garcia's sentence trailed off into typing. "It's like they're off the grid," she said after a few seconds of clicking.

"Who lives in their old house now, maybe they can give us some clues," Morgan suggested.

There was a few more seconds of typing and then, "Oh snap, crackle and pop goes the lady weasel, you'll never guess who bought it!" Garcia exclaimed.

"Ms. Hallman?" Emily asked, feeling rather sick. This whole thing was so twisted.

"Yep. It was transferred to her name yesterday," Garcia answered.

The team was up and headed to the cars before they'd even hung up the phone.

…

The case ended with a showdown on the front porch of the Lewis's old house. Margaret Hallman was shot in the process, though not fatally, and Tommy found out the truth of her past with Johnny Lewis.

As they waited for the paramedics to take care of Margaret and make sure Tommy was okay, JJ entered the house to find Emily standing in the living room, holding the baby.

Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of Emily bouncing the little boy on her hip. Despite everything that had just happened, seeing Emily with a child made JJ's heart skip a few beats. She wanted to tell Emily how much she loved seeing her like that, how much she wanted her to be the mother of _her_ child. But now…was just not the time.

"At least he won't remember any of this," JJ sighed, lamenting her inability to say what she was actually thinking as she stepped up beside Emily.

The brunette turned around, slightly startled to see her.

"Mm," she nodded, stroking the tiny boy's messy hair.

"Did his adoptive mom come through surgery okay though?" JJ asked, reaching out to touch the soft tuft of hair as well.

"Yeah I think Hotch said she'll make a full recovery," Emily said, still staring at the small person in her arms. JJ wanted to cry at the look of pure yearning emanating from Emily's face. She wanted to tell her so many things…

"I, um," JJ stepped closer, wanting to close all distance between their bodies. Emily looked up, meeting her eyes with a curious look on her face. They stood, momentarily locked in each other's gazes, the child in Emily's arms between them. JJ was trying to find the words she wanted to say, when something over her shoulder drew Emily's eyes and the brunette took a step backwards, starting to gently bounce the baby again.

"Kid alright?" JJ turned around to see Derek had joined them in the living room. She nodded.

"Good to hear," he said, glancing between them both. "Well, Social Services is here, and they're going to take him back to Karen. Hotch wants us on the redeye home, so we better get going anyway."

Both Emily and JJ nodded, and not meeting each other's eyes, they followed Morgan out of the house.

…

The team went to breakfast when they arrived back in Quantico, all except Garcia, who seemed to be tied up with some kind of Kevin drama.

After breakfast, JJ followed Emily to her car.

"Can I come over tonight?" JJ asked, hating the slightly awkward air between them and knowing they needed to talk. "I promised Henry I'd take him to the park this afternoon if I got home in time, but I'd really like to have dinner and spend the evening with you."

Emily gave her a small smile and nodded. "I'd like that," she said. "Just let me know what time."

"How about 7 and I'll bring Thai food if you get some wine," the blonde smiled, eliciting a much wider grin from her coworker.

"Okay," Emily nodded again, seeming to relax a little bit. "I'll see you then."

JJ glanced around, wanting desperately to steal a kiss from the beautiful woman she had to keep her hands off of for the passed two days, but unfortunately the rest of the team was still chatting not too far away, so she settled for squeezing Emily's hand.

"See you later," JJ said, dropping her hand and heading to her own vehicle.

…

Emily tried not to be annoyed when JJ arrived twenty minutes late.

"I'm so sorry," the blonde said, rushing into Emily's kitchen and laying the bag of food on the table. "Will was being a pain in the ass about dinner, so I had to cook for Henry and then wait til Will got home…" She trailed off and sighed, turning around to face Emily.

"And how are things going with that?" Emily asked, moving away to get plates from the cupboard. She knew her annoyance was evident in her tone, but in that moment she didn't care. She was kind of sick of hearing about Will this and Will that. But mostly she was annoyed at herself for feeling like she might be made into a fool again.

"Frustrating," JJ answered, removing the containers of food from the bag and discarding it in the trash. "Sometimes I think he understands the boundaries, and other times it's like he's acting like we're still together."

Emily brought the plates and wine glasses to the table before going back to grab the bottle from the counter.

"Well…" She hesitated as she uncorked the wine. "Have you made it clear that you're not?" This time she was able to control her voice a bit better. She wanted to know what things were like between JJ and Will now, but didn't want to sound accusatory. Being jealous like this unnerved her, not to mention the fact that she was still uncertain of where exactly her and JJ stood.

"Yeah," JJ looked up at her. "I have. Multiple times. And I've explained that the only reason I stay so often at the house is because of Henry." She shook her head and accepted the glass Emily offered. "It's weird though…I mean it's a difficult situation and neither of us know how to act really."

Emily nodded slowly and sat down. JJ started doling out portions and handed Emily a full plate and a pair of chopsticks.

"Emily," JJ said emphatically when Emily didn't say anything in response to her previous statements.

The brunette looked up, reluctantly meeting JJ's intense blue eyes.

"What are you thinking?" JJ asked staring at her intently. Emily struggled to think of a response. She considered lying, saying there was nothing and brushing off all the insecurities.

_We should talk about this though. I need to know if there's something going on, and she deserves a chance to defend herself…_

"What is it?" JJ spoke again, setting down her utensils and not breaking eye contact.

"I just…" Emily laid down her chopsticks as well, discarding the bite she had prepared. "You know the things I worry about with…us," she started, hoping JJ would catch on without her having to delve too deeply into her specific emotions.

"Oh Em…"

"No I just-" Emily started to protest at the look of sadness that clouded JJ's eyes.

"No, it's okay," JJ stopped her. "I know it must be difficult for you when I don't have things worked out with Will quite yet. And I'm sorry, Emily, I really am." JJ moved closer and reached to take Emily's hand in her own.

"It's not that really, I just…" Emily paused, staring down at their tangled hands. "I just know how important your family is to you," she said, looking back up to meet JJ's eyes. "And I worry that-"

"Emily." JJ pulled her hands back and straightened up, obviously upset by something Emily had said. "Will is not my family. I mean, he _is_, but not-"

"No!" Emily interrupted. "He is! He's the father of your child and you two aren't on bad terms, you're trying to raise Henry together, with both parents, which means that he _is _your family. And it also means that some day you could realize that the most important thing for you is keeping your family together, which means that things between us are just some kind of distraction."

"A _distraction_?" The anger was evident in JJ's voice. "Emily, what do I need to say to you to convince you that I am in love with you? That I want to be with you? That you are actually important to me?" JJ shook her head in frustration. "I honestly do not know what I can do-"

The ringing of JJ's phone interrupted her rant.

"Shit, it's Penelope," JJ said, looking at her phone. She answered, bringing the phone to her ear. "Hey Pen, can I call you ba-"

Something on the other end of the line caused JJ to stop speaking. Emily looked at her, suddenly worried that something was wrong with Garcia, or that they had a case.

"What is it?" Emily asked urgently, wanting to be assured that nothing was wrong with their teammate.

JJ glanced at her, but didn't give any indication of what was happening. "Pen, calm down, please," JJ spoke into the phone. "It's not even 9pm. You should not-"

She was apparently interrupted again.

"Ok, yes. I can come get you. Of course. No, it's not a problem, just please don't go anywhere. I'll be there in 15 minutes." JJ paused. "Penelope, _stay put_." She hung up the phone.

"Apparently Kevin proposed or something," JJ said, looking up at Emily. "And she wasn't ready for that. So she's drunk."

"At 8:30?" Emily asked, surprised that Garcia could be so wasted at such an early hour.

JJ heaved a sigh. "I know. But I need to go pick her up downtown. Will you come with me?"

Emily was surprised at the invitation, given how their conversation had been going. "Er…I…"

"Please, Em. I want you to," JJ looked at her with significantly softer eyes than minutes previous. "And we should really finish this conversation."

Emily raised her eyebrows.

"I'm sorry," JJ apologized. "I shouldn't have gotten so angry. But we do need to talk, and sooner rather than later. So please, come with me."

Emily didn't know how much talking would get done while caring for a drunk Garcia, but she couldn't help wanting to spend time with JJ. So she conceded.

"Let's go," she sighed. "But I'm bringing this food."

JJ laughed. "Please do." She stood up, grabbing her keys and waiting for Emily to pour her plate back into the to-go container.

They reached the bar only a few minutes later, not having discussed anything in the car because Emily was busy eating. Thankfully, Penelope had listened to JJ and was found sitting slumped on a bench in front of the bar, ranting to the security guard about something or other.

"Come on, you," JJ said gently, helping her inebriated friend to the car. Emily supported her from the other side.

"Agent Prentiss!" Garcia slurred. "How nice to see you with my friend here." Emily exchanged an amused look with JJ and stifled a laugh.

"Nice to see you too, Garcia. Come on," she steadied the teetering technical analyst as they stepped off the curb and helped her into the passenger's seat of JJ's car.

Emily climbed in the backseat, as JJ resumed her position behind the wheel.

"You are a hot mess," JJ told her friend as she pulled out of the parking lot. "Now don't puke in my car."

"I won't," Penelope assured her, swaying and falling against the window. "Now. Emily." Garcia whipped around, leaning down on the center console while turning to face Emily.

"Er, yes?" Emily leaned forward, trying to steady the very top-heavy Garcia.

"Are you sleeping with our petite profiler here? You have the look of one who is."

Emily's mouth dropped slightly. "Um, no…" She avoided meeting JJ's eyes that flashed back at her in the rearview mirror, and tried to sound convincingly amused at such a suggestion. Not that Garcia would remember this in the morning…

"I see all, you know," Penelope informed her. "I have eyes. And mild ESP. Which is how I knew that Kevin was going to propose. Which I hate."

"Oh Pen," JJ sighed, reaching over and squeezing her friend's shoulder. "We're almost home," she added.

"Whose home? Yours? Emily's? JJ," Penelope turned to the blonde, suddenly very serious. "Do you live with Emily now since you two are doing the nasty?"

Emily let out a loud snort. She couldn't help it. Garcia was looking at JJ so seriously, but her word choice was so characteristically _Garcia._

JJ just shook her head, a broad grin on her face. "We're going to your house," she informed Garcia, ignoring the question. "And we are here."

"Oh yes. My lair. It's nice," she assured Emily, turning back to face her.

Emily laughed, not sure why this version of drunk Garcia seemed convinced that Emily had never been to her apartment before.

She helped JJ assist Penelope out of the car and into the building. They fished her keys out of her purse, and once inside, JJ led Garcia back to her bedroom.

"I've got it," JJ told Emily, indicating that the brunette should wait in the living room while she tended to Penelope in the bedroom. Emily nodded, unoffended. JJ and Garcia were closer, and she knew JJ could handle helping Penelope to bed.

She took a seat on Garcia's couch, flipping on the TV to some safari show, while waiting for JJ to return.

Forty-five minutes later, JJ emerged from Garcia's bedroom and joined Emily in the living room.

"She's passed out," JJ said, throwing herself down on the couch.

"Is she alright?" Emily asked, genuinely concerned for their friend's well-being. The blonde shrugged and dropped her head against the cushion.

"She'll be okay. Wicked hangover tomorrow though."

Emily let out a small laugh. "Poor Garcia," she smiled sadly, turning back to the TV.

"Mmhmm," JJ nodded in agreement, sliding over, and snuggling herself against Emily's side. The move surprised Emily, as their dinner conversation hadn't exactly been friendly.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier," JJ said after awhile, not turning her head away from the TV.

Emily paused, looking down at the blonde resting against her shoulder. "It's okay," she murmured, not really wanting to talk about Will again. "I wasn't exactly in my best moment either."

The statement caused JJ to look up, her cheek still pressed against Emily's chest. "Yeah but I understand why you'd be upset," she said, her blue eyes catching Emily's and not letting go. "I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you…I know the situation isn't easy," she finished, breaking the eye contact and turning her head away, back toward the television.

Emily wasn't sure how to respond. JJ was right – it wasn't easy, and she was constantly fueled by her own insecurities and reminders of the way JJ had so quickly withdrawn after their first kisses. She absentmindedly pressed her lips to JJ's forehead, wishing desperately that she didn't feel so scared about trusting herself to JJ completely.

"But you know," JJ moved, looking up at Emily again, "I want to be with you, Em. I don't know what more I can _say_ to convince you of that." Her eyes burned an intense light blue, but as much as Emily wanted to, she couldn't seem to escape that little voice in the back of her mind, reminding her of all the things that could cause JJ to run away again.

"I know you're scared Emily, but I assure you, I am in this for the long-run." JJ reached up and pulled Emily's face down to meet hers. Tears sprang to Emily's eyes at the earnestness of the kiss. She could feel JJ willing her to trust.

"I know, I know," Emily said, shaking her head and pulling back. "I don't doubt that you love me, JJ, I just…" She trailed off, trying to come up with words to explain why she couldn't quite let go.

"I know," JJ assured her, drawing Emily's eyes back to her own. "I know it's going to take time and you might not be able to rest in 'us' until I've proven that I'm not going anywhere, simply by staying around." JJ reached up and stroked Emily's cheek. "But I assure you, Emily Prentiss, I am not going anywhere."

Emily gave her a small smile, leaning in to lay a light kiss on JJ's waiting lips.

"Good to know," Emily smiled as JJ returned the gesture, pressing her mouth more fully against Emily's.

The kiss deepened as the two women pulled each other closer, both wanting to convey still unspoken words. Their mouths opened, and Emily felt JJ's tongue meet hers, the taste of the young woman was intoxicating.

"I just want you to trust me," JJ whispered, trailing her lips down Emily's neck. She brushed strands of dark hair out of the way as she laid her mouth on the older woman's exposed shoulder.

"I…" Emily didn't know exactly what she was going to say. She _wanted_ to, she did. She wanted to give JJ everything without being so afraid of regretting it later. The desire to make JJ know how much she wanted that drove Emily. She arched her back, pressing her body into JJ's as her mouth found the woman's soft lips once more.

"I love you," JJ mumbled against Emily's lips. The words only fueled Emily's desire. Her movements were driven by the intense want to overcome her fears and give herself to JJ completely.

Her teeth tugged at JJ's bottom lip, their mouths crashing together again, tongues clashing and fighting to get a taste of the other.

Emily inhaled JJ's scent, pulling the blonde closer to her and running her hand up and down her side. Her thumb brushed the side of JJ's breast over her shirt – she didn't even realize it fully except for the soft gasp it elicited from JJ.

Aroused by everything that was JJ, Emily moved forward, steering JJ's hips back against the couch. JJ moaned softly as Emily's hand brushed up underneath her shirt, her fingertips grazing the soft pale skin of JJ's abdomen.

"Emily," she breathed, her breath catching as Emily's fingers pushed at the edge of JJ's bra. Her hands tangled in Emily's dark hair, she grabbed at it firmly, steering Emily's head to the side to give herself unrestricted access to the older woman's neck.

Emily closed her eyes, allowing herself to just exist under JJ's touch. Both of their hands roamed freely, running over curves, grasping, tugging at hems and straps. Emily's mouth moved over JJ's neck and shoulders, as though she was trying to consume her.

They kissed with a fervor stemming from their mutual desperation to belong to one another.

JJ finally broke away, pausing momentarily as both women stared at each other, gasping for air. Emily saw JJ's eyes were that pale blue color that happened when she was aroused. After a moment of hesitation, JJ moved back, pulling Emily over her on the couch. Their lips met again, immediately renewing the intense hunger that had consumed them before their pause.

"I love you," Emily whispered earnestly between fervent kisses. "I love you, I love you, I love you." The passion in her voice surprised _her_, and was matched by her movements as she unclasped JJ's bra and slid her hands freely over JJ's liberated breasts.

JJ's back arched, and Emily pushed her shirt out of the way, bringing her mouth down to meet JJ's offered chest. The gasps of pleasure from JJ drove Emily as she sucked her nipples to firmness, running her hands over the blonde's bare torso. Emily pressed her knee between JJ's legs, and the blonde responded by dropping her hips, grinding her center against Emily's thigh. The roll of JJ's hips drove Emily insane. JJ's shape, the perfect way her body matched Emily's...she couldn't help the soft moan that escaped her own lips as she felt JJ's rhythmic movement against her.

"God Jay," she groaned into the slender woman's neck, as she leaned n her knee, putting more pressure in just the right spot to get JJ gasping.

"Please Emily," JJ pleaded, her movements quickening as she grasped Emily's ass, holding the older woman's leg in place to prolong her pleasure. "Please."

The request was more than Emily needed. She reached down and skillfully unbuttoned JJ's dark jeans, sliding her hand beneath the thin panties. Both women let out simultaneous gasps when Emily's fingers met with JJ's soaking wet sex.

"JJ," Emily moaned softly, shocked, aroused and flattered at the evidence of the blonde's arousal. Her fingers swirled in the delicious dampness, exploring the folds of JJ's body before sliding inside. Again, both women were equally aroused at the contact, and Emily felt herself dripping at the long-awaiting feel of JJ's body around her fingers. JJ's hips continued to move, as she slid herself further over Emily's hand, letting out small gasps each time Emily pushed deeper.

JJ was soft and warm, and so incredibly tight. Emily threw back her head, pressing her body further into JJ's center, completely overtaken with desire for the woman before her. It was almost overwhelming. Emily's own senses were tingling as she moved against JJ, finding the spot that made the blue eyes roll back in JJ's head, and stroking it intently.

"Oh God," JJ moaned again, her hips moving faster, in time with Emily's fingers. "Em, Em...Emily!" JJ's eyes flew open and cut Emily's. She stared into the most intense crystal blue she'd ever seen, her body moving according to its own desires, completely surrounded and overtaken by everything that was JJ.

"My JJ," Emily whispered, barely audible, and at that very moment, JJ began to shake. Emily felt her body release as she climaxed, fluid running down Emily's fingers, into the cupped palm of her hand as she continued to press JJ for more.

The blonde's head pressed back against the couch, her back arched as her entire body shuddered with orgasm.

"God!" JJ cried, pressing her face into the back of the couch to muffle her screams. For a moment Emily thought she would cum herself, so thoroughly aroused by the feeling of JJ. But when the blonde fell still, Emily withdrew her hand, examining the liquid running between her fingers before licking it clean.

JJ tasted of perfection, and Emily moved to pull off her jeans and clean her up right then and there, just to have more of her on her tongue, but the blonde beckoned her up to her face.

"Emily," she whispered hoarsely, stroking Emily's cheekbone. "You are amazing."

Emily smiled shyly, laying a kiss on JJ's lips. "You, Jennifer Jareau, are perfect."

JJ shook her head, pulling Emily down for another kiss. When she pulled away, JJ glanced around before meeting Emily's eyes again.

"I can't believe we just had sex in Penelope's couch," JJ said, her eyes growing wide. "Do you think she heard-"

Emily shook her head, cutting JJ off. "You weren't _that _loud darling," she smiled, leaning down to place another kiss on JJ's forehead. "Although, we just proved her right you know." Emily was referring to the comments Garcia had made earlier in the car about the two of them sleeping together. She smiled as JJ rolled her eyes, loving everything about that woman. Her uncertainties about Will would take awhile to disappear completely, but Emily felt so safe and so whole lying there with JJ.

"Are we staying here tonight?" JJ asked, as Emily moved off of her elbow and laid her head down on JJ's shoulder.

The brunette shrugged. "We might as well...we've sort of claimed this couch."

JJ burst out laughing at the statement and placed a few affectionate kisses on the top of Emily's head. "Just so you know, I saw this going differently when I imagined our first..." She trailed off.

Emily propped herself back up to look in JJ's eyes. "Jayj," she said firmly, seeing the sight uncertainty behind her partner's gaze, "you were perfect. Absolutely perfect. I don't care where we were, I just needed to be close to you."

JJ nodded, giving Emily a small smile. "Okay," she said, accepting another kiss from Emily. "But how a you feeling?"

The question was a reference to their earlier conversation, Emily knew. She didn't quite know what to say, because she wasn't in the habit of telling her bedroom partners that she felt complete in her soul after making love with them, but there was no other way with JJ. She glanced down, feeling her cheeks grow red, before looking up to meet those darkened blue eyes.

"Whole," she whispered, simultaneously hating the vulnerability and loving JJ's reaction to it. A beautiful smile broke out across the blonde's face, and she pressed her lips fiercely to Emily's before gathering her into her arms.

"Let's stay that way," she murmured, laying one last kiss against Emily's ear. "I adore you, Emily Prentiss."

Emily smiled, loving the feeling of JJ's body against her, the scent of her sex still in the air. To stay this way was exactly what she wanted.

~...~


	16. Chapter 16: Foundation

**[Insert profuse apologies here]! I love you all for sticking with me. I really can't thank you enough. Fair warning: I have 2 weeks of finals starting today, so the likelihood of me updating before that's all over is slim. I hope you enjoy this chapter though...many thanks to Zuzana who's infinite patience and editorial honesty is everything a writer could ask for :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 16: Foundation<strong>

JJ stirred, waking up to the sound of running water. It took her a moment to realize where she was, tangled up in Emily's pale arms, her dark hair pressed against JJ's cheek. She took a moment to inhale deeply, treasuring the scent of the older woman, now her lover, as she relived the memories from the previous night.

Suddenly remembering the rest of last night, JJ started. She looked around frantically, craning her neck to see Penelope's bedroom door still shut, the faint hum of the shower muffled slightly behind it.

_I seriously hope she hasn't been out here,_ JJ thought, realizing that the scene of her laying in Emily's arms, her bra strewn on the floor – _oh god my bra is laying on the floor!_

JJ shifted, not wanting to wake Emily, but panicking about her lingerie lying out in the open on _Garcia's living room floor._

"Em," JJ whispered, sliding out from underneath the dark-haired woman who was waking up very slowly from a deep slumber.

"Hm?" Emily raised her head groggily as JJ maneuvered her way off the couch, causing Emily's body to roll back against the cushions.

"Sorry," JJ said softly, looking affectionately at her lover, who was still confused with sleep. "I wanted to, erm, clean up before Penelope got up."

Emily slowly pushed herself to a sitting position. "Mm," she nodded, still seemingly unable to form a coherent word. She rubbed her eyes as JJ donned her bra again, and adjusted her shirt. "What time is it?" Emily asked in a hoarse voice, staring up at her.

"Just passed ten, I think," JJ answered, stepping over and placing a kiss on Emily's forehead. "I love you," she smiled, smoothing Emily's hair as the brunette let her head fall against JJ's torso in response to the words.

JJ felt as though something had changed between them – well, something _had._ Making love last night, she had seen the vulnerability in Emily's eyes. She had been extremely nervous herself, never having been with a woman before, but Emily had been more than she could've ever imagined. If JJ had had any lingering doubts about being with her, they were gone now.

"Is that her?" Emily asked, suddenly sitting up and gesturing to Garcia's bedroom, where the sound of running water had abruptly stopped.

"I think so," JJ nodded, reluctantly stepping away from Emily. "I'm not sure if she knows we stayed…" She trailed off, still unsure of how this would look to Garcia. She remembered Penelope making some pretty explicit remarks about the two of them yesterday, but she kind of hoped the technical analyst wouldn't remember her own words. Garcia having her suspicions was one thing, but Garcia _knowing_ the two of them were together was another.

_We're not actually allowed to be "together"_, the thought occurred to JJ as she remembered quite clearly the Bureau policy on inter-team relationships. "Prohibited" was the word, if she was recalling correctly.

"You okay?" Emily asked, and JJ realized that she was frowning.

"Er, yeah, I'm fine," she said shaking her head, trying to not freak out about how it hadn't occurred to her until now that by pursuing a relationship with Emily she was breaking about 12 official FBI policies. "I just…um, I'm wondering if maybe we should…or you…"

"I can go," Emily said, seeming to understand JJ's broken sentence. "You should stay to make sure she's okay. I can take your car and come pick you up later?"

JJ was immensely grateful for the unspoken, though clear, understanding between them about the real reason Emily was leaving.

"Thank you," she said sincerely, handing Emily her keys.

Emily simply smiled and nodded, before leaning in and giving JJ a light kiss on the cheek. "Call me later," she said softly, in a tone that was perfectly innocent, but the intimacy of the gesture caused JJ's knees to go weak.

It was all the blonde could do just to nod and watch as Emily slipped out the door.

When she had closed the door firmly behind her, JJ turned and knocked on Garcia's bedroom door, steeling herself for the next few hours of fulfilling the role of a good friend.

"Hey Pen, you okay?" JJ called, leaning on the doorframe.

A damp Garcia opened the door, wrapped in a fluffy pink bathrobe. "My head feels like a balloon," the woman announced as she stepped slowly out of her room.

JJ stifled a laugh. She felt bad, the woman looked exactly like JJ expected she would after such a rough night. "I'll go get you some Advil," she said sympathetically, turning to go to the medicine cabinet. She'd crashed here after enough "Ladies' Nights" to know exactly where the drugs were kept.

"Thank you for staying," Penelope said, going to sit down on her couch.

"Er, yeah, of course!" JJ returned with a glass of water and bottle of pain reliever. "I wasn't going to just _leave_ you."

Garcia nodded gratefully as she took the medicine and glass from JJ. "Hey," she said, looking around suddenly. "Wasn't Emily here?"

JJ tried very hard not to laugh at the fact that Garcia was asking that question seated in the very spot where Emily most definitely had been moments earlier.

"Yeah, but she left last night after you went to bed," JJ answered, feeling like she did a pretty good job of pulling off the lie.

"Oh ok." Garcia seemed satisfied, and to JJ's relief she didn't seem to remember her own insistence from last night that the two of them were sleeping together. Which of course hadn't been true _then_…

"How are you feeling, you know, otherwise?" JJ asked, needing to get her mind off of the subject of Emily.

Penelope shrugged. "I just want to stay here and bury my head in these cushions," she said, dropping her face to the couch.

JJ flinched, hoping the couch wouldn't betray her despite her ability to lie.

"Um, come here," she soothed, drawing Garcia back into a sitting position. "You don't have to go anywhere, and you certainly don't need to talk to Kevin if you don't feel like it yet."

The technical analyst nodded. "Thanks, Jayj. I think I'm just going to spend today curing this hangover with water and crap TV."

JJ nodded and patted her knee. "Ok. I'll let you be, then. But call me if there's anything you need, though ok?"

Garcia nodded. "Will do."

JJ stood and gathered her jacket and purse, giving her friend an encouraging smile before stepping out the door. She walked out to the sidewalk and called Emily, hoping she hadn't gotten too far away yet.

"You're lucky I don't drive like you," Emily teased when she arrived back at Garcia's building to pick JJ up. "I would've been home by now."

"Yeah, and you would've been back faster," JJ teased back, opening the driver's door to let Emily out so she could drive. As the brunette stepped out of the car, JJ caught her in an urgent, lingering kiss.

"Hey," Emily gasped, surprised by the slightly aggressive gesture. "Garcia has windows you know." But she smiled as JJ pulled away, sliding behind her into the car.

Emily shook her head as she climbed into the passenger's seat. "You…"

"I love you," JJ interrupted her, leaning over to lay another kiss on Emily's irresistible mouth before buckling her seatbelt and pulling out of the parking lot. She could not get enough of that woman.

"Where are we going?" Emily asked, settling back into her seat.

"Lunch?" JJ suggested, glancing at the clock. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

Emily nodded, which JJ took to mean she agreed that food was a good idea.

JJ knew of a great café nearby, so she stopped there.

As they sat waiting for their food, Emily's phone rang.

"Hello, Mother," she said, raising her eyebrows at JJ across the table. "I'm fine, how are you?"

JJ watched as Emily paused, frowning slightly at something her mother was saying.

"Well, I mean, yes, I remember him but-" The Ambassador apparently cut her off. "Yes, of course. It would be nice. Well you know how my job is, but of course we can plan it- okay. Yes Mother. Thank you."

Emily hung up the phone right as their plates were brought out from the kitchen.

"Everything okay?" JJ asked as the server set two steaming bowls of soup down on the table, followed by plates of sandwiches.

"Yeah, it's fine," Emily nodded at their server and then looked back at JJ. "A couple of Sunday brunches and apparently everything's fine between us."

JJ nodded slowly, knowing there was more there, but not wanting to push.

"Anyway," Emily continued as she began to stir her soup, "she wants me to have dinner with an old State Department friend and his son next week. Which," she glanced up at JJ with a crooked smile, "means one of two things: she's setting me up on a date, or she's trying to get me to leave the BAU for State."

JJ wasn't sure whether or not she should laugh. Both of those things seemed ridiculous.

"Um, a _date_, huh?"

Emily nodded, rolling her eyes.

"That seems so…unlike the Ambassador."

"On the surface," Emily corrected her. "She would never call it that, or suggest that I need to be dating or anything like that. She's too skilled a diplomat to have to say anything outright."

JJ laughed. "Well…So you're going then?"

"Don't be jealous," Emily teased, her dark eyes gazing at JJ affectionately. "You have nothing to worry about."

JJ blushed slightly, ducking her head and taking a spoonful of her soup. "Good," she murmured, but there was the nagging thought that even if she didn't have anything to worry about didn't mean she wanted Emily going out on faux dates that people set up for her because they thought she was available. _This probably won't be the last time something like this happens,_ JJ thought to herself. _ Unless you start to tell people._

…

After lunch, the two returned to Emily's condo.

"I'm supposed to get Henry for dinner at 5," JJ said as they walked into the kitchen. She wasn't sure what was going to happen with the rest of their afternoon, but she knew exactly how she _wanted_ to pass the time…

"Okay," Emily said, turning around to find JJ right there, sliding her arms around her waist. "Hey…" she said, evidently surprised at the blonde woman's actions. JJ couldn't help it though. She wanted – _needed_ – to have Emily again.

"That means," JJ said, pulling Emily's mouth to hers. "That we," she interrupted her own sentence with more kisses over Emily's neck and collarbone, "have some time to kill." She smiled as Emily gasped when her teeth caught on her earlobe. "What do you think we should do with all that time, Agent Prentiss?" JJ whispered, her lips brushing Emily's ear.

The older woman turned her head, looking down at JJ, her eyes dark with desire. She shook her head in disbelief at this irresistible side of JJ.

"You are something else," she whispered, snaking her hands up the back of JJ's t shirt, tracing her fingertips along JJ's spine. "But I have a few ideas…"

The blonde woman grinned, and grabbed Emily's hand, pulling her up the stairs to her own bedroom. "I have a few ideas of my own," she growled, throwing Emily on the bed before she climbed on top, straddling Emily's hips.

"Oh yeah?" Emily let JJ pin her wrists back about her head, moaning softly as JJ pressed her lips to her neck. She let JJ slid her shirt off, exposing her chest that was threatening to spill out of her black lace bra.

"My God you are beautiful," JJ sighed, pausing momentarily to take in the sight of Emily's pale skin before allowing her mouth to explore the new territory. Emily blushed, slightly embarrassed at JJ's open admiration of her body. She self-consciously fingered the corner of her bra that lay over the shamrock scar on her breast. JJ noticed, and took Emily's hand away, kissing her fingers as she did so. She then slid the strap off of Emily's shoulder, revealing the burn.

Emily watched as JJ's eyes softened, she leaned down and pressed the most gentle kiss on the raised skin. Emily couldn't help the feelings of embarrassment, shame, and immense pain that overwhelmed her at that moment. That was part of the ordeal with Ian that no one had known about, and it was a constant reminder of the hold he still had on her.

"My Emily," JJ murmured, lifting her eyes up to meet Emily's. "I love you." Emily could see the pain in JJ's own face, the kind of pain a lover takes on for the beloved.

"I love you," the blonde repeated, kissing Emily urgently and repeating the words over and over. Both women shed tears as they clung to one another, the truth of the past months spoken out loud.

They kissed urgently, grasping at one another, in a way that echoed the hunger of the previous night, but was more full of the fear and desperation experienced at losing one another months ago. JJ pulled off her own shirt as Emily finished removing her bra, letting JJ have free reign over her breasts.

This time Emily's moans were louder, and she cried out as JJ slid her leg between her thighs, pressing into her center.

"Jay," Emily gasped, taken in by the fierce look in JJ's eyes at they flashed up to meet hers momentarily. JJ tugged at Emily's jeans, surprising the brunette with her almost desperate aggressiveness in her determination to have Emily.

"I love you," JJ said again, pausing to look intently into Emily's eyes with a look that was familiar. It was the same sincerity that Emily remembered when their eyes met for the first time upon her return from France. Emily simply nodded, unable to speak as JJ ripped off her remaining clothing and laid claim to the rest of Emily's body.

"Oh God," Emily breathed, as JJ's lips trailed along her inner thigh, her hands running up and down her abdomen. "JJ!" She felt the wetness of JJ's tongue meet her own soaking wet folds. The blonde grasped Emily's hips, pulling her toward her and pressing her mouth deeper. Her movements were slightly clumsy in their urgency at first, but Emily couldn't feel anything except JJ's tongue exploring inside her.

"JJ," she moaned, grasping the woman's head, her fingers tangling in the golden hair as she arched her back, wanting JJ's mouth to have as much of her as it wanted.

"Mm," JJ hummed, trailing her tongue up, over Emily's swollen center, causing the brunette to gasp with pleasure. Her tongue flicked over the skin, and Emily thought she was going to cum right there, but JJ paused, sliding her fingers inside of Emily.

"Oh Emily, Emily," JJ whispered, leaning up to kiss her stomach as she pushed her hand farther inside her lover. Emily was gone, her eyes met JJ's for a brief second, their blue the color that would be forever associated with this pleasure.

"JJ, please," Emily begged, rocking her hips into JJ's hand, moving faster, desperate to give herself over to the blonde woman. JJ's eyes held hers as she thrust herself deeper, fucking Emily _hard._

Emily let out a scream as she felt herself give, grasping at JJ's back, digging her nails into the skin. "Fuck!" She cried again, unable to stop the orgasm, shaking in JJ's hands. Her back arched, even as JJ pulled her hand back and came up to kiss her lips. Smaller moans escaped her mouth as she continued to shake, her body pressed against JJ's.

After a moment, she fell still, and JJ fell against her, resting on her elbow. She ran her fingers over Emily's forehead, brushing the hair out of her face.

Emily stared up at her, unable to find the words that expressed how she felt. Instead, she turned into JJ's embrace, pressing her face into the younger woman's shoulder and let herself be held.

Some time later (Emily wasn't sure if she had fallen asleep), JJ moved, kissing her forehead.

"It's nearly five," she whispered. "I need to go get Henry."

Emily pulled away, checking the digital clock next to her bed. She nodded, not wanting to let her go, but understanding.

"Do you want to bring him here for dinner?" Emily wasn't sure if the offer was okay, but she didn't want JJ to leave. To her surprise the blonde woman smiled.

"I think he'd love that. If you don't mind…"

Emily shook her head and sat up, blushing at JJ's gratuitous oogling of her naked body.

"You could spend the night," she said uncertainly. "I do have a guest room." JJ raised her eyebrows. "If it's too soon, I completely understand," Emily added hurriedly, not wanting JJ to feel any sort of pressure. She didn't know how they were going to handle things with Henry anyway, let alone when.

"No, no, I think that would actually be okay," JJ said, clearly mulling over the proposition in her mind. "Either way, _I _want to stay with you tonight." She smiled, leaning forward to brush a kiss across Emily's lips. Emily grinned.

"I'm okay with that."

"Mmgood," JJ kissed her again as she slid out of bed and grabbed her shirt. "Now, you decide what's for dinner and I'm going to pick him up."

Emily nodded, smiling gratefully as JJ handed her the blouse that they had so hastily discarded on the floor.

"See you soon," she kissed her again, before hurrying down the stairs.

…

Henry was thrilled about being at Emily's for dinner again. Emily wasn't sure they could say the same for Sergio, but it was worth hearing that little boy giggle just like his mother as he chased the cat around the living room.

JJ told Emily that Will wanted Henry to sleep at home though, so he was coming to pick up his son at 9:30.

When the doorbell rang, Emily was a little apprehensive about facing Will, but he gave her a small smile when she answered the door.

"Hi Emily," he said politely as she let him into the foyer.

"Hi Will, come on in. JJ's in the kitchen with Henry." She gestured for him to go through, hanging back herself, not really wanting to intrude on his interaction with JJ. She still wasn't sure of how she fit in here. She was at least grateful that her interaction with Will was cordial enough. It didn't seem like the man held anything against her for the situation, something she worried might change dramatically if he knew the true nature of her relationship with JJ.

"Good night," Will said, emerging from the kitchen with Henry in his arms. "Say thank you, Little Man," he told his son as they passed by her to the door.

"Thank you," Henry parroted, waving to Emily over his father's shoulder. Emily closed the door behind them, and went back to the kitchen where JJ was finishing the dishes.

"Was he nice to you?" She asked, knowing JJ still struggled with the fact that she was separating her son's parents, and wanting things to at least be calm between the two of them.

"Yeah, he was fine," JJ nodded. "He is most of the time."

Emily walked over, sliding her arms around JJ's waist and pressing a kiss into the back of her shoulder.

"Well, I'm glad. The other good news is, we now have the house to ourselves…"

She felt JJ smile as she ran her hands along the slender woman's hips.

"That is good news," JJ murmured, dropping the dish towel and turning to wrap her arms around Emily's neck. "Allllll night."

"Mmhmm," Emily replied as their mouths met. JJ tasted heavenly, and Emily was looking forward to an entire night of indulging in her.

However, their make-out session was quickly interrupted by the simultaneous buzzing of both of their phones.

They paused, staring at each other, both dreading what that meant.

"Damn it," JJ swore, the first to pull away and reach for her phone. "It's Garcia. Case in Arizona."

"Fuck," Emily said, reading the text for herself and feeling severely disappointed that her plans for the night were now ruined.

JJ smiled bitterly, laying a kiss on Emily's cheek.

"We should maybe take separate cars," JJ said, pausing at the door, and looking slightly apprehensive. Emily nodded. Someone would notice if they kept showing up together all the time.

"I'll see you there then," JJ said. Neither of them were happy, but Emily couldn't help but smile as JJ pulled her in for one last kiss before turning and heading to her car.

…

The rest of the team looked just as disappointed as they boarded the jet. Garcia was already on the video screen, and they took off not five minutes after everyone sat down.

"Hi hi hi sorry for the cryptic late night texts," the technical analyst greeted them. "But I promised I would fill you in on the way here and I am a girl who keeps her promises, SO. This boy was found two hours ago in the middle of nowhere. Technically he was found outside Crawford, Arizona – my point is, he has clearly been to super hell and escaped some sort of captivity."

Photos of a severely malnourished and beaten boy were spread on the table and appeared on their tablets.

"How do we know he wasn't just dropped off there?" Morgan asked, looking up from the photos in his hand.

"Well he has fresh cuts on the bottoms of his feet from the local cactus fields, and that's away from any thru-roads, and his skin is rubbed raw around his ankles from chains," Garcia answered.

"He must've had a chance to escape and he took it," Morgan concluded.

"Or the unsub had him in transit," Emily called from the back of the plane.

"He's jaundiced," JJ murmured, looking through the same set of pictures. "Probably hasn't seen daylight in awhile."

"It's hard to tell for certain, but he's maybe…thirteen?" Emily tried to make an educated guess from the photos. She was thinking "super hell" might be an understatement for this kid's ordeal.

"Are there any missing children in the area, Garcia?" Reid spoke up, his eyes still on the file.

"None, until now," Penelope answered. "But Sir, you may have more information than I do?" She looked questioningly at Hotch.

"I do," the Unit Chief answered looking at them all. "Earlier tonight another boy was reported missing in Flagstaff."

"Yeah, so a child abduction rapid deployment team will meet you on the ground," Garcia said.

Hotch stood and passed around new photos. "The Flagstaff abduction is Billy Henderson, 13. His parents said he was coming back from a friend's house after dinner, he never made it."

"Right now our best chance of finding out what happened to Billy Henderson is finding out what the first victim knows," Morgan said and Hotch nodded.

"Exactly. So Morgan, you and JJ go to the hospital and see if you can get through to him. The rest of us will set up at the police station."

Emily quickly squashed the slight disappointment at not being paired with JJ. If this was going to work, if they were going to be together and work together, she couldn't be acting like anything between them had changed.

_This is precisely the reason these kinds of relationships aren't allowed_, she reminded herself sternly. _So pull it together._

She straightened up and turned back the case file on her tablet. It was just that her and JJ hadn't had time to revel in the new stage of their relationship – that is, to have copious amounts of sex on every surface in Emily's condo. Given that that's what they had been trying to do when they received Garcia's texts, Emily consented that it was probably a good thing they weren't paired together. One thing they needed to be sure of was that no one on the team found out about them accidentally.

…

Emily was driving with Dave from the airstrip to the Crawford police station. The older man was browsing through the continuously updated file on his tablet.

"Apparently Billy was riding his bike home from his friend's house last night," Rossi said, looking up at Emily from the passenger's seat.

"They find the bike?"

"Nah, the unsub was smart enough to cover his tracks," Rossi shook his head. "Billy left his house at 8:20 pm, the ride home was less than half a mile."

Their conversation was interrupted by the Garcia on the Bluetooth.

"You're on speaker, Garcia," Emily said loudly, pressing the answer button.

"Ok, I got the whole gang on," the technical analyst's voice announced, and Emily was embarrassed that her first thought was of JJ, and hoping she might get to hear her voice.

Emily rolled her eyes at herself and gripped the steering wheel, trying to forcer herself to concentrate on the road or the case or whatever Garcia was saying.

"It looks like the first victim was definitely held in captivity in Crawford, Arizona."

"Why's that?" Emily recognized Spencer's voice on the line, and instinctively glanced in the rearview mirror at the identical black SUV following them.

"Well, because a woman walked into Crawford PD this morning, says she remembers a boy in chains, in Crawford, thirty years ago. Just like the boy found last night."

"Is she still at the station?" This time it was Hotch asking the question. It didn't sound like Morgan and JJ were on this call.

"No," Garcia answered. "She dropped that bomb of information and then took off."

"What's her name?" Rossi asked, exchanging a quick look with Emily.

"Her name is Samantha Allen, and I'm sending you the security footage riiight now," Garcia said.

Rossi raised his eyebrows, consistently impressed by Garcia's technological skills. He pulled up the footage on his tablet, and Emily glanced over, trying to watch and drive at the same time.

"What's she looking at?" She asked Dave, not wanting to take her eyes off the road for too long.

"I can't tell," the older man answered, still watching the video intently.

Emily looked over again and saw as the woman suddenly darted out of the police station. "What happened?" She asked Rossi, frustrated that she couldn't watch the video for herself.

"It's like she was spooked," he answered.

"Dave, you and Prentiss see if you can find Samantha Allen," Hotch's voice came back over the line. "Reid and I will get set up at the station."

"Got it," Emily said. "Garcia can you send me directions to Sam Allen's nursery?"

"On it, Princess," the technical analyst chirped, and within seconds the GPS on the SUV's dash lit up.

"Thanks," Emily said, reaching up and pressing the Bluetooth button again to end the call.

"All we can hope is that JJ and Morgan get through to the survivor," Rossi sighed as Emily turned the car around.

She nodding, thinking briefly of JJ, knowing how capable that woman was. She liked thinking of JJ doing her job, and Emily had to suppress a smile as she happily loved the blonde woman who was somewhere across the desert.

…

JJ and Morgan were immediately met at the hospital by the ER doctor who had been there when the escaped victim arrived.

"We can't examine his scars yet," the doctor explained as he led them down the hall. "So I can't say for certain how he's been held, or…well, anything really."

"You _can't_ examine his scars?" Morgan asked, clearly skeptical of the doctor's statement.

"We can't get close enough," the doctor shook his head. "He has the most severe case of CER I've ever seen. Conditioned Emotional Response," he clarified, glancing at Morgan unsure if the agent understood his acronym. "I've only seen it in veterans."

"That's worse than PTSD," JJ frowned, starting to really worry about the state of this boy.

"I'm sure he's sensitive to light and sound," Morgan added.

"Incredibly," the doctor confirmed. "We're keeping his room as quiet and dark as possible."

"That's probably what he's used to," JJ surmised as they continued down the hall. "Any idea how old he is?"

"It's hard to tell," the doctor shook his head.

"Best guess?" she prodded him as they came to stop in front of one of the rooms where a police officer stood guard.

"Maybe sixteen?"

JJ and Morgan nodded thanks to the doctor and flashed their badges at the local cop who let them through the door. The room was dark, all the shades drawn and lights off. At first glance, JJ didn't see anyone. The bed as empty, an untouched tray of food sat on the bedside table.

Another moment's look around revealed a small boy, hunched under the table in the corner.

JJ exchanged a concerned look with Morgan and they both stepped closer to the boy.

"Hey," Derek's voice came out in a gentle whisper as they both crouched down to see under the table. "My name's Derek. I'm one of the good guys. And this is my friend." He nodded in JJ's direction as the thin boy shifted uncomfortably, trying to push himself further into the corner.

"I'm Jennifer," JJ said softly. "You're safe now." The boy kept his head turned away, toward the wall.

"You must be thirsty," JJ suggested, noticing the unopened bottle of water on the food tray. She took the bottle and offered it to the boy. "Here you go."

For a second JJ thought the kid was going to take it. He turned slightly toward her, staring at the bottle. In the next second though, he smacked the water out of her hand, sending it flying across the room. JJ felt Morgan move defensively as she flinched, but the boy was huddled back in the corner just as fast, and it was clear that he wasn't going to tolerate anyone coming close to him.

"Hey! It's okay!" JJ said as the bottle rolled away from them and the boy curled himself against the wall. "It's okay." She backed away, making it clear that she wasn't going to violate the space barrier again.

"JJ, this is _years_ of conditioning," Morgan whispered, as they both watched the young boy huddle shaking against the wall.

"Have Garcia go back to 2000 for missing kids," Morgan suggested and she nodded, secretly glad for the excuse to leave the room. Startling the boy had shaken her, and observing his severe CER was for some reason more difficult on her than it might have been.

…

Emily and Rossi pulled up to Sam Allen's nursery. As they parked, Emily saw a young brown-haired woman loading potted plants into the back of a truck. Before Emily got out of the SUV, she received a text from JJ.

_It's bad. Severe CER. Doubt he'll be talking for awhile. Good luck at the nursery xo_

Emily's heart did a little skipping dance when she saw the last two letters. Tucking her phone back in her jacket pocket, she tried not to feel like an infatuated middle schooler.

"Hi there!" The woman on the truck greeted them, pulling Emily's mind back to the present. "Can I help you?"

"We're with the FBI," Rossi answered, flashing his badge. "We heard you were at the police station earlier."

Sam's expression faltered slightly. "Oh," she laughed, recovering quickly and waving it away. "I told the other detective, that was a mistake."

"Why did you leave the station when you saw your father's photo?" Rossi asked, getting straight to the point. Reid had called while they were en route to share his hunch from his exploration of the station.

"I didn't," Sam said, turning away and busying herself with adjusting the plants in the truck bed.

"We saw the security footage," Emily spoke up, drawing Sam's eyes. "You told them you saw a boy in chains when you were a kid."

Sam stared at her for a moment, seeming to decide whether or not she was going to continue her denial act. After a moment though, she simply dropped her eyes, not saying anything.

"Why do you think your father had something to do with this?" Rossi pushed when she didn't respond.

"I don't," Sam looked up at Dave defiantly. "My father is a good man. This isn't about him, okay?" Emily could tell she was significantly agitated. "I told the other detective, I made a mistake." She stood up to jump down off the truck bed and continue her work.

"You know what I think?" Emily's voice stopped Sam mid-motion. "I think you saw the news coverage of that little boy they found last night," she said firmly, holding Sam's gaze, "and it triggered something. If you know anything that can help us and you're keeping it to yourself, that's as horrendous as what's happening to those children."

"Look," Sam said, shaking her head. "I'm sorry. I really really am. But I can't help you." She looked away from Emily and jumped down from the truck, walking away.

Emily turned to Rossi and sighed.

"She knows _something_," she said, slightly exasperated. The older man shrugged.

"Maybe. She might not know what she knows, though."

Emily nodded in agreement. It was obvious though that something had triggered Sam Allen to go to the police station that morning.

Resigning herself to the fact that they weren't going to get anything more from Sam Allen right then, Emily climbed back in the car and headed to the police station.

…

Emily had hoped JJ and Morgan might be back from interviewing the survivor by the time she and Rossi got to the station, but after speaking with Hotch, she learned that the escaped boy had severe conditioned emotional response and wasn't letting anyone near him.

"Well, if anyone can get him to open up, it's JJ," she said thinking of the blonde woman's gentle tone and soft blue eyes. "And Morgan," Emily added quickly, realizing how she must've sounded.

"Yeah," Hotch agreed, not seeming to notice anything unusual about Emily's first statement. "So how did things go with Samantha Allen?"

Emily shook her head. "Weird. Reid thinks she bolted from the station after seeing a photo of her father that's displayed in the front lobby."

"She left after seeing a photo of her father?" Hotch repeated, frowning deeply. "Did she accuse him?"

"No, the opposite – she protected him," Emily answered conveying her own surprise at Sam's behavior. "Garcia ran her mental health history, she had some grief counseling after her mother died, but other than that, no therapy."

"Well, we can talk to her but we can't force her to help," Hotch said, seeming just as resigned as Rossi that there was nothing more to be done concerning this lead.

"No, but something in her gut brought her in here," Emily protested, remembering the look on Sam's face when Rossi mentioned her father. "If there's any kind of truth to her instincts, there's going to be a record of a missing boy from thirty years ago."

The pair stopped at the table where Rossi was bent over a stack of photos.

Hotch nodded. "Have Garcia check into unsolved cases. And also check into JB Allen's history. We can't rule anybody out."

Emily grabbed her phone and stepped back out into the hallway, leaving Hotch to debrief with Rossi.

"Hey Garcia," she said when the technical analyst answered the phone.

"_Hello my pretty, how can I be of service in this moment of need?"_

"Give me everything you have on JB Allen, also any unsolved missings going back to 1980 just to cover bases." She rubbed her temple, determined to stay focused and professional on this case.

"_Anything for you darling,_" Penelope chirped, and Emily heard her clicking away.

At that moment she looked up and saw none other than Sam Allen walking hesitantly into the police station lobby.

"Uh, thanks Garcia," Emily said absent-mindedly, already moving toward the slightly lost looking woman.

"Sam?"

Samantha Allen looked up as Emily approached.

"You came back."

The woman nodded. "I don't know if I know anything at all," she said, throwing up her arms. "But you seemed convinced that I might, so I…" she trailed off, her eyes meeting Emily's. Emily took her by the shoulder.

"I'm glad you came back. We can just talk and see what comes up, if anything, ok?" Sam nodded, and allowed herself to be led back to an interrogation room.

…

JJ took her time on the phone with Garcia, filling her in on the situation with the boy and letting the analyst clue her into what the other team members had been up to. She got coffee and downed a cup and a half before returning to the room where Morgan was.

Upon entering, she saw that Derek had somehow made significant progress. The boy was out from underneath the table, sitting within a few feet of Derek. The blinds were open and lights were on, and her teammate and the survivor were rolling a coin back and forth between them, although as far as she could tell, no words were being exchanged.

When the boy looked up and saw her standing in the doorway, he flinched and made to move away, but Derek held up his hand.

"It's okay, it's okay," he soothed, and the young man calmed slightly. Still tensed, we watched JJ out of the corner of his eye, but didn't retreat any further.

"What did Garcia find out?" Morgan asked, turning to face JJ.

"She broadened her search, but nothing that matches his description."

Derek shook his head. "Somebody's gotta be missing this kid," he sighed and JJ simply raised her eyebrows. It astounded her too that they had been unable to find one solid lead about who this boy was.

"I got him to nod," Derek whispered, as the boy turned their coin over in his hands. "But, not much more than that."

JJ nodded. "And you asked him his name?" She felt so odd talking about the boy like this when he was sitting right there. His silence didn't make him _deaf_, but it was unnerving that he wasn't responding to anything they said.

"Yeah," Morgan nodded glancing back at the boy.

"What about in Spanish?" JJ asked, suddenly stricken by the thought that maybe one of the main issues was perhaps a language barrier.

"Doesn't matter the language, I mean he won't talk," Derek looked at her. JJ shrugged, thinking that it certainly wouldn't hurt to try. If he did indeed speak Spanish, maybe hearing it would make him more comfortable. JJ wished Emily were there, but she knew enough rough Spanish herself to be able to see if it would get a response.

She moved to sit next to Derek on the floor. "Mi nombre es Jennifer," she said gently. The boy shifted his eyes in her direction, but nothing that indicated he was responding to the change in language. "Como te llamas?" She spoke again. "What's your name, sweetheart?" It was infinitely frustrating for her to not be able to connect with this boy. "Can I see what you have there?" She asked, hoping that maybe she might break the barrier where Derek had already established some sort of bond.

To her surprise, the boy held up the coin to show her, still ducking his head out of her direct gaze.

"Do you like eagles?" She asked, noticing the bird etched on the coin. The boy glanced down, examining the picture for a moment, then tapping his finger against the eagle's wing.

"Yeah," JJ responded, trying to probe him on. "The wings are beautiful, aren't they?"

The boy moved, reaching his hand to his back and tapping his fingers there, then returning to indicate to the wings on the coin.

"You're back…wings on your back…" JJ tried to understand what he was attempting to communicate. "Angel?" She asked, suddenly getting it. "Is your name Angel?"

The boy responded to the word, freezing momentarily and then turning to look at her. The corner of his mouth curled up in a half smile, and JJ exchanged an excited look with Derek.

"Nice," Morgan grinned at her before looking back to smile at Angel.

JJ stood up and stepped back outside, going to call Garcia and Hotch to let them know they'd figured out Angel's name.

…

As Emily and Sam made their way to the interrogation room, they passed Rossi and Hotch. Emily gave Dave a pointed look, and saw as he nudged Hotch to see that Sam had returned.

Once they were seated, Emily asked Sam to tell her a little bit about her childhood.

"So, softball, basketball and soccer," Emily recounted. "You played a lot of team sports."

_JJ plays soccer. _

Shut up.

Emily smiled at Sam encouragingly as the woman nervously nodded in response to her question.

"Is your dad a coach?"

"No," Sam answered. "He was always too busy with work. I guess that's why he kept me busy. It-it was okay though," She added, worried that she'd given the wrong impression. "The house was too quiet after Mom died. She had cancer."

Emily sat patiently as Sam continued to talk, staring at the table, glancing up to meet her eyes every once in awhile, for reassurance.

"I didn't really know what that meant growing up, just that…she wasn't gonna get any better."

It pained Emily to see the sadness and evident grief in this woman's face. Wanting this to be productive, for Sam's sake as much as for Billy Henderson's, Emily broke in.

"Ok," she said gently, drawing the other woman's gaze back to hers. "Let's start with today. What brought you in here?"

Sam looked down uncertainly. "I…saw that-that boy on the news," she said slowly. "And I saw, um…I can't really explain it," she shook her head. "It was um, it was like a movie in fast-forward?" She looked up at Emily apparently hoping her point was getting across.

Emily nodded gently, urging her to continue.

"It was dark, so dark. And that little boy, he had the same chains on his ankles..." She paused, frowning hard at the memory. "Um," she cleared her throat, shaking her head a bit. "And then it was over."

Emily frowned slightly, but successfully controlled her expression.

"Ok. Let's try something. I'd like you to close your eyes."

The request garnered an exasperated look from Sam, and Emily just raised her eyebrows and gave the woman a look that very clearly said "humor me."

"Please," she added softly, and Sam turned reluctantly back to the table, sitting up facing Emily.

"Close your eyes," Emily repeated. "Concentrate on your breathing." Sam's eyes fluttered shut, and she drew a few deep breaths. "Ok," Emily continued, "you said it was dark. You were in your pajamas."

"Yes," Sam whispered. "I was burning up."

"Probably had a fever. What did you do?"

Emily walked the woman through that night, trying to garner any useful information that could clue them in to what had actually happened.

"There's something else," Sam strained after a momentary pause. "But I can't see anything. I followed it, oh my feet are so cold!"

"Because you were outside?" Emily prodded, watching her intently.

"No," Sam shook her head, her eyes shut tight. "The basement." She paused a moment before continuing. "I see…no!" She shook her head again, this time more violently. "I'm too scared! No no, I go back up to my parents' bedroom. But I peeked out the window, and there's that boy…" Her voice became hoarse, a few tears slipped out of the corners of her still-closed eyes.

"What is he doing?" Emily asked softly, not wanting to push her too far, but feeling like they were so close to getting some kind of useful detail.

"He's trying to get out of that truck," Sam cried. "He's trying to get out of there-" Her sentence was swallowed by a gasp as her eyes flew open.

"Is your dad driving the truck?" Emily asked firmly, but she knew right away that it was too late – Sam had already removed herself from the memory.

"No no no!" Sam protested, looking fiercely at Emily and confirming her fears. "He couldn't have done this! You don't understand, he raised me in that house, he couldn't have been doing that all these years…" Frustrated tears poured down Sam Allen's cheeks. "No!" She yelled finally through gritted teeth.

"Okay, okay," Emily soothed, trying to calm her back down. She reached across the table and placed her hand on Sam's. The touch seemed to placate the woman, her breathing slowed at least, and the aggressive anger left her eyes. She looked at Emily sorrowfully before dropping her head.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"It's okay," Emily patted her hand. "No need to apologize. You did great. I need to go check on something, but you take a minute, okay?" Sam looked at her gratefully and nodded as Emily stood up. She wanted to go see what Hotch and Rossi made of Sam's reaction to her memory.

…

JJ hung up with Hotch and waited for Garcia to call back, staring through the window as Morgan taught Angel how to flip the coin over his knuckles. JJ smiled as the boy did, pleased with himself for turning the coin over a few fingers slowly. Her phone chirped – it was Garcia calling back.

"Hey finally," JJ greeted her friend.

"_Sorry babe, I was on a search for your Emily."_

JJ felt herself blush slightly at Garcia's use of pronoun. It also unnerved her a little, because she knew Penelope well enough to know that her word choices were deliberate and that the technical analyst would almost always say "our" in front of another team member's name.

"Er, ok please tell me you found something," JJ pushed the remark out of her head and refocused on the case.

"_I want to tell you that," Penelope answered ruefully. "But JJ there is not a single kid in the tristate area who's gone missing who's name is Angel. I did a nationwide search, still nothing. Zilch!"_

"Why wouldn't he be reported missing?" JJ asked, frustrated.

"_You tell me," _Garcia huffed.

"There's a lot of undocumented workers in Arizona," JJ offered, trying to come up with some reason.

"_Yes I know, I've pulled harvest schedules already."_

"What about school registrations?" JJ asked. "We think he's been held for a long time, so you can narrow by anyone who dropped out during grade school. Go back to at least 2004."

"_2004, 2004,"_ JJ heard Garcia muttering as her fingers clacked away at the keyboard. "_Second grader Angel Suarez,"_ Garcia said suddenly.

"You got a picture?"

"_Yes. And….if I run my simulation software to age him 8 years…"_ she paused. "_He'd be the boy that's in the room with you right now! It's him, JJ!"_

"Oh you are amazing," JJ was both overwhelmingly relieved and excited at the news. "Can you send-"

"_Send his mother's information to you right now?_" Garcia interrupted, reading her mind. "_Done."_

"You're the best," JJ smiled. "Thank you." She hung up the phone.

…

Hotch had agreed to put JB Allen under rolling surveillance. After Emily updated him on what her cognitive interview had revealed about Sam's memory, he agreed that it might be worth asking Sam to wear a wire and go talk to her dad.

"I know this isn't easy for you," she said, watching Sam frown at the wire in her hand.

The woman scoffed, and stared up at Emily, an incredulous look on her face.

"If I accuse him, and he's done nothing, then I've betrayed him." She tossed the microphone down on the table between them and turned her back on Emily.

Emily sighed. "But if he _has_," she countered, "you'll save a young boy."

Sam rolled her eyes, looking quite annoyed at Emily's playing on her emotions.

"Look, the best way for you to recover more of your memory," Emily tried again, "is to return to the source of the initial sensory trigger. That was the basement."

Sam seemed to contemplate the statement for a moment.

"How do I explain going down there?" She asked, and Emily could tell she was legitimately considering the request.

"Does he have anything of yours down there?" Emily suggested.

"Yeah."

"See if you can get it back." Sam rolled her eyes again, but turned back to the table and touched the microphone, running her fingers down the loose wire.

"You'll be there?" She asked, glancing up at Emily.

"In a van, as close as I can get," she reassured her. It seemed to work, because Sam picked up the device and nodded.

"Okay."

"You can do this," she said, giving the apprehensive woman a reassuring smile. "You just need to talk to him."

Sam nodded, but the nervousness and fear was evident in her eyes.

"Hey," Emily whispered softly, laying her hand on the woman's shoulder. "This doesn't mean he's guilty, but we need to know. We need to find this boy. And you're helping."

Sam raised her eyes and nodded again. Her jaw was clenched resolutely, and she allowed Emily to lead her out of the room to where Hotch and Rossi were waiting.

"We're going to be down at the end of the driveway the whole time," Emily explained and Hotch nodded.

"If anything should happen, we'll be ready," Hotch added and Emily felt Sam falter.

"Wha- what do you think is going to happen?"

"We don't know," Emily said quickly, steadying her. "We don't know how your father will react."

"Because I'm accusing him of being a murderer," Sam muttered and Emily smoothed her hand over the woman's back.

"You're helping us find this boy," she repeated adamantly. Sam didn't reply, but continued with them to her truck.

…

Emily was on edge the whole time Sam was in the house. She was near certain that JB Allen was the unsub. Sam's memories were just _too_ real.

"He's not trying to get her out of there," Rossi said, as they all sat listening as Sam chatted with her dad.

"Not yet," Emily replied, wishing Rossi would just be quiet. _Give her some time_.

There was a brief moment when JB seemed to want to prevent Sam from going to the basement to retrieve her softball mitt, but he relented in the end. They heard Sam descend the steps, presumably into the basement where the most intense part of her memory had taken place.

Emily practically held her breath, listening for the slightest clue.

"He let her go down there," Rossi spoke again, and Emily knew he was subtly trying to point out to her that this indicated that JB was most likely not the unsub. Or at least didn't have anything to hide in the basement.

"Yeah, but he hesitated," Emily defended, needing this not to have been in vain. She had poured herself into being there for Sam, and part of it was because she knew that Morgan and JJ were struggling with Angel. Putting this woman through her own hell had to be worth something to the case.

"He's not acting like he's got something to hide, Emily," the older man said bluntly, taking his earpiece away from his ear and frowning at her. Emily kept her back turned, not ready to let this go yet.

"Well, that's how he's gotten away with it," she said, hearing herself how flimsy that sounded as soon as it came out of her mouth.

"We don't know that," Rossi protested and Emily just wished he would be quiet. _Just let her look around some more_, she pleaded internally. Making Sam go through all this couldn't be for nothing. She had to find something. Emily was so certain she would.

A few seconds later and they heard JB enter the basement and show Sam where the glove was. Emily could hear the agitation in Sam's voice, and the woman got out of the house as fast as she could. Emily sighed, knowing that she would be upset about going in there, thinking the worst about her father, and being wrong.

_Shit._ She didn't know why she had been so convinced. Something about that woman's pain made her want it to be worthwhile. She just had this gut feeling that there was something to Sam's intuition here.

They all watched as Sam's truck pulled out of her father's driveway. Seconds later, Emily's phone rang.

"_I'm so sorry,_" Sam's voice strained as soon as Emily picked up the phone.

"It's okay," she consoled her. "You did everything we asked."

"_There was nothing in the basement, I'm sorry!"_ The distressed woman hung up the phone before Emily could respond again.

Sighing and shaking her head, Emily dropped the phone from her ear. _Great. Back to square one, _she thought.

"Now all we've got is the kid," Rossi commented. Emily knew he didn't mean to make her feel bad, but his words irritated her. Rolling her eyes, she nodded. She couldn't disagree, she just hoped JJ and Morgan were doing better than she had.

…

JJ was sitting with Angel's mother in the waiting area when Hotch called.

"_They didn't have any luck with JB Allen,"_ the Unit Chief explained to her. _"Sam didn't find anything in the house, and he didn't seem like he was trying to keep her from anything."_

"Is she okay?" JJ asked, not knowing if she was asking about Sam Allen or Emily.

"_Emily said she was pretty upset," _Hotch replied. _"I don't know if we're going to get anywhere else with her. Which is why I want you to show a photo line-up to Angel. If you think he can handle it. We need to either eliminate Allen or get a solid lead."_

"Of course," JJ nodded. Angel didn't need to be talking to point to a photo, but she wasn't sure how he would handle potentially seeing his torturer. JJ hung up the phone and pulled up the photo matrix on her tablet. She walked back to the hospital room, but stopped in the doorway when she saw Morgan sitting next to Angel's bed.

"Listen to me," Derek was whispering. "Carl Buford. That's the name of the man who hurt me." JJ's heart ached hearing Morgan mention his childhood abuser, but she could see the tragic bond between the two men.

"I was just a young boy like you, Angel. And I thought about doing that very same thing," Morgan indicated to the bandages on Angel's wrist. "I want to make this man pay for what he did to you," Morgan told the boy. "But I need your help. I promise you that whoever hurt you _will not win_. You and me together, we can take away his freedom. Angel, please," Morgan leaned in closer to the boy. "Will you help me do that?"

JJ watched as Angel gave the smallest of nods. JJ took the action to be a good sign, and entered the room. Angel looked up as she approached, drawing Morgan's attention as well.

"Can you tell us if any of these men look familiar?" JJ asked gently, showing her tablet to Angel. The boy stared at the photos for a moment but then shook his head.

"No," he whispered, looking at Morgan. "It was always too dark."

JJ nodded. "It's okay," she said, not wanting the boy to feel bad right after he had agreed to help. She exchanged a glance with Morgan before leaving the room to call Hotch.

"He said it was too dark," JJ explained over speaker phone to the rest of the team. "He couldn't identify anyone."

"_Shit_," She heard Emily swear. She wanted to ask if she was alright, to calm her down, because she knew how Emily could get wrapped up in cases – _especially _since she'd returned from Paris. Everything seemed to take so much more of an emotional toll on her.

JJ hated that she hadn't spoken to Emily all day, and really, all she wanted was to hear the woman's voice. JJ had a pretty good idea that they both were having a tough time, her watching Angel's pain, and from the sound of it, Emily struggling with Sam Allen's torment.

"Is…everything okay?" JJ asked, hoping Emily would know the question was meant for her.

"_Yeah thanks JJ," _Hotch replied. _"Let us know if anything else comes up. We'll do the same."_

"Ok thanks," JJ said, trying to sound resolute and optimistic, just in case Emily was still listening.

…

Sam returned to the police station about an hour after they did. Emily could tell she didn't want to, but was grateful that she hadn't just disappeared after the visit to her father's house.

"How are you feeling?" Emily asked as the two women stood in the lounge area. Sam's arms were wrapped around herself, and she was avoiding looking at the FBI agent.

"Like I failed," she muttered, still not turning around.

"You didn't," Emily urged.

"I failed _him_," Sam spat, turning around and glaring at Emily. Her eyes immediately softened upon meeting the brunette's and Sam sighed and dropped into a chair. "I actually thought he could've done all this."

Emily nodded, understanding what the woman meant. "I think it took more than a buried memory to come in here," she said, trying to convey that she still thought there was something to Sam's initial instinct. Sam looked up at her, slightly incredulous that Emily was still pushing this after what happened at the house.

Emily shrugged. "Hear me out. There is something about your father's behavior, things he has said or done, that have bothered you for a long time."

Sam seemed to struggle to contain tears, but after a moment she turned resolutely toward Emily. "So, um, what else did I bury then?" Her tone was partly defiant, but Emily could tell that she wasn't wholly convinced there wasn't something else buried.

"His mood swings, probably," Emily suggested, hoping something she said would be correct. "Do you remember when he was happy one day, then angry the next?"

Sam hesitated. "Er, yeah," she nodded finally, dropping her head to stare at her hands.

"When his moods were extreme, did he give you gifts?" Emily prodded. Sam froze, and Emily knew there was something significant. The woman raised her eyes, looking at Emily with a pained look.

"How do you know that?" She asked, the desire for Emily to be wrong etched clearly on her face. Emily hated feeling like she was tearing this woman's father away from her, ripping apart her whole childhood, but there was no other choice.

"What did he give you?" She asked gently.

"A bike, once," Sam shrugged.

"Was that one that you had asked for?"

"No," Sam shook her head firmly.

"Any others?" Emily asked and Sam nodded, her teeth gritted against tears. Her lip trembled as she spoke again.

"My catcher's mitt from today…"

Trophies. Emily glanced up at the evidence board. There should be a significant gift from when Angel was taken. She led Sam out the board.

"What about a few years ago, in 2004?" She asked Sam. The woman looked at the photos of Angel, stunned, but answered.

"That's the year he gave me Randy. My dog," she clarified, still staring horrified at the board.

Emily turned to see Hotch and Rossi entering the room.

"Guys," she said hurriedly, "Sam's father gave her gifts, _trophies_, from each abduction."

"That's significant," Rossi commented.

"We need to find out if Angel had a puppy the day he was taken," Emily informed them and Hotch immediately got JJ on the phone.

"_A puppy?_" Emily heard the young agent's voice on the line. _"His mother said some of the neighbors were giving away puppies that day, actually_…_"_

"Thanks JJ," Hotch said and was about to hang up when JJ stopped him.

"_Wait Hotch,_" she said in a hushed voice. _"We're trying to get a dental match, he's got all these bite marks on him."_

Emily winced as Sam gasped.

"What is it?" She asked, turning to the grimacing woman.

"My dad had his teeth recapped a few years ago," Sam explained. "He said something stupid like 'That's what happens when you get older' or whatever. He made a joke about it." Emily exchanged looks with Hotch, who immediately went to go call Garcia for the records. She stepped forward and laid a comforting hand on Sam's arm.

Hotch and Rossi went with the locals out to Allen's property, while Emily and Reid stayed with Sam at the station.

They ended up tracking down Allen trying to bury Billy Henderson in the foundation of a new addition to his first subdivision.

Emily stood with Sam as they watched Hotch and Rossi bring Billy back to his parents, and lead JB in wearing handcuffs. Emily couldn't imagine what Sam was thinking or feeling, but she let the woman grip her arm tightly as her father passed.

"Thank you for your help," Emily told her. "You saved that little boy today." She indicated through the glass to wear Billy was being hugged by his overjoyed parents.

She could only hope that seeing that would offer Sam some kind of consolation in this painful time.

The booking took awhile, and the team cleaned up their things. The case had been relatively quick, thank God, even though it felt like some kind of eternity. Emily was so looking forward to seeing JJ. She simultaneously loved and hated how much she longed to fall into that woman's arms after 24 hours of not seeing her.

She was minorly disappointed that they didn't get a moment alone, as JJ and Morgan met the rest of the team at the jet as the sun was coming up. Hotch hadn't seen the point of getting a hotel, so everyone pretty much collapsed into sleep as soon as they boarded the plane. JJ slid into the seat next to Emily, who had purposefully chosen the back corner of the plane. If nothing else, she just wanted to hold JJ's hand.

"Hey," the blonde murmured, patting Emily's knee. "Long time no see."

Emily smiled, taking JJ's hand in her own and giving it a squeeze. "Definitely too long. How're you holding up?"

JJ shook her head. "Super hell doesn't even begin to describe what that boy had been through," she said and Emily gave her a knowing look. Sometimes cases were just harder than others. It wasn't necessarily that they were more gruesome or that there were more victims, they were just the kind of emotionally exhausting cases.

"What about you though?" JJ said, straightening up and placing her other hand around Emily's. "You seemed to be taking everything pretty hard."

Emily smiled. The fact that JJ had known that without seeing her or speaking directly to her for 24 hours amazed her.

"I'm fine," she assured her. "It was just difficult to make Sam go through all that. I can't imagine…" She trailed off and JJ nodded, bringing their clasped hands to her lips for a quick kiss.

Emily instinctively glanced around the jet, but the entire team was asleep, worn out from the day.

"Do you think they know?" JJ asked, and Emily knew she'd seen her checking. She shrugged.

"We haven't talked about this yet, but…"

"They can't," JJ finished her sentence for her. "I mean, we're not allowed to…"

"Do you think Hotch would interfere?" Emily asked honestly. So much of her time over the last few months had been wrapped up in convincing herself that there was not the slightest possibility that JJ reciprocated her feelings, that she hadn't even given a second thought to what it might mean if she actually got what she wanted.

JJ shrugged. "I'm not sure. I thought maybe if we kept it quiet, showed him we could still be professional," she looked at Emily who was trying to stifle a mischievous grin. "Oh stop," she rolled her eyes and Emily gave her hand another squeeze. "You know what I mean though."

"Yeah, like if I get shot, you're not going to stop a whole raid?" Emily teased, remembering JJ's panicked look when she had taken that bullet a few weeks ago.

"Shh," JJ blushed. "But yeah, that's what I meant. And then if we told him, he might…I don't know…"

"_Not_ tell Strauss?" Emily supplied and JJ nodded. "Do you think he kept us apart on purpose?" The repressed thought escaped her mouth before she could stop it. She had wondered, although at the same time felt ludicrous saying such a thing out loud when there hadn't actually been a moment of time during the past day when they could have interacted.

"The thought had crossed my mind," JJ whispered, and Emily immediately felt less crazy. "But I don't think so. Not this time, anyway."

Emily nodded. "Does he know about…"

"Will?"

"Yeah."

JJ shrugged. "I haven't told anyone that we've officially broken up. I would say Spence knows, but the poor guy is so clueless about this kind of stuff, I would be really surprised if he'd given it a second thought. And Penelope knows, but I don't think she's said anything to anyone. Dealing with her own stuff…" JJ trailed off.

Emily nodded.

"I think it's best for now to let them think…"

"If they thought you were still together, or working things out, it might ease the pressure on us for awhile," Emily suggested. She didn't want JJ to lie, but she also didn't want her to feel like it would make Emily uncomfortable to let people think she and Will were still together.

JJ looked up and smiled at her gratefully.

"Thank you," she said. "How do you keep a secret from a bunch of FBI profilers though?" She asked, glancing around the plane at their slumbering teammates.

"I'm not sure you do," Emily sighed, leaning back in her seat and letting JJ's head fall on her shoulder. "I guess we'll just deal with it when it comes."

"I guess," JJ murmured, closing her eyes.

"Jayj?" Emily's whisper brought the blonde back from the edge of sleep.

"Mm?"

The brunette hesitated, struggling for a moment with what she wanted to say.

"It's just…so much better when you're around."

JJ smiled, sliding her fingers between Emily's firming her grip on her hand. She knew Emily struggled with the vulnerability that came with their relationship, and saying things like that wasn't exactly her style.

"I'm not going anywhere," JJ whispered, happy to repeat the sentiment whenever necessary.

…~…


	17. Chapter 17: Heathridge Manor

**I am SO sorry it took me so long to update! But like I said, I have every intention of finishing this story, so the updates will come...eventually...Thanks everyone for your patience and kind messages of encouragement :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17: Heathridge Manor<strong>

JJ sat at the kitchen table watching Henry color. She was waiting for Emily to get out of the shower so they could drop Henry off with the babysitter before the two women headed into work.

JJ had been practically living with Emily (more so than previously) for the past few weeks, and she had been making an effort to bring Henry around as much as possible too. Emily's spare bedroom-turned-office had been converted into a makeshift bedroom for Henry when he stayed with them.

"What're you drawing Little Man?" JJ asked, noticing the boy intently creating something on the blank page.

"Us," Henry said simply, as he concentrated on his crayons. JJ didn't think the green and yellow scribbles looked anything like her or Henry, but she didn't protest.

"Looks nice," JJ smiled, glancing back toward the stairs where she had heard the shower shut off. Emily should be down any minute. She wasn't one to take time with a lot of primping in the morning. _And she still looks flawless_, JJ thought affectionately.

"Here." Henry pushed the paper to JJ, indicating to his finished product.

"Oohh," JJ awed. "I love it."

Henry looked briefly pleased with himself before pushing the crayons away from him and shifting restlessly in his seat.

"Do I get to sleep in my bed tonight?" He asked, cocking his head and leaning on the table, his little feet dangling off the chair.

JJ was momentarily taken aback by the question. She knew it was a hassle to keep switching Henry between her and Will's house and Emily's, but she didn't think Henry had minded. He seemed to enjoy the adventure of sleeping on the futon in Emily's office, and had even made himself a little fort in the corner.

"Er, I..." JJ stuttered, unsure of how to approach the question. "Do you not like sleeping here?"

The little boy shrugged. "I do…"

"But you like your bed, huh?" JJ felt pangs of guilt shoot through her as she looked at her son. This disorganized life, switching houses, instability – this was exactly what she had NOT wanted for her child.

Henry nodded enthusiastically at the mention of his own bed.

"You can sleep in your bed any time you want, buddy," JJ told him, leaning down to look him in the eye. He didn't stay too often with her at Emily's, but they had planned for him to stay for a few days in a row while Will worked odd hours.

"I want!" The boy exclaimed, sitting up and flashing his mother a priceless grin. She laughed.

"Okay, then we will ask Daddy if tonight you can stay with him. In your own bed."

"And you stay with Daddy too?"

_Stabbing guilt._

"No, not tonight," JJ said, thankful that at that moment Emily came hurrying down the stairs.

"Sorry!" The brunette called as she grabbed her bag. "I'm ready, we can go." JJ smiled at her as she collected Henry's crayons from the table. _Flawless, as usual._

"Oh you can leave those," Emily waved. "It's not a big deal, and if you're coming back tonight…"

"Yeah, but he might want them at-" JJ started.

"Tonight I get to sleep in my bed!" Henry took the opportunity to announce, causing JJ to cringe.

"I said _maybe_," JJ said to Henry, looking up apologetically at Emily.

The briefest look of confusion passed behind Emily's eyes before the dark-haired woman smiled down at Henry.

"Well I bet you're excited about that, huh?" Emily said, picking up Henry's backpack and offering her hand to the young boy as they headed towards the door.

JJ finished gathering Henry's crayons, feeling guiltier than ever, at the same time trying to assure herself that it wasn't a big deal. Will _was_ Henry's father, and the boy would obviously prefer to stay at his own house…

JJ shook her head at herself. They needed to figure this out. Henry needed stability. And that might mean going "public" with her relationship with Emily.

…

JJ drove them to the babysitter's and then out to Quanitco.

"I'm really sorry about Henry," JJ explained, glancing at the brunette as they pulled into the parking lot. "He just asked if he could sleep in his bed…I didn't know-"

"Jayj," Emily laid her hand on JJ's thigh. "You don't have to keep apologizing. Of course he'd want to sleep in his own bed. It's really not a big deal."

JJ sighed, very relieved and very much in love with this amazing woman beside her. "Thank you," she said sincerely, reaching down and squeezing Emily's hand. "I know things are still kind of messy right now, and I know that we have things to talk about…"

"I'm not in a rush," Emily said, leaning over and kissing JJ's cheek before stepping out of the car. JJ saw as she waved to Morgan, who was also arriving at that moment. Her stomach tightened on reflex on being noticed arriving in the same car as Emily. They didn't always drive together, keeping up appearances, but occasionally, they didn't bother with the extra precautions.

She offered Derek a small smile as the three of them headed to the building.

"Case already," Derek informed the two as they made their way down the hall.

"I need coffee first," JJ mumbled.

"Get it," Emily said, reaching for JJ's bag. "I'll get your stuff to the conference room."

"Thanks," JJ looked at her gratefully as Morgan laughed.

"Got your priorities straight, girl," he winked as he followed Emily into the BAU offices.

When JJ arrived in the round table room with a steaming cup of coffee, the seats next to Emily were occupied. She felt like a teenager, being disappointed about something that stupid, but she immediately thought it was better – they couldn't sit together _all_ the time, people would notice.

_Really? Would they? You are so paranoid._

"Sorry for the delay!" Garcia apologized as she scuttled into the conference room carrying her laptop. "The system was down – we overwork her. So I had to go into the belly of the beast and do some machine whispering. Which is good – thank you-" She said as Hotch handed her the remote, "because this one is a _doozey_."

JJ exchanged a look with Emily. It looked like their weekend plans would be disrupted by more than just Henry.

"This is Emma Baker," Garcia commenced the briefing and JJ turned reluctantly toward the screen. It was so difficult to have a life with this job, even if your life was one of your coworkers. No wonder none of the BAU members could sustain a relationship.

"She went missing seventeen days ago and her body was found yesterday afternoon at St. Baldwin's. St. Baldwin's is a now-defunct psychiatric hospital for the criminally insane," the technical analyst clarified to the team. "That is in Salem, Oregon," Garcia went on as a new picture flashed on screen. "We've been called in for the bizarre nature of the case – observe the photos."

"Wow," JJ's jaw dropped. The woman was lying in an old hospital bed, dressed in some sort of elaborate Elizabethan-era costume. "Look at that dress."

"Was she going to a Renaissance fair?" Emily asked and JJ stifled a snort. Leave it to Emily to ask the nerdy question.

"Not with her feet bound," Garcia said and JJ noticed the rope tying the woman's ankles together. "And the missing person's report said she was in jeans and a tshirt."

"Look at how she's laid out," Morgan spoke, staring at one of the hard copy photos on the table. "It's almost like it's a ceremony and she's the sacrifice."

"Could it be a ritualistic killing?" JJ asked.

"The cause of death is still unclear," Hotch didn't exactly answer JJ's question. "The M.E's report shows no sign of sexual assault or mutulation."

"Judging by all the graffiti, this place doesn't look like it's exactly locked down," Morgan interjected, and Garcia told them that the local PD had reports of vandals and vagrants breaking into the asylum since it closed.

"Which means she could've been killed elsewhere and placed here," Rossi concluded.

"Well the unsub transported her hundreds of miles from her hometown for a reason," Emily added and JJ nodded in agreement. There was some weird significance to this asylum.

"We just need to find out what that reason is," Hotch remarked, standing up. "Wheel's up in thirty."

JJ turned to Emily, who simply raised her eyebrows.

"I'm going to call Will," JJ mouthed, and as Emily nodded it was clear that they had both been thinking of the weekend plans with Henry. The fact that Emily would think to consider her son caused JJ to smile. She resisted the urge to touch Emily – a pat on the arm, squeezing her hand, _anything_ – as she walked past her out of the room. That had definitely been the most difficult part of the decision to keep their relationship quiet for the time being. And now that they were sleeping together, keeping her physical distance from Emily required all the more effort.

…

Emily took the seat across from JJ on the jet. It was much too dangerous for them to be sitting next to each other, with JJ's wandering hands and whatnot. Plus this way they could exchange looks without it appearing so obvious that they were constantly looking at each other. Emily wasn't a huge fan of the fact that every little interaction at work had to be carefully considered and calculated so as not to raise suspicion, but she knew how concerned JJ was about people finding out, and so they didn't really have a choice when their coworkers were all behavioral experts.

_It's not like they don't all know already_, Emily thought glancing around at the team. She actually wasn't sure if they did, which made her feel uneasy as a profiler. Morgan hadn't mentioned anything to her for weeks, and he'd pretty much stopped giving her suggestive looks whenever JJ was around, so Emily hoped this meant that he thought things between them had not changed. And since last weekend when she was drunk, Garcia hadn't said anything either.

"Emma Baker was a divorced math teacher," Rossi said, interrupting Emily's assessment and kicking off the usual victimology brainstorming session, and Emily pulled her mind away from attempting to profile her coworkers and back to the case.

"She has a boyfriend though," Garcia piped up from the video screen, "who's a drummer in a goth band. Her Facebook has pictures of them at this vampire festival and Slayerama, which is a celebration of all things gothic."

"Ohh, teacher by day, Elvira by night," JJ grinned, raising her eyebrows suggestively at Emily. The brunette shook her head, thinking she was going to kill JJ later for the sly teasing about her gothic past. Thankfully no one else caught on, and Emily gave what she prayed was JJ's leg a swift kick under the table.

The blonde's response was only to widen her grin and give Emily a wink.

_Subtle. Nice. Quit your flirting Prentiss._

"The boyfriend's band pours fake blood all over themselves on stage," Reid said, clearly perplexed at such a thing.

"Ok so if these two were Satanists, it wouldn't be a stretch," Emily said purposefully avoiding JJ's gaze.

"Yes, but," Garcia broke in before anyone else could answer, "the boyfriend has an airtight alibi. He and his band have been on tour in Asia for the past month."

"Emily, you asked earlier if she was going to a Renaissance fair," Rossi said, turning to face Emily. "There's something to that."

Again, Emily ignored JJ's smirk, and remained decidedly professional.

"Based on the dress, there could be more of a connection to history than the occult," she explained, flipping through the photos.

"Renaissance fairs typically replicate 16th century England," Reid unnecessarily explained. "They've surged in popularity since the 1960s."

"And-and they're not just a bunch of nerds in costumes eating turkey legs you guys," Garcia was quick to add, causing Emily to share a sympathetic look. She looked up to see JJ shaking her head affectionately at the both of them.

...

Once the team landed, they split up to their respective duties. Hotch and Rossi went to the asylum, while Emily went with Morgan to see the body and interview the Medical Examiner, and JJ and Reid went to set up at the station.

"So what was the actual cause of death?" Emily asked as Morgan circled the table, examining the body.

"It's bizarre," the ME said. "None of the normal tox screens came up with anything, so after running the secondary round, it seems she actually died from nicotine poisoning."

Emily exchanged a look with Derek.

"The dress she was clothed in was soaked in a nicotine-based pesticide," the ME continued.

"Why didn't she just take it off?" Emily asked.

"Well, it wouldn't take long for her to become incapacitated," the ME explained. "In any case, even if she had remained functional, she couldn't have removed the dress. She was sewn in."

Morgan's eyebrows shot up. Emily scoffed.

"Sewn in?"

The doctor nodded. "There's more," he called their attention to Emma Baker's feet. "The effects here would indicate that she was submerged in water for some time before she was killed."

"I'd better call Hotch," Morgan said and he picked up his phone.

Minutes later, the two of them were heading out of the morgue.

"I'll call Reid and JJ and update them," Emily said as they made their way across the parking lot.

"Hey JJ," she said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible while trying to see if Morgan looked like he was watching her any closer than usual.

"_Hi!" _JJ sounded pleasantly surprised to be hearing from Emily. _"What'd you guys find out from the coroner?"_

Emily couldn't help but smile at the evident happiness in her coworker's voice. "Well, apparently Emma Baker died of nicotine poisoning. Her dress was soaked in some kind of pesticide."

"_That's…creative,"_ JJ seemed just as perplexed as she and Morgan had been at the manner of death.

"Yeah, well Hotch said to call you and see if you and Reid can find a garment shop, to find anything out about the dress or material."

"_Sure," _JJ replied. _"We'll head out now. See you in a bit?"_

It was clearly a hopeful question.

"Yeah," Emily smiled again as she climbed into the SUV with Morgan. "See you soon."

...

A little over an hour later, the team was reassembled at the field station to go over what each pair had sat at the desk, flipping through a stack of photos that had come from the asylum while JJ and Reid talked about their visit to the fabric store.

"The man at the store said that the fabric was probably custom-made, and the man said that the dress was definitely homemade," Reid informed the group.

"He also said the person who made it was most likely a woman because the detailing would require small hands,"JJ added. "Which makes us think he could be working with a young accomplice."

"Someone who might even have been coerced," Reid finished, looking around at the team for reactions.

"Hey," Emily said suddenly, looking up from a particular photo of a portion of the asylum wall, "Look at this." She held up the photo, which showed a list of numbers, and next to the first few there were names. At first glance it just looked like more graffiti, but Emily felt like it was too specific.

"Detective," Hotch said, frowning at the photo, "What did the paint analysis say about this section?"

"Er," the detective fumbled through his papers. "Best guess that was painted about three days ago."

Emily caught JJ's eye. The names, in order, read: Christine, Emma, Alice. And then there were three more serial numbers without corresponding names. It was looking more and more like this was a victim list. But it still didn't explain what the numbers meant.

Hotch sighed. "We can come back to this tomorrow. If you want to go get some rest, head over to the hotel."

JJ looked inquisitively at Emily, who nodded. There was nothing she wanted more right now than to lay down in a nice bed and hold JJ in her arms. She had a feeling this case was only going to get worse and they might not have another chance to spend any time together.

…

Just as Emily guessed, things progressed overnight. She was woken up by A gentle kiss from JJ and the not-so-gentle news that another body had been found.

"Rossi said you and him were going to the scene," JJ informed her as she dressed. The two had given up any pretense of sneaking back to separate hotel rooms, and JJ's hotel key had gone unused during the past few trips. As long as no one saw them emerging from the same room, Emily didn't think it mattered, but she could tell that sometimes JJ was anxious about the coordination of it all.

"So you should go first and I'll wait here a few minutes," JJ said, checking her watch.

"Whatever you say, Boss," Emily said, leaning in to kiss JJ's temple as she went to leave.

"Wait-"

Emily let the door fall shut as JJ pulled her back.

"I wanted to..." The rest of JJ's sentence was lost in the meeting of their lips as she pressed into Emily.

"Mm," Emily smiled as they broke apart. "I hate to go now..."

"You have a body," JJ reminded her gently, nudging Emily back towards the door.

"Fine, fine. Later then," she winked as she turned to exit the room.

Emily met Rossi in the lobby and they set off to see the latest victim, who had been found in an empty storefront downtown.

"God this is so creepy," she said as they stood and looked down at the body of Alice Pritchard, dressed in another elaborate Elizabethean gown. "Why leave her in an empty store?"

"I don't think it's about the store," Rossi said, indicating to the theater across the street. Emily saw a Shakespeare title across the marquee.

"Let's go see if we can talk to someone over there," she suggested and the two headed out.

They showed photos of the gowns the unsub had been using to the costume mistress in the theater. She recognized them as part of the wardrobe for the Merry Wives of Windsor, a play that hadn't been out on by that theater for a few years now.

Hotch called to update them on their way back to the field office. Apparently Reid had figured out that the numbers listed on the asylum wall corresponded to dates of important holidays on the Satanic calendar.

Emily was quiet on the remainder of the ride. She hated these cases that were wrapped up in satanism and the like. Not to mention the whole insane asylum thing just upped the creep factor by a hundred.

…

The following day, the team got word that another woman had gone missing from a nightclub in Portland. Rossi and Morgan were sent to check it out, to see if the bartenders could remember seeing anyone who could possibly be the unsub.

"Ok I did some varsity-level sleuthing," Garcia's voice rang out of Hotch's phone. "It turns out, the costumes were donated to the theater by a young actress named Kate Harris. She was in their production of the Merry Wives of Windsor sixteen years ago."

"Where is she now?" JJ asked.

"Oh I was hoping you would ask that," Garcia replied excitedly, "because I have the answer. She died in 1998 in the fire at St. Baldwin's Psychiatric Hospital."

"Was she a patient there?"

"Oh most definitely. And some say she set that fire," Garcia added, causing JJ to exchange a knowing look with Hotch.

"Garcia can you get her medical records?" Hotch asked.

"Uh, yeeeah, I tried to do that, but it turns out the director of St. Baldwin's was a technophobe hyper-luddite, and he only wanted the psych records to be on paper to protect confidentiality."

Hotch nodded solemnly. "Thanks Garcia, we'll get them." He turned to the detective. "Do you think we can get a copy of those records?"

The detective nodded. "We can, but I'll tell you right now I know where they are. It would cost the state too much money to pay for a new storage facility, so they keep all that stuff locked up in the basement at the hospital."

JJ stood up. "I'll go. And I'll grab Emily to help."

"That's fine," Hotch granted.

"I just gotta make a few calls to make sure we're good to go," the detective told JJ. "I'll meet you out front."

The blonde nodded. She needed to go find Emily, who, she already knew, was not going to be very happy about being volunteered for this task.

…

Emily came out of the breakroom carrying coffee for JJ and a cup of tea for herself. She didn't think this counted as an "obvious gesture" since everyone got coffee for each other all the time – even unasked.

As she was making her way back to the room with the evidence board, JJ herself came striding down the hall.

Emily couldn't help her eyes from raking over JJ's entire form as she approached. She didn't feel guilty about doing it now, no that she knew JJ would let her hands do the same thing tonight.

"Stop checking me out!" JJ hissed, laughing as she neared the older woman. "I can tell that's what you're doing!"

"No one is around," Emily defended herself, giving the petite blonde a mischievous grin. "Here." She handed JJ the coffee.

"Oh you are a saint," JJ sighed, wrapping her hands around the little Styrofoam cup. "Please remember how much I love you when I tell you what I just volunteered you for."

Emily's eyebrows shot up. "That doesn't sound good…"

"Well, we're both going if that makes it better," JJ said. "But we have to go sort through old records at the insane asylum. Apparently they never saw the benefit of computers."

"Now?" Emily asked, glancing outside, where it was already getting dark. "How much creepier could this case get."

JJ patted her arm, but quickly dropped her hand when she saw the local detective approaching.

"Ready ladies?" He asked, holding up a flashlight. Emily gave JJ a pointed look.

"You so owe me," she hissed as they followed the detective out to the car.

…

When they arrived at St. Baldwin's it was pitch dark outside. The abandoned building loomed ominously in front of them as the detective unlocked the front gates.

"After you, ladies," he said, ushering them through.

"No electricity I take it," Emily commented as she stared up at the empty asylum. _Yeah, JJ definitely was going to answer for this later._

"You would be correct," Detective Gassner sighed, pulling out the flashlight he'd been carrying earlier. Emily exchanged a look with JJ as they did the same, their small beams of light guiding them across the grounds to the basement storeroom.

The room was huge, and completely disorganized, as one might expect an abandoned insane asylum half destroyed by fire to be. Emily wasn't afraid of the dark, or of many things, given her line of work, but these kinds of old time asylums creeped her out. Reluctantly, she left JJ's side to venture down one of the aisles, past shelves filled with jars and vials of Emily didn't want to know what.

At the end of the row, she found a segment of shelving stacked with folders, and prayed they were patient records. She flipped through the piles quickly, glancing up every so often to see JJ's flashlight beam bobbing around the room.

A sudden crash and high pitched screech caused her to jump.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!" Emily heard JJ's screaming and she sought her out with her flashlight.

"Jayj?" She called, squinting across the room to where her beam of light had found part of the blonde's figure through the rows of shelves. "Everything okay?"

"Oh my god I don't even know what this is, but- yes I'm fine!" JJ yelled back. "Some nasty jar of God-knows-what just fell and broke all over the floor."

Emily heard her coworker muttering obscenities as she continued to move down the aisle. Emily returned to the stack of files on her shelf, grinning to herself as she was amused by JJ's creative use of swear words in reaction to the spill.

"Oh, I think I found it!" she exclaimed suddenly, seeing a file labeled "Harris, K." The detective and JJ were at her side within seconds.

"Ok first of all, Kate Harris was a stage name for Katherine Heathridge, a textile heiress," Emily read from the file. "According to the intake report, Katherine was an aspiring actress who went off her psychiatric medications when she was pregnant with her daughter. She had a minor part in the Merry Wives of Windsor sixteen years ago when she became floridly psychotic. She was convinced the other actresses were the devil's wives, so she stabbed one of them." Emily looked up at JJ. This shit was freaky.

"Was that when she was admitted here?" JJ asked, prompting Emily to look back at the file.

"No, not yet, it seemed she had a son and a daughter…oh God," Emily flinched, and struggled to read the next line aloud. "After fleeing the theater, she rushed home and chopped off the left arm of her infant daughter."

"Why would she do that?" The detective looked just as disgusted at they did.

Emily glanced up from the page. "To make the child less appealing to the devil."

"Oh God," JJ echoed, clearly horrified.

"She believed killing the devil's wives was her mission on earth, which is what our unsub is doing now," Emily explained, meeting JJ's eyes.

"Someone else must be carrying on her mission," the blonde agreed. "Let's take that back to the station. Hotch will want to see it."

There were no complaints from Emily or the detective, who turned to follow JJ back through the labyrinth of shelves to the stairs.

…

With information that Emily had found in the asylum records combined with Garcia's technological wizardry, the team headed off to the Heathridge family home to find Catherine Heathridge's son.

As soon as they arrived, Emily noticed someone was up in the top floor window, and she split up from Morgan and Hotch and went upstairs.

Emily burst into the attic and saw Catherine's daughter, Lara, chained to the grate, wearing yet another Elizabethean gown.

"Oh God," Emily cried, running to the girl's side. Lara was already near delirium, sweating and half collapsed on the floor.

"It's alright," Emily soothed, trying to cut the dress off as fast as possible. "You're going to be just fine- oh shit!" She realized it probably wasn't a good idea to be touching the dress with her bare hands. She grabbed gloves out of her vest and went back to work on the dress.

"There!" She yelled, ripping the seam and pulling the heavy fabric off of Lara. She carried the feverish girl away, taking her down the stairs. Emily had no idea where Hotch was, but she needed to get this girl medical attention as soon as possible.

Not too much time later, Hotch emerged from the house, just as the rest of the team and medics were showing up. By the look on his face and fact that he was alone, Emily knew that the unsub, James Heathridge, must not have made it.

_At least we saved Lara though, _Emily consoled herself as she went over to where JJ, Reid and Morgan were standing.

"Everyone okay?" she asked, stopping beside JJ and lightly touching her arm.

JJ immediately pulled away, taking a step to put distance between her and Emily.

"Yeah, fine," the blonde said hurriedly and avoided Emily's gaze. Emily dropped her hand, controlling her facial expressions but very much feeling exasperated at JJ's unnecessarily paranoid response.

Internally shaking her head, she ignored JJ and turned to her other teammates. "And you guys?"

The men nodded and watched as James' body was brought out of the house in a body bag.

"Anyone know what happened in there?" Morgan asked, as they observed the scene.

Emily shook her head. "I was with Lara."

"He fell down the cistern in the basement." Hotch appeared at that moment looking quite exhausted. "Let's go get the field office cleaned up. I want to fly out tonight."

The team nodded and all turned back towards the vehicles.

"I'm sorry," Emily heard JJ whisper as she came up along side her. "I didn't mean to react like that...it was just...instinct or something."

Emily didn't comment on the implication that JJ was saying it was instinct for her to pull away from her, but instead she just nodded.

"I understand, Jayj." And she did. She knew JJ was really worried about what people thought and if they were found out. "I just think sometimes we're more paranoid than we need to be. We're allowed to be friends, you know."

She shot the blonde a quick grin to show she was half teasing. JJ returned the smile and nudged her with her hip.

"_Friends_," she winked and they both smiled as they got into the cars.

…

Emily held the door for JJ when they arrived back at her condo after a long flight from Oregon.

"That was one of the weirder ones," JJ sighed, throwing her purse on Emily's table and collapsing into one of the chairs.

Emily nodded, dropping her purse as well and heading to the fridge. She wanted some wine and there was a bottle of chardonnay chilling in there calling her name.

"Want any?" she offered, holding the bottle up for JJ to see.

The blonde grinned. "You speak my language, Agent Prentiss."

Emily rolled her eyes affectionately at JJ, and took two glasses from the cupboard.

"So," JJ started, and Emily looked at her inquisitively as she handed her the glass of wine. "Do you think they know?"

Emily really hoped they weren't having the "does the team know" discussion _again_. It seemed like it had come up during the case all the time, and Emily was really sick of it. She understood JJ was apprehensive, she understood that JJ had other things to consider – Henry, mainly – but truthfully, if Emily had her way, they'd have informed Hotch about their relationship already.

Emily simply shrugged, hoping JJ would drop it.

"Yeah, I don't know, I kind of feel like Morgan might be catching on," she said, taking a sip of her wine.

"Does it matter?" Emily mumbled as she lifted her own glass to her lips. She immediately saw JJ react harshly.

"Um," the blonde set down her wine glass and looked at Emily sternly. "Yeah it matters. We could get in serious trouble, Emily."

_I guess we are having this conversation right now, _Emily sighed.

"You really think Hotch would let that happen?" She asked, trying not to sound exasperated. "The team knowing isn't the same as Strauss knowing-"

"I think Hotch would see it as compromising our ability to perform in the field!" JJ interrupted, getting a little worked up.

Emily reminded herself to breathe, and she nodded. "That is possible." She didn't want to keep fighting with JJ on this, and the truth was that she had no idea what Hotch would do if they disclosed their relationship to him.

"Anyway," JJ seemed to calm back down when Emily offered her agreement. "I can't figure out if they've been noticing things or not. Because we've been showing up in the same car sometimes and things…"

Emily shrugged, downing the rest of her wine and standing up. If this is what they were going to do, she wanted to go to bed.

She knew her actions were making it clear to JJ that she was annoyed, but she couldn't help it. It was this kind of uncertainty from the younger woman that had caused all the problems in the beginning, and Emily had hoped that they were past all of it.

"I'm going to bed," she announced matter-of-factly, leaving her glass on the table and turning toward the stairs.

"Emily," JJ abandoned the rest of her drink and stood as well. "I'm sorry," she said, taking Emily's arm, preventing her ascent and commanding her attention.

"You have to know…" JJ trailed off, and Emily took the opportunity to wrap her arms around JJ's waist, pulling her tightly against her.

"Listen to me, Jennifer," Emily said firmly. "I know that you worry about these things, and that I should probably be more concerned."

"I-"

Emily silenced JJ's interruption with a shake of her head.

"And I am sorry that I can be so bitchy when the subject comes up," Emily continued.

JJ rolled her eyes at Emily's choice of words.

"I just don't want to constantly have to censor myself around you. To calculate every little action because it might 'give us away.' I like getting your coffee," Emily laid a kiss on JJ's forehead, before continuing, keeping their bodies snugly together. "I like driving to work with you, I like asking you how you're holding up throughout the day, I like," she paused, pulling JJ's mouth to hers for a brief kiss, "sharing a hotel room with you, even if not on paper…"

JJ smiled and brought their lips together again. "I like that too," she whispered against Emily's mouth, her hands wandering up to caress Emily's neck.

"And," she pulled away slightly to look in Emily's dark eyes, "I know that I am being extremely frustrating with my paranoia. I don't want to push you away or make you think that I'm embarrassed of you – of us, because I'm not." JJ searched Emily's eyes for belief.

The brunette smiled. "I don't think that."

"Good. I love all those things too, and I promise I'll work on my constant worrying about this, ok? I have every intention of sharing with the world just how much I love you, Emily, but I just…" she trailed off, dropping her eyes. She knew she sounded like a broken record, always "needing to figure things out."

"Hey," Emily said, drawing her gaze again. "It's alright. I don't need the world to know, JJ. _I_ know. And while I don't like having to be secretive, I know there are a lot of things that go along with this. So, don't apologize. Take your time."

"I do not deserve you," JJ murmured, staring gratefully into Emily's eyes. "I…" She shook her head.

Emily watched the slightly pained look on JJ's face. She wanted to give JJ time, she wanted the young woman to have everything she needed, even if it made things difficult. She also wanted to not have to spend all that time talking about the fact that they were still a secret. Right now, she just wanted JJ.

"Come on," Emily said, kissing JJ's cheek and pulling her toward the stairs. "Let me finish explaining about all the reasons I love it when we share a hotel room." She winked, and JJ laughed, allowing herself to be led up the stairs.

~…~


End file.
